Chapter 7

To my surprise, the energy walls did not lead me back to my cell, but rather to a different area of the prison complex. The door opened and I entered what looked like a large changing room. Perhaps two dozen women were scattered around the room in various stages of undress, some of them with wet hair.

Wet hair… I realized that the background noise I was hearing was of running water. Showers! I couldn't help a small smile coming to my mouth. Yet as soon as it appeared, it vanished. The women in the room were making it their business not to look at me, and yet, I could feel their stares boring through my skin. I moved forward, the others clearing a path before me, unconsciously showing me where to go. I passed through the room, the women returning to their previous positions after I had passed, clearly demonstrating their desire to remain far from my person.

A large bin, of the type I had become familiar with in the laundry facilities, was labeled 'Soiled Clothes', and I noted a large pile of grey garments within. Heedless of my audience, I peeled off my filthy clothes and eagerly dropped them into the bin. Beside me was an entranceway into another chamber, and I could already feel the spray. The water wasn't hot, but it wasn't cold either. As far as I was concerned, it was good enough. The desire to be clean suddenly overpowered all else.

The shower room was filled with the remaining women. It appeared that there had been two shifts in the cleansing chamber. Large poles, spraying water in all directions, were placed around the room, each one servicing four women at a time. Yet as I approached a vacant spot, the other women at that station quickly departed, squeezing in with their comrades at other locations around the chamber. Tears stung at my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Inexplicably, I found that I was cut to the core by their utter exclusion.

I did my best to ignore them, closing my eyes and luxuriating as much as I could under the lukewarm rain. Small dispensers of soap had been provided, and gratefully I washed my skin and hair as quickly as I could, saving the remaining time to enjoy the feel of the water on my skin. I turned around, opening my mouth, letting the water fall within, and drinking deeply. I hadn't had this much to drink since I had last been at Center Neptune, and I took advantage of whatever I could.

A faceless voice announced that we had three hexons before the water was turned off, and I noted the other women hurrying to finish washing themselves. I remained as long as I could, drinking and rinsing until the water ceased. The women lined up on the opposite side of the room from which I had entered, filing slowly into a third chamber. The line moved slowly, yet did not appear to stop. Curiously, I joined them, noting that the women to my front and my rear left far more space than did the others.

The third room turned out to be some kind of drying chamber, with powerful flows of hot air blown about. The women moved as slowly as they could, pulling their fingers through their hair to dry it as they were subjected to the heat. I felt the water droplets evaporating from my skin, leaving me with a warm, comforting feeling.

Yet it wasn't to last. In comparison the locker room, which was now empty, felt frigid, and was only made more so by the icy glares of the other women. I noticed the others picking up bundles of dry clothing from a counter, and copied their example, noting that there appeared to be no variance in size or shape. We literally all wore the same thing: our clothes were completely interchangeable, right down to undergarments. Somehow, I found that almost as disturbing as being ostracized.

Next to the piles of clothing was a container full of plastic bags. Some of the women were taking them, along with their clothing. Curiously, I grabbed a bag and peered at its contents. Inside were ten sanitary pads and accompanying disposal containers. Instructions printed inside the bag stated that the containers would be 'removed' from our cells if they were left there. Lovely. It seemed that the Spectrans even had basic bodily functions down to a schedule.

As I pulled on my fresh clothing, I noticed that the others were gathered around a wall shelf on the far end of the room. Curiously I approached, sending startled women scattering. On the shelf lay a number of metal combs.

Eagerly I reached for one, pulling it through my hair, thrilled to finally be able to free my head of the tangles it had endured for so long. The comb was quite heavy and thick, yet it was far better than my fingers. No mirror was provided, but I could tell by the feel of my hair and the way it laid over my shoulders that it had returned somewhat to its normal state. I was amazed at how good something so small made me feel.

The faceless voice suddenly told us that we had one hexon to finish. Hurriedly I pulled the comb through the last of my tangles, not certain when I would be allowed this small luxury again. We were ordered to step back from the wall, holding out our arms.

I did so, forgetting that I was still holding the comb in one hand. A powerful hum arose, and the comb began pulling from my hand. Curiously, I loosened my fingers, watching the metal object fly from my grasp, slamming back onto the shelf from where it had come. Other combs followed, returning to their original locations.

My head began to ache: a twisting sensation at the base of my skull. I winced, unprepared for the pain that I was experiencing. My cerebonics were going wild, attempting to compensate for… whatever this was.

