Morning. Nick disliked mornings. While they were full of delightful things like the sweet ambrosial nectar that was coffee, the bliss of a nice, warm shower and the early morning woodworking sessions that were part of his morning routine since he was 12, there were also downsides like jogging, bed fur and the looming threat of grapefruit.
One of the many downsides he associated with mornings was the struggle of separating dreams from reality. It wasn't much of a struggle, really. The crushing disappointment that frequently accompanied it was the painful part and the desire to avoid it was a natural impulse. Dreams were filled with the good things in life -food, wine, comfort and females- but reality was where his job and Carrots were, so reality won hands down. That didn't make the transition any more pleasant.
Detaching himself from the pleasures of his dreamscape was usually the first hurdle he faced in his day, followed shortly by the life and death battle to separate himself from the delicious warmth and comfort of the bed, to face the horror of his morning run.
Unfortunately, Nick hadn't gotten as far as that, today. He was mired at that first hurdle. Thoroughly stymied, he was. It was the sticking point on this particular morning, due to another of those morning things. It was a particular morning thing that had been only dreamed about, but never achieved: morning cuddles.
He'd dreamed, daydreamed and fantasized about waking up wrapped around a beautiful vixen since his voice first cracked. It was something he'd come close to, even brushed in passing, but never actually had. The vixen had changed over time and been semi-amorphous until a certain doe rabbit had appeared on stage in his dream theater. Since then, she'd been the star.
That's was what made this morning such a challenge. He'd woken up to cuddles. If he was awake. That remained to be seen. Cuddles were not at all what he expected, outside of a dream. They were even a particular variety that he'd given up on ever getting and with a female he'd similarly given up on attaining. And yet, on this morning he had awoken to cuddles with Carrots. Cuddles of a scarily intimate variety. Impossible cuddles!
He so desperately wanted to be awake, but he wasn't convinced. So many dreams had started this way… He was barely more than half dressed, as was she. Either buttons on his shirt had opened during the night and her blouse had ridden up, or his dreamscape was starting this one off on the lurid side, as usual. Fur on fur was a sensation he hadn't experienced in a very long time and his Carrots felt exquisite. Too good to be real.
Nothing felt this good.
He had to be dreaming.
He was fairly sure the incident with Savage and Bogo giving him the day off had been real, as was the trip to the Nox side of town. After that, he must have come home and had a couple, before knocking out on the couch. That was what he had expected yesterday to be and here he was.
Naturally, his subconscious (which apparently had a twisted, sadomasochistic streak) would pull that as a starting point for the insane dreams he'd had. There was the whole thing with his dad being a spy, Savage crying, of all things, before kissing him and making a very obvious, very good pass at him. Now Judy lay sprawling across his chest semi-clothed. He knew he had a thing for rabbits, but the male rabbit side of things was new. Maybe he should invest in some therapy; get his subconscious to be less of a dick.
But, that did nothing for his present conundrum, so he shelved it for later. Now, he had to figure out this lucid dream thing and how to wake up, despite not wanting to.
Start at the beginning, Nicky.
The beginning… He had been drifting through the haze at the edge of consciousness for a while. Warmer and more comfortable than he'd been in a very long time. There were a few sensations he wasn't familiar with and a delightful, sweet, earthy-spice scent in the air.
He was very familiar with the feel and texture of his couch. As it was more comfortable than his bed, he'd slept there many times. He could indulge in creating a nest and burrowing into it to sleep in all his foxy glory. He had vast experience in sleeping thus, so the weight on his arm and shoulder was alien to him, as was whatever had pinned his forepaw. It was out-rightly odd and a sensation he couldn't quite place, despite its distant familiarity.
It felt... squishy. As an experiment, he'd flexed his paw ever so gently and was rewarded with a new puzzle. What on earth gasped when you squeezed it? He tried it again and wasn't a gasp. This time it was a soft moan.
Whatever it was, it felt and sounded heavenly, and seemed to ooze. It slid simultaneously into his palm, across his chest and waist, and up under his chin. Delectable warmth seeped in everywhere it touched, and the scent got stronger, practically drenching his olfactory senses. This was accompanied by an odd, soft trilling and what some primal part of his brain told him could only have been nuzzling.
His mind slipped into what passed for wakefulness in this dream just as Judy's hind paw slid into the perfect position for teasing or torture. It was morning and he was a healthy reynard, Nick supposed. It made sense that he'd be aroused, especially since he had a female, a beautiful female he was hopeless over, resting her head on his shoulder, somewhere between wrapped around and straddling him.
Still firmly in dream territory then, and a very detailed one, but what the hell. Let's see what's next.
Nick settled in and enjoyed what his mind had supplied him. He savored the discomfortingly too-real feeling of her draped across him. Her weight, her warmth, even the nuzzling and the feel of her breath across his fur was better that he'd imagined it when he was conscious. The location of her foot was distracting, but Nick was determined not to miss the forest for what she was doing to his tree.
He languidly traced his paw pads down the curve of her side from her shoulder to her hip, tracing little lines with his claws. The dream-Judy seemed to enjoy this, as she arched into the touch and stretched again. Her body contoured to him as she nuzzled his neck and gripped gently at his chest with her paw. This was heaven. His heart was going to give out any second with how hard it was hammering at his ribs, but he'd die grinning from ear to ear. It was the sweetest dream he'd ever been lucid for.
The stretch rolled from her nuzzle down her body, until the hip resting in hip palm rolled. He reflexively gripped a little more firmly than he had previously and she gasped again. Such a delicious little sound.
In quick succession three things happened. Her hips rolled forward grinding against him, her leg continued her stretch and slid her foot along his length to the knot as she moaned into his chest.
Nick couldn't suppress the whimper that slipped between his teeth.
Then the dream took a turn he didn't expect. Carrots' huge, beautiful eyes opened and looked at him with all the love in the world, right before her little bunny fist bumped his jaw with the force of a sledgehammer.
Not a dream. Crap. Ow!
Nick rubbed his jaw and wondered, briefly, why his luck had turned so bipolar while his partner crawled up his body to get a look at the damage.
"Nick! I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" Carrots was looking down at him, her soft paws rubbing along his jawline in a way he found quite pleasant. Any more pleasant and he'd start doing the leg twitch canids were so well known for. He was already embarrassed at the prospect and the position he was in did him no favors, at least in the self-restraint department. Soft grey fur, acres more of it than he had any right to see, were on full display while she ran her paws across his muzzle. It was delightful and had to stop before he did anything monumentally stupid.
"I'm fine, Honey Bunny, especially with such a beautiful view." Judy blinked for a moment, before looking down at herself. Then, she was gone. The next thing Nick registered was the bathroom door slamming. So much for avoiding monumental stupidity…
Well done, genius. Next time, work in a leer. Maybe, lick your chops. Really capture the essence of "letch". Ugh…
He sighed and dragged himself out of the nest that had been his little slice of perfection, only moments before. He really had to get his head checked, followed by his luck. Waking up to lapin affection, followed by a jaw bruising and a show so good he'd nearly lost his fuzzy mind, now this. An offering to Karma would be good for his peace of mind, next festival, assuming he lived that long. Right now it was time for damage control.
He padded over to the bathroom door and knocked.
"Carrots? You ok?"
"Does embarrassed to death count as ok?" came the muffled reply.
