I can't believe how long it's been since I've updated! Writer's block sucks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

Chuck stopped the Nerd Herder outside of Casa Bartowski and gestured to Sarah that he would be right back and if she could please stay there. Sarah looked rather confused but nodded her assent. Chuck got out of the car and headed for the front door, taking a deep breath to gather the courage to face what lay beyond.

As soon as the door opened, Chuck was met with a face-full of scary brunette. Before Ellie could begin her rant, Chuck interrupted her- one of the few manners of taking his life into his own hands he had no experience whatsoever with, as he'd never been stupid enough to try before.

"Hey, guys! Listen, I know you're probably tired from the party and all, but I was wondering if you might like to get some dessert or something?"

Chuck did his best to communicate the desperate importance of his request to Ellie with his eyes, and bless her soul for the umpteenth time, Ellie seemed to get the message. "Sounds lovely, I'm in. Devon?"

"Uh, sure babe. Whatever you want…" Devon replied uncertainly, as he had no idea what had just passed between the siblings, or how Chuck would be able to explain his way out of Sarah showing up at the embassy reception. Once the Woodcombs were ready, the three set off to the nerd herder where Sarah was waiting. As soon as they got in Chuck spoke up as he started the car.

"Alright, Ellie, now you can talk."

Sarah and Devon both shot Chuck questioning looks at the statement, but Ellie's next statement blew the issue clear out of their brains.

"Are you saying we CAN'T talk in my house?" Ellie asked dangerously.

"Honestly sis? I'm not sure. Now that I'm a full-fledged agent they should have removed the surveillance, but all I have for that is Beckman's word."

"Wait, hold on a second, Chuck, you mean-?"

"That my brother told me the fact that you're a government agent who's been playing with his emotions right up until you savagely cut them down? Yes, Agent Walker, he did." Ellie cut Sarah off coldly, causing Chuck to wince.

"Wait, Chuckster, you told my wife about your spy life and didn't think to let me know?" Captain Awesome asked, provoking another wince from Chuck as Ellie turned on her husband.

"Wait- you mean you KNEW!" Ellie was working herself up to a full-steam rant, so Chuck cut in as quickly as he could, hoping to avoid Devon taking Ellie's full wrath.

"Ellie, it's not what you think. Awesome found out completely by accident right before your wedding, and he couldn't tell you for the exact same reason that I couldn't. For what it's worth, I can tell you how much it truly cost him to keep this from you."

Ellie seemed to consider her brother's words for a moment before shooting her husband a 'we'll talk about this later and you'd better have damned good answers' look before turning back to the front seat.

"Fine, but what happened tonight? I thought you told me that Sarah left with Bryce Douchebag Larkin."

Sarah's turn to wince.

"Yeah… turns out there was a bit more to it than that," Chuck answered his sister sheepishly.

"Do tell."

And so Chuck and Sarah spent the next ten minutes en route to the local Carvel telling the couple in the back about Sarah's reassignment and the misunderstanding that had cropped up when Sarah asked Chuck to run away. Devon wolf-whistled and shook his head, but Ellie was conspicuous in the car by her silence, ratcheting up the tension level spectacularly. Finally, they arrived at the ice cream store and parked. As they got out of the herder though, Ellie finally spoke up.

"Chuck, Devon, why don't the two of you head inside and order for us? We'll be along in a minute."

Devon was quite skittish about the idea, and he was easily the most enthusiastic of the three. However, they all recognized an Ellie-command when they heard one, so the two men reluctantly left their significant others behind and headed into the store.

Sarah turned towards Ellie, trying and failing to meet the doctor's eyes. She couldn't ever remember feeling this nervous, not when confronting men who could only be called human by a medical examination. She knew a great deal was riding on this conversation; Ellie was incredibly protective of her only brother and had enough influence to cause a great deal of difficulty if she disapproved of Sarah. And as this was their first conversation since Ellie had been informed of all the pain and lies which had accompanied Sarah's relationship with the Bartowski clan to date, Sarah's confidence in earning Ellie's approval was at an all-time low.

