Some questions are answered this chapter. Hope it doesn't disappoint any of you too much. I believe strongly in validating their feelings, of all of the spectrum. And for those who are having questions over Jason, the answers will come eventually. I write this story like the show, where I plant seeds for secrets but don't fully explain anything until later. It's what keeps you all interested ;) Or, well, that's my intention...
But for those curious, you have no seen the last of him, that much is for certain ;)
This, and the next chapter, had to involve some improvising so by definition, there are original characters introduced.
Anyways blah blah blah, words words words, ENJOY!
I do not own Pretty Little Liars.
"Spencer, we've been driving for two hours. Where on earth are you abducting me to?" Toby asked amusedly from the passenger seat, not used to being the target for surprises.
Spencer grinned, far too proud that he hadn't figured it out yet. "I told you… its part of your Christmas present. It's why I gave you the truck early."
"I still can't believe you bought me a truck." he muttered, shaking his head at his girlfriend. Girlfriend. He'd never get tired of that word.
"You needed it and I felt like some retail therapy, especially after that fiasco with my family. I'd much rather spend money on something for you than have them spend it on redoing the barn for the twenty-seventh time." she explained with a roll of her eyes.
"You're crazy, you know that?" Toby teased.
Spencer smirked. "But you love me." she reminded him, still glowing from the words they exchanged only a few hours before.
"Well I'd be crazy not to." Toby murmured, slipping her hand off the wheel and into his.
She shot him a dazzling smile and continued along the road, comfortably driving one-handed. "Have you not been reading the signs on the way here? Do you really have no idea where we are?" she asked incredulously.
"I seriously don't have a clue. It's dark now so I can't even tell if this place is familiar." Toby explained.
"I just hope you won't be mad at me when you figure it out." Spencer admitted quietly, much more vulnerable than her upbeat personality of the past few minutes.
"Why would I be mad?" he asked in confusion.
"I guess you're about to find out." she said apprehensively, pulling up on the side of the road and parking. She forced a smile at him before hopping out, keeping one hand on the car to avoid slipping on ice as she made her way around to his side. "Come on. I'll show you."
After they had passed some trees to get to the entrance, Toby saw where they were. His voice caught in his throat as he followed Spencer through the rows. She had a map out and after a few minutes, they reached where they needed to be.
There it stood.
Leslie Marie Cavanaugh
Beloved Mother, Wife and Friend.
Brave fighter, limitless lover, may you rest in peace, free at last.
Toby unconsciously reached out to stroke the tombstone, tears falling quickly to melt the snow beneath his feet as he squatted in front of it.
Spencer wasn't sure what to do in these situations, but she crouched down next to him and rested her hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. She pulled out something else from her bag and handed it to him.
"From you and I and your dad." she explained softly, the three red roses contrasting beautifully with the pure white snow.
Toby nodded gratefully, the lump in his throat too large to form words. He hadn't been to see his mom's grave since the funeral. They had taken her back to Baltimore to be buried, her last wish, since it was where she grew up.
His gloved fingertips stroked across the aged stone, the discoloration remnants of the few years it had been standing there marking her place. He felt another hit to his heart as he realized just how long it had really been since he had last seen her, since he had last heard her laugh. Toby couldn't stop himself from letting out a small sob. Spencer immediately nestled into his arms in a hug and he held her as close to him as possible.
"She would've loved you, Spence. You remind me of her sometimes. The two of you would've teamed up and poked fun at me constantly if she was still around." he confessed through his tears, his words shaky as he tried to laugh at the happy images. The cold was making his face sting even more from the moisture. "I miss her so much."
Spencer nodded, tears soaking her face now too. "I know. She would be so proud of you, of who you've become. Don't doubt that she's not still around. Her strength lives inside you, Toby."
Toby nodded, but couldn't stop the inevitable sobs that followed. He clutched Spencer to him, holding her securely in his lap, reminding himself that everything he had to live for was right in his arms in that moment.
"I can't even explain how much I love you. Thanks for taking me here. I needed this." he whispered into her hair, pressing his lips to her temple.
Spencer smiled, her head tucked under his chin. "I love you so much. There's no need to thank me."
Although Spencer had no true tie to Toby's mom, she felt she had needed this too.
After a while, the wind picked up and the chill of the night overcame the town. The pair decided to head out, Toby's arm wrapping tightly around Spencer to secure her to his side.
"We should get a room. Drive back in the morning. The roads are going to be awful soon." Toby told her seriously and she nodded, knowing that the snow that was falling now mixed with the sudden drop in temperature would make the pavement like butter all too soon.