"You're talking to me, so at least you aren't catatonic."
"Don't rule it out, Slick. I could still get there."
"You're being sarcastic and sound angry. I think my ribs are in more danger than your sanity." He wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a sob from the other side of the door.
Make that sarcastic, angry and very upset.
A long silence followed. It accompanied a sick feeling in his gut that grew as the silence did.
He had to break the spell of the moment, before it got any worse. He had enough to apologize for, already and letting her stew in her upsetment would only make it worse. Taking advantage of his partner's goodwill by pressuring her into cuddling with him, groping her in her sleep, taking advantage of her unintentional immodesty, compulsive smartassing… His behavior of late was reprehensible, extenuating circumstances or no. He knew he was in trouble now, and no amount of tasty treats were going to dig him out of this one.
He needed to think.
He headed to his bedroom to get ready for work. Maybe, she'd be willing to talk to him before they had to go in. They had plenty of time, even allowing for her needing to get home to change. As he was laying out his uniform he heard the bathroom door open, but before he could say anything Judy's voice came from the hall.
"Um, Nick? I'm gonna head out, now. I need to get, um, ready for work. And stuff. Seeyouthere. Bye!" Her farewell address was accompanied by receding footsteps toward his apartment door and punctuated by the thump of the door meeting the frame. She was gone.
It was at that moment that his alarm clock went off. The cherry on top.
Nick disliked mornings.
He shut off his alarm and left his morning preparations in favor of collecting his bottle of water and downing it on the heels of a painkiller. Screw jogging, and the rest of it. If this day was going to be a rollercoaster, he was going to enjoy the ride and you could never enjoy a rollercoaster when you were holding on.
It was too much. His work, Jack, this morning with Judy, his father and all the madness that came with him… He wasn't fully confident of where the dreams ended and reality started anymore. He'd been working his tail off with very little respite for ages. His last "vacation" had been a three-day weekend in Bunnyburrow as a plus one for Judy at yet another family wedding, months ago. He hadn't had a real break in… Too long to figure out. Aside from the occasional mental health day, or long weekend to visit the burrows, he'd been working practically nonstop since he joined the ZPD. Too long.
It was time to let go and just roll with it. He was due.
Something clicked in his head and he felt himself take half a step back from the world. What he said, how he said it, what he did and how he did it; none of it mattered. He'd lived both dreams and nightmares, and he'd had enough.
He showered quickly, dressed in his blues and headed out to a place he hadn't been to in ages, a tiny sandwich shop in the old neighborhood that was ancient when his parents had been young, called Cleopatra's Ladle. It specialized in the best kind of breakfast food; the kind that clogged your arteries and made your taste buds sing. He'd been craving cricketroll, turkey bacon and poutine for weeks. It was time to indulge.
Two hours later, he was very full of greasy goodness and satisfied at the flirting he'd accomplished with the proprietress. The forty-something pygmy hippo hadn't had the patience for him at first, but leaving her blushing and smiling left a good feeling in his stomach and elsewhere.
It'd been a little awkward when he'd been caught staring. By rights he should have left the place immediately, at speed, possibly with a broken muzzle, but that hadn't happened. Instead, he'd been recognized and gotten a side order of crispy crickets and some locust pepper poppers on the house, along with a little saucy (and confusing) innuendo. Forty minutes later, he was firing a wink at her as he slipped out the door, bill paid and a solid tip (enough to cover the extras and some) earning him a radiantly surprised smile. It felt good.
He'd gotten a little something extra and paid for it anyway. It was nice to get a freebie, but the look of fond exasperation that he'd gotten was worth more. Notoriety wasn't always a bad thing and goodwill was fostered through small acts of kindness. A free nibble or two wasn't much for him, but supporting a local business would help down the road. He'd have to stop in again soon.
The warm feeling, and the excessive amount of food he'd consumed, kept him in good spirits until he reached the plaza that hosted the ZPD. It was mobbed with reporters, photographers and newsmedia personalities. Not a welcome sight.
Nick kept a low profile and skirted the crowd. The last thing he needed was to get bombarded with questions. It wasn't that he disliked reporters. They were just doing their jobs, for the most part, but he'd had enough media attention for a life time and then some. Mostly thanks to Judy.
Mostly.
Thanks to that first, horrid press conference things had not gone well, and not just for their burgeoning friendship. Damning accusations of speciesism were hurled both at her personally and the ZPD. Questions about the nature of their interactions in front of the press were hurled at him; a fox menacing a rabbit officer. The months of civil unrest it sparked and the shame she must have felt resulted in her resignation and cowardly flight to Bunnyburrow with her tail between her legs. He'd never asked about that time, but he'd paid attention to the media coverage, out of morbid curiosity. It wasn't like he had a choice. She was the first mammal in a very long time to see past his fur to the mammal beneath. That didn't fade.
She was unforgettable.
It didn't help that his face had been splashed across the airwaves, next to newscasters and printed in news articles all over the city. He was forced into an extended vacation (at bat point courtesy of his cantankerous midget of a partner) and had to take a pass on hustling for several weeks, until the attention died down. It's hard to run cons when everyone knows your name on sight. It didn't help matters that when he thought about his former activities he couldn't help but think of a certain doe rabbit. Hard to play the game when you can't focus.
Months later there was the Bellweather confession where she was injured in the pursuit of the truth and justice, side by side with him, no less; one of the very predators she supposedly found so distasteful. Just to top it off, she had been involved with predator rights groups, tolerance activists and the Interspecies Harmony Movement since her return. She even worked with Gazelle on part of the 'Love Conquers' rally at the end of her Burning Mammal concert. She was the darling of the City Hall public relations machine. They could not get enough of her.
Unfortunately, he was tangled up with her inescapably and they loved him just as much, if not more. He was the classic bad-boy-turned-good, to compliment her fallen-and-then-reformed hero. He was a con-artist with dubious but unconfirmed connections all over the city; a pure-blood big city lowlife, and a fox to boot. He was everything that the good mammals of the city loathed and feared.
Then, there he was in the news footage, carrying her out of the Museum of Natural History to the paramedics, with her smiling up at him, arms around his neck. Within an hour, his involvement in the events of the day were out. Everymammal learned how he had helped her trick Bellweather into talking, coming up with the plan to do it, and using his wit and wiles for the good of the city. He had bandaged her injured leg and refused to leave her behind, despite her request that he do so.
After that came the news of his admission to the Academy, her specific request for him as her partner, his graduation as valedictorian and the cherry on the cake was the picture of her pinning his badge on his chest at the graduation ceremony. A photo he'd had framed.
That picture made the front page for weeks. The first day or two was the announcement of his graduation and some related background stories, but the tenor of the writing changed quickly from the success of the MII to the relationship of the two mammals depicted. The reports on their relationship ranged from the inappropriately speculative to blatantly fabricated. Somehow, they'd dug up something of their reconciliation during the Nighthowler case and that they had been in touch throughout his time at the academy. The rumors and speculation on a possible romantic aspect to their relationship had been a major nuisance for the first few months of their partnership. Eventually, Bogo had to intercede both with the press and City Hall to calm things down.
Since then, the attention had been less overt, but it wasn't gone. He was under no illusions. It was only a matter of time before another media storm. He suspected that the mayor would be the one to cause it, too. Only an idiot would think otherwise and if there was one thing Nicolas P. Wilde was not, it was an idiot. He just hoped that this press mob wasn't there on his account.
