So sorry for the wait! Writer's block is one hell of a bitch! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter - please review!


Liz closed the door and lent her head against it, processing Rosa's words to her. She knew it had been an immense struggle for Ressler to ask her for help, so the possibility of letting someone else in to 'their little secret' was out of the question. The realisation that it would be her that would have to stay the night hit her but she didn't find it at all daunting, rather she felt relief, relief for not having to go home to her lying husband; a man she no longer loved or trusted. She couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of spending some time with Ressler out of the office, she just wished it could be under better circumstances. Maybe in the future they could spend time together again...

Liz pushed herself away from the door and headed back to where she left Ressler in his living room, only to stop and stand in his doorway to secretly observe him. He was in exactly the same position as the one she had left him in a few minutes ago only now his eyes were closed. She wasn't entirely sure if he was asleep but that didn't stop her from staring openly at him, taking in his features; the shape of his bare arms, the way that his exposed skin was considerably lighter here compared to his face and neck (presumably where he didn't let them see much sun). She realised quickly that she had never seen him this under-dressed. His time posing as the Courier and the day in the forest were the only two exceptions she could think of that she hadn't seen him in a suit but he had still been wearing slightly more than he was now. She was so lost in thought staring at her partners physique to notice that he had started smiling slightly at her.

"You know, Liz, staring is considered creepy."

Liz jumped a little as his voice cut through the silence of the apartment. His eyes still weren't open and she couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his sixth sense; at least the agent in him was still there, untouched by the recent head trauma.

"And you know, feigning sleep whilst you have company is considered anti-social, but I won't hold it against you. How's your head?"

She was still chuckling slightly to herself as he opened his eyes and looked directly at her. He still had a faint smile as he started to shuffle himself in to a better position on the couch, only for him to grimace a moment later as he lent on his braced hand.

"Maybe I should ask you how's your hand, seeing as you're having more trouble with that than you're head. Let me help you?" It was a more of a question than a command, because Liz wanted him to feel as though he still had control over himself and that she was merely there for support, not as a babysitter. He nodded to her and she moved over to him to take some of his weight so he could sit straighter against the couch.

"Thanks, I didn't think I'd feel so we- tired. And as for my head, it's starting to pound a little. How long till I can take some meds?" He was looking at her almost pleadingly and Liz felt her heart break a little for him. She knew the pain must be worse than he was letting on and that he didn't want her to think of him as weak. She sat down next to him and checked her watch, noting that he still had about three quarters of an hour left before Rosa said it would be okay to take them.

"Forty-five minutes, give or take a few, but you have to eat first. How about I order us something? By the time it gets here and you've eaten enough to line your stomach, it'll be time to take them. Then you can sleep okay, you look exhausted."

"Jeez, thanks Keen, do I really look that bad?" He turned his had to look at her a smiled softly, knowing she only said it because it was true, and to be honest, he felt nothing less. "Food sounds good, I'm starving. There's a few take-out menus in the draw by the door, you choose, you know I eat pretty much everything." She touched his arm lightly again before walking back out of the room to grab a few menus. Deciding on pizza, she used her cell and ordered for the both of them before glancing back into the living room and checking on Ressler only to find him with eyes closed once again. Sighing quietly to herself, she wondered into the kitchen to get them both a drink. She knew that Ressler shouldn't drink anymore alcohol if he wanted to make it to tomorrow and no matter how much she wanted to throw back a good few shots of scotch, she wasn't going to do it in front of her partner. Instead, she pulled two bottles of water from the refrigerator and took them in to the living room.

Hearing her walk back in the room, Ressler reopened his eyes and stared openly at his partner. He watched her as she came towards him and he couldn't help but smile inwardly at her presence. They really had come a long way since her first day at the Post Office.

"Here, I brought you this, you need to keep your fluids up to avoid becoming dehydrated." She held the bottle out to him and waited for him to take it before sitting down next to him once again.

"Thanks, Keen." Liz watched as he drank thirstily from the bottle, almost as if he hadn't had a drink for days. They had a good half an hour before their food was due to arrive and it seemed as good a time as any to talk about what had happened over the last few days. There was a very high chance he'd refuse but she had to try, she wanted to help him through this as best she could, but to do that she needed to know what was going on.

