You Can Never Have Too Many Enemies
A/N: I call Captains by what they usually want others to refer to themselves as. For example, Hitsugaya Toshirou prefers being referred to as Hitsugaya-taichou (formal) whereas someone like Kyoraku Shunsui prefers being referred to as just Shunsui (casual).
Yachiru was waiting for Zaraki when he came back to the camp. Zaraki frowned.
"How did you know I was coming?" he asked.
"Your reiatsu," Yachiru responded. "An academy student could hide his reiatsu better than you."
Zaraki raised an eyebrow. "Why would someone want to hide their reiatsu?"
"You really that stupid?" Yachiru asked, looking at Zaraki as if he had dropped in from Mars. "Know anything about stealth, the element of surprise, any of that stuff?"
"No," Zaraki replied bluntly.
Yachiru sighed. "So," she asked, changing the subject. "How was Hueco Muendo?"
"Some of the best fights I've ever had," he responded. "I really should visit that place more often."
Yachiru abruptly stood up. "I'm going to go meditate," she called out.
"Meditate?" Zaraki asked, incredulous. "Why?"
"To, as my Academy teacher used to say," Yachiru responded, adopting a lower voice. "Further our relationship with our Zanpakuto and to exercise our mind, body, and soul."
Zaraki frowned. "And why…" he asked. "Would you want to do all that crap?"
"The second half is bullshit," she responded. "The first part, however, is actually useful. Shinigami meditate to communicate with our Zanpakuto, to train with them, and to, yes, 'further our relationships' with them."
Zaraki snorted. "Typical Shinigamis," he muttered.
----
"I believe that all the issues concerning the Captains have been addressed," Yamamoto Genryuusai thundered. "Let the Captains meeting adjourn."
As the Gotei 13 Captains filed out, one man with a straw hat hurried to catch up to another man, with long, white hair. At first glance, straw hat would appear to be gay. He was wearing a pink coat with flowers on it, for Kami's sake. However, to those who knew the true Kyoraku Shunsui, he was not gay. He was far from it. He was a despicable womanizer.
However, he was also one of the more seasoned Captains, with a long list of notable accomplishments and several battle scars adorning his body. He was one of the most respected Shinigami in Seireitei.
His companion, Ukitake Jyuushiro, was as respected as he was. While frail, the Captain was an extremely skilled fighter.
Tilting his hat to block out the sun, Shunsui acknowledged his friend with a nod. "So, Juushiro," he said. "What do you think of the new Captain?"
Juushiro narrowed his eyes. "I understand his method of becoming Captain," he said, slowly. "Most 11th Captains got their positions in the same way. What I don't like about him is the way his eyes lit up when we began to discuss funding."
Shunsui nodded. "Well, you know, it wouldn't be the first Captain who craved money a bit too much," he put in.
Juushiro's eyes hardened. "Yes, well," he said. "You remember how the last one turned out."
"Well," Shunsui commented. "You always have to feed beasts once in a while. How is Soukyoku any different?"
Juushiro nodded, conceding his point. "True, true," he said. Suddenly spotting a flash of white, his eyes lit up. "Toushiro!" he called out. "Over here!"
The petite captain walked over. He considered asking, for the umpteenth time, for Juushiro to call him "Histugaya-taichou", or at least "Hitsugaya". After all, he'd only become captain a year ago, and already the 13th division captain was treating him like an old friend, and, even worse, like a child. The shower of sweets almost sickened Hitsugaya. Fortunately, Hinamori was more than willing to lighten his burden.
He respectfully bowed to the two older captains. "Yes, Ukitake-taichou?" he asked.
The senior captain waved his hand dismissively. "There's no need to be that formal, Toshirou-kun," Juushiro chided. Leaning in, he whispered in a conspiring tone "After all, we're both Shiro-chans, aren't we?"
Inside his mind, Hitsugaya's Ice Ring began to laugh. He wouldn't stop for another ten minutes.
Juushiro's face turned serious. "Well, anyways," he said. "What do you make of the new Captain?"