Nick slipped through a side door by the motor pool. No one was fussed at the breech of protocol. The door was only supposed to be used by the maintenance and motor pool staff, but if an officer or two used it to manage a discrete entrance (or escape from their boss) on occasion, no one remarked upon it. This was especially the case on days when the media was at the gate.
The badger, capybara and two deer that worked in that section of the building were tolerant of passersby. They often received waves in passing from the transient mammals. The ones that could free their hands from their work waved back. They were quiet mammals and good at their jobs. Despite the grease and dirt that never completely scrubbed out of their fur, they were very orderly, neat and tidy in their workspace. Nick enjoyed visiting them. They were always appreciative of company, and he usually brought treats or good humor to boot. Their workshop was usually a bastion of order and sanity, if not always quiet. For them, every day was just another day. Business as usual.
Except for today. As Nick trotted through the main maintenance bay, he waved per usual. In return, he received a smirk and a wink from the badger and one of the deer gave him a thumbs-up, while the other two chuckled and nudged each other like grade school cubs. It was still early-ish, so the fact that they were taking a load off wasn't too unusual. That didn't explain their atypical behavior. Unfortunately, time was against him, so Nick had to pass on solving that mystery, for now. Maybe later he'd do a little recreational interrogating.
He continued through the halls, turning heads with irritating regularity. Apparently, it was Stare-At-The-Fox Day and no one had told him. Ignoring the twits, he made his way to the atrium and the front desk, where he found another peculiar sight.
Benjamin Clawhauser was actually still. Still as in occupying a single location sans movement. Even when the feline was standing in one spot, some part of him was always in motion. He would dance around, pace in place, wiggle, fiddle with something... even when he was looking at his phone, filing paperwork, or typing. It was creepy, until you got used to it. The gregarious ball of fluff was never not moving. Nick suspected he even danced in his sleep. Possibly as a result of all the sugar he regularly consumed.
Another thing that caught Nick's eye, or more significantly his nose, was that his coffee was untouched and had made it past the actively-steaming point. Clawhauser never let his coffee cool. He liked it hot and sweet and it was usually gone before it was cool enough to not infuse the area with the scent of sugar, chocolate and whipped diabeetus. All he could smell was the regular AC tainted air of the building and the cup was obviously full, as the pile of whipped cream poking out the top attested.
The cheetah was staring at his phone, mouth agape. The only movement he was managing to accomplish was a single tap to the smartphone screen every 30 seconds.
Nick watched the creepily metronomic action for a few minutes. He didn't want to break whatever spell was going on, but eventually his curiosity won out.
"Morning, Ben."
No reaction.
"Claws? Hey, Claws! Wake up!"
Nothing.
"I just saw Gazelle in the halls. She was naked and juggling goslings."
A blink. At least that was something.
Nick opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Judy's surprisingly ebullient voice, followed by an impact to his ribs.
"Morning, partner!"
There was a moment of confused joy and relief that Nick enjoyed, before the world was dark, wet and warmer than he was comfortable with. Everything was muffled.
"Nick! Are you ok?"
"I'm soaked. And I have a cup the size of a bucket on my head." He removed the offending, now empty, container and looked down at himself. Fortunately, the whipped cream had ended up on the floor. Unfortunately, the liquid candy that Clawhauser called his morning coffee had ended up on him. Once immaculate and professional, he was now soggy. Soaked to the skin, more accurately, in liquefied sugar.
Am I dreaming again?
"I feel like a cruller."
Before anyone could remark on his absurd response to the situation, the heavens spoke.
"Hopps! Wilde! Savage!"
Nick didn't even bother looking up. His arms flopped wetly to his sides and he chuckled. Everything else about the last twenty four hours was surreal. Why not have a meeting with his furious CO, the partner who woke him up with a haymaker then hugged him, and the VIP who tried to perform a bar room tonsillectomy on him? Indeed, why not?
A smile spread across his face. Nick took a moment to shake himself, as wet canines do, showering the area around him with sugary bean-juice, with just a hint of musk.
A delightful blend… wet canid, fox musk and saccharine coffee; demonic cologne at its finest. I sound like a commercial. This dream has way too many weird twists in it.
A smile spread across his face. "Hey, Ben? Give housekeeping a call for me, would ya? Oh! And put up a couple hazard cones? I'd clean up, but I don't want to keep the boss waiting. Thanks, buddy." Now slightly less sopping, but still gently dripping, he strode off to the elevators.
Every single mammal in the atrium was watching them; him and his little grey companions. He was used to it. The quiet tension in the air was something he wasn't used to anymore. Since putting on the uniform, the looks hadn't been rife with such… speculation. Once upon a time, the populace of a room would be wondering what he'd planned to steal, or what he'd stolen, considering it was a police station. Now, he wasn't quite sure what they were staring for. There were so many possibilities, but none fit completely. Oh, well. He would know in a few minutes.
Flirting with Savage on the way up was fun and oddly satisfying, especially when Judy got all huffy. It was nice to tweak both their ears; his for the month of bad behavior and emotional bombardment, and hers for her punch and poof act and the super hug follow up this morning. Mixed signals, he could handle, but this was well beyond "mixed." More like maniacal.
He felt buoyant and cheeky as he strolled off the elevator. Judy scampered up to him, asking if he was ok. The "Honey Bunny, I'm amazing and if you're a good little doe, you'll find out how amazing first hand, " earned him a bop on the arm and made Loopy drop the first of his owed coffees.
"Sorry, big guy. It doesn't count until it's in my paw. Try again tomorrow!" Nick patted the wolf's arm as he passed.
At the door to what was usually imminent doom, Nick tapped out a ditty with his knuckles and the door swung open. Bogo's silence was not unusual, or unexpected, nor was the baring of teeth that he used in place of a smile when he was truly angry. Nick helped Judy up to their usual spots in what he lovingly called "The Hot Seat". Judy was a bundle of nerves and Jack was struggling to remain inscrutable in the other chair. It was cute, really.
Bogo remained silent as he turned the monitor and hit play. A short eternity later, he spoke.
"Explain."
The silence was deafening. Judy had found her feet at some point and the two rabbits could have passed for statues. It all made sense; the media, the stares, the unusual greetings and well wishes.
Maybe I could use them for bookends. Nick's snickering broke the stalemate.
"You find this humorous, Officer Wilde?" Bogo said with a sickly sweet, deceptively light tone.
Dream or not… "Sir, after what I've been through, it's either laugh, or cry."
The water buffalo rocked back slightly with a considering expression. It was unusual for Wilde to be quite so impudent and what he said did carry a lot of truth. The fox had been through a lot of late, especially with the family connection and it was only to be expected that he was suffering for it. His attitude was still concerning. There was usually at least a little edge to the vulpine even on his off days. Now, he felt… vague, bordering on disconnected. Not good. He hated to do it, but erring on the side of his officers' mental health was the wise course of action. Today, Wilde was getting a free pass. But only for today.
"Yes, Wilde. I can understand that." Bogo shelved the many acerbic thoughts that came with his decision before blowing out a rumbling breath. The bovine's hoof pinched the bridge of his snout for a moment, already regretting his choice. "This is a disaster."
"Chief? I think I'm a little out of the loop, here." Judy piped up, anxiety and tension etched in every syllable.