The hum ceased abruptly, along with the pain in my head. My mind cleared and I instantly understood. The force ripping the comb from my hand had been nothing more than a magnet, albeit a very powerful one. The magnetic field had been strong enough to interfere with my cerebonics, which was saying a lot, as even the magnet Mark had devised to combat Spectra's giant metallic sphere robot hadn't affected me to that degree. Heck, this thing had nearly been strong enough to pull the iron out of my blood!

Everyone lined up to exit the locker room and head back into the corridor. The blue light walls returned us to our cells. As I lay on my sleeping platform, a plastic bag of sanitary supplies on the floor beside me, I almost felt like myself again. Yet I could not dismiss the sense of vulnerability I had felt when Zoltar had confined me in that tiny box, capable of crushing my body at any instant.

I had to get out of here. The question was how.

88888

The following morning in the Dining Hall I approached Genalla and Thanto's table, but the two women looked away, refusing to acknowledge my presence. Rather than force my way into their already crowded space, I resigned myself to another meal of ostracism at the center table. I sat down, the others giving me dark looks and keeping as much space between us as possible. It was difficult to believe, but I had become even more of an outcast than when I had first arrived.

Briefly, I contemplated proclaiming my innocence once more, but I quickly recognized the futility of such action. They had already made up their minds, and there was nothing I could say or do that would persuade them otherwise.

Yet… I couldn't help but wonder if that was the case for everyone. I felt as if I had made a connection with Partov, and to a lesser degree, with Genalla and Thanto. Perhaps, if the issue at hand was discussed in the open, they might be persuaded to reconsider the matter.

When we reached the laundry facilities that morning, I allowed the other three women to scramble for the comparatively easier tasks of tossing and sorting, while I was left with the undesirable chore of spraying on the caustic stain remover. We worked in a cloud of tense silence for perhaps half a hexor, before I startled the others by speaking.

"I thought we were friends." was my bland statement.

"Friends are trustworthy." Partov snapped. "You are not."

"And what have I done to prove my apparent untrustworthiness?" I asked. "Norei has jumped to an incorrect determination regarding me, with only circumstantial evidence to support her theory. Yet everyone believes what she has concluded in error. I can understand this from people who do not know me. Yet I had thought that we had shared enough that you would know something of my character."

"It's not that…" Genalla appeared to be embarrassed. "It's just that it's too risky. If there's even a chance that you're a spy…"

"I'm not." I stated firmly. "Yet I would hope that you would understand that instinctively. However, I can see that you were only interested in associating with me because you perceived my status to be higher, having survived my fight with Norei. Now that I have become an outcast, you no longer wish to associate with me."

"You make us sound like selfish social-climbers!" Thanto was offended by my speech. "You are hardly treating us fairly."

"Am I?" I asked quietly. "They why was it that you didn't speak with me before yesterday? And why is it that you were so willing to believe the worst about me when everyone else did?" Thanto's face burned with anger, but she did not reply.

"If you're so 'innocent', then why did Lord Zoltar want to see you last night?" Partov demanded. "Or are you going to claim that didn't happen?"

"Oh, it happened." I confirmed. "He asked me his same stupid questions again. And just like the last time, he didn't like my answers. Only last night, he decided that he might just kill me for it."

"For not answering his questions?" Genalla gasped.

"For not answering them the way he wanted." I clarified. "I answered, and I did so truthfully, but that wasn't what he wanted to hear."

"So he was willing to kill you over that?" Thanto sounded doubtful.

"He was pretty angry." I shrugged.

"Why didn't you just tell him what he wanted to hear?" Genalla asked, a practical expression on her face. "Why would you risk angering Lord Zoltar?"

"Because I was telling the truth." I replied coldly. "I'm not going to be party to Zoltar's manipulative schemes, at any price. There are critical things… things I am fighting for… that are far more important than my own life. Do I want to stay alive? Of course I do! But I'm not going to sell myself and my comrades out to do it."

The other three women stared at me, blinking rapidly, uncertain what to make of my bald statement. They glanced at each other, seeking answers, yet found only their own confusion reflected back at them.

"Think of me what you will," I told them, "but I am not a spy. Whatever is said between us is between us, and I'd die before revealing any of it to Zoltar."

I picked up a soiled garment, spraying stain remover on it, getting back to my work. The other women followed my lead, returning to their tasks, but through the rest of the day I felt their eyes upon me. They began rotating tasks, including me in the cycle of duties, as we had done the previous day, and I took this small gesture, at least, as a sign that perhaps they were pondering the meaning of my words.

