Chapter 6 Being a Girl

Hi guys :) I'm quickly going to post this AN because I've got to go do some work but I had to update because it's been a week! Anyway I was very happy with the reviews! Thanks to Little Miss Scandalous, Wejs and GaloRoots! And J.F.C, I have acknowledged your review but I won't be changing much… Thanks anyway! :)

Oh and thanks to GaloRoots, 80 points to Slytherin! 20 points per review!

Anyway on with the chapter…

DICLAIMER: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, if it did, Harry and Draco would have ended up together. It all belongs to the intelligent Joanna Kathleen Rowling!

WARNINGS: This is a slash story and contains adult content!


Chapter 6

"Sasha! Sasha! Wait up!" Sasha bit her lip as she recognized the voice as Draco's but stopped.

"What Draco?" she sighed facing him. He didn't say anything so she spoke again. "What's up?" Sasha noted he had bags under his eyes and he looked like he was dying, she felt guilty so she avoided looking him in the eyes.

"Nothing." he said and walked off. Sasha half ran back to her rooms. However all of a sudden, she felt her stomach cramp up. She gasped in pain. What was happening? She ran to the toilets and groaned. She was on her periods! Ew! She didn't even know what to do. She grabbed the tampons that had appeared the day before and followed the instructions cringing as she put the thing in herself. That problem was now solved but the pain wasn't going.

"Hey?" she heard Blaise's voice call.

"I can't do this Blaise!" she yelled storming out the bathroom.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Firstly, trying to keep my distance from Draco! He looked horrible this morning! I can't keep trying to back off. Secondly, being a girl! I'm on my periods!" she huffed. Blaise suddenly burst into hysterical laughter and Sasha found herself wanting to hex the other boy's balls off. "I'm going to go find Hermione, she'll probably be in the library." she growled. So she began her long trek to the library.

"Sasha!" She turned and saw Hermione, Ginny and Luna. Sasha almost ran to the four.

"Thank god you're here!" she exclaimed.

"What's up?"

"Really bad period pains, do you guys have good ways to get rid of bad ones?" she asked blushing a little. Hermione smiled and took out a vial from her bag.

"Here, try this. Madame Pomfrey gave me this last month and it worked well!" Sasha swallowed the contents down and grimaced at the taste. However, a moment later the pain was gone and Sasha didn't feel the uncomfortable and damp feeling down there. (I wish something like that existed -.- )

"Thanks Mione! I am forever grateful!" she smiled.

"So then Sasha!" Ginny began. "You know I still find it weird that I'm conversing with a Slytherin." Sasha chuckled.

"We aren't that bad!" she pouted.

"How's Dragon?" Luna suddenly asked. Sasha stared in confusion.

"Umm... You mean Draco?" she asked. Luna nodded.

"Umm, fine I guess..." she lied.

"Are you dating Malfoy?" Ginny gasped.

"No! Nothing like that we're just friends." Sasha groaned.

"He didn't look fine at breakfast..." Hermione spoke.

"What happened between you both?" Ginny grinned. Everyone was asking questions and Sasha was getting irritated. She didn't want to talk about Draco!

"Can you drop it?" she snarled. Everyone went silence. "I'm sorry I just..."

"Portte!" said a voice from behind Sasha. She groaned before turning. That was Draco's voice. She turned and looked at him. "Come with me." he said grabbing her wrist. She sighed as they walked silently till they got to the head boy and girl rooms. They stood in silence. Sasha got fed up so she began to walk off when a voice made her stop "Why are you being like this? We were fine yesterday!"

"Draco... I'm sorry it's just I was wrong. We shouldn't be friends. You haven't done anything wrong it's just that I've been selfish and I know if we get too close I will hurt you in the end." Draco looked like he was fighting back tears and Sasha did not want to look at his face, but she couldn't find the strength to turn away.

"But Sash... I... I'm falling in love with you..." he whispered. Sasha felt tears stream down her face. She cupped Draco's cheek.

"I know Draco and you have to let me go. This could never work." she wrapped her arms around his waist in an embrace.

"But I know. I know about you!" Sasha froze and released Draco.

"You know?"

"Yes." Sasha's heart was beating fast. If Draco knew, it would be ok! They could possibly still be together!

"Know what?"

"That you love me too." Sasha let out a sob.

"Oh Draco. I do love you. I love you so freaking much that it is not going to work. I don't want to hurt you."

"You already have." he spat and walked off. Sasha sat there crying for what felt like years. She lay there telling herself that she'd just lost the one person she had ever loved. It could have worked couldn't it? She could have told Draco and he could have accepted. She felt Blaise's arms wrap around her and she cried her heart out in them.

"Blaise I... I love him." she sobbed.

"I'm sorry Sasha... I'm so so so sorry." he whispered into her ear.

