"…thanks for your call. Unfortunately, I cannot / don't want / are not interested to answer right now, pick your favorite. You can leave a message after the scream. Kisses~!" *IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIK!*

"Crowley! I know that you are there! You have exactly one minute time to answer before I start the summoning spell! I'm not kidding here, demon!"

* click * "Ah, Bobby… Before you say anything else: what are you wearing?"

"…Shut it, Crowley! I do not have time to play games with you. I want a clear answer to this: what it is, what Sam says about Dean being in purgatory?"

"…You certainly aren't any fun today, luv…"

"Crowley…!"

"All right, all right - now calm down, before you burst one of the vital veins or something ... Yes, Squirrel and Cassie are in purgatory."

"Well then why aren't you already getting them away from there!?"

"…"

* sigh * "Crowley…"

"… Is there any particular rush for that?"

"…?! Particular rush, huh?!"

"Well, couldn't you think of this experience as a kind of… An Informal Educational Camp?"

"… You took that from Wikipedia, didn't you?"

"Dean and Cas get time to patch their infected relationship…"

"Crowley…"

"… And they certainly will get a number of new friends…"

"Crowley!"

"… Well, maybe not many, not with that temperament at least…"

"CROWLEY!"

… "Yes, love?"

"…Purgatory is the place where monsters go after death, right?"

… "Of course."

"And Dean is a hunter. So it's very likely that all the inhabitants of the place would be very happy to eat him raw."

"Noticing Dean's cholesterol values, I would not recommend…"

"Damnit, Crowley! Now stop that quibbling and start to think up a way to get those two out of there and back to here and I mean NOW!"

… "You didn't ask nicely."

"Crowley!"

* humph * "But Dean and Sam would try to make me give back my prophet!"

… "Your what?"

"…My prophet."

* sigh * "…You're talking about Kevin Tran now, aren't you…?"

"…Oh well…"

* siiiighhhh * "Crowley, sent the kid to his home."

"Nope."

"… You know that you sound like an elementary schooler right now?"

…! "Now that was rude, Bobby!"

"Crowley, be sensible now. Please. Let the boy go to his home and help me to get Dean and Cas back. I'm you begging here. And if you know me AT ALL, you know how HARD it is for me to have to ask for ANYTHING from ANYBODY, especially from a DEMON!"

… "Yes, I believe it… Well, let's say like this: If I help you to pick up Dean and Feathers… AND let the prophet go… What do I get?"

… "My eternal gratitude?"

"That sounds… tempting, yes, buuuut… I'll pass. If you want me to help you in this, you should offer to me something just as valuable in exchange."

"…You better not even begin to start about me selling my soul to you, Crowley, or I'll …!"

"Oh, Bobby, I really wouldn't want to separate your soul from your body any time soon ~!"

… * sigh * "…Crowley, I'm way too tired to play these games with you right now. Say what you want - directly, and without any loopholes - and I will see what I can do."

"…You could start by calling me Fergus."

… "…What?"

* sigh * "Crowley's a surname. My father and Aziraphale call me Fergus; you could do the same."

"… You want me to call you by your given name?"

"YOU always make me to call you Bobby."

"So, since Mr. Singer sounds somehow… Oh well. So now on I'll be calling you Fergus: this much clear. What else?"

"… Has anyone told you that you are a wonderful man?"

"Crow- um, Fergus! Focus. This can't be all yiu're hoping to gaing out of this?"

"…I want a room."

… "Huh?"

"You shouldn't say "huh" all that much, luv; it sounds vulgar, even for you… I said I wanted a room. In your house, from my own use. A place where I can come and go as I feel like."

"…You're not serious."

"Oh, you have no idea how serious I am, love…"

"Should I really believe that that is all what you want? Guest room for you to use and to be called by your first name?"

"…I have no power over what you're believing about anything, Bobby, but yes, that's all what I ask at this time."

… "One would think that the King of Hell would have little more far-reaching dreams."

"Oh, Bobby… You wouldn't even start to guess what kinds of things I dream of~"

* blush * "…Was that really all? I won't offer this again… Fergus."

"… Should we seal the deal by traditional way?"

"What - no! Damn it, Crowl- Fergus, can't you take anything seriously?"

"But I'm being deathly seriously, Bobby ~!"

… "You will have to purchase your furniture yourself."

"No problem, luv~"

"And the boy - Kevin - leaves to his home right now."

* sigh * "All right, all right… He just popped up next to his mother on the couch."

"…I'll ask Sam to call him and to make sure of that."

* humph* "Don't you trust my word…?"

"…For my own part, yes… But for others, I'll still play it safe."

… "You are indeed a wonderful man, Bobby Singer ~"

* blush* "…You're hopeless… How are you going to get Dean and Cas out of the Purgatory?"

"Mmmmm… There's one Reaper I know who can take care of it for me… He usually takes that route on his way to the Hell…"

… "Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not; just give me a moment so I can contact that acquaintance of mine about this, and the prodigals should be at home safely during the current day."

"…Thank you, Fergus."

"Oh no; thanks belongs entirely to you, Bobby~"

"… How do I feel that you got more out of this than what we just agreed?"

"That's your paranoia talking just now, love… But I'll come to see you again in the evening!"

"Yeah, well, whatever… as long as all the boys arrive safely to home…"

*giggle* "I can't wait to start making plans for our little love nest~"

"Just… What? What nest?! "

"I have to hurry, honey; kisses~!" * click * * beeb beeb beeb *

"What was that about a love nest? Fergus…? Fergus!?"

* beeb beeb beeb *

"… Balls…"