I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. I started back to work, and just haven't felt like writing lately. Plus, side note, I've met Norman Reedus since the last update! Message me if you want deets! I was very excited and he is a really sweet guy. Next up, Melissa McBride hopefully!
Y'all probably want to thank my beta Jen for encouraging me to lengthen certain aspects of this chapter. I don't want to give anything away but it rhymes with mexy limes! Thanks Jen for all your help.
Still don't own The Walking Dead. *sigh*
Enjoy!
The moon seemed extra bright, its glow flooding the room in light. A cool gentle breeze had the curtains fluttering causing shadows to dance along the wall. She closed her eyes tightly, burying her head further into her pillow listening to Judith's faint cries through the baby monitor. She was warm and comfortable and her body was resisting the pull to consciousness. She pushed herself to sit, the carpet smooth and silky, threading through her toes. It was still such a strange sensation to be once again barefoot in the world. Wearing shoes, being prepared to run at every moment of the day, had often been the difference between life or death. Never again would she take even those small things in life for granted.
Judith's restlessness began to grow. Carol stood and started to make her way across her room, rubbing tiredly at her eyes. Judith, like them all, suffered from uneven sleep patterns, still not accustomed to the 'normalcy' of Alexandria, a baby used to only a life on the run.
Anxiousness rolled in the pit of her stomach as she neared Judith's room. Ever since the Grove she had tried to avoid those vulnerable moments with Judith, moments where both she and the baby were between sleep and consciousness. Carol knew it was in those moments where the walls she had worked hard to build would begin to crumble. She loved that little girl so wholly that it frightened her and because of that she did her best to keep Judith at arms length. She had to distance herself, afraid to commit to the feelings one hundred percent, afraid to lose another child she loved.
Tonight it had been unavoidable though. Rick and Michonne were dealing with an incident with some walkers outside of the gates, Carl was spending the night with new found friends and Daryl had just returned a few hours earlier from a run and had went to bed, needing the rest. That left Carol to care for Judith.
She arrived at Judith's room and paused, taking a steadying breath, readying herself, preparing her heart. It was then she registered the silence, only the songs of tree frogs outside echoed down the hall. Judith must have fallen back to sleep.
She heard low mumbling come from the room and her heart dropped, all of her senses on high alert, now completely awake. Judith wasn't alone. She reached for her knife and silently cursed when her hand came up empty. What the hell had she been thinking? She should never let her guard down and be caught without a weapon. She should always be prepared.
She slowly leaned her head forward, peeking into the room and the tension drained completely from her body.
Daryl. He stood holding Judith, her head resting on his shoulder and his nose nuzzling her chubby cheek as he whispered soft assurances into her ear. Judith's small fingers curled in Daryl's hair and she giggled softly when Daryl tickled her side. Carol had never seen Daryl so relaxed. Gone were his torn jeans and his angel-winged vest, in their place were a pair of green checkered pajama bottoms and a plain navy t-shirt. His body swayed back and forth, rocking the little girl, sharing their own private dance. He was a complete natural.
Her heart clenched and it felt like it was swelling, aching with regret, and with want, and with so much love she could hardly stand it. She took a step back needing to remove herself from the intense feelings that were consuming her, the strength of them so overwhelming it terrified her.
The floor creaked with her movement and Daryl's head snapped up, his eyes locking with hers. Relief flooded his expression and his gaze softened, a small grin lighting up his face making her heart flutter.
"Hey," he drawled quietly.
"Hi," she whispered, the corners of her mouth lifting.
Judith's head popped up and quickly turned towards the door. A sleepy smile spread across her face and her eyes danced with delight. She stretched out her arms, reaching out to Carol.
"Ca-wo," her soft voice floated across the room.
Unbidden tears came to Carol's eyes, her walls starting to crumble at the sight of the cherubic face.
"Ca-wo," Judith tried again, her tiny fingers wiggling, almost like she was entrancing her with some magical pull. Perhaps she was, Carol mused.
