"Why do you have to go?" I asked Sebastian. He was about to go on another run, and everytime he went out, I would almost feel sick with worry.
"It's just to get some more weapons Clary. I'll be fine." Sebastian argued.
"Promise me." I asked.
"What?" He asked in confusion.
"Promise me that you'll be fine." I stated again.
"I promise you, Clarissa Verlac, that I will be fine on my run, and that I will return." He said with certainty. I hugged him to me, never wanting him to let me go. "Hey, hey. What's all this about?" Sebastian asked gently.
"One day, this is all going to come crashing down." I mumbled through his chest. Sebastian rubbed my back, and kissed my forehead before letting me go.
"Okay, when I return, we can do something fun, deal?" He asked. I could see the devious smile on his face, and I knew what fun meant.
"Is that a proposition for sex?" I asked.
"Do you want it to be?" Sebastian questioned.
"No." I laughed. I could see him frown.
"I love you Clarissa Verlac." He said to me. Sebastian crouched down and touched moderate sized baby bump. "And I love you two Ava Verlac." Sebastian said before kissing my stomach.
"But we don't even know if it's a girl!" I protested.
"Fine, if we have a boy we can name him Liam, but I like the idea of having a little girl. She'll look as beautiful as you Mrs. Verlac." He smirked.
I liked hearing him call me Clarissa Verlac, because I felt as if we were each other's. That I loved him so much, that I wanted to share his history. I looked up at eyes full of adoration. He smiled down at me, then kissed me. His full lips felt soft against mine. My lips melted to his, any separation hurting me. His arms wound around my small frame, his warmth enveloping me. Before I could continue, I could hear someone clear their throat. Our lips separated with a suction noise. My emerald eyes were met with Jonathan's.
"As much as I love seeing you two go at each other, Sebastian and I need to go on our run before sun down." Jonathan stated. I rolled my eyes, and then let go of my Sebastian. It hurt to see him go off, but before I could say anything else, my nausea kicked in; sending me running outside. I tried my best to hurry the process, not wanting to miss Sebastian leave.
I ran past a very pregnant Isabelle, almost knocking her over. I mumbled an apology before running into the living room. My eyes scanned for the truck through the window. He was gone. In that moment, I had forgotten to say the most important thing to him.
I forgot to say I loved him.
Worry made me bite my lip. My fingers were tapping away at the arm of the couch. The sunlight that shone through the window was dimming by the minute. My ears were in tune with nature, waiting for the disturbance of the truck pulling in. Silence. Rebecca was pacing nervously around the room. Simon was trying to calm her down, knowing that she was thinking the worst of the late appearance of her husband. The only comfort that was brought to me, was when I looked at the small picture of Sebastian and I. I remember the day we took it, it was our 'wedding day', or the day we dressed up and performed the ceremony. For a wedding present, my mother had given me a really old camera. It was one of those cameras that took a picture, printed it out, and then you had to shake it to show up. My mom snapped a picture of Sebastian and I kissing. I looked back on the memory with a saddened smile.
I woke up to the empty space on my bed. No Sebastian. I frowned. Sebastian like the idea of a traditional wedding day. He wanted to destroy any possibility of us separating, so he decided he wasn't going to see me until the wedding. I didn't even know what I was going to wear! Isabelle had said that she had something planned, but I doubted I would like it. I jumped to my feet and went to the bathroom so I could take a quick shower.I didn't get much time to dry up before a loud knock was at my door. Groaning, I trudged my way over to the door and swung it open with irritation.
"Can you at least try to act a little excited Clary?" Isabelle whined. She pushed me back into my room, despite my protest. I was pushed down on the stool that stood before my vanity. Dear god the woman was going to do my make-up! As much as I tried to stop her, she had managed to hold my face still and dress my face up like a doll. I had to admit that I looked gorgeous. My skin seemed to have a glow, despite the pregnancy. Isabelle started to run her hands through my hair, and I decided that I would just close my eyes and enjoy the little massage her hands were giving my scalp. The occasional tug made me growl at her, but I didn't dare move, because even though it was my wedding day, I knew that she wouldn't waste a second trying to get me in order. I peeled open my eyes, scared that she had my hair in a style that even she wouldn't dare to try. I was surprised to see that my hair was half way up. A veil was clipped in my hair.
"Where did you get a veil?" I asked Isabelle.
"Well let's just say you owe Simon and Jonathan a lot of thanks." She teased. I frowned at the thought of putting the ones I loved in danger for a veil.
"What's in that bag?" I asked Isabelle, nodding to the bag she had placed next to my bed.
"Oh you'll just love it!" She cheered. I cringed. I already knew what it was. She brought the bag to my feet and she gestured for me to open in. My hands delved into the the bag, pulling out the pink tissue paper. My arms grasped a silk fabric, and I cautiously pulled it out. I couldn't lie, it was beautiful. The bottom of the dress was layered with fabrics. If you pulled them apart, they were see through, but piled against each other, they looked like clouds. The top part of the dress was silk. There was a noticeable dip into the cleavage. I was glad that with the pregnancy, my breast were finally equal, or even greater than that of an average woman. On my shoulders rested two thick straps. My creme colored back was visible. For once I didn't feel insecure about it, because I knew that Sebastian wouldn't care if I was married in my pajamas.