Spencer had figured that might happen and with the lateness of the evening, it was just better for everyone.
Toby took over driving which was perfectly fine with Spencer. After the car heated up enough to function, they stopped at the nearest motel.
"This looks straight out a horror movie." Spencer stated automatically when they pulled into the parking lot. The neon light sign was flickering in and out and the place looked pretty vacant.
Toby chuckled. "I'll protect you, I promise. Wait here if you feel more comfortable."
Spencer scoffed. "Oh because that doesn't sound like the start of every horror movie… leave the defenseless girl alone in the car. She hears a sound. Looks around nervously. Maybe sees a cat by the garbage cans and sighs in relief, blaming that for the disturbance. But the wait is too long. The boyfriend doesn't return. She sees a figure in the distance, approaching the car. She calls out her boyfriend's name, hoping it's him, but no response. She starts to panic and tries to get out but the doors are locked and the boyfriend took the keys with him. She starts screaming as the menacing dark figure comes closer, maybe with a knife or some sick twisted weapon raised, like a jigsaw or a hook. Fade to black. Bright morning light and the cops are investigating the scene, or the next victims are watching the whole thing on the news-"
"OH-kay. You need to stop watching horror movies with Hanna. Come with me then. I just don't want you to be colder than you need to be." he told her amusedly, shaking his head at her crazy antics. She had some imagination.
And a point. Some scary movies were just too textbook.
Spencer linked their arms tightly as they crossed the parking lot together. She was glad she told Toby to pack an overnight bag. Well, she had mostly packed it since he was a boy and wasn't used to packing for sleepovers. She had been all too happy to pick out the most of his clothes while he gathered up his toiletries. Spencer herself had stashed her own bag in the truck before heading over to Toby's as well as an extra bag of survival gear in case they got stranded.
After Toby got a key to two-fifteen, they entered the room to find it thankfully well heated.
"I brought your pajamas if you want to get more comfortable." Spencer told him as she dug through the bag. "Top or bottom?" she asked innocently.
Toby couldn't help but laugh, knowing she was making fun of him from the time he asked her the very same. He wasn't going to have a moment of panic like she had. "Whichever one you don't want." he countered casually.
But she was too quick on her feet with him now to fall for that. "Hmm… I'll take bottom." she replied, tossing him the t-shirt that she had grabbed from his dresser earlier.
He had to admit he hadn't been expecting that. He simply gaped at her for a minute before closing his mouth. "Touché."
Spencer grinned and threw him the pants, pulling out the anchor long-sleeved shirt she had stolen before they had been officially dating. She slept in it around him often. She knew he loved seeing her in his clothes, even if he wouldn't always admit it out loud.
Toby went to go get changed in the bathroom. The pull-across-shutters stuck and left a sliver of him visible as he began undressing.
Spencer found her eyes drawn to him as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. She unconsciously bit her lip as her eyes traced his phenomenal abdomen. They settled on the script on his hip, smiling as she remembered the meaning he had shared with her the few months before. She was even happier with her decision to bring him there tonight.
Toby stepped forward to finish undressing, going to grab the pajamas that he left on the counter and he was suddenly out of sight.
Spencer sighed and changed into the soft shirt, throwing her clothes back in her bag. She saw her perfume bottle rolling around the bottom and, peeking to make sure Toby was still occupied, spritzed it on her neck, wrists and between her breasts for good measure. She wasn't sure if anything would happen between them tonight or not but she was hopeful. Her conversation with Hanna was still at the back of her mind.
Toby finally had returned, fully clothed, and smiled upon seeing her choice of outfit. She smiled back mischievously, lounging on the bed in what she hoped was a seductive pose.
Spencer patted the spot next to her, raising her eyebrows at him.
He smirked. "Is Spencer Hastings trying to seduce me?" he fake-gasped, a hand over his heart.
She giggled as he descended next to her. "Well I'm not going to use some 'there's mistletoe' cheap trick…" she retorted with a grin.
He poked her in the stomach playfully. "Admit it: you thought it was cute. And if my memory serves me correctly, it definitely worked…"
Spencer chewed her tongue, refusing to give in. Truth be told, she thought it was one of the cutest things he had ever said. It was so corny and Toby it had been perfect.
His arm had wrapped around her middle now, pulling her against him. "Sure you're not going to be too cold in just a t-shirt? It is minus seven outside…" he reminded her as his lips ghosted from behind her ear down her neck.
Her ability to think of a witty retort proved difficult when his lips were brushing so sensually against her sensitive skin. "So keep me warm." she said a little too breathily, in an attempt to be forward, pulling his mouth to hers.
