Recalling

Chapter 4: Hide & Seek

Scrambling hurriedly to my feet, I decided to run away, instead of turning around and face my parents. But before I could even take one step, father's strong hands wounded around my waist and I squealed as he rapidly pulled me backwards to the couch and onto his lap.

Squirming under his grip, I scrunched my eyes shut and covered my face with my hands in hopes of saving myself from being chided. Unlike what I expected though, I heard them laughing again and then I found myself flopped on both of them. My head on mother's lap and rest of me on father's thighs and the couch. Father's arm was firm around my waist, preventing me from falling.

"Elin-nizu, WHAT are you doing here?!" Mother pried my hands away from my face.

I opened one of my eyes first to see her and father looking down at me with amused and surprised smiles and tiredness printed on their features.

"S…Sorry… I…" I stammered, not knowing what I could even say.

"How long were you there, listening?" Mother squinted at me with a raised brow. I chewed on my bottom lip and looked at father. He was still smirking.

"Not long. Just heard you wanted to read a book." Even I myself felt the crinkle forming between my brows.

Father broke into a fit of laughter and leaned forward to gingerly nibble on my cheek. "You little mouse!"

I giggled as his fingers tickled my sides and put my arms around his neck, keeping him close.

"I missed you atar." I kissed him.

"I missed you too sweetheart." He kissed his favorite place, the spot under my ear, taking in a deep breath, like he was inhaling my aroma.

"I missed you too mya." I tilted my head to look up at her, still embarrassed.

Father drew back his head, letting mother lean down as well to give me a never ending kiss on the corner of my lips, her long hair falling on both sides of my head like curtains, separating me from the outside world, and engulfing me with her scent for a moment. "And I missed you, my sweet Elin." She whispered.

She softly caressed my hair and put her elbow under my head like a pillow. I took some of her hair in my hand and laced my fingers through her tresses. An old habit. Her hair was a bit damp, like she had showered earlier.

"Hi." I whispered to them.

"Hi" they both said back delightfully at the same time.

"Why are you awake sweetheart?" Mother asked a few seconds later.

"I woke up and wanted to know if you were back."

It was such an awkward angle with them looking down at me, but now that I could see they weren't angry with me for sneaking into their room and listening to them without permission, I felt relaxed and happy to be this close to them.

"Did you have a nightmare again?" Father asked as he raised one of my hands to kiss my knuckles, like I was a princess.

"I did, but it wasn't that bad. I just wanted to see you."

They both just smiled at me quietly, and I knew I better go back to my bed and let them go to sleep as well. But I had to ask them something first.

"Can I ask you something?" I looked at each of them in turn to let them know the question was for both of them.

"Of course sweetheart." Mother replied as father nodded in agreement, still holding my hand.

"How much do you love each other?" I asked, playing with mother's hair.

They looked at me puzzled for a few seconds, and then they turned their heads to look into one another's eyes as if to find the answer there.

"With all my being." There was no mistake in the immense devotion behind mother's words. Hushed, but powerful like an enchantment.

"With everything that I have." Father claimed in an equally enrapturing tone.

They kept looking hypnotically at each other for a long while, like they had completely forgotten about me and I felt a wide warm smile creeping up my whole face. I'd found my answer. Grandmother was absolutely right. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, mother and father were madly in love.

I stirred to get off the couch and father helped to steady me. It was time to leave them. As I stood up from the couch, I felt mother's hand gripping mine.

"Do you want to sleep here with us tonight Elin-nizu?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm okay mya." After finding the answer I was searching for, nothing could bother me at that moment. Not even that nasty nightmare.

"Then I come to tuck you in."

I flashed her a grin and nodded gratefully.

"Goodnight atar."

"Sweet dreams my beautiful meril." Father kissed me on the forehead.


The next morning everyone slept in and we had brunch instead of breakfast. We were about to finish our meal when Tyren finally showed up with a messy hair and groggy eyes, in unmatching pajamas, his buttons wrongly done and yawning. I was the first one to notice his approach.

I snorted at his goofy appearance and put a hand on my mouth to stifle a chuckle. When others noticed why I was pushing my hand so hard on my mouth, they started to laugh as well and only then I let myself laugh out loud.

"What?" Tyren looked at us completely baffled.

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror dear?" Mother told him, still smiling.