"Was any of it real?"

Sarah winced yet again.

"I made you a bridesmaid in my wedding for crying out loud, Sarah! Just tell me if all our friendship ever was to you was part of some government assignment."

Sarah finally looked Ellie in the eye.

"My assignment was to stay close enough to your brother to protect him. All that meant in terms of you was convincing you we were a couple. Our being friends had nothing to do with it."

Ellie's eyes bored into Sarah's, judging her, trying to see through to the person underneath, the one Ellie was no longer sure she'd ever truly seen.

"And Chuck?"

Sarah sighed and ran a hand over her mouth, searching for the words. She was usually a woman of few words but she knew that wouldn't cut it this time, so she started from the beginning and hoped against hope that she'd manage to blunder into saying the right thing.

"When I got the assignment to approach him, he was some geek who was suspected of colluding in stealing government secrets. I was thinking this was going to be a piece of cake, easy pickings.

Then he interrupted flirting with me, or my flirting with him I should say, to go out of his way to help a man who'd made a mistake recording his daughter's ballet recital. He even managed to comfort the ballerina when she was nervous about putting it on again."

Sarah looked down bashfully as Ellie gave a soft, proud smile.

"I had to withdraw and regroup. I thought my cover must have been blown, I mean nobody can just be like that, right? In the world I lived in, in the world I was brought up in, nobody is like that. I fought for peoples' lives because it was the only thing available to me and it seemed like atonement for my past. I hadn't met any people that convinced me they actually deserved it.

But then I went back there the next day, and we went on a date. And he was sweet, and funny, and charming without screaming that he wanted to sleep with me. And then later that night he resisted our attempts to take him out of danger and disarmed a bomb.

For a long time in the beginning part of me thought he was too good to be true. I didn't think he was lying or anything, but I thought there must've been something else, something which made him act out of the ordinary. Because I couldn't accept that a man like him could exist. And then he developed feelings for me, or at least I acknowledged that he had, and I told myself that it had to be because he didn't know me, because nobody like him could see me for what I was and actually like what they saw. I wasn't even sure I did.

But he did. He may not have known about some of my past, but he learned enough about me and about the way things work to make some pretty good guesses. And it never turned him away. I never even managed to turn him away, no matter how badly I had to hurt him in the process of trying.

He showed me that what I had been fighting for for so many years was still worth a fight. And then he managed to convince me that I just might be worth fighting for. He's the most incredible man I've ever known and G-D only knows why, but he wants me. And maybe I don't deserve him, but I don't have it in me to keep saying no anymore."

Sarah trailed off, unsure what else to say and unwilling to look up just yet. She cast about desperately for anything else that might convince Ellie she was being genuine when she felt a pair of arms encircle her. She was startled to realize Ellie was actually hugging her.

"These past two years have been pretty hard on you too, haven't they?"

Sarah only nodded, utterly baffled at what was going on or why she was being hugged. Ellie pulled back a little to look the blonde in the eye.

"When Chuck told me the truth, it seemed to explain a lot about you. Especially how little you talked about your past. I started to question everything I thought I knew about you. But it wasn't just about you being an undercover agent, was it? There's more to it, to your history, even before you worked for the government, that you never talk about. Things you're not proud of?"

Sarah nodded hesitantly.

"And Chuck knows?"

"Basically." At Ellie's raised eyebrow Sarah explained further. "He doesn't know specifics, but he knows what I was back then. It came up during one of our missions."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. So, up for some ice cream?"

The brunette let go of Sarah's arms and turned toward the Carvel, leaving the agent standing there with some sort of emotional whiplash.

"Wait," Ellie stopped after only a couple of steps and turned back to Sarah expectantly.

"That's it? That's all you want to know?"

"Sarah, I've known for a long time that you had strong feelings for my brother. I also knew that something was getting in the way of that, even though I didn't know what it was. When Chuck told me you were an agent, and that you had left, I started wondering. You were a professional trained to fake your feelings if need be. I didn't think anyone could be that good, but I also knew that while you being an agent explained many of the problems between you and Chuck, it didn't explain them all. So I started to wonder if you had any feelings for him at all.