"Come on Ca-wo," Daryl's voice rumbled, drawing her gaze to him like a moth to a flame. His eyes simmered, dark and inviting, "Dance with us."
Unable to resist the two faces that she cared for, loved, most in this world, she walked across the plush floor accepting the squirmy girl in her embrace. Judith's arms instantly wrapped around Carol, her face burrowing against her neck. Carol brushed her lips along the baby's temple breathing in her scent. She smelt just like Sophia used to, a mixture of powder and uniquely baby. As Judith mumbled 'Ca-wo' sleepily into her neck she found that that smell, that the emotions she felt, didn't quite sting like they had in the past.
Her breath caught when she felt Daryl's hand rest on her waist. He stepped closer, his cheek ghosting against hers, "Was hopin' we wouldn't wake ya," he quietly muttered into her ear.
"You're the one that should be sleeping, you just got back." Her shaky voice betrayed the mask of calm she was trying to present with him being so close.
"Wasn't tired, 'sides seein' Lil' Ass-kicker helps settle me." The sincerity and emotion behind the statement caused her heart to surge with love and she leaned in to press her lips to his. He hummed in surprise but as she retreated he pulled her back deepening their connection with a practised ease that had her heart picking up speed.
For the next several moments the three of them stood wrapped around one another slowly swaying to the music of the night.
Once Judith had fallen asleep once more, Carol and Daryl walked down the hall together, the tension simmering between them, growing stronger as they neared her bedroom. They reached the door and exchanged a few quick, shy glances. Want stirred inside her. It had been flourishing for weeks now. She had only ever been with two men, Bobby Reinhardt, her high-school sweetheart, and Ed. The former had been a summer of innocence and curiosity and the latter...the latter had turned out to be torture and destruction. Her entire relationship with Daryl was something else entirely, it made her feel things differently. She was more at ease and felt more cherished than she had ever felt before.
She cleared her throat, "It's...pretty late."
"Yeah." Daryl's sock covered toes twisted in the carpet, eyes fixed on his moving foot, his whole demeanour showcasing his anxiety.
"Do you want to come in?" The words slipped out of her mouth before she could fully realize the monumental question she had just posed. The meaning was clear and her face flushed with embarrassment. She had told herself that she would let Daryl lead on this and here she was practically throwing herself at him.
"Oh God – I didn't mean – You don't have to – I -"
"I wanna." His two words silenced her rambling and the intensity of his stare had her knees feeling weak. This was happening.
She wasn't sure how she had managed to walk, her legs were trembling and her heart felt like it was going to leap right out of her chest, it was almost painful in its rhythm. When she reached her bed she sat down to prevent herself from falling over. She fidgeted with her pajama pants, smoothing the non-existent wrinkles out of them. She used the moment to focus on breathing, attempting to calm down before her gaze found Daryl's once more. She noticed that he hadn't followed her to the bed. He stood awkwardly by the door staring at her, his expression a mirror of her own, anxious, uncertain and full of desire. Her heart skipped and her nerves settled somewhat knowing she wasn't alone in what she was feeling.
She gestured to the bed, "Do you want to sit?"
His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed and he nodded his head. It felt like he approached her in slow motion, with each step closer her arousal stirred. For the longest time she tried not to dwell on it, but Daryl Dixon was a very sexy man and he wasn't even aware of it, which made him even sexier. The bed shifted as he sat next to her. Close but not touching. She ached to touch him. His leg bounced causing the entire bed to shake, she reached out and placed her hand on his knee causing him to jump, like her touch had electrified him. His leg stilled and his gaze locked in on her hand.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to," she quietly assured him.
He looked at her then and she fought back a gasp. His expression was haunted, the demons of his own past pushing to the surface.
"I don't wanna hurt ya."
Tears welled in her eyes. To have someone care about her and be that worried about her well being, was hard to wrap her brain around. She grabbed his hand and brushed her lips across his knuckles. "You couldn't," she whispered.
