Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I've had a lot of school work. And I've been working a few chapters ahead of this to try and get into an update schedule. While it may be a few more chapters before I get on said schedule, I am working on it! :D
Also, I hope everyone is enjoying this so far ^-^
-Raggedy Hunter


"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing." - Elizabeth I


When the sun rose, Natasha was already awake.

She always was, and knew Clint was as well. But their silent agreement kept them from bothering each other until more "decent hours". They both knew why they were awake so early, and had been for many hours before the sun would rise, and so they stayed away. While Natasha knew that perhaps it would be nice to have some company when she woke up from a stiff and fearful night, curled up in a tight ball like a fist, she appreciated the solitary silence that she didn't always get, now that she lived in the Avengers tower.

It had been about two weeks, if Natasha had been properly keeping track of the days, since she had been with Bruce in Loki's room. After she had been there, and she had seen him in the state he was in, she no longer heard him behind the silvery door. Not that she actively listened for him, but when she passed by, it was always silent.

She had to admit, though, she was curious. About Loki, really. Still weary and mistrusting of him, as were the rest of the tower's residence, but curious nonetheless. After all, they were all seeing what had driven him mad in the first place. What had set him off so that he simply couldn't take it anymore. And had it not been for her experience with the aggresive, loathing side of Loki, Natasha would say that she could see how it had put him off the way it had. But she had seen him at his worse, so she said nothing, and simply sat on the large bed Stark had bestowed upon her. Pushing down the thoughts that had woken her up yet again. A daily routine she was used to.


Clint lay stiff on the mattress. His back pained him slightly, but the ache was dulled as he lay there thinking.

Woken up by the all too familiar nightmare he had been having since the battle in New York (he noticed that he was having the dream less now, but still too often to give comfort). His jaw twitched at the thought of it all. Controlled, and yet so wiling. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, friends, gone. And while Natasha argued that he hadn't been able to help it, that it was Loki's control, Clint knew better. He had seen it all, felt it all, firsthand. He was controlled, but what he had done was all willing. He had willingly taken the arrows from the quiver, wilingly drawn his bow, and... He shook his head slowly, closing his eyes again. The dull light of the rising sun shown faintly through his eye lids.

Half of him was too sore, too tired both physically and mentally, to even consider moving. But the other half still played the nightmare he woke up from over and over, urging him to get up, walking down the hall, and get rid of the abomination that likely rested peacefully in his dark room, feigning his disability. But Clint listened to the former half, and stayed on the soft mattress, willing the ache of his memory to leave him be for perhaps an hour more.


The curtains had been drawn, shutting out the night life that humans seemed to adore so much. Shutting out the sun that now peeked above the endless city. The room was dark, almost pitch black, had it not been for the glowing device in the corner, displaying symbols that changed every time he looked over to it. At the moment, it showed "5:56". It meant nothing to him, and Loki wondered what the point of the object could be.

This had been how he chose to busy himself, instead of dwelling on the memories, as Bruce had warned him against. Not exactly what Bruce had told him, Loki assumed, but he had been distancing himself from anything to do with the memories at that moment. So he hadn't caught the full instructions from the man. But it did not matter. He was as content as he could be in this situation, simply observing the object around this room that Midgard's inhabitants apparently used on a daily basis.

Loki had not slept in days. He hadn't needed to, really. It was rare that he would need to sleep at all. But this was more a case of not wanting to. He would not say this, however.

In fact, Loki would say nothing. To anyone except Bruce, who seemed intent on helping Loki for some strange reason, despite the uneasy feeling they both knew they got around each other. And to Thor, although his conversations with his brother were fleeting. Thor would visit each day, but the length of each visit became increasingly short. Loki did not mind, though. The solitude was, although familiar and all too comfortable, helpful to him. He could think. He had time to think, to figure things out, little by little, and decide how to... Handle it.

This was something Loki did not want to have to do. That he wished was unnecessary. He also wished that maybe this all fake, all a strange, horrible dream. That he would wake back in Asgard, with his brother and their friends. Thor's friends, he corrected himself bitterly, once again recalling the past events.