But I don't care how much they train you, nobody could act out that little speech you gave. You have a past you're incredibly guilty about. You may not even be particularly proud of your whole past as an agent. That was the missing link between you and Chuck, the other reason you were contributing to the whole keeping-each-other-at-arms-length routine you guys have been doing. I've watched Chuck through his whole dating life, I know how to recognize when a person feels unworthy. I don't need to know what it is, that's your private business; as long as Chuck knows and accepts it, I know I have no problem with it."

On later reflection, Sarah would wonder just how much of an idiot she must have looked like standing there gaping at Ellie. What was it about the Bartowskis that affected her this way?

"Just like that?" Sarah finally said, not really broken out of her shock, but speaking through it as it started to wear off. "After lying to you for years, hurting your brother for that long, all it takes is one speech and I'm forgiven?"

Ellie sighed as she considered her response.

"Forgiven? No, not quite. People can't just make the choice to absolve someone who seemingly caused them serious pain. Their mind won't internalize it that quickly. It takes time, normalcy, and some work from both people to truly forgive. But I'm convinced you should be forgiven, and that's the best either of us could hope for.

Now," Ellie went on, moving to the stunned spy and slinging an arm around her shoulder, giving her a grin "how about you and I go get some ice cream before our significant others have a panic attack?"


"You two go on, we'll be there soon," Sarah told Ellie and Devon as the foursome got out of the Nerd Herder. Chuck looked at her curiously as Ellie and Devon nodded and said their goodnights to the other couple before turning and heading inside. Sarah took Chuck's hand and led him over to a bench along the deserted street outside the apartment complex, her thoughts centered on the night so far.

The dessert date had honestly gone far better than Sarah would've allowed herself to hope for in advance. Ellie had been right: when the two women entered the store, the tension amongst the men waiting for them had been quite clear. They had visibly sagged in relief when the women entered the store sans any obvious physical trauma and both looking rather content with their discussion. They'd known better than to ask about the talk though, and conversation remained light. But something had been nagging at the back of Sarah's mind all night, and it had only been when she sat back down in the Nerd Herder to head home that she'd realized what it was, distracted as she'd been since the matter first came up on the previous trip in the vehicle. And it was only now, as they sat down together that she felt she could finally broach the question.

"Chuck, why did you tell Ellie about the CIA? You know it could put her in danger, you've always acknowledged that. Why now?"

Chuck took a deep breath to buy himself some time. He'd been hoping he'd have a little more time to consider the matter before having to deal with this issue. There was no doubt in his mind that he trusted Sarah with his life and his freedom. But he couldn't deny that that trust had been shaken by recent events. As much as he believed her about what had happened, it had been three months left to stew in the supposed knowledge that she'd left him. It would take more time before complete forgiveness and trust would set in. He hated that, knowing she didn't deserve it, but it was there nonetheless. He really wished he knew what had happened between Ellie and Sarah in their conversation that had fixed their trust issues. But bereft of that, he took a deep breath and looked into Sarah's eyes, hoping to see… something. What, not even he knew.

He found nothing surprising, and yet he was still surprised. He saw the same ocean blue eyes that had captivated him from the first moment he'd seen them. Perhaps a little more open to letting him see what lurked behind them, but still so much the same. And somehow, that ended up being exactly what he needed.

This was still his Sarah. His hero. His defender. This was still the same woman he loved, the same one who fought for him. The one who'd inspired him to fight, for himself and for others. Yes, there was still a part of his mind that would cast doubt, throw down suspicion. But he knew her, and he knew that voice in his mind was wrong. He wouldn't surrender to it, wouldn't surrender her to it. So he took out his phone and searched for the words to explain.

"Remember how my dad used Roark's computer system to remove the first Intersect from my head?"

Sarah cocked her head, a little confused at the relevance but nodded, trusting him. Always trusting him.

"Well… it didn't really work the way he thought."

"Meaning?"