XxxX

The next few weeks zoomed by, Sasha, Blaise and Draco remained quiet and depressed. When Halloween rolled around though... It lightened the mood slightly. Every Slytherin had picked out their outfit and were entering the common room. Sasha immediately spotted her Aladdin and groaned when she found it was Draco. She walked over and sat next to him on the couch. Neither said anything.

"H...how are you?" Draco asked.

"I'm coping. How about you?"

"Bad."

"I'm sorry..."

"No you're not."

"I am."

"I know."

"Let's get drunk."

"The first decent thing you've said in a while." Sasha gave Draco and apologetic look but he seemed not to notice so they both walked to the bar and began drinking.

"Th... This is theee worst party eveeer!" babbled Sasha.

"Woah Sasha take it easy!" Sasha turned to see Blaise in his goldilocks outfit.

"Goor 'way Blaise."

"Yes Blaise... Leave heeer alowwne. Shis my princesssss." Draco slurred.

"Errm ok? Bye then." Blaise said feeling awkward.

"Draaaaycoo I missted you!"

"I missed you tooooo Sahsa." Sasha giggled.

"That's not my name! My name is Sash... Wait thas not it either..." She looked at Draco confusedly. Draco leaned in and kissed her lips slobbery. They both ran their tongues together. A few moments later found them in Draco's head boy rooms Draco was on top of Sasha. He was pressing wet slobbery kisses down the girl's neck. He pulled off her top. "mmmmm Draco." she moaned. She leaned to unbutton Draco's top and he grinned clumsily for a moment but it then turned into a frown and he yanked Sasha's arms off himself.

"Not the shirt." she began tugging at the blonde boys trousers and removed them successfully. Now a topless Sasha and trouser-less Draco were kissing and groping each other. Sasha put her hand on Draco's bulge and began rubbing through his silk boxers.

"Mmm." sighed Draco sleepily. Suddenly Sasha let out a long yawn and fell on top of Draco in exhaustion.

"I love you H...Sasha." Draco said and was too boggled out to think of why he had almost slipped.

XxxX

"Urghh..." Sasha groaned. She felt her head pounding. She opened her eyes and found her head on a clothed chest. She snapped her head up and realised she was almost naked. She sat up and her eyes widened as felt something hard. She looked down and saw Draco underneath her and she was sat on his clothed erection. He began waking.

"Huh?" he looked up and his eyes widened at the sight. Sasha jumped and grabbed the duvet covering herself.

"What?!" she was blushing. Draco got up and put his trousers on. She then groaned as she felt a headache coming on.

"Forget anything ever happened!" she squeaked and ran out of the room leaving a hurt Draco behind. He stepped to the draw and pulled out a knife and looked at it.

"It's good to have you back." he said to the knife bitterly and placed it against his ivory skin. He thought of the rejection he was feeling and put pressure on the knife and winced as the blade cut through his perfect skin. The door suddenly opened and Sasha stood the blushing looking down. "My clothes..." she mumbled then looked up and gasped."Draco!" she ran over almost tripping over the duvet that she covered herself with and began healing him with healing spells.

"Draco... Why? How could you do this?"

"I... I can't stop. It hurts."

"I shouldn't have left you!" she cried.

"No Sasha I did it before then as well. When she died... It hurt too much."

"Oh Draco!" she cried and hugged him. "I know of potions that stops this... Is that why you didn't want to take off your shirt last night?" Draco didn't say anything.

"Nothing happened last night." he said and Sasha nodded in a mutual agreement to forget it. They sat there in silence.

"Will you talk to me about this?" she asked. Draco shook his head. "Please?" she begged. Draco sighed.

"I can control myself but sometimes I just- I just, want to... I guess. I do it when I think of..." he trailed off.

"It's ok... I'll help you get through this." she smiled.

"So does this mean we can be friends again. This hasn't really got us anywhere."

"I was thinking the same thing. I still meant what I said before... I'm not good for you and I'll hurt you but we can stick to friends. How about it?" she smiled. Draco leaned over and hugged her.

"Maybe you should get dressed." he grinned. Sasha blushed and began getting changed noticing Draco had looked away. Together they walked to Potions and Sasha was feeling happy for the first time she sat at the back of the class and began listening to Snape's lecture. She stared at the professor not taking in any word and suddenly felt herself become depressed, sad, alone, scared, disappointed and most of all ashamed. Was that what he was feeling? Then Sasha remembered. Her potions professor had been strange all year. He had been harsher to the students even Slytherins. He seemed older, wary and weaker. What had happened? Was it because of Voldemort's disappearance? Sasha's eyes widened as she realised Snape was gazing intently at her. She snapped he eyes away and began taking notes. At the end of the lesson Snape dismissed everyone apart from Sasha. She groaned.

"Hi sir?"

"You broke into my thoughts!" he snapped.