"Hopps, this clip was posted to EweTube early this morning by a, now former, security technician employed by The Palm Hotel. He posted it as a teaser in hopes of selling the rest of the video. He is now facing civil and criminal charges. The rest of the video is in our custody." He paused to sigh and run his hoof across his features. "But, the damage was done. Roughly two hours ago it went viral and has been plastered across the airwaves since. It's a media frenzy and it centers around you and your partner. I've had interview requests from a dozen sources including ZNN, ZBN, ABZ, Radio 2, Vixenswear Daily and Playbuck Magazine."
"We have two ins with Playbuck." Nick chimed in, receiving three glares in return. "Just saying."
"Sir, I'm sorry, but I still don't understand," Judy continued. Her ears were down and her eyes were huge. She needed a hug.
Rein it in, Nicky.
"What's not to understand? The media has footage of you kissing Wilde. 'The darlings of Zootopia are finally together'," Bogo responded in sarcastic saccharine falsetto.
"That isn't me, sir!"
"Oh, I know, Officer Hopps." The sarcasm remained unabated. "The rabbit in that clip is none other than the Honorable J. Savage Esq., but the press don't know that. They don't want to know that."
"But...?" Judy all but screeched in indignation.
"They see a grey rabbit with black tipped ears kissing a fox and the video quality does nothing to clarify that. The front desk mammals were interviewed before we could reach them. They confirmed that you were escorted to the bar and that you were wearing dark clothes. No one saw you leave. Nick went in later and "joined you." The rest is easy assumption."
"Then we just have to correct their assumption!" she almost barked.
"They'll never believe it." Jack's hollow voice cut through the air.
"Oh? And why not, Jack?" Judy's impatience and anger at the other rabbit was crystal clear.
"Because I'm Jack Savage. Who would believe the truth, especially with such a desirable alternative explanation?" Jack's tone was resigned, bordering on the funerary. Nick and Bogo's surprise at his tone was not shared by Judy.
"Well isn't that just perfect?" Judy visibly forced herself to calm down. "So what do we do?"
"The media relations group is preparing a response that will hopefully address this in a way that will mitigate the damage." Bogo's unhappiness at delivering the news was palpable.
"Mitigate it how?" Judy practically growled.
"Something like you reacted to a potential threat under pressure, or attempting to evade surveillance while undercover, or something like that." Nick chimed in.
"So instead of him being outed, I'm publicly incompetent."
"Not incompetent, Hopps. No one is saying that. I will make sure that no one comes to such a conclusion." Bogo assured.
"I just can't believe this is happening." The waiver in her voice was unmistakable.
"That's the way the cookie crumbles, Hopps. I'm not any happier about it." Jack said.
"You're not happy? Why? You're getting off scot-free and I'm taking the hit!"
"It was my indiscretion and it should be my problem, but it isn't." Jack's tension and volume were rising. Not much, but enough to be noticed.
"Suddenly, you're concerned about professionalism?"
"Hopps!" Bogo cut in before the spat got out of hand. Judy forced herself to turn to Bogo and stand at attention, all the while quivering with emotion. "I realize this is not an ideal situation, but finger pointing will not help."
"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir," she bit out.
"I know, Hopps. I want to deal with this less than I want to lie naked in a bathtub full of rusty razor blades and lemon juice." The buck and doe both grimaced at that particular mental image.
"That is a whole new kind of kink, sir. I didn't know you had it in you," quipped the reynard.
"I have a stapler and you have lips, Wilde. Consider that carefully," Bogo ground out. "I will address this media situation and deal with City Hall. We need you three out of sight until the frenzy dies down."
"The three of us, sir?" Nick asked, confused. "If they think Judy and I kissed on camera, shouldn't she and I stay off the radar? Jack isn't a part of it; not in that respect, anyway."
"While I agree with you, I am electing to play it safe. I don't want any media types seeing him around and getting the brilliant idea to suggest that he was the grey rabbit, not Hopps."
"Even if it's the truth?" Judy spat back, indignant.
"Especially, because it is," Bogo replied through gritted teeth. "Hopps, I appreciate your position and I am trying to help. The truth right now will do anything but that."
"May I ask how the truth will make things worse?"
"Oh, Honey Bunny, your naiveté is showing," Nick crooned. Bogo and Judy turned to him, wide eyed with incredulity at his informality. It was now obvious he was not well. "The media is losing their minds at the thought of you and me kissing. What do you think they'd do if they found out it was a different rabbit? A buck, no less?"
"It'd only get worse." Judy's realization would have been so cute under other circumstances.
"Bingo! They'd have a whole new angle to pursue. Can you make the next step on your own, Officer Hopps?" Nick chirped as he crossed his ankles and tossed his hands behind his head.
She was silent in horror at the possibilities.
"I'll help you. Try adding the fact that it's the world famous Jack Savage in the video and what happens?"
"City hall explodes," Bogo muttered.
"The paparazzi go insane," Jack chimed in, taking off his sunglasses. The other mammals in the room cringed upon seeing the state of his eyes. Even Judy, despite her righteous anger at the other rabbit felt a pang of sympathetic pain at how rough Jack must have felt.
"And that's just the start." The other three mammals looked at the fox again, this time with varying degrees of fear, anticipation and resignation across their features.
"How long do you think it will be before some tabloid reporter gets the idea that we're in the great soap opera cliché, the love triangle, and runs with it?" His audience was stricken and pale-eared, so he continued. "Or perhaps a ménage-a-trois…?" Judy was steadying herself on the back of the chair and Jack had elected to sit before he fell over.
It took a few minutes, but Bogo managed to regain his voice. "That settles it. Out of sight, out of mind. You three need to disappear."
Nick couldn't resist, "Let me just whip out my magic wand."
"We don't have time for innuendo, Wilde," Jack shot back.
"You'd love it if he did, though, wouldn't you?" Judy sniped in.
"It's like dealing with the Manx Brothers..." Bogo groused, mostly to himself.
Nick waggled an eyebrow in response and tugged at his still-wet lapel, "Let me get out of these wet clothes and into a dry nip-tini."
"Thank you, Croucho." Color had returned to the Chief's face and force to his voice. "You three are going to make yourselves scarce for the next three days while I dig us out of this dung pile. Maybe longer. Not a word, Wilde! I've already checked with HR. You both have plenty of vacation time to burn."
"Where will we go?" Judy asked. Life was returning to everyone slowly after their shock.
I'd best speed it along. Time to play the goad and punching bag.
"Carrots, if you say your place, I'll make breadbox jokes until we're all dead."
Bogo cut in before Nick could continue. "Your apartments are a no go. I've received reports that reporters are staking out both of your residences."
"The Palm is out, too. Too high profile," Jack added. He was sounding livelier, too. Good. "And too many cameras."
"I have a place we could go." The looks Nick received were encouraging. "Don't look at me like that. It's entirely aboveboard, discreet and off the usual radar, complete with an appropriate price-tag."
"Where?" The suspicion was obvious in the buffalo's voice.
"Do you really want to know, sir?"
Bogo opened his mouth, but Nick cut in, "Plausible deniability?" His mouth snapped shut.
A moment's thought later, Bogo relented. "Fine. The location is off-books. You will stay in touch at least twice daily. I'll keep you appraised. Savage, I presume that your people will assist with damage control and expenses?"