We worked in silence until the bins were emptied, then dropped down to the floor in exhaustion.

"Your system does work better." Genalla admitted shyly. "I like finishing faster."

"Any time we can get to just relax is nice." Thanto admitted, looking askance at me.

"I gather there's no such thing as a day off in this place." I observed dryly.

"I think, sometimes, they let us sleep a little longer." Partov said thoughtfully. "It's hard to tell though, because there are no clocks."

"And no windows." I added. "For all I know, it's the middle of the night. Do you think there's someplace where we might be able to see outside, just for a moment?"

"There are no windows anywhere." Thanto frowned, as if speaking to a particularly dim-witted child. "We're underground."

"Underground?" I was momentarily surprised, but it made sense. "Where? Are we on Spectra?"

"Of course we're on Spectra!" Thanto snapped, but then she paused. "At least… I thought we were."

"We're on Spectra." Partov confirmed. "When I was transported here, we did not pass through space. In fact, most of the journey was underground."

"But no one knows exactly where we are on Spectra." Genalla confided conspiratorially. "It's a secret, because they don't want anyone to find us."

"Who would find us?" I asked. "Are people looking?"

"Of course…" Genalla's voice faded as she looked at my face, apparently realizing that she was talking to a suspected 'spy'. The awkward silence that followed stretched on, no one willing to bridge the gap that still clearly remained between me and the others.

"How did you end up here?" Partov asked suddenly, making me jump with surprise at the sound of her voice. "You say you were a fighter for the Federation, but how did you come here, instead of anyone else?"

"There was a trap." I said slowly, wondering how much these women were ready to hear. "Zoltar was trying to capture my Commander. But I knew something was wrong, and I pushed him out of the way…"

"And you were captured instead." Genalla breathed, her eyes wide.

"Zoltar was far from happy when he discovered that he had captured the wrong person." I continued. "He decided to 'make an example' of me. I guess that's why I ended up here. It's better than being executed, I suppose."

"You sacrificed yourself for your Commander?" Partov sounded impressed, despite herself.

"I'll bet you wish you hadn't been so impulsive." Thanto suggested slyly. "You'd be safe, and your Commander would be the one being 'interrogated' by Lord Zoltar."

"That's where you'd be wrong, Thanto." I disagreed hotly. "I would give my life for my Commander in a second. I pushed him out of the way without hesitation. The only thing that kept me going, once I was captured, was knowing that he was safe." My eyes blazed, and I could feel the heat of my anger radiating in my words. Thanto drew back, her face immediately taking on an apologetic expression, as if she knew she had pushed me too far.

"You care a great deal for this Commander of yours." Partov noted.

"Are the two of you…?" Genalla did not speak the words, but we all knew what she was asking. My cheeks flushed. I had never really been in a 'relationship' with anyone, much less discussed the matter with others. I was taken aback by these women who seemed to see straight to the heart of such things.

"No." My response was torn with emotion. I knew instantly that the others sensed the depth of my outwardly simple response.

"Maybe…" Genalla tilted her head, carefully choosing her words. "Maybe now that you're gone, he understands what could have been."

"Are you trying to suggest that he misses me?" I laughed raggedly. I didn't know whether to smile at Genalla's honest attempt to make me feel better, or to cry with the stark reality. Mark might well miss me, now that I was gone, but I sincerely doubted that if and when I was to return, that things would be different between us. We had been through life or death experiences before, and nothing had changed in the way we interacted with each other. I had thought, perhaps, after my near-confession of my feelings the night Center Neptune was destroyed, that things might have… evolved. Yet there had been nothing of the sort. Mark had accepted my declaration that I 'liked him best' as a casual statement, and I had chosen not to pursue the matter. Being inexperienced in these matters, I had never been entirely certain if I had been too vague to make things clear to Mark, yet I had been too embarrassed at the time to speak more plainly. That there was something special between the two of us was not to be denied. That this 'something' would never be acknowledged, much less consummated… that was a hard reality that I had come to accept.

"I'm sure he does." Partov sympathized. Her eyes softened, and I could sense the honesty of the emotion.

"Thank you." I whispered, nodding gratefully. "It's a nice thought, in any case."

"At least you have someone to miss you." Thanto pointed out. "Our husbands are gone. It is our fate to miss them."

"You're right, Thanto." I agreed, surprising the woman. "At least I know my Commander is safe. None of you have that luxury. I have no business feeling sorry for myself."

"Yet it hurts, just the same." Genalla acknowledged.

We sat in sad silence, contemplating this truth.