Hitsugaya was taken aback. He was the youngest and freshest Captain in Gotei 13 history, and he already being asked questions directly by two of the most respected Shinigami in Seireitei.
"I-I'm not so sure I'm very well suited to answer that-," Hitsugaya stammered out, until Shunsui interrupted him.
"Well," he said. "I think the reason Juushiro's asking you is because you're a fresh captain. And so is Kenpachi. Compare yourself to him."
Hitsugaya frowned. Come to think of it, he had noticed something rather odd. "Well," he began slowly. "I did notice he seemed a bit too sure of himself for a newly initiated Captain. When I first became Captain, I was rather disoriented. However, Kenpachi seemed very confident, like there was a very specific reason why he was a Captain."
As the three Captains were speculating about the newest Captain, none of them knew exactly how serious the situation really was.
----
Zaraki walked out of the bar, humming.
There was no doubting the evidence. A bald man with considerable fighting skills had been sighted in the 75th. Naturally, the moment the information reached the 80th district Zaraki had been told. He had promised his informant that he could piss him off once, and he wouldn't be killed.
As he walked to the riverbank where their camp was set up, he called out to Yachiru. When she didn't come over, he walked around the camp, frowning.
He found her on the other side of the camp, in deep meditation. He contemplated rudely snapping her out of her trance by kicking her. He found this to be hugely disrespectful, and decided against it.
Zaraki walked inside the camp, brought out a frying pan, and slammed her halfway across the district. "Idiotic meditation," he muttered. "Can't she at least spar or something?"
A couple seconds later, Yachiru managed to halt her trajectory, and shunpoed back to Zaraki. Drawing her sword, she rocketed towards Zaraki, hissing "Fucker."
The epic battle could be heard all around Zaraki as Demon attempted to defend himself with a frying pan from a crazed Shinigami.
"Zaraki, you bastard," seethed Yachiru, as she blasted Zaraki backwards with her Zanpakuto's effect. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! I WAS SO CLOSE TO MATERIALIZATION!"
Zaraki ignored her Shinigami/Zanpakuto bond of trust bullshit. Deciding to end the fight, he maxed out his reiatsu, blasting Yachiru backwards.
Zaraki quickly ran over to the crater. "Now that you're all calmed down and immobilized," he said. "I've found out where Ryuuken is."
----
The 75th district was not proud of its own "Devil". His power rivaled that of Demon, from Zaraki. All he did was sit in a clearing and wait for the next person to walk into it. If someone did walk into the kilometer radius that made up his territory, he would consider it as a challenge. The first few unfortunate farmers that had walked into it had managed to escape, albeit with several cuts. After the news had spread around the district, bandits began to show up. After about three days, they stopped. The 75th enjoyed a sudden drop in petty crimes.
That was when the problems began. Obviously bored, Devil had begun to take to drinking. He would waltz into the local bar, and begin ordering sake. He continued ordering sake for the better part of the afternoon, even when he ran out of money. All bars in the 75th had immediately acquiesced to his request for a personal drinking account. Devil's account was bottomless, and he ordered sake for the entire bar. The bartender had no choice but to comply with his demands. Eventually, somebody got so drunk that they would stand up and make a mildly offensive comment towards Devil. This usually resulted in the destruction of the bar and the immediate hospitalization of the majority of its occupants.
So, when Demon strolled into the 75th, its inhabitants rejoiced. While violent, they were not as thuggish as the 80th, and Devil's disrupting presence was not as welcome as it would have been in a place like Zaraki. They welcomed the prospect of one monster dueling another. Devil was renowned for battling to the death, so one of the monsters was bound to be killed. If they struck gold, they might kill each other.
----
"Ikkaku…," Devil's companion whined. He was tugging on his friend's arm in a very intimate fashion. His partner thought that he was gay. Most people did. "It's soooo borrringg…. And even worse, everybody's here is soooo uggllly…."
Ikkaku hit Yumichika on the head. "Don't worry, Yumi," he said. "I gotta feeling today's going to be a blast. Now go get some more booze. I think the local bars are scared of me."
"The people there are ugly also."
"Just go, you prick," Ikkaku replied.