"Of course. Whatever the agency doesn't cover, I will personally." The Tiger Bunny was getting more tiger in him by the second. Nick was pleased.
"Good." Bogo looked from one mammal to the other, taking mental notes. "What else do we need?"
"I need clothes," Judy chimed in. Nick could see the wheels finally turning for her.
Keep them thinking.
"We both do," Jack replied. "Toiletries and personal effects, as well."
"Wilde?" Bogo was looking to him for answers. Perfect. Now he had he become the answer mammal for this farcical salvage operation. Time to go to work.
Just keep their irritation focused on you. Not each other. Then, use their attention.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have a closet of guest's nighties," Judy blushed as her fist found her hip, Jack rolled his eyes and Bogo face palmed. "There is a clothes shop near the place I have in mind that accommodates medium and small-sized mammals. It isn't cheap, but it'll solve our nudity problem."
"And the toiletries?" Judy prompted.
"Just make a list. I'll have them delivered once we arrive. Dietary preference, as well."
"I'll cover expenses in the short term. The Chief and I can figure that out after we get this situation in the past-tense," Jack supplied.
"Fine," Bogo boomed. "Now, I don't care where you're going or what you do. Just stay away from cameras and in contact with us here. No talking to anything that might want to interview you. Now. Get. Out."
"Ooh! Poultrygeist, 1982!" That vein on Bogo's forehead was beginning to throb.
"Savage, Hopps, please get the fox out of here," Bogo ground out.
And there she blows! Just like clockwork.
"Hah! I see what you did there!" Judy grabbed his tie and almost bodily dragged him out of the chair. Nick felt a paw on his back, pushing him towards the door as soon as he regained his feet.
"Just a moment! Before I forget, make sure you get receipts for everything purchased during this little traipse off the radar. Oh, and Wilde?"
"Yes, oh mighty evil one?" The phone in Bogo's hoof groaned under the pressure of his grip.
"I presume you have clothes to change into?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Good. Get cleaned up. You smell like a candy store belched."
"Absolutely, sir!"
The lapin pressure reasserted itself on his neck and back and Nick was guided firmly towards, and out of, the office door.
"Hehe! I'm a foxwurst between two wry buns!" As the stress dissipated, he couldn't keep the silly in.
The pressure on his tie and back increased, but despite their increased speed, Nick did not miss the pink tint in Judy's ears, or the gripping of Jack's paw, any more than he missed the Chief's booming into the intercom, as they receded down the hall.
"Clawhauser!"
"The Red Panda death pepper special level 6, sir?" came the cheetah's voice through the tinny speaker.
"Level 8. And some kimchi stew, heavy on the gochujang. And the Pepper Mandu Special! And the scallion pancakes!"
"Sir, your wife will kill you if you get the pancakes."
"Only if she finds out, and she'd have to get in line. Oh, and get a housekeeping detail up here. Wilde's leaving a trail."
Nick managed to hold in his chuckling at the overheard conversation until they were away from the door, but once they were a safe distance down the hall, he had to stop. He leaned against the wall and laughed, while the two rabbits looked on.
After a few minutes, the laughter petered out.
Jack was the first to break the silence. "Are you ever serious, Wilde?"
"When it's necessary," Nick breathed through his smile.
"And unless humor serves a purpose," Judy commented. "It's what you were doing, wasn't it?"
"That's my Carrots," Nick replied with a smile. "Jack, do you really think we'd have a plan like this so quickly, if I hadn't managed the atmosphere in there? We didn't have time for an in-depth analysis, so I kept everyone annoyed with me, so they'd pay attention when I spoke and I could keep the conversation moving. We didn't have time for everyone to vent or spat, or grouse. I cut it to the bones before the momentum got going and now we have something we can work with."
"Still, it was hardly professional…" the buck chided.
"You're lecturing him on professionalism after how you've treated him since you got here?" Judy cut in.
"I realize I was out of line, but extenuating circumstances…"
"…aren't an excuse!"
"I've apologized for my behavior, Hopps, and it isn't your concern, but Wilde's."
"He's my partner, so his treatment is my concern."
"Lapins. Lapins, please!" Jack and Judy turned near identical death glares Nick's way. "Woof! Double barrel angry adorable."
"Wilde, I will end you," Judy's threat did little to hide the pink in her ears.
"You love me and you know it."
"Some days, I wonder," came the grumbled reply.
"Save some for me, would you?" Jack chimed in.
"Which of us are you asking?" Nick retorted with a saucy smirk.
Jack sputtered and Judy ignored him. "He was my partner first, Savage."
"You want to be kits arguing over a toy? Fine. I kissed him first! So there!"
Nick was highly amused by this point and was about to comment, when he found himself on his knees. Judy had wrapped her left leg around his right, just behind the knee, and planted her foot. The joint buckled and it forced him to kneel. She grabbed his tie and used it to guide his muzzle into a collision course with hers. Their lips met and for a second time in less than a day, a rabbit kissed him. Hard.
This is definitely a dream. Oh, Karma help me… did I drink the schnapps?
He clawed his way back to what passed for coherence in time to catch the tail end of Jack sputtering, "What was that?"
"We're even!"
"Good grief, doe…"
While they were squabbling, Bogo stomped up to the trio. He elected to ignore the absurdly suggestive situation for the sake of what little sanity he retained.
"Hopps, I have a request," Bogo rumbled, quietly.
"What do you want me to do?" Her trepidation was not missed by any of the three males.
"I just got off the phone with the PR team. You are free to refuse, but I'm asking for the sake of burying this a little more quickly."
She considered it for a moment and nodded. "Go on."
"The press are convinced that it was you in the video, so I would ask you to join me at the press conference. Your presence would add a lot of support to the story and cement it." Seeing her expression, he hurried to add, "You won't need to say anything. Just be present and look professional."
"What about Officer Wilde?"
"In his state?" The three functional mammals took in Nick's dazed, bordering on drunk visage. Given his earlier behavior, getting him to function decently, let alone professionally, was a long shot. After what just happened, however, gods only knew what he'd do.
"Point." Judy conceded.
"That would help add authenticity in the eyes of the public," Jack mused. "Just have her wear a dark suit and it'll look even more plausible."
"Not a bad idea," Nick said, as he regained his feet with all the grace of a dizzy giraffe and turned to the buck. "Got one in her size?"
"I'm not a wandering tailor, Wilde." Jack snapped.
"No, but you are about her size, Agent Savage…" Bogo mused.
"I don't have anything here to change into and I'm not going starkers." The last half of his statement was followed by a hard side-eye at the fox who was quietly murmuring 'starkers' and sniggering to himself, before he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at the buck.
"Hopps, do you another set of clothing?" Bogo inquired.
"I have workout clothes?" Judy replied uncertainly.
"Absolutely not," Jack was adamant… Until Nick spoke.
"You were in full support of this a moment ago, Savage. What happened? Afraid to put your wardrobe where your mouth is?"
Some minutes and lots of lagomorphic griping later, Nick found himself stepping out of the shower and toweling off in the males' locker room. Shortly after Nick's jeans found their proper place, Jack walked in. The chief had taken the opportunity Nick's shower had presented to discuss the situation with Jack, and Jack's boss. It evidently went well, as Jack appeared no worse for wear.
"So, Tiger Bunny, how'd it go?"