By the time the device read "6:42", Loki felt drained, despite having only been sitting on the bed thinking. But he pushed himself onto his feet and went over to the drapes. He grabbed them, ready to pull them open, but paused. Maybe I shouldn't. He shook his head. Don't be ridiculous. It doesn't matter. Loki took a deep breath and slowly pulled the curtains open. The sun filtered into the dark room, lighting it up with a soft glow. The pit in Loki's stomach became lighter with the room, and he closed his eyes, taking in the warmth and the light. The golden-orange sky almost made him feel at ease. Almost.


Natasha had slipped passed Clint's room at around 6:40. She hadn't been paying attention to where her feet had been taking her, but when she came back to attention, she stood in the doorway to the large kitchen. At this time of the day, no one was ever in the kitchen, but just as Natasha began to take a step forward, she noticed the figure leaning against the counter.

Thor was leaned forward slightly, against the edge of the sink, staring out the window. He seemed to not notice her, but the subtle turn of his head told Natasha that he had heard her. It was too late to back out of the room and try again later without Thor thinking that they were all avoiding him, too nervous or too unsure of what to say to him. Not only because of their current situation, but despite having worked together over the past six years, none of them except Clint and Natasha knew each other very well. They had nothing to say to each other, and being in a room together often had silences that lasted too long to be comfortable.

Natasha slipped into the kitchen, quietly making a cup of coffee after offering Thor a light smile, which he returned with a rather sad one. Natasha leaned against the fridge, sipping the hot drink. She felt as though she should say something, but Thor spoke before she could think of anything.

"He was always so frightened as a child." His brow furrowed slightly as he gazed down at the metallic sink.

Natasha looked up, startled at the sudden break in silence. "Sorry?"

"Loki," Thor glanced up. "He was, well, timid, to say the least. But so kind." Thor gave Natasha a broken smile. "Always so kind and... Forgiving. Even to those who looked down upon his practicing of magic, and his choice to stay in and learn rather than spar."

Natasha blinked at Thor. Why are you telling me this?

As of reading her thoughts, Thor gave a light chuckle, "I suppose this doesn't really matter now. But it's nice to remember, to talk about it."

She gave a halfhearted "yeah" in response, unsure for once, on how to respond.

"I just think that... I wish that maybe... If I had just shown him. How much I cared for him, that I always loved him, that I still do. That..." His voice choked, and he trailed off.

Slightly taken aback, Natasha stared at the mug in her hands. "Well, maybe now he understands that you did. Do." She glanced up at him and back to her mug.

"I can only hope, Agent Romanov." His smile faded as his gaze returned to the window.

Pausing for seconds that felt like hours, Natasha finally spoke up. "Thor?"

He turned back to her, an eyebrow raised. "Yes, Agent Romanov?"

"Tell me about Loki. Before... Everything happened."

Thor seemed grateful at Natasha's request, as he recalled his fondest memories of a younger trickster. Natasha found herself almost wishing that she had grown up as the two brothers had, with a happy childhood. An innocent, pristine childhood. But hearing the stories, she couldn't help but wonder how, with so many fond memories, Loki had ended up the way he did. When Thor looked away, she scrunched her nose slightly. It doesn't... Seem right.

"You know, Loki always had a fondness for Midgard." Thor continued, turning back to her. Natasha raised a skeptical eye brow, and Thor gave a raspy laugh. "Hard to believe, yes, but he did. When we first visited, with our father, Loki found such beauty here. He truly loved the wonders that Midgard held that even Asgard did not possess."

Natasha blinked, trying to imagine Loki as a child with wonder across his face. It was almost an image in her brain, but she couldn't quite grasp it.