Tyren looked at himself, touching his face and hair and went wide eyed. With red cheeks, he ran back to the room and I laughed at him even more.

A few hours later, I was trying to read Star-Crossed in Grandfather's study room when I saw mother entering. They had no meetings until tomorrow.

"Elin-nizu, can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Of course leiu." I answered back in Kryptonese, putting away the book on a table next to me.

She came to sit on the sofa in front of me. "We can talk in Daxamite."

I nodded, already guessing what this was about.

"So how was the school yesterday?"

I looked away instantly. I wasn't ready to talk about it with her. Mother leaned forward and grabbed both my hands. "Grandma told me some students have said cruel things to you."

She already knew, then why would she want to ask me again? "They didn't tell me mya. I hid behind a pillar and listened to them. I'm sorry. I know I keep doing that. Like last night and that time when Tyren was talking to father, but I couldn't just walk away."

She brushed softly on the back of my hands with her thumbs as I talked.

"It's ok sweetheart. I just need to know how you're doing. You can tell me anything. I wouldn't judge. I just want to help you. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you yesterday."

"It's ok mya. Grandma was here. I liked talking to her. She told me that Tyren wanted to be alone with uncle Kal so he pushed me away like that and she told me that people talk and I shouldn't believe whatever they say."

Mother smiled at me kindly.

"Would you tell me what you told her?"

I thought about it. She looked so concerned, her eyes almost begging me to share with her all that had happened to me yesterday. And so I told her everything. This time though, it was much easier because I knew how wrong they were.

At some point mother came to sit next to me and winded her arms around me in show of support. When I finished my story, she kept me close, rubbing my back, even though I didn't feel half upset as I did the day before.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you Elin-nizu. Those kids had no right to talk like that behind your back."

"Why would they be so mean? Am I different from them? Is that why they said those bad things about you and father?"

"They didn't really understand what they were saying, only repeating what they had heard here and there. You come from another planet and they wanted to talk, pretending to others that they know everything. No sweetheart, you're not the different you think you are. It's just that Krypton and Daxam haven't been friendly towards each other for hundreds of years and they assume things about one another that are biased and wrong. Even I misjudged your father the first time I met him.

But Elin, in another meaning you ARE different from those kids. You are better, wiser and more sympathetic than them. You wouldn't say such things if you were in their place, because I know my daughter. And sometimes, being different alarms some people, make them react badly, as if our differences scares them."

"Why would they be scared of me? I didn't do anything to them!"

"Of course you didn't sweetheart. It's just how some people feel. It's not your fault."

I didn't say anything for a while, contemplating my mother's words. How very complicated. Why would anyone feel threatened by me?

"But they were right about my Kryptonian not being good. Even Tyren told me. I wish I could speak as well as Tyren does."

"Oh, Elin you'll be even better than him sooner than you think! You're still learning. You're pushing yourself too hard needlessly." She held me tighter and kissed my crown and then leaned the side of her face to my head, whispering to me. "Don't ever say that. Don't let their words dishearten you. You're much better than you think you are. My bright beautiful inah. Let them say whatever they want, but NEVER EVER let them make you doubt in yourself."

Her word touched me in ways that I had never experienced, going deeper than even grandmother's words, untying all the knots and I felt so strong and gratified.

"I love you mya."

"I love you too, my Elin-nizu."

We held each other close like that for a long minute until I finally decided to ask her about her marriage.

"Mya, did you really marry father because your parents forced you to it?"

She softly pushed me out of her embrace and looked me in the eyes.

"There was an arrangement for our marriage long before even I became aware of it, but me and your father met months before the wedding and got to know each other, and neither of us even knew what our parents had intended for us and I fell in love with your father because of who he is, and I'm pretty sure he would tell you the same if you ask him. In fact he would say, he fell in love with me first!"

I giggled, but then another question popped in my mind.

"Will I have to marry someone you choose for me too?"

"No, sweetheart. NEVER. We would never do this to you." She shook her head firmly.

"Would you have married father if you didn't love him?"

She looked through the window to her right for a moment, thinking, before turning her eyes back at me with a sharp look. She took in my hands in hers again, squeezing lightly.

"As hard as it was to think how my life would change despite all my other wishes and plans which I had hoped to achieve here on Krypton, I would have done the same, because the reason behind my marriage was to save Krypton and I would do anything to save my people. There was no doubt in that for me and Rao was kind to me and put me in the path of your father."