"Well enough. The Director doesn't appear to care. The presumption of the press that Judy was me in that clip is apparently all the damage control he feels is necessary. As long as we reinforce it, it should stick and that's that. He greenlighted the emergency funds necessary to handle the logistical portion of this op."
"Can I get that in a language that mammals understand…?"
Jack's annoyance was palpable as he replied to the fox's flippancy, "I still have my job, my boss OK'd the money for transportation and accommodations for our little vacation and he's left it in my paws to handle as I see fit."
"He didn't comment on your almost being outed?"
"He's much like your chief," Jack commented, as he started to disrobe. "His exact words were "My policy is 'don't ask, don't care.' Just deal with it.""
"You want me to give you some privacy, Tiger Bunny?" Nick quipped, as he slid his T-shirt over his head and tucked it into his jeans.
"Stop being ridiculous, Wilde." His jacket and tie were already draped over the canid's bench.
"I'm not being ridiculous. I'm being considerate."
"Unnecessary. We're both males. There's nothing to be uncomfortable with." Jacks paws fumbled with the buttons of his shirt.
"I'm perfectly comfortable, Tiger Bunny. You're the one getting naked in front of the reynard you surprise tongue-wrestled last night." Jack's paws slowed on his shirt buttons as the words sank in.
A breath rattled out of Jack as his bravado wavered and the emotion was impossible to miss as he spoke. "On second thought, you're right. Some privacy would be appropriate and appreciated."
As Jack picked up a towel and headed for the shower stalls, Nick mentally berated himself. That was not what he'd intended to do. He'd struggled to keep everything as light as he could manage and that was a really effective downer. The emotional turbulence was evidently infectious and he was not immune. He pensively collected the already discarded articles of clothing and walked to the only occupied stall in the shower area.
"Hey, Savage. I'm sorry. That came out a lot worse than I intended."
"Oddly enough, Wilde, I figured as much. I'm not upset."
"For a secret agent, you're lousy at lying."
"For an ex-conmammal, you're lousy at reading marks."
"Wow. Tiger Bunny's letting out the claws…" A weak chuckle drifted out from behind the curtain, in response. "So… If you aren't upset at my tactlessness, what is it?" Nick had to keep him talking. Silence would only stymie action and they didn't have time to wrangle an emotionally catatonic rabbit.
"If you must know, Wilde. I'm embarrassed."
"At what? You said it yourself. We're both males. Nothing to be ashamed of."
"Bloody hells, you're impossible. I know you know better and don't pretend otherwise."
"I'd never."
"Like hells you wouldn't, Red. You'd do it for a laugh, in a heartbeat, just like you're feigning ignorance now, to keep me talking."
"Ok. You got me. You're still answering my question. What are you embarrassed about?"
"Must I?"
"Oh, you must." Nick started to sing along to the Lords of Catnip. "I must! I must! I must increase my MMMH!" Jack's paw slapped down on Nick's muzzle, vicelike, holding it closed.
Jack was standing there in his boxers, ears down and tension rolling through his frame. "I know what you're doing, Wilde, and while it's appreciated, it's unnecessary." As he spoke, his paw fell away and he refused to meet Nick's eyes.
"Necessary or not, It's happening. Now, why are you embarrassed?" Nick's tone betrayed nothing.
"Do I really need to say it?"
"It's that or you can stand there in your skivvies. Nice print, by the way. Maple leaves?"
The smile in Jack's voice was small, but present. "Impossible fox."
"Glad you've caught on. Now, you know you need to say it, just to get it off your chest."
"I'm ashamed of my behavior and my treatment of you since we met, my frightful behavior last night, and the consequences we're enduring because of my poor handling of the situation." Jack finally looked up and faced the fox. "I owe you many apologies and… I'm sorry, but I don't know where to begin."
"Then, let's just say your apologies are accepted and let's deal with the mess." To say that Jack's expression was disbelieving would be an understatement.
Nick ran his paws through his head fur and over his ears. "Listen, Jack. I'm not going to pretend that this situation isn't a pain in the tail, but nothing will be gained by me holding a grudge. We have enough to figure out and I don't have the energy to spare on being angry at you. To be honest, you don't deserve it. You're hurting and I said it last night, I won't let you suffer alone, but don't think you're off the hook. You have stories to tell and that 'classified' stuff won't fly with me. Understood?"
"Understood." Relief had replaced the apprehension in Jack's face.
"Good. Now, give me your pants." Nick smiled at Jack's discomfiture, as he handed over the last garment he needed.
"Thank you."
"Sit tight, Jack-jack. I'll be back in a bit with your substitute clothes." Nick strode from the room, leaving a rabbit unsure of how he was supposed to react. He wasn't forgiven, but it was more than he had any right to hope for. As Nick walked down the hall, he missed Jack sinking to the floor, a smile on his muzzle as tears rolled down his cheeks and for once, he didn't mind.
Nick rapped his knuckles on the door to the female's locker room and called in, "Carrots? You in there?"
In response, Judy walked out the door and cocked an eyebrow at her partner.
"Yes, oh Carrots, my Carrots?"
"You took your time."
"Jealous, Fluff?" Her glare intensified from displeased to deadly. She didn't even dignify the question with a response, electing instead to slap her clothes into his chest and pulling the suit from his paw.
Nick Looked over what Judy claimed were 'workout clothes' and a lascivious grin spread across his muzzle. Calling the bottoms shorts would be generous. "Wow, Carrots? Really? These barely count as clothes."
Pouting and hiding her red ears was the only response he received, so he continued. "So, why haven't I seen you in these?"
"If your leer is anything to go by, I'm glad you haven't."
"Awww. I thought you liked my leer."
"If you want a show, Jack'll be in them soon enough." She was being positively petulant.
"Oh it'll be a show alright, but not the one I'm interested in. Still, I could use the laugh." Nick knew when to walk away, and given her crankiness it was time to make tracks.
Nick made his way back to the males' locker room and found Jack already in the shower stall. He handed the clothes through the curtain and waited for the inevitable reaction.
"Oh bloody hells, no. She cannot be serious."
"It's all we've got, Tiger Bunny!" Nick replied, barely restraining his laughter. "Hop to it!"
"This isn't funny, Red."
"You're right. It's hilarious. And who are you calling "Red"? Are we doing nicknames, now?"
"Do you ever stop with them?"
"Oh, it's constant for me, but it's usually only me."
"I suppose you'll just have to adapt."
"Speaking of adaptation, how's your camouflage coming?"
"I believe this is the most horrifying outfit I've ever worn and that includes when I was undercover as a monitor lizard bellhop."
That statement gave Nick pause. "Ok. One, you're telling that story later. Two, get out here, so we can get this over with."
"I'm not leaving this room."
"Oh, but you are."
"I'll sleep here."
"Not happening."
"I'll go nude."
"An indecent exposure arrest is a better option?"
"...no..."
"Then out you come!"
"Blast."
A minute or two passed and there was still no movement. "Come out Tiger Bunny." Nick's amusement was only growing.
"No." …As was Jack's desperation.
"If you don't come out, I'll have to come in."
The threat made Jack panic and blurt out, "Couldn't you just eat me?"
Nick was surprised, but didn't miss a beat. "I don't eat rabbit. Foxes haven't for centuries."
"Hopps wouldn't mind." Jack was nearing hysteria and flailing horribly.