His eyes closed and he leaned his head on her shoulder, she shivered when his lips pressed against her bare skin, his pinkie lightly stroking her wrist.
With a boldness that surprised her, she pulled back from him and lifted her tank top over her head leaving herself bare from the waist up.
Daryl visibly swallowed, his gaze dark and hungry, his eyes feasting on her breasts.
There were many times over the last couple of years where Daryl could have seen her naked, the close quarters they shared often forced the issue, but in those times it held an air of modesty. This was the first time her nakedness had been done with intention, done solely for the purpose to be intimate with Daryl. She couldn't help but wonder what he thought of her body. This was the most fit she had been in her entire life and having access to regular meals had filled her in once more. Her breasts were far from the size of those models in the magazines that Ed kept stashed under their bed but they had always suited her just fine. In a brief moment of self-consciousness she fretted over whether they were good enough.
Her breath hitched and the worry floated away as Daryl's finger gently grazed the underside of her breast, his eyes lingering on the burn mark that marred her skin there.
"Showed too much cleavage at a dinner with Ed's boss. Ed was teaching me a lesson about vanity."
Daryl growled low in his throat, his eyes flashing in anger. She threaded her fingers in his hair, lightly massaging his scalp.
"He can't hurt me anymore," she softly reassured him. And it was true. Ed couldn't hurt her anymore. Not physically and not emotionally. The nightmares that featured him had stopped a long time ago. Daryl had shown her what true love was supposed to look like and he had made her feel worthy of it.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the scar. Her eyes drifted close as he lingered, his nose nuzzling the side of her breast. Her breathing grew erratic as his mouth trailed upward, his movement was shy and tentative but it had her pulse racing. His tongue flicked over her nipple before his mouth took control, sucking and kissing. He palmed her other breast, his calloused hands on her sensitive skin had her writhing in pleasure. Her head fell back and she couldn't help the moan that passed through her lips, the sensations that were coursing through her body were foreign to her, it had been so long. She grabbed the loose bedsheets, her grip tightening as Daryl's mouth switched to her other breast. Her hand curled in his hair, pushing his head closer to her, urging his explorations.
Finally his touch, the pleasures that he was producing, became too much and she tugged at his hair, pulling him up to her. He came willingly, their lips meeting in a sloppy, needy kiss, their hands groping, like two teenagers that had just discovered sex.
The need to feel his skin against hers became unbearable. She grabbed the bottom of his t-shirt to aid in getting it off of his body. Daryl broke the kiss and his hands enclosed around hers, stopping her movement. She looked at him questioningly, their breaths heavy, mingling together in the small space between them. He looked ashamed and it hit her immediately, his scars. For as long as she had known him, Daryl had always made sure he was never without a shirt covering his back. The only time she could recall seeing him without one, was that time when he was injured at the farm.
She leaned in and kissed the side of his mouth, "We can leave it."
She understood the shame that accompanied scars and bruises that had been left on your skin by those who were supposed to love you. She would wait for as long as he needed to grow comfortable with sharing them with her.
Their eyes remained locked and Carol focused all her energy on showing him exactly how she felt through her gaze. His expression changed and her heart began that familiar flutter while she watched him discard his shirt, throwing it onto the floor to rest beside hers. He was a sight to behold, broad shoulders, defined abs, chest hair that had only been teased when he walked around in the heat with his top buttons undone. She reached out to touch him, moving slowly, giving him enough time to stop her if he needed.
His chest was warm and smooth and she could feel the steady pounding of his heart as her fingers danced over his skin. Her hand slid downwards, trailing over his abs, her thumb caressing his belly button. She felt him shiver and she watched mesmerized as goose pimples appeared on his skin in her hands wake. In her explorations, she noticed three or four scars on his chest but her eyes locked on one in particular that had her heart spinning.