I smiled at her adoringly, never imagining I could be even prouder of my mother.

"Then why others don't see what you did for Krypton?"

"Almost no one is aware of the true reason behind our marriage."

"But if you tell them, they wouldn't say those bad thing. We should tell them!"

"No, sweetheart. It is a sensitive matter and we can't share it with others. Not yet."

"Why?"

"Sometimes we need to keep the truth hidden to protect the ones we love."

My shoulders slumped a bit. I wished I could barge in the school and tell everyone how wrong they had been and make them see what a hero my mother had been all along.

"Will you tell me?" I looked at her.

"Someday sweetheart. Not today, but I promise I'll tell you when the right time comes." She reached a hand to tuck a stray strand of my hair, behind my ear.

"Okay. I'll be waiting for that day." I nodded appreciatively at her.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, just smiling at each other.

"So, is that why you were in our room last night and asked us that question? To see if we really love each other?" Mother asked me unexpectedly and I felt my cheeks burning.

"Grandma said I should believe in what I see with my own eyes, instead of what others say." I mumbled, looking at our joined hands.

She laughed and pecked me on the forehead kindly. "Sweetheart, you didn't have to do such things to find the answer. You can always ask me or your father anything you wish to know. We would never lie to you."

"Grandma said I'm bad at lying like you are."

"What else did she tell you?" Mother looked rather mortified.

"She said I have crinkle just like you when I try to keep things from others."


In the afternoon we went to visit a historical monument in Argo city which had been renovated recently. An old building surrounded by beautiful fountains and gardens.

The moment we entered its gigantic gates to step inside the building, I strode faster inside, my imagination sparking with numerous fantasies and scenes from Star-Crossed. This place reminded me a bit of The Royal Gardens which we had visited a few times back on Daxam. The gardens had been exclusively for the royal families, until my parents disbanded the monarchy and afterwards the palace and gardens had been open to public and had become a tourist destination. I joyfully recalled playing hide and seek with Tyren the last time we went to The Royal Gardens. I turned around and watched my parents and grandparents walking slower and Tyren walking a bit faster between me and them. They all seemed to be captivated by the place as well.

I quickened my pace, too impatient to wait for them to catch up to me.

"Elin, don't go too far sweetheart." I heard father warning me, his voice echoing eerily on the walls.

I stopped, choosing to examine the old worn mosaics under my feet, following the lines and cracks with my steps and gauging them until they came.

In front of us was a huge ballroom, the walls were painted masterfully with brilliant colors, showing people and animals I didn't recognize, probably depicting Krypton's history. And the ceiling was so high that I almost fell down backwards as I tried to see the zenith.

"Hey, watch it!" Tyren complained as I accidently collided with him and stumped on his shoe while walking backwards.

"Sorry." I twisted around and distanced myself from him, half expecting him to say something bitter to me again, but he didn't seem that repulsive. When he didn't say anything I turned around to walk to where our parents and grandparents were standing, watching the paintings and discussing them among themselves.

"I'm sorry." Tyren's quiet voice made me stop on my track and turn around to see if I'd heard him right.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for… For saying those things to you. For pushing you. I was a jerk."

I watched him with a dropped jaw.

"Grife! I shouldn't have used that word in front of you. Sorry." Tyren added, completely flustered.

"Tyren…" I began only to be cut off by him.

"I'm sorry I mocked your Kryptonese. You're smart, you'll be good at it in no time. I.. I can even help you. We can talk Kryptonese at home sometimes to practice. I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry. You don't act like a good girl for attention. You're kind and good inside nessa and I love you."

Not being able to form any coherent answer to assure him that I had forgiven him, I ran to him and enveloped him as much as I could manage with my short height and small arms.

"I love you too hanon."

He was frozen for a moment, like he was shocked by my action, but then he brought his arms up and hugged me back and I felt like finally everything was right in the world again. I pulled back a bit to look up at him

"I forgive you Tyren, and I'm sorry I called you a bully. You didn't deserve that, you were only defending yourself."

Tyren looked at me in disbelief for a moment, before his eyes softened and the corners of his mouth pulled up to form a huge grin on his face.

"Don't worry about it nessa, I forgive you too."