----
Zaraki had not been expecting any sort of welcome, let alone a fanfare as he walked into the 75th district. However, it was apparent that the citizens clearly objected to Ryuuken's presence inside their District. Zaraki mentally shrugged. His District had done it for years without any significant complaint. What pansys.
Yachiru had followed him along. He made no attempt to dissuade her. Ryuuken had, after all, killed one of her closest friends.
Ducking into the nearest bar to ask for directions, he was met by a sudden flurry of weapons. However, the bars occupants quickly noticed that the newcomer was not Devil, and laid down their arms. Zaraki couldn't help but let a wave of disappointment wash over him. However, he consoled himself with the fact that the fight of his life was soon to be on his hands.
"Where's Devil?" he shouted out. He had heard of Ryuuken's adopted name in this district from listening in on the locals.
After getting directions, he went back outside, where Yachiru had stayed. She avoided going into bars whenever she could. She said it was an inbred instinct that was in all women who had been in the 8th division. Zaraki had heard the stories about her captain.
Half an hour later, he strode into Ryuuken's clearing. He took one look at the man in the center of it and walked right back out, shouting obscenities left and right as he went. He couldn't believe his luck.
It wasn't Ryuuken. It wasn't fucking Ryuuken. IT WASN'T FUCKING RYUUKEN!!!! Exactly how shitty could his luck get? How many bald guys with moderately good fighting skills can exist in this world?
He was interrupted from his thoughts by a spike of reiatsu. He turned, surprised, to Yachiru, who had, in turn, turned in surprise to him. It wasn't either of their reiatsus. It wasn't weak, but not incredibly strong. Zaraki smiled. At least there was compensation. Sensing the killer intent emanating from his opponent, Zaraki turned around, and released some of his own reiatsu.
The bald man was grinning as well. "You know," he said. "It's considered impolite to turn your back on your opponent, especially after you've challenged them to a duel. What's your name?"
Zaraki grinned. He liked this guy. "Zaraki," he responded. "And yours?"
"Ikkaku Madarame." And with that, Ikkaku charged Zaraki.
Ikkaku's sword cut upwards, aiming for Zaraki's chest. Catching the sword with his left hand, Zaraki ignored the pain and slashed his own sword downwards. It was blocked by Ikkaku's hilt, and both men were sent skidding backwards.
Zaraki didn't' give Ikkaku much time to recover. A maniacal grin on his face, Zaraki rocketed forward, his sword at his side. Just as he was about to crash into Ikkaku, Zaraki raised his sword, pointing it straight at Ikkaku's chest.
Zaraki's opponent managed to deflect his thrust just in time. However, he didn't notice Zaraki's foot, speeding towards his head.
The kick knocked Ikkaku back several yards. However, he managed to roll into a less-than-graceful, although not bone-shattering fall. When the dust cleared, Zaraki could see that he was still grinning. Neither of the two combatants were perturbed by the other's joy. Finally, they both had someone that shared their love of combat.
Ikkaku used Shunpo to quickly close the distance between them. The battle raged on, both of the fighters relying on their instincts, their strength, and their bloodlust alone. Yachiru, standing at the edge of the clearing, looked on in awe.
Finally, Zaraki slipped up. Basking in the glory of battle, he let his reiatsu slip up another notch.
When his sword crashed into Ikkaku's, the blade shattered. Ikkaku stumbled to the ground. The grin had now left his face, and his expression was one of shock. "What… the hell…"
Ikkaku quickly got over his shock. "Well," he barked. "What are you waiting for? Do it!"
Zaraki did not look pleased. He would have to learn to control his reiatsu better. Maybe Yachiru had a point with her reiatsu-concealment training. Disgruntled, Zaraki sheathed his sword. "Damn," he muttered.
His broken opponent was enraged. "What the hell!" he screamed. "Why won't you kill me?!"
Zaraki chuckled. "Frankly, I'm not very obliged to," he responded. "You've been defeated already."
"I've lost the battle," Ikkaku spat. "You win, and your trophy is my life!"
Suddenly, Ikkaku found himself being grabbed by the collar and hoisted into the air. "Yeah?" Zaraki breathed. "Why do you wish for death to come?"