"I didn't!"

"You reading my emotions is the same as breaking into my thoughts you insolent brat!" he said through gritted teeth.

"I...I'm really sorry sir... I didn't know!"

"You know that is an illegal thing to do Miss Portte!" he snapped with utmost loathing.

"Why do you hate me professor? Ever since I got here you've given nothing but hatred. I haven't done anything to you..."

"It's your attitude that I hate!"

"Why do you feel ashamed sir? I've heard about you and your a brave man. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You don't need to show hatred either." Snape's grip relaxed slickly and his face softened. He let go and walked away from Sasha.

"I failed someone and... I can't redeem myself." he said quietly.

"I'm sorry sir. But I think you can." she knew she had pushed it as soon as the words tumbled out he mouth.

"Leave."

"Yes sir."

"Miss Portte... I do apologise. I don't hate you. You have the eyes of the person I failed. It doesn't help." he spoke thickly. Sasha nodded and left the dungeons feeling down.

XxxX

"You're been silly Sash!" Draco drawled.

"Stop drawling!"

"I don't drawl!"

"Yes you do!" said three voices. Sasha and Draco turned to see Hermione and Ron stood there.

"Ferret." said Ron.

"Weasel... Mudblood." he sneered.

"Why you little shit!" yelled Ron. Sasha and Hermione grabbed ahold of Ron.

"Ahhh how's life without Scarhead? I am particularly enjoying it... Although there is no one to taunt about their freakish glasses or their lame insults. What was his famous line? Oh yeah... 'shove off Malfoy'" Draco mimicked. Sasha gasped. Ron turned red and ready to blow but Hermione beat him to it. She shoved Malfoy up against the wall.

"WHAT did I say about you mentioning Harry this year? You are a fucking heartless prick and you should deserve to ROT in Azkaban if not HELL." and with that she threw a punch at Draco's facing causing a crunch.

"Draco! Hermione!" Sasha exclaimed he ran to Draco's aid. Hermione sniffed and began to walk off. However she stopped and turned.

"We just came to mention that although we hated to admit it... We were glad you and Malfoy were friends again. You're moping was becoming depressing. But now I'm wondering how you can be friends with such a... Malfoy!" she spat.

"Hermione..." Sasha began.

"Leave it." began Ron. "You're a Slytherin and we're Gryffindors, this friendship wouldn't have ever worked." with that, the two of the remaining golden trio, were gone. Sasha felt her heart shatter. She turned to Draco and wanted nothing more than to punch him again.

"you are a cruel boy Draco Malfoy." she hissed and walked off. Draco groaned as rubbed his face. He began his painful trek to the infirmary and didn't bother explaining what had happened. When he walked in to his head boy and girl rooms, he saw Blaise sat with Sasha, her head rested on his chest and his hand around her waist. Neither were speaking they were just staring solemnly at the ground. When they heard Draco they both looked up and he walked off.

XxxX

Sasha had stormed into the head boy girl rooms with tears in her eyes.

"Hey hey hey Sasha!" she turned to se Blaise on the sofa. She let out a sob and he walked over and enveloped her in a huge embrace and let her cry in his shoulder. He led her to the sofa to let her explain.

"He was so happy that Harry's dead... He enjoys it! He admitted it! It hurt when he said that Blaise. I love him and he would never love me! What will happen when he finds out who I am? I thought he was different..." she sobbed. They both sat in silence until the door opened. They looked up to see Draco stood there. He observed the scene then walked into his room.

XxxX

Sasha woke up the next morning to knocking on her door. "Urghh what?"

"Can I come in?" said the voice that Sasha instantly recognised.

"What do you want Malfoy!"

"To apologise..." Sasha sighed and grumbled. Draco stepped in and sat on her bed. He had a wrapped present in his hand. "I really am sorry Sasha... I didn't know Mu... Granger and Weasley would do that and..."

"Do you really think that's what I'm upset about?"

"Then what?"

"Harry Potter... You had the guts to disrespect him in front o his friends... I knew Harry..."

"Really?" he asked a little to eagerly.

"Yes... Harry did have a life outside Hogwarts..." she said.

"I know and I shouldn't have said those things... I just... Hadn't got Weasley and Granger angry for a while..." he admitted lamely.

"So that's why you said those things?"

"Yeah... It's just not been normal without H... Potter so I needed to feel normal to give me hope..."

"You miss Harry?" Sasha asked bewildered.

"Yeah... Doesn't everyone... Now I have to take the mark... I don't want to die." he whispered. Sasha wanted to glare at Draco... He only missed Harry so he could kill Voldemort.

"Draco, are you going to get the mark?" she asked.

"He wants me to... I have no choice now..."

"You do! Please Draco! Just hold on a while longer. I can't lose you." she cried and threw her arms around the troubled boy.

"I'll try."


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