As far as Tony was concerned, having Loki here changed nothing. He didn't see the guy (not that he wanted to; the possibility of anxiety attacks was still too great), he didn't hear the guy (his voice was always too... Unsettling, so this was fine with him), and he most certainly didn't ask much about him. His progress was Tony's business of course, his tower and all, plus he agreed to this (though still not sure how or why). But Tony couldn't help but avoid Loki like the plague. He didn't even go to that floor anymore, or the two floors above and below, if he could help it. So maybe it changed that. But nothing else.

Raising his eyes from his current project, Tony jumped at realizing it was morning. Pepper would be pissed. He sighed, rubbing his hands across his face, smearing it further with oil and dirt. Pushing his chair back, Tony let out a sigh and stood. Exiting the lab, he stumbled to a stop. Bruce stopped abruptly, nearly running into Tony. "I was just about to see if you were in there," he said, smiling as a greeting. Tony nodded his head and offered Bruce a tired smile. Pushing his glasses further up his nose, Bruce said, "Tony, you ought to get some sleep. You've been hiding away in the lab for days."

"I have been sleeping, Bruce," Tony said, yawning. He opened his eyes suddenly and looked at Bruce sternly. "And I am not hiding away Bruce. I don't hide in my own house. Or anywhere." Tony made a point to straighten himself and stiffen his jaw, but Bruce only gave a half hearted scoff.

"Tony, I get it. I do." Bruce said, and Tony gave him a sidelong glance. "The nightmares? I know you have them. We all do."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling sharply. "Can we not-" he started quietly, but Bruce kept talking.

"Loki," Tony felt himself stiffen slightly at the name, "Is getting better, not completely, but he has changed from how he was. He shouldn't be a problem anymore. You don't have to worry about him. You do have to sleep though." Tony's breath was quickening when Bruce put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey," he said, giving him a small shake. "Tony? Calm down, it's just us." Tony let out a shaky breath, nodding as the sick feeling began to fade. "But Tony, you haven't slept in days, or had much except coffee."

Tony let out a sigh, keeping his eyes closed for a second longer. "All... Alright. Alright."

Tony reluctantly followed Bruce as he led the way to the kitchen. They rounded the corner, and Tony almost ran into Bruce again when his friend stopped short. Tony nearly let out a remark before looking up and feeling his stomach flip and his face pale.

Loki's eyes were fixed on the ground, and Thor was speaking to him quietly. Natasha was seated at the island, and Tony could see her hand placed firmly on the gun strapped to her leg. Bruce unfroze suddenly and offered a greeting, making everyone else in the room jump. Loki's eyes locked onto Bruce and Tony for a moment before he swiftly looked back at the tile flooring. Thor placed a large hand on Loki's shoulder, but Loki only turned his head away, clenching his eyes shut. Thor frowned.

"It's... Nice... To see you, uh, about, Loki," Bruce said, his voice faltering slightly on the name. Loki swallowed, not taking his eyes away from the ground this time. It took Tony a moment, but he finally raised his hand in a half hearted greeting. But he could feel his pulse speeding up with each second.

"Hey, uh, Bruce, I have to go and..." Tony trailed off when Bruce turned his head to him, an almost pleading look in his eyes. Tony closed his mouth, setting his jaw to the side in a silent rebellion. Opening the fridge, Tony pulled out an energy drink, but it was suddenly gone and back in the fridge before he could blink. He gave Bruce a look, and saw that he was shaking his head.

"Proper food, Tony." He said quietly. They were both aware that Thor, and probably Loki, were staring at them. Natasha was set on watching their guest, though. Tony flinched as a muffin - blueberry, it looked like - and a mug of coffee were thrust at him. He looked down at them, smirking slightly at the coffee, and took them to the kitchen island. He sat two seats away from Natasha, and across from Loki and Thor, who had been standing by the sink the whole time. He took a bite of the muffin. A bit stale, but still pretty good. And the coffee was gone within seconds, the muffin following shortly after.