"I lost my honor when I lost to you."
"Bullshit," Zaraki hissed. "You were holding back, I could tell. Both of us know that. And if you lost your honor when you lost to me, take it back. Live, train, and fight! Surpass me!" He dropped Ikkaku. "I dare you."
Ikkaku got to his feet, slowly. He shakily nodded his head. A new fire burned in his eyes.
"This man is strong," he thought. "One day…"
-----
"Oi, Ikkaku!" Yumichika shouted. "I've got your booze!"
"Eh?" Ikkaku muttered, turning his head. "Oh, it's you."
"Who's he?" Zaraki inquired.
Ikkaku was tempted to say "a Gaylord" but bit his tongue. "A friend."
Yumichika scanned the scene. A tall man with long, black hair was obviously Ikkaku's challenger, but it didn't look like they were fighting. Why neither one of the two fighters was lying on the ground, dead, was a mystery to him.
Then his eyes fell upon her. His jaw dropped. His heart beat faster and faster. (I would put something else in here, but this is rated T. Sorry, perverts.)
Then Yachiru noticed him. Gasping, she quickly ran over to Zaraki. "Hey, Zaraki," she shouted, dragging him over. She pointed to Yumichika. "See that guy over there? He was one of Ryuuken's… best friends. They were as tight as ever. See?"
Ikkaku looked puzzled. "Who is…"
Crack.
"OH MY GOD!!!!" Ikkaku ran over to Yachiru. "Jesus Christ woman, make your friend stop!"
Yachiru's eyes were steely. "We know each other. Our last meeting was not very pleasant. That man is an enemy of woman."
"What the hell?!!!!" Ikkaku screamed. "Yumi's fucking gay!!!!"
Yachiru still showed no signs of compassion. "A defense mechanism," she explained. "He's never suspected of being a womanizer."
Ikkaku gasped. "What? I never knew…"
Snap.
"AAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T' KNOW ANYTHING. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU???!!!!"
Zaraki chuckled. "You're a pretty hard nut to crack, aren't you?" he mused. "Most people would have gone insane by now." He didn't notice Yumichika's hand.
Crunch.
This time it was Zaraki who doubled over in pain. "You bastard…" he seethed. Yumichika made a break for it. Zaraki drew his sword.
"Oh God," Yachiru breathed. "Oi, Zaraki! I was just lying to make you beat him up! He was just trying to hit on me!"
The next instant, Yachiru knew she had said the worst words possible. A killer aura lit up Zaraki's body. He turned to Yumichika, who had turned pale. "Oh," he breathed. "Really?"
Yumichika then decided to play dead. He failed miserably.
The screams were heard all around Soul Society. Yachiru covered her face in her hands.
-----
3 Years Later, After Yumichika Regains the Ability of Speech
Zaraki would drop by every now and then, and he and Ikkaku would go and have a drink. Ikkaku wasn't pissed off at Zaraki for severely traumatizing his friend. He knew that Yumi was a tough nut, and would recover.
The locals, however, were less than pleased about the new friendship. They were terrified. Two men with the power to destroy their entire district without breaking a sweat were friends. Friends.
"So," Zaraki said, looking at Yumichika. "You two were once friends?"
Yumichika smiled weakly. He turned to Ikkaku. "Hey, Ikkaku, remember that killer party that Shunsui threw once?"
Ikkaku nodded slowly. "Ya…"
"Well, remember how you left with Renji and Matsumoto?"
Ikkaku blushed. None of his friends noticed.
"Well, anyways, after you left, I heard this girl's voice coming from Shunsui's office. It wasn't his stick-up-the ass lieutenant, so I figured that this woman would be equally stick-up-the ass, and therefore boring and ugly."
Zaraki groaned. He could see where this story was heading.
Yumichika's eyes lit up. "She was an angel," he breathed.
Yachiru entered the tent. "Yes, and she's also going to beat you to a pulp."
Read and Review, please. Thanks to Thief of Black Winged Hearts, SithKnight-Galen, and Nanahsi-Okita for reviewing.