"Isabelle it's beautiful!" I cried. Tears bubbled in my eyes.
"Don't cry! You'll ruin your make-up!" She shouted at me. I immediately wiped my eyes, not wanting to ruin the beauty of my appearance. I slipped on a pair of white heels, and rushed to my drawers to find my something old. I pulled out the necklace my mother had given me. Isabelle handed me a pair of sapphire blue earrings which also happened to go into the something borrowed category. My mother rushed into the room and squealed with joy when she saw my dress.
"Clary you look absolutely breath taking!" My mother exclaimed.
"Thanks Mom." I blushed.
"Do you have the something new?" Isabelle asked my mother.
"Yep, you're going to love this Clary!" My mom cheered before handing me a small pearl bracelet. It looked lovely, and it managed to fit my wrist just right.
"Mom, it's wonderful!" I cried. The tears were coming back into my eyes, and I had to look up at the sunlight to cast them away. Luke peaked in through the door, and gasped at how beautiful I looked.
"Clary you look like an angel in that dress." Luke said softly.
"Thanks Dad." I said. I tried my hardest not to blush, or cry.
"Sorry to interrupt the moment, but Clary you have a certain someone waiting on you." Luke hinted. I made my way to him, and looped my arm through his elbow. I took in a breath as we made our way to the backyard. I looked up at Luke before opening the door that separated us from the outdoor. Luke had a proud smile on his face, and his eyes glistened with tears.
"Ready?" Luke asked me.
"Yeah." I croaked with nervousness. I shivered at the thought of everyone staring at me. Luke opened the door, and I was met with a beautiful sight. The lawn had been trimmed, and a fabric made a pathway for me to the arch that I'm guessing Luke had made, because he of course was skilled at woodwork. Flowers were wrapped around the arch, giving it a fairytale vibe. The benches that used to sit in our front yard, were now at the sides of the pathway, seating our group. Flower petals were scattered across the ground, and the horizon was setting, giving the whole scene a warm sense. As much as I wanted to sprint to Sebastian, Luke made sure I didn't. Beautiful music filled the air as Jem played the violin, and Jace the piano that I'm guessing they moved from the music room. It shocked me to think that Jace would do that for me, considering our difficult past.
My eyes were met with the most handsomest man I could fathom. To others, sure he was handsome, but the love that I held for him magnified that perception. He was dressed sharply in a tuxedo. His skin radiated bliss. His hair looked perfect. Magnus probably had something to do with that. All feelings of anxiety vanished at the thought of loving this man for the rest of my life.
When it came time for Luke to release me, I almost wanted to leap in Sebastian's strong arms.
"Go get em' tiger." Luke whispered in my ear. I grinned at him, as if to say thanks. The people that were seated next to us seemed to vanish as I looked at my fiance. I barely managed to say 'I do' while gazing upon my now husband. When Magnus finally allowed Sebastian to kiss me, I was almost to eager. The kiss was soft and sweet, symbolizing the lifetime of love that we would give each other. I could hear a camera go off while my soft lips were pressed against Sebastian's.
My thoughts were torn apart as I heard the familiar engine ringing our through the now darkened sky. I rushed to the door and threw it open. I sprinted down the gravel pathway, trying to reach the vehicle. My feet burned, but were no where near the burn that was consuming my heart. I saw my brother get out of the truck, and he blocked my way to the truck that held my husband.
"Clary..." He spoke softly to me.
"Jonathan let go! I want to get to Sebastian!" I cried, struggling in his strong grip. Desperation powered my small body, trying to get me to my husband. No matter how hard I tried, Jonathan wouldn't let go of me. I could hear his sniffles. In that moment, I knew that he was gone. I wouldn't get to see him again. I could feel my arms shaking. I could hear the movement of others, but it sounded distant. I glanced and saw them standing in the front doorway.
"I'm so sorry Clary. I'm so sorry..." Jonathan croaked. The effort I was putting to get out of Jonathan's arms was dwindling.
"No! No No NO NO NO NO!" I screamed at the night sky. I could feel Jonathan shake with sobs as he held me, and I finally sunk into his embrace. Tears were pouring out of my eyes like a waterfall. Sobs dominated my body as I shook with heartache. Jonathan stroked my head as I wailed into his chest. I fell to my knees, and Jonathan did as well, still holding me. I didn't dare let go of him, because if I did, I knew that I would fall apart.
"I'm sorry." Jonathan repeated again, his voice being altered by his tight throat. Pain was racing through my body. A piece of me was now gone forever.
"I forgot to say I loved him Jonathan!" I cried. "I didn't get to say goodbye!" I sobbed. I'll never get to wake up with him. I'll never get to see his crooked smile. I'll never get to feel his soft lips again. Sebastian would never get to see our child, and that was what hurt me more. He wanted to see this baby so much. I sobbed in Jonathan's arms for what seemed like an eternity. I could feel someone lift me up and carry me back to the house. I looked up through teary eyes to see Jace. I didn't protest, because now all I wanted to do was sleep and never wake up. This all seemed like a horrible nightmare. I clawed at my arms, trying to wake myself up.
I never did.