Her fingertips tenderly coasted around the edges of the scar on his lower abdomen where the arrow had pierced through his skin. Clear evidence of the lengths he had gone to in searching for her baby girl.
Her chest tighten and she was consumed with love for him, for the man he had been then and for the man he was now. 'I love you' hovered at the end of her tongue. Her heart screamed at her to tell him but her mind warned her that he may not be ready so she swallowed the urge, burying it in the pile of things left unsaid.
She lowered her head and placed a kiss over the scar, vowing to herself that she would show Daryl with her actions how she felt, how much she loved him They had never needed words to communicate before.
His breath hitched when her lips made contact with his skin and he breathed her name, whispering it like it was a prayer.
He urged her back to him, their lips meeting once again, fervently, the rest of their clothes disappearing in a haze of passion. He pushed her back on the bed, his body hovering over hers. He stared at her, his gaze searing and intense.
"Yer beautiful," he muttered, his voice husky with arousal.
Carol surged forward and kissed him hungrily, pulling him back down with her. His lips moved to the hollow of her neck and she whimpered when his teeth nipped at her skin there, immediately licking to soothe the sting. It would for sure leave a mark and Carol found the very notion of being marked by Daryl extremely thrilling. Her head lolled to the side to grant him better access. She swallowed down a moan when his tongue slid up her neck and his teeth scraped against her ear, his mouth trailing along her jawline, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses.
Her hands wanted to be everywhere, she slid them through his hair, down his back and over his ass, etching every inch of his skin into her memory. The evidence of how much he wanted her was pressed against her thigh and heat pooled between her legs with the knowledge of how this was effecting him. The pressure that had built had become almost unbearable, she arched her back, lifting her hips, grinding against his leg. She moaned, low and hoarse, as pleasure flowed through her, her entire body crackling with desire. Daryl answered her moan with one of his own, grinding his erection against her leg, his mouth crashing back to hers.
She reached out wanting to hold him, wanting to elicit the same pleasure that he had been bestowing upon her. Her thumb grazed his tip and he choked out a groan. She gasped, surprised when he pulled back, his lips breaking from hers and his hands roughly grasping her wrists.
She laid there paralyzed, her eyes wide, afraid. She must have screwed up, done something wrong. She was so stupid. Daryl didn't want her touching him in that way. Memories of Ed berating her and her lack of skills in the bedroom bombarded her and her body tensed on instinct, waiting for the strike. She knew Daryl would never hurt her in that way but old habits had a way of sneaking up on her. It seemed that perhaps Ed did still have the capability to cause her pain.
Daryl must have sensed her apprehension and he immediately let go of her wrists and his finger grazed her cheek.
"If you do that, I ain't goin' last long," he mumbled, his chest still heaving.
His lips grazed along her collarbone but her body betrayed her by not reacting to his touch. The damage had been done, she had clammed up. Her own insecurities from Ed's years of demeaning words and actions acting as her enemy.
Frustrated tears sprung to her eyes, "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice catching.
"Hey," Daryl held her chin and gently turned her to look at him. "We don't have t'do anything you don't wanna," he said, repeating her words back to her from earlier.
She shook her head, "I want to – so much," she felt the need to explain, "I just haven't since Ed and that was never -" her words died off, not wanting to spend anytime lost in those memories.
Daryl leaned down, catching her gaze once more, "I ain't ever done this with someone who mattered to me b'fore, someone I -" he swallowed, his eyes darting away from her and then returning, "someone I gave a shit about. I never felt good 'bout myself after those times and those - broads never had anything good to say 'bout me after either."
Carol desperately wanted to interrupt, tell him again what a good man he was, the need to comfort him always a priority, but she bit her lip allowing him the space to share his feelings. It was something that was so rare to begin with.
"Me 'n' you – this – it's d'ffer'nt an'" he took a deep breath, "it fuckin' scares the shit out of me but I wanna," he squinted, attempting to find the right words it seemed, "I wanna take care of ya."