Toby didn't hesitate to reciprocate and Spencer felt her heart beat faster when he slipped his left knee between her legs so he could hover over her body more comfortably. Their kissing heated up, Spencer's hands gripping his shirt on his back as his slid under hers so he was gripping her bare waist.
Nervous, Spencer slowly pushed his shirt up his torso, waiting for the protest.
She didn't receive any.
Toby helped her throw it to the side before meeting their lips passionately again. She had to break away to suck in air, hating that the human body needed so much. His mouth pressed deliberate kisses down her neck, more eager than before, and she started to feel like this really was going somewhere. Normally he would've backed down long before now.
Her hands hungrily scratched up his abs, gripping his shoulders as he sucked on her collarbone. Her neck arched in response, giving him better access, and she found her legs looping around his thighs of their own accord.
The action caused her pelvis to rock into his. Toby groaned into her shoulder, returning the gesture. Grateful she hadn't misread things, she grinded her hips slowly against him, evidence of his arousal already pressing into her.
Spencer hauled his mouth back to hers, her fingers digging into his muscular back as she pulled him even closer to her body. His calloused hands slid further up underneath her shirt and caressed her breasts.
She couldn't help but half-gasp/half-moan into his mouth at the feeling. The way his fingers brushed over her sensitive skin, applying different levels of pressure as he responded to her body language… there was no other way to describe it; it felt amazing. An incredible tingling hit her between the legs.
Wren touching her there had never felt that good. He had never been as gentle. Or maybe it was Toby's rough skin that made such a difference. Maybe it was just because it was Toby. Everything he did turned her into goo, whether it was his touches or his words.
Wanting to return the favor in some manner, Spencer's fingers grasped the waistband of his pajama pants.
And that's when everything stopped.
Toby froze, not moving, as still as ice. She would've argued that he stopped breathing too.
And just like that, he had scrambled backwards off of her.
Spencer sat up quickly, attempting to fix her disheveled clothes and watching him in concern. Toby had his back to her, sitting on the edge of the bed, breathing heavily.
He sat just as stiffly as before, as if his whole body had gone into lockdown. He was practically cowering, his back hunched in a protective stance, as if he was about to get beaten. Spencer put a hand to her mouth, not sure if she was blocking cries from coming out or vomit. She knew that if she could see his eyes in that moment, there would only be fear residing there.
Spencer knew she had to do something. She just didn't know what to say.
"Toby…" she said in as gentle a voice as she could muster.
He winced at the sound involuntarily, but finally moved, running a hand through his hair stressfully.
Tentatively she shuffled over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, rubbing her thumb soothingly over the bare skin. His body slowly relaxed and he finally looked around as if remembering where he was. As soon as he met her eyes, he turned away, throwing his head in his hands in shame.
"God, I'm so sorry, Spencer." he whispered.
Spencer moved to sit next to him. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault."
"I thought I was over what happened. I thought it wouldn't get in the way anymore." he continued sadly.
"Toby, it hasn't gotten in the way. We are still together and I love you. We'll get through this." she told him seriously.
She got up and found his t-shirt, coming back and handing it to him. He pulled his head through the hole desolately, breathing evenly, staring at the cheap carpet.
After a moment, Toby sighed and held out his arms for her. She slid closer to him and buried her face in his neck in a hug.
"What happened with Jenna was so long ago now. I shouldn't still be haunted by her. I just want to move on. I was worried this would happen." he admitted, pulling her so they were settled against the headboard.
Something finally clicked for her. "Is that why you always slow us down when things start heating up between us? You were worried your past would get in the way…" she murmured, mostly to herself, finally understanding.
Toby looked guilty. He nodded. "Yeah… it's not that I didn't want to, trust me, it's all I could think about some nights. But I was nervous for what would come to my mind if we did."
Spencer placed her hands atop his. "Why didn't you just talk to me about it? We could've worked on a solution together. Instead you had me wondering if you even wanted me that way."
Toby, having looked so depressed the past few minutes, suddenly burst out laughing. "You're kidding, right? Spencer, every red-blooded male wants you that way."
Spencer shrugged her shoulders. "To me, it seemed rather plausible. I'm really skinny and not as chesty as some girls…"
Toby cupped her face in his hands. "Spencer, you are gorgeous. I meant what I said a few months ago. You have beauty beyond ninety-five percent of the population, like a muse. There's an elegance and gracefulness about you. You're long and slender and have a face that could sail a thousand ships. I find you irresistible, hence my lack of stopping us earlier. I… I want to take that next step with you, I really, really do, but…" he trailed off, looking torn.