Nick wasn't buying it for a second. "Neither would you, now get out here."
The curtain slid open and all Nick could manage for several minutes was to slip in an occasional inhalation between fits of laughter. As if the sequined, hot pink Gazelle tank top wasn't enough, the bright orange terrycloth booty shorts with "Bunny-licious" across the rump stole the show. He had to admit Jack didn't look bad, except for the massive grump all over his face. The death glare accompanying said grump did nothing to stop Nick's levity.
"You aren't making this any easier, Wilde."
"Not in the job description, Agent Fuzz, but I do know what will help you feel better."
Resignation dripped from Jack's voice as he gave in to Nick's comment. "Fine. Get it over with."
"You look great in those shorts."
Jack dope-slapped Nick in passing, as he made his way to the locker room door.
Nick laughed. "It's a little early to be hitting on me, Tiger Bunny. At least wait until we get home." Jack's progress stalled at the comment and Nick snickered. He made his way past the rabbit and out to the hallway, heading to where Judy and Bogo were supposed to meet them, in the bullpen.
On his way, Nick passed the main foyer area and saw several members of the housekeeping staff hard at work, trying to get his puddle off the floor and the spray off the walls and desk. It was something of a losing battle, as the more they mopped, the more it spread around. The sugar had quickly saturated the mop water and now, they were putting down as much as they were getting up. Clawhauser hovered around bemoaning his lost coffee and apologizing to the beleaguered mop-wielders.
As he passed, Nick couldn't help but start singing "Pour Some Sugar On Me", by Deaf Leopard, which alerted the fretting cheetah to his presence. He was promptly waylaid by Clawhauser, who began machine-gunning apologies the moment Nick was in vocal range. The effusive spiel and offers for compensation only sputtered to a halt when Jack passed where the two predators were talking.
Clawhauser's jaw wobbled to a stop, only to hang open, as the diminutive lagomorph walked by. Nick didn't miss Claw's ogling any more than he missed the glances to see if Nick was seeing the same thing. Yeah. Jack looked good, especially from behind. Nick waggled his eyebrows at the cheetah and left him standing there dumbfounded and red cheeked.
This just keeps getting better!
Upon entering the bullpen, it was Nick's turn to stall out, as he saw his partner. While Jack looked good, if fabulously humorous, in Judy's clothes, Judy looked intimidatingly hot in Jack's suit. Where Jack was slightly taller and lean, her shorter, curvier build made up for the lost height in all kinds of ways that drew the eye. The red highlights in the cloth caught the light and shimmered over her contours and made her eyes seem darker and more intense.
When her eyes found his, a shiver danced down his spine all the way to the tip of his tail, which bristled slightly. She padded quickly over to him and grabbed his arm. "Officer Wilde, may I have a word with you, please?"
She dragged him out to the hallway, passing Jack in the process. Nick was barely aware enough to see Judy's eyes grow at seeing Jack in her clothes. Laughter sparkled in her eyes for a moment, before being squelched. Possibly saved for later.
Judy dragged him down the hall for a few paces, before turning to him and pinning him with a stare that could melt steel.
"Ok, Nick. Spill."
"What are you talking about, Carrots?"
"Don't play coy. You've been acting weird all morning. You barely reacted to getting doused with coffee. You were flippant with the chief. You're flirting with Jack...!"
"I flirt with everyone!"
"And that's the problem!"
"That's how I behave normally, fluff. How is that me behaving weirdly?"
"It isn't!"
"You've lost me, Carrots."
"Rrrrrrrrgh!"
"Whoa! Easy! You claim I'm acting oddly, fine! I am, but why are you so angry?"
"I... ugh... first things first. What is going on with you?"
"Fluff, this time yesterday Jack humiliated me in front of the whole day shift and the chief. I thought he was a douche and couldn't stand him."
"So what happened?"
"Since then? I know I visited Finn and Honey. After that, I'm not sure how much of it was a dream."
"I- You really think you're dreaming?"
"Let's see… I was kissed by Jack Savage after he told me my dad was a super spy, not a deadbeat drunk, then I woke up with the famous Judy L. Hopps wrapped around me. She then punched me before hightailing it, and yet I got my morning hug like nothing happened. Then the video and Bogo didn't destroy me… It's just... It's all so fantastical. I think I'm having a bad reaction to the shellfish I had with Honey and this is a really intense fever dream while I'm dying in the hospital. That, or reality has sprung a leak. I'm having a little trouble, here, Carrots."
"I, uh... What a mess," she stammered in response.
"To say the least."
Fidgeting and blushing horribly, for reasons Nick couldn't grasp, Judy asked, "So what are you going to do?"
"Save my psychotic breakdown for later?" The glare he received made him take a step back and holds his hands up to placate the nearly rabid rabbit. "I kid! I kid. Carrots, I'm joking. What am I going to do now? Get us to my safe house."
"Safe house?"
"Yes. Safe. House. A house that is safe," he snarked back.
"You need new material."
"Shhh. After that ..."
"Hold up there, slick. Where is this 'house that is safe'?"
"It's someplace you'll like."
"Where. Is. It?"
"It's in the Nox, Carrots."
"And you own it, maybe...?"
"Karma, help me..." he sighed. "Yes, it's one of my properties."
"So I'll meet a few more of your philanthropic beneficiaries...?"
"Wipe that rapacious smirk off your muzzle. You're a rabbit, not a fox."
"I could have a little fox in me..."
There was so much he could say to that, but now was not the time. Nick just managed to swallow a groan, covering his interest with not so feigned shock. Widened eyes blinked rapidly at his partner. "And you say I'm acting unusually..." Judy giggled in response. "You do realize that isn't helping convince me this isn't a dream, right, Carrots?"
"So, after...?" she promoted.
"After we escape the Precinct, we go to the safe house and lie low for a while. That's plenty of time for me to collect on my debt."
"Debt...?"
"Jack's promised me information on my dad. "
"Oh. Of course." Annoyed jealousy was undisguised in her voice, but Nick pretended not to hear it. "You're going to pump him for information...?" It was clear she had ideas on what kind of "pumping" was going to happen.
"Ouch, Carrots. Keep those gloves up, huh?"
"I'm sorry Nick, but after this morning I'm a little... out of sorts..."
"Me too, fluff. I owe you an apology too."
"Come again?"
"I'd love to!" Nick chuckled at her wide eyed expression. "Sorry, Carrots, but you started it." The confusion in her expression only grew, so Nick plowed on after a paw over his ears. "I owe you an apology for taking liberties last night and this morning. You wanted cuddles and I went too far with it, then I copped a feel this morning... I don't blame you for walloping me, or for glossing over it. Don't worry. It won't happen again."
Judy's confusion only grew. "Glossing over... what? What are you talking about?"
"The hug this morning...? Back to our usual routine?"
"Now, you listen to me, you feather-brained git. I'm not glossing over anything. Until that coffee got dumped on us, I was having the best morning since Yule morning when I was 11."
"That was when you got that bicycle painted in the ZPD colors, right?"
"Yep! Best Yule ever!"
"Then, why did you punch me?"
"That...!" She started strong, but finished barely audibly. "Isn't something I'm ready to talk about, yet. Given the... circumstances..." Reddened ears were tucked tight against her shoulders and she refused to meet his gaze.