When we looked around at last, we saw our parents watching us from the other side of the ballroom. They were standing close to each other – mother had an arm looped around father's bicep, leaning onto him – and both were beaming brightly at us. Then they started walking into another huge corridor and called for us to follow. We walked after them hand in hand.

At the end of that corridor, we entered the gardens and after finishing a tour around the gardens, we were resting a bit near the biggest, most ornate fountain which was surrounded by a circle of smaller fountains in a 20 yard diameter.

I was bored.

"Tyren! Remember that time we played hide and seek in The Royal Gardens!?" I tugged on his sleeve.

"Yeah." He smirked. "Remember that time I was Valor and climbed the tree?"

"The one you fell from it and almost broke your hand?"

"I didn't fall, the branch gave away."

I chortled at his cocky expression. Typical Tyren, always changing the story for his own benefit.

"Can we play hide and seek now!?" I was jumping on the balls of my feet.

"I don't know if we can." Tyren shrugged, looking in mother's direction. "Mya can we play hide and seek?"

Mother looked hesitant and skeptical.

"PLEASE mya?!" I used most pleading look and voice on her.

"Okay, but stay close to the fountains." She finally caved in and I jumped in excitement. "YES!"

I ran to grab Tyren's hand to drag him away with me.

"Tyren?" Mother called.

"I know mya. We'll be just near the fountains." Tyren answered as we went.

We strolled farther from the fountain to find the best place for the base. We chose a small white statue and then, before Tyren even had a chance to speak I started.

"eenie, meenie, minnie, moe…" pointing myself and him with each term and stopping on him. "Your IT!" I shouted triumphantly.

"HEY! You didn't even say the chant fully!" Tyren protested, but I showed him the tip of my tongue and sprinted away to start my search of a good hiding place.

"Count to 100!" I ordered him.

"20!" Tyren bargained.

"90!"

"40! And NO more!"

"Fine! Just count slowly! And DON'T cheat!"

"I don't CHEAT! And you stay close Elin. I'm serious. Don't go beyond the fountains. This place is huge."

"Okay."

I left him alone and heard as the sound of his counting grew fainter by my each fast steps. I found a hiding place behind a well-trimmed bush and waited for him.

He found me easily, and then I played IT for two rounds because he beat me to the base and the third time Tyren offered to be IT again and I happily agreed.

This time on my path to find a better hiding place, I noticed a small cabin with open door. I looked around it and found some vases as tall as me next to its wall and decided to stand between two of them. I waited for Tyren nervously. After what seemed far less than 40, I heard his footsteps.

"I know you're around here!"

I shuddered with agitation, anticipation tickling my tummy like a swarm of ants.

"Muhahaha! I can smell you!" He had roughened his voice, pretending to be that Garata dragon again. Another game we hadn't played for a long time. Though it scared the hell out of me, it brought a smile to my face.

"Where are you little Elin? I'm so hungry!"

"How DARE you, you ugly beast!? I will smite thee with my mighty sword!" Suddenly Tyren had changed into his Valor voice. I bit the inside of my cheek and pressed my hands hard on my mouth so he wouldn't hear me laughing. His footsteps were dangerously coming closer. I started moving out of my hiding place, slowly walking in the opposite direction around the cabin, careful not to make any noises with my feet on the gravel. I heard Tyren continuing his game.

"Valor! Ugh, you meddling hero! Go find another to torment! Leave me with my dinner!"

"I shall burn in seven hells before I let you devour my Elin!"

I reached the door to the hut and Tyren was only a few steps behind. I couldn't run farther, he would see me. My only option was inside the cabin.

I hurried inside and shut the door soundlessly, listening for him.

"See what you did Valor? My dinner is gone!"

"Oh, sweet Elin! Where are thou?"

Tyren's voice grew lower and I congratulated myself for being so resourceful. I would wait a bit longer for Tyren to get to a safe distance and then run out to the base. I decided to open the door a little to see if he was really gone, but couldn't find a handle. Pushing the door and even pulling it didn't work. It was stuck. I started to fiddle with the door more, even kicking it. Then I thought there should be a window in the cabin and turned around to look for one. How had I not noticed how dark it was inside? There were no windows.

This place was small. Too small and I felt that damn horrifying feeling coming back. My breath hitched in my throat. I wanted to shout, call for Tyren at the top of my lungs, but I couldn't, like my body was detached from my mind and I couldn't feel if I was standing or sitting anymore. Everything was too dark.