He knew why she was insecure. Having Wren cheat on her with Melissa of all people had been a huge hit to her already fragile self-esteem. He remembered her admitting the night that everything had blown up that she figured she must be bad in bed if Wren had gone and slept with a previous lover, as if anything was a step-up from her.
"Spencer…" he began and immediately Spencer didn't like his tone. He loosened his hold on her, pulling back to look at her, but his eyes casting downwards to the bed immediately after meeting her sad eyes. "Maybe this relationship isn't a good idea for either of us right now…"
Spencer's tears spilled over. He couldn't be breaking up with her, could he?
"It's not fair of me to ask you to pick up my broken pieces…" he explained, but he sounded just as brokenhearted as she felt.
But as much as it hurt, Toby knew what he was saying was right. Spencer was still getting over what happened with Wren, however strong she may seem. With her insecurities of not being wanted that way, and his inability to take that next level with her… it wasn't fair that he was only fueling her insecurity further with his emotional scars. He couldn't prove to Spencer how much he really felt for her and it was only hurting her more.
"Toby… it's not like that. And if you're broken, then so am I." she promised, grasping his hands tightly in hers now, desperate to get him to listen to her. "We can get through this. We can get through anything. I love you."
Toby looked back to her, immediately brushing her tears away with his thumbs. He kissed her softly. "I love you too."
He lifted her carefully so she was sitting in his lap, kissing her gently again.
She forced a smile. "Still want to break up?" she asked apprehensively.
Toby shook his head, hugging her now. "I never wanted to… I just don't want to ever hurt you."
She smiled for real now. "Guess that means we're never breaking up…" she teased, kissing him again. She pulled back. "We can take things slow, Toby. That's what we agreed on. I don't want to hurt you either."
He smiled. "Good. So do you want to try to find a movie on pay-per-view or something?"
Spencer laughed and turned to look at the TV that had antenna on top and dials. Toby seemed to realize this at the same time, chuckling too.
"Or…" Spencer started, climbing out of his hold despite her heart's protests. "Care for a friendly game of Scrabble?" she offered, grinning, pulling the board game out of the survival gear bag.
Toby laughed, mostly at the fact that it was in that bag versus her regular. "Well I know with you playing it will be anything but friendly… but you're on."
He grinned back at her as she sat across from him on the bed.
After about an hour, all playful talking had ceased as Spencer plotted her next moves.
Toby got up to get a glass of water and held back a laugh as he saw the smug look on her face and the letters she had placed.
"Glyceraldehyde?" Toby asked amusedly, settling in his spot.
She smirked, trying not to look as smug as she felt but failing miserably. "With the C on the double letter, it is thirty-two points; plus the triple word score gets me ninety-six points."
She copied down her score as Toby put his next word down.
"Goofball. You can put down a hundred-and-four points for me." he said easily. "Thanks for the G. I've been waiting for it."
Spencer sat up immediately, looking panicked.
Toby quickly explained himself, struggling with difficulty to contain his laughter. "Eighteen points, times the triple word score, plus the fifty point bingo bonus."
Spencer quickly calculated in her head, staring at the board as if willing it to change, before going back to the score chart and ignoring his gaze. "Oh. A hundred-and-four points. Good for you." she said, sounding far too insincere for him to be able to stop himself from laughing.
He bit his fist to contain himself. "I like this game." he added, taunting her, which she quickly realized when she finally looked at his face.
She grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at him.
Toby gaped at her and saw her expression had gone from stony to playful in the matter of a few seconds.
He lifted the board onto the floor before she knew what was happening and then she saw the look in his eyes. "Toby, no!" she cried.
But he had already grasped the pillow beside him and slammed it into her side. She grinned and grabbed hers, beating him in return as they attempted to stand on the old bed. But their war was too violent for them to be able to make it without losing their balance so Spencer vowed for launching herself at him and knocking him to the ground.
They were laughing too hard to care and thankfully the fallen pillows broke their fall so it wasn't too painful. Toby pinned her down and unleashed his tickling hands on her.
Spencer fought against him but was giggling too hard to have much force behind it. Her boyfriend finally took pity on her and stopped, rolling off of her and smiling at her blissful face as she caught her breath.
She rolled on her side to meet his smiling gaze. "That was fun." she giggled.
"Always is with you." he replied, pressing an affectionate kiss to her forehead as she cuddled into his side.
Toby wrapped his arms more tightly around her, thinking back to the crazy emotional day they had had and realizing that this girl right here was going to end up being his saving grace.