"Ress... Don, we have some time before dinner arrives and I think we should talk. I'm not going to push you into talking if you don't want to, you know I wouldn't do that to you, but I really think it would help if you did. We can take it as slow as you want to... I want to help you, Don, and I will, but I need to know what's going on... Please?" She looked at him, trying to convey that she was serious in what she was saying. In return he looked back to her with tear filled eyes. He considered telling her he wasn't ready to discuss everything but he thought better of it. Maybe talking it out would help, if it got too much for him he could always stop...

Taking a deep breath, he looked down at the floor and started. "I haven't exactly handled Audrey... dying... very well, anyone can see that but like always, I've tried to bottle everything up and carry on as usual. The truth is Liz, every time I close my eyes, I see her. She's there in my arms, covered in blood, dying and there's nothing I can do. I blame myself Liz. It's all my fault. If I didn't have this job and if I hadn't of wanted her back so much she would still be safe. Tanida came after me, me, not Audrey, yet I dragged her into this and she paid the price for my mistake. The night she died, I relived it in a nightmare and the only way to stop them is to drink myself into oblivion." Ressler paused and looked briefly at her before returning his gaze to the floor. She saw the hurt, anger, shame, embarrassment and guilt all etched in the lines of his face. He had tears rolling down his cheeks and she felt her own spring to her eyes. Liz wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him it was all alright, that it wasn't his fault but that wouldn't do anything for him now.

"I don't want to be in this apartment. Everything thing reminds me of her and all her stuff is here. I hadn't told anyone but we were in the process of moving back in together. That's why I kept coming back to the office, it's... hard being here. The other day... when you first told me that I needed to be here, I listened but it was so difficult... In the end I felt worse than what I did and I blamed you Liz... but it was in no way your fault and I can't tell you how sorry I am for the way I was to you... I didn't mean what I said."

"Don't apologise, there's no need for you to, I understand. I'm glad you called me. I'm... glad you feel you can trust me enough to let me in. We're partners Ress, I'll always have your back. If you still feel alright to carry on, I... want to know what happened to your head. And, I want to know if you managed to call Audreys parents? When you texted earlier you said you were going to..." She looked away from him, not wanting to seem as though she was pushing him. A few more tears fell as he continued with his explanation.

"I'm good, I'm good, thanks Liz. Well... I, uh, woke up, hungover with my head pounding, so I took something for it, had a shower and found your note by the door... I had no idea you came by, I was out of it. Anyway, I read the note then found the text and replied. I really thought about what you said and I realised that being close to her family and maybe grieving together would be a good thing but..." his voice hitched in his throat as he tried to stifle the rising sobs. "Audrey's dad, he ... he ... blamed me to, and he has every right to. I got his little girl killed. I barely got a word in before he told me that I ... that I... missed ... her... fu-funeral!" He broke into full blown sobs, head in his hands and body shaking.

Liz was nothing short of shocked. She knew Ressler had been really struggling since the moment Audrey died in his arms, but she never would have imagined he would be so ... out of it that he would miss her funeral.

"Oh, Don." Without hesitating, Liz closed the gap between them and pulled him close to her. She wrapped her arms around him and he let his head rest against her shoulder as the tears came thick and fast.

Liz sat there silently and supported her partner as he broke down in her arms. Donald Ressler, the cool, calm and collected F.B.I agent who always played by the rules was now nothing short of a broken man. Liz didn't say a word to Ressler as he cried it out; she just held him. Liz couldn't help but note that the last, and only, time they had physically been this close was after he'd rescued her from the Stewmaker's cabin. Their roles had been reversed and he had been somewhat reluctant to comfort her but nevertheless, he had let her lean on him and sob to the point he picked her up and took her to the ambulance in his arms.

It took a full ten minutes before Liz felt Ressler stop shaking under her embrace. They stayed there, not moving and Ressler started talking again.