Carol cleared her throat, attempting to ward off the fresh tears. Intimacy, especially between that of lovers, was not something to which they were accustomed. It was going to take time for them to move on from the scars of the past, to fully realize that someone could...did...love them so unconditionally. They had already come so far.
"I wanna make ya feel good," Daryl muttered. He was so earnest and her heart swelled at his eagerness to please her, she'd never had that before. "An' at anytime ya want me to stop – I will. Will ya let me try?"
She nodded her head and did her best to relax back against the pillows. She could do this, she wanted to do this. His fingers traced up her arm and his lips descended upon hers. The kisses were slow and lazy and she easily got lost in his gentle caresses once more. She hummed and her breath quickened when his fingers slid under her breast. His mouth descended on the other and she groaned as his tongue teased her nipple.
It didn't take long for the familiar ache to return between her legs, want churning in her stomach, Daryl's mouth now latched firmly on her neck doing incredible things. His hand trailed over her breast and down her stomach and she bit her lip in anticipation.
"This alright" his voice was low and she could tell he was not unaffected by the attention he was lavishing on her.
She nodded and let out a breathy 'yes.'
His hand continued on its path, torturing her in its slowness. She itched to grab a hold of him and force him to where she wanted him to be. She shivered and her eyes fluttered shut as his thumb glided over her belly button and she couldn't help her shaky exhale as his fingers slid through her curls. She gasped as his thumb lightly stroked against her clit, a jolt of pleasure ricocheting through her. Daryl's hand froze and she knew he was watching her, concerned if he had gone too far. She leaned forward and pressed a reassuring kiss to his lips. She definitely wanted this to continue, she was craving his touch.
That was the push Daryl needed and his fingers began to explore, his thumb rubbing her clit around and around making her body writhe and her stomach tightened. He was being careful, his touch gentle, the pressure he was applying was light, teasing her. She wanted more. She bucked her hips against his hand causing his thumb to press harder and she choked out a moan from the new wave of sensations she was experiencing. Daryl let out a low groan as he slid a finger through her folds, she was so wet, so ready. He withdrew his finger in an agonizingly slow manner and then added another of his fingers and pushed them back in and then out, over and over, in shallow, leisurely thrusts. She was squirming, her heart pounding in fast, hard beats and her ears buzzed. She moaned his name as he hit a particularly sensitive spot and his mouth latched back onto her neck, his groan making her body tremble.
"Do ya feel good?" He whispered against her ear, his teeth nipping at her earlobe.
"Yes," she hissed, her eyes squeezing shut, the pressure building between her thighs. "Yes," she repeated, nodding her head. She was so close. "Faster," she practically begged, her moan strangled and desperate.
Daryl grunted, clearly aroused, and he picked up the pace. His fingers sliding in and out more quickly, harder, her hips thrusting to match his movements.
His lips were sloppy against her throat, a strangled 'Carol' falling from his mouth pushing her over the edge. Her hips jerked and she cried out, her hands twisting in the bed-sheets in ecstasy, wave after wave of pleasure causing her entire body to shake.
Never had she experienced such tenderness, had someone so focused on making her feel such gratification before. Her lips sought out Daryl, wanting to show him how much it meant to her what he had just done. He had stepped out of his own comfort zone to help her get past her insecurities. He met her eagerly, pulling her close and laying next to him Carol had never felt more at peace.
She laid flat on her back, her breath heavy and her skin slick with sweat, her body humming in the glorious afterglow, recovering from the natural high. The rising sun, filled the room with light. She couldn't remember ever feeling this alive, this good.
She glanced over at Daryl, his chest also rising and falling in rapid succession. Her eyes roamed over his body, the bed sheet had been thrown haphazardly over his mid-section, revealing a very tantalizing V, his sharp muscular curves along with a very clear erection, succeeding in making her heart beat faster once again.
He turned to her, his anxieties clear on his face. "Y'alright?" His voice shook slightly.