"Ok…? I heard you sob in my bathroom. Can you help me out with that one…?" Nick was grasping for anything that he could get an answer on.
Judy spoke, Nick had to assume, because her lips and jaw were moving, but no sound escaped.
"Ok...? Later on that one too, I guess?" Judy nodded vigorously. Nick would have been irritated if he hadn't been so disturbed. "Um, can you tell me why you left so quickly?"
"Oh, for... I was embarrassed, Nick..."
"For showing so much fur?"
"The- I- Yes. ...and the punching thing..." She was so red he could feel the heat radiating off her face. She was reaching the point of immolation.
"Ok. Ok, Carrots! I won't ask. I'm confused as all hell, but I make it look good. Just don't combust on me... and enough of the doe eyes! You're killing me, here!"
That made the doe in question giggle. "Look, fox, I... I'll explain. I promise. Just not now. Maybe when we get a quiet moment alone?"
"No audience, huh? That may be a while in coming, Hopps."
"Tell me about it..." Her statement was punctuated by Chief Bogo entering the room and shooting her a pointed look. "Ugh... Duty calls."
"Well, I never! Judy Hopps unenthusiastic about performing her duty! Now I have seen it all!" The bop on the arm he got was deserved and indicated things were getting back to sort of ok. A small breath of relief blew between his teeth and Nick looked to his next task. Escaping the ZPD.
Talk about irony. When I was a hustler, I never set paw in this place. Now, I'm a cop and I need to escape!
It was time to fill Jack in on their destination.
While Judy suffered through the attentions of the press and Bogo's attempt at whitewashing the incident, Nick sat in the blacked out sedan with Jack. Once Judy wrapped up with the tender attentions of the media, she'd join them, the decoy vehicle would depart and they'd slip out the high-security entrance on the north side of the building.
Nick sat on the plush seat and took in his surroundings. It was just a car, so there wasn't anything too impressive, past the fact that it was built for wolves. Nick supposed that was part of the disguising factor of the vehicle choice, as was the driver; a pretty (and extremely nervous) caracal. Jack was back to taciturn and Nick was fairly certain that one of his mammals seeing him in such a ridiculous state was the cause.
Nick caught the cat's eye in the rearview mirror and smiled. She returned it and seemed a little more at ease. Nick cast a sidelong look at Jack, before looking back at her and winking. The telltale ear flick told Nick all he needed to know. She was working very hard to avoid her boss' wrath, but was having a terrible time of it, keeping her curiosity, and laughter, under wraps. "Hey, Sweetheart?"
The driver was confused and unsure of how to respond, while Jack just rolled his eyes. "Yes, you, the kitty behind the wheel."
"Yes, sir?" She had no idea whether to be offended at the familiarity, or glad of the tension relief in the air. Poor kitty.
"What's your name, kitten?"
"Special Agent Agnes Birchfang, sir."
"Special agent? How special are we talking?" The other mammals rolled their eyes. "Special training? Special clearance? Special operations group? Special needs...?"
Before the feline could retort, Jack cut in. "Special agent is a term denoting an investigator or detective charged with investigative work."
"Tough job. So special training, clearance, operations group and experience."
"Summarized broadly, yes," droned Jack.
"And you work with him?"
"Yes, sir," the prim response drifted back from the front of the car.
"And you're a molly of what? 26? 28?"
"38, sir, and not a molly."
"So, a queen then." The feline acknowledged him with a sharp, single nod. "You work that job with this buck and raise a family? Please tell me you're mated."
"Excuse me?"
"Birchfang, if you aren't taken, it's a crime."
Her laugh was musical, if brief. "As it stands, fox, I'm not, but I'm not looking either."
"Fair enough. And it's not my business, but if you're looking for a male to get to know..."
"Don't you have enough entanglements, Wilde?" Jack cut in.
"Not me, fluffy bunny. The precinct. We've got a lot of single males of varying felid sizes. Or other species, if that's what you prefer. There's a nice caracal Tom up in planning."
"Are you seriously trying to turn the ZPD into a dating service?"
"Just presenting an option. If you're going to be in town for a while, you may as well. And where else are you going to find a male that understands the demands of the job? Or female, of course. No judging."
"And are they all as silver tongued, as you?" asked the queen, a hint of purr in her voice.
"That's for you to find out, Special Agent Birchfang."
"Angie, sir"
"So that's what mammals you don't arrest call you!" She giggled in response. "Call me Nick, or Officer Wilde if you need to be formal, only don't be formal." That earned him another small smile. "Thanks for driving, Angie. It's always nice when a pretty girl takes me for a ride."
She choked back a laugh and Jack huffed beside him.
Nick leaned over to his irate companion and whispered, "What's the matter, Jackie? Even if she talks, who would believe her?"
"Thankfully, no one, but I am looking forward to getting to the tram station. I have another agent bringing a set of clothes presently."
"I thought you wanted to make this trip low profile, Tiger Bunny," Nick chortled at near-normal volume.
Jack practically shouted, "You call this low profile, fox?" gesturing at his attire.
The snickering from the front seat was not missed by either passenger. The growl that Jack emitted had the giggles stifled very quickly.
"Wilde, you are doing nothing for my image."
"I'm doing plenty for your image, Tiger Bunny. Being seen with me will do nothing but improve it."
"Tarnishing is not improving."
"Aww… Is someone feewing cwanky?"
"Officer Wilde, why are you goading me?"
"Because you need to lighten up. I didn't create this situation and you are going to give yourself an ulcer if you stay this tense. Do you want that, Agent Fluff?"
"What I want is to get through this ignominious departure with a shred of self-respect intact."
"You may have to give up on that one, but is there anything else you're wanting, while we stare into each-others' eyes?"
Jack's eyes bugged at the realization of how close they were and what it looked like. He shoved Nick back into his seat and stared awkwardly out the window. Nick, on the other hand smirked and shot another look at the rearview mirror. The caracal driver's eyes were the size of dinner plates and her mouth was hanging open.
Fortunately, the moment broke when the door popped open and Judy's stressed and fidgety form scrambled into the vehicle.
"You ok, Carrots?"
Judy's amaranthine orbs met his emerald pair for a split second, before she looked everywhere else and squeaked, "Yes. Let's go."
She scrambled into a seat on the opposite end of the car from the two males and buckled in as Jack waved a paw. The car pulled away from the secured entrance, through the underground parking garage and up, onto the street. The street was clear of anything but the most usual traffic and the sedan bearing the three runaways slid away.
About 35 minutes later, the car stopped by the Night Train tram station with service to the Nocturnal District and the Deeps. Judy and Nick stepped out as they had entered the vehicle, but Jack disembarked in a pair of navy slacks and a green polo. The handoff of the clothes at a stoplight had been almost disturbing in its subtlety. Jack had changed in full view of both mammals in the back, under the bewildered eyes of the driver.
His comment of "What modesty do I have left, anyway," sparked a smirk, a raised eyebrow and an eye twitch from Nick, Judy and Angie respectively.
The three mammals moved quickly to the platform and directly onto the waiting tram. Jack had used his connections to reserve a full tram car at a remote platform. The time between the car parking and the tram leaving was perhaps ninety seconds and no one was the wiser. They hoped.
As the fox and rabbits settled in for the hour trip into the lower city, the tram slid along the overhanging tracks and glided towards the artificial mountain chain that was the cornerstone of the Alpine District.