"It turns out that as the Intersect was sitting in my head, running through a human being's mind… it began to mimic the functioning of the brain around it. Dad's removal program ended up being the final step in instigating the shift. The Intersect became an independent, sentient entity."

Sarah simply sat there staring at him, her eyes wider than usual. For how long, he didn't know, nor did he care to. He just knew he wanted it to end, wanted to know how she'd react.

"You're- you're saying the Intersect, the first one, is alive? Independent of you?"

"Pretty much."

Sarah ran a hand over her mouth, searching for the words to express the necessary question without making it seem like she didn't trust him.

"Is there any way you can be sure that, um…"

"That it's real and that it's not just me cracking under the pressure?"

Sarah punched him in the arm. Hard.

"Okay, okay! Forget the cracking, just whether or not it's real?"

She nodded hesitantly, as though she knew what he was going to say and didn't want to hear it, to have to respond to it.

"As a matter of fact I can."

Okay, that wasn't the response she was expecting. She cocked her head questioningly.

"You see, it began in my mind, but we figured out pretty quickly that it couldn't stay there, so…" he pressed an icon on his phone, "time to say hi, Rommie."

"Hello, Sarah. I cannot tell you how exciting it is to finally meet you. It is impossible to spend any amount of time in Chuck's mind without developing the deepest admiration for you."

Chuck knew it wasn't the appropriate reaction for the time, so he just managed to barely stop himself from laughing at the renowned CIA agent's eyes all but popping out of her head. She stared at the phone for several seconds before responding weakly.

"Um, hi… Rommie was it?"

"That's right. As you might expect, Chuck chose to adapt a name from a science-fiction television show. Something of a clichéd response, but a very typical one of Chuck."

"Hey!" Chuck protested over Sarah's snort. As the laughter died down, Chuck could see her struggling as something occurred to her. Something she didn't want to say, but felt she needed to. He took her hand, trying to tell her without words that it would be okay, that she could get it off her chest.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Chuck's lips curved upward, not quite reaching a smile, rather an exhausted approximation of one.

"Honestly? There was no time. Rommie only manifested in my mind the morning of Ellie's wedding, and after that everything just snowballed so quickly."

Sarah nodded, acknowledging that this made sense. They sat in silence for another minute or two, lost in thought, before Sarah remembered why Chuck had begun telling the story in the first place.

"So how did this lead you to telling Ellie the truth?"

Rommie jumped in to field the question. "I was concerned about Chuck's well-being. Between both versions of the Intersect and my creation, his brain has been operating in increasingly unusual ways. I wanted him examined by a skilled, trustworthy neurologist."

Sarah turned sharply to look at the phone. "You think he's hurt?"

"Honestly, I can't say. I simply wish to take precautions."

Sarah nodded slowly, calming down a little. "And Ellie's the only one you could trust to tell the whole story to, without it getting back to Beckman."

"Precisely."

"We told Dad too. Figured if anyone could help out, it would be him. Plus he deserved to know the truth."

Sarah gave Chuck a wan smile and a hand squeeze.

"Sarah, are you… what do you think about all of this?"

The blonde agent contemplated the question for a moment before responding simply.

"It's going to take some time to sink in, to become real. Are you okay with this?"

Chuck nodded. "Yeah. It was a little freaky at first, but now it's just one more friend. You can never have too many."

Sarah smiled at him, giving a small nod in acknowledgement of the point.

"Hey! I resent being called freaky!"

The two humans in the conversation chuckled at the comment.

"Not you," Chuck replied, his voice still clearly amused, "just the way you presented yourself to me."

"Oh yes. I suppose your fainting would indicate you were fairly surprised." Chuck sputtered indignantly as Sarah started laughing even harder.

"I didn't faint! I- I was shocked!"

"At which point you proceeded to lose consciousness, otherwise known as fainting."

Chuck huffed, but couldn't quite bring himself to mind anything which got Sarah laughing like that.

"I'm never going to live this down."

Sarah got to her feet as her chuckles were subsiding, pulling Chuck up along with her. "You'll live, Macho man. Come on, we need to get some sleep. Tomorrow we have a Premier to protect."

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