"Yes," she nodded, whispering reassuringly, brushing a lock of his hair off of his forehead.
She edged closer to him, forcing eye contact. "I am so more than alright." Their eyes locked and Daryl visibly relaxed.
Her thumb caressed his jawline, his stubble rough on her skin.
Daryl nuzzled her hair, his lips ghosting along her temple.
She turned to meet his lips in a slow, sensual kiss. They took their time, simply enjoying one another. She pulled back, a grin spreading across her face and she moved to straddle him, her hand edging down his chest, closer to the evidence of his arousal.
"I think it's time I repay the favour?"
The corner of his mouth lifted in a lustful smirk and he leaned forward to kiss her again. She didn't think she would ever tire of the feel of her breasts pressed against his bare chest.
"Carol, I'm so sorry to bother you this early, but Harold was – OH MY GOD!"
Carol yelped, flying off of Daryl at the sound of Maggie's voice. She pulled the blankets tightly around her chest, panting from both the activity she had been engaged in with Daryl and being startled.
Maggie stood by the door, turned away from them, her hand covering her eyes and Carol could tell by the wrinkles at her temple that her eyes were also squeezed tightly shut. She kept apologizing repeatedly.
Carol's own eyes closed. Oh God. How embarrassing.
Finally Carol found her voice, "What did you need Maggie?" She was quite pleased at how sturdy and non-pulsed she sounded.
"Harold – he uh, wanted that paperwork on Mrs. Nelson you brought home to finish," Maggie stammered, "She has a follow-up at seven-thirty this morning."
Glancing down at her nakedness Carol knew that she would not be able to retrieve the file without embarrassing herself...and Maggie, further.
"It's in the top drawer of the filing cabinet – by the dresser – If you wouldn't mind getting it."
"Yes – right – of course," Maggie babbled, removing the hand from her eyes and edging along the wall, doing her best to avoid looking at the bed.
Carol glanced at Daryl, who hadn't moved or uttered a single sound since Maggie had interrupted. She had to bite her lip to prevent herself from smiling. He was slouched down in the bed, the bedsheets pulled up over his nose, his ears were the deepest shade of red she had ever seen.
Maggie made it back to the door and quickly glanced their way, "Uh, sorry again, I'll knock louder next time," she said, her accent thick and then a wide smile broke out over her face. "It's about damn time."
"Would ya get the fuck outta here Maggie," Daryl hollered, finally reaching his breaking point.
Maggie laughed, the sound light and airy, full of joy. She threw Carol a saucy wink and closed the door behind her as she left.
"Well...I guess the cat is out of the bag," Carol mused. She didn't find herself upset at that prospect. Everyone knew what Daryl meant to her, now it would just be more official, no more pretending.
Daryl groaned and rolled his face into the pillow, "Glenn's goin' have a fucking field day with this."
Her heart went out to him and she threaded her fingers through his hair, "I'm sorry," she soothed. She hated it when he felt uncomfortable or embarrassed, especially when she was part of the reason.
He shifted until he could comfortably look at her, the obvious sign of his previous state of excitement had vanished due to Maggie's surprise visit. Yet, there was a glimmer in his eyes that told her his interest in continuing in their very adult activities hadn't completely disappeared.
"S'alright," he drawled, his fingers grazing the side of her breast, "Was worth it."
A mischievous grin stretched slowly across his face. "Now what was this 'bout returnin' a favour?"
Carol snorted and leaned in to kiss him and they both jumped when Judith's cries rang out through the baby monitor.
They broke apart and Daryl groaned, realizing that it would be up to him to get himself off that morning.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
"S'alright...I 'cept repayments at anytime."
She smacked his arm as she got out of bed, causing him to chuckle. Next time she would make it up to him because there was definitely going to be a next time and time was something Alexandria now gave them.
As always, I would love to know what you thought.
In the next chapter things are about to take a turn, time is something they may NOT have.