"God, Liz, I missed my girlfriends funeral because I was too busy getting pissed. I should of waited to make that call; the pain meds had started to make me drowsy and I ended up back in bed. It was the first time in a week that I hadn't had an alcohol infused sleep, the nightmares were back and in an attempt to wake myself up, I ended up throwing myself off the bed, and my head caught the nightstand on the way down. I'm a mess and I don't know how I'm going to cope -"

He was cut off by a loud knock at the door. Liz unwrapped her arms from his shoulders to give him room to move away. Glancing at him before getting up, she saw him trying desperately to wipe the tears and their tracks from his face. She took her time collecting their dinner from the delivery guy, giving Ressler enough time to pull himself together a little.

Carrying the pizza boxes, Liz walked cautiously back in the living room only to find her partner had disappeared. She took the time to give the room a detailed once over. Ressler was right when he said Audreys things were everywhere; clothes spilling from a suitcase, books that only a woman would read, candles and other personalised items littered here and there. She couldn't imagine the true extent of the pain Ressler was going through. She heard the flush of the toilet and the sounds of her partner stumbling back into the room. Liz suspected that he'd really gone to splash water on his face in attempt to dull down the puffiness from crying.

"Sorry, needed the bathroom. You didn't need to wait for me to start you know." He gave Liz something resembling a half smile.

"I wasn't waiting, just taking my time with starting." She grabbed a steaming slice of the pepperoni pizza and settled back onto the couch. "Mmm, this is good. I may come round more often, your neighbourhood had better take-outs than mine."

She caught him nodding slightly out the corner of her eye but he didn't say anything. Twenty minutes and six slices of pizza each later, Liz discovered that it was time for Ressler to take a dose of his medication.

"How's your head doing?"

"Painful, but nothing compared to earlier. 'Spose I can take some pills now I've eaten right?"

"Yeah, you can, let me get them and some more water."

She left him sitting there again as she took the left over pizza to the kitchen before grabbing another bottle from the refrigerator and the pills from the counter. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket as she walked back over to her waiting partner. She sighed before placing the phone back in her pocket, letting it ring off.

"Tom?"

Looking into her partners eyes as she handed over his meds and watched him take them, she nodded. "Yeah, but I'll call him back later." Ressler shook his head at her.

"You should get going, thanks for everything Keen but you have a husband to get back to. I don't want to be the one to keep you from him." Ressler finished gulping down his water before getting unsteadily to his feet. "I should go lay down anyway, need my, uh, beauty sleep." He did his best to give her one of his signature half smiles, which she returned.

"Yeah, um, I guess I forgot to mention, Rosa said it was advisable for someone to stay the night because of your concussion. I know how hard it must have been for you to let me in and I know you don't want anybody else seeing you like... this, so, I'm staying for the night.

"Liz, there's -"

"Stop right there, I'm acting on orders from a medical professional, how can I argue with that?" She smiled warningly at him and he knew not to question it; Elizabeth Keen was one stubborn woman.

Ressler sighed and rubbed his forehead lightly with his good hand. The meds were already starting to kick in, the pain was fading and he was becoming increasingly drowsy. "Fine, I can take the couch."

"Oh, no, I'll take the couch, you need proper rest, and only one's own bed can achieve that. I'll be fine out here. There's no point in discussing this further, you look like you're about to drop."

He nodded curtly before stumbling into his bedroom and flopping down down the bed, not bothering to pull back the duvet first. The pain medication had kicked in with full force now and Ressler was muttering into his pillow. Liz stood in the doorway watching and listening, catching random words. She caught her own name a fair few times but once she saw Ressler start to shiver in the late night coolness, she went over to try and move him enough to pull the blankets over him.

"Ressler, come on, you'll catch a cold if you don't cover up." She managed to free the blankets from under his weight and just as she began to pull them over him, he spoke to her.

"Liz... there's some...thing I didn't tell you... I need to say..."

"Okay? Ress? What do you need to say?" She shook his shoulder lightly.

"It hurts... Liz, even more now... knowing..."

"Knowing? Knowing what, Ress?"

"That... that I lost... lost... them both..."

Confused, Liz bent closer to Ressler and put her hands either side of his face and forced him to look at her. "Who, Don? Who did you lose?"

He kept his eyes open long enough to stare at Liz and utter four final words before falling into a deep slumber.

"Audrey... and the baby..."