By the time Loki peered through the curtains, the sun had already almost risen completely above the buildings in the distance. He took a deep breath. Perhaps... Another day would be... Better. He shook his head, exhaling. Standing straight (but lacking the confidence that he once sent off in waves), Loki strode towards the door leading out of his room. I still do not know this home. Surely exploring without a guide... Or permission isn't as good of an idea as I had originally thought. But his hand was on the door handle. Steeling himself, he turned it. Click. He pushed it open, and stepped silently into the hallway. It was considerably colder in the halls, Loki noted, but it didn't seem to bother him. He swallowed, remembering why that would be, and made his way to the right. Left. Forward. This hall seemed almost endless, but Loki quickly got to a silver door. Two glowing buttons were set in the wall beside it, one pointing toward the ground, and the other to the ceiling. He reached a tentative hand forward, stopping two inches from the button pointing up. But... Where do these lead? If anywhere?

He pulled his hand back, letting it fall to his side. Turning to his left, a bit farther down the chilled hall was a stair case. One leading up, and it spiraled down to the floor below. Loki started forward, but stopped again. I still do not know the layout of this home. This surely was not my best idea, he decided, growling inwardly. But he had to find Thor. And ask him. If he could gather up his... Courage... To ask. Loki barely admitted to himself that he was fearful of the answer. He shouldn't be. But he was.

"An innocent mind fears nothing" Loki reminded himself, recalling a saying he had once heard, although unsure from where. But then he caught himself. He does fear things, many things. Because he is not innocent. I am filthy and retched and ruined. He cast his eyes angrily to the ground, and found himself pushing up the stairs. He was now on the floor above his own, and he tread silently in the echoing hallway. This floor was slightly warmer, with more windows and lighting, and there were more doors lined up than on his own floor. One of the doorways was gaping opened, and Loki decided to check that room first.

Lucky guess, he sniffed as he heard Thor's voice speaking softly to a silent presence.

"As a child, he had always been fearful of them," his brother voice was warm, but Loki detected a hint of regret, and... Sorrow. Thor was speaking of Frost Giants. They had been what Loki feared as a young child, and he swallowed hard. "I only wish the two of us had been taught differently than the stories we were told." He paused, as if waiting for a response, but was greeted with silence. "All children in Asgard were told stories of the Frost Giants being monstrous fiends, violent creatures, and were used to scare the young ones into behaving." Thor's voice choked slightly and Loki felt his throat catch. "If we had been taught differently, taught to be accepting and loving, maybe Loki would... I wouldn't have said..." That you'd kill them - us - all. Loki thought bitterly, his eyes falling to the ground.

"It's alright, Thor." Loki jumped at the second voice, forgetting that Thor had been talking to anyone but him. This was a woman's voice. Loki thought for a moment, before recalling, Natasha. Her voice seemed relaxed, but Loki could tell how tight and guarded she was about the topic of... Him. He blinked, understanding but bitter, and gathered himself to take a step forward. He had to know. Poking his head around the corner, Loki I audibly cleared his throat and took a step into the kitchen. Natasha whirled around, her red hair swishing, and Thor looked up, smiling, despite the sad gleam in his eyes.


When she saw his face looking around the corner timidly at them, her hand reflexed to the gun that she always strapped to her leg. Natasha saw how pale Loki had become. The bandages wrapped around his head were messed looking, and his eyes blinked slowly. Blue veins were visible around his eyes and on his neck, and he gulped audibly when he saw them. His green eyes were wide, as if he was afraid.

Thor's now booming voice startled Natasha as he greeted Loki with a warm, "Brother!" He flinched at Thor's voice as well, and Thor's face fell like a hurt child's. Loki swallowed again, and took a tentative step forward, eyeing Natasha's hand. She noticed and loosened her grip on the gun, and chose to offer him a tight lipped smile. He didn't return it, and instead let his gaze drift to the floor as he walked over to Thor. Natasha steadied her breathing when she noticed how fast it had become. Quiet but quick. That's all I am.

Loki began speaking too quiet for Natasha to hear, and so she sat there. Thor shook his head and said in the same quiet tone, "Brother, you must understand that... Always did... I still love you. We all do." Loki looked down and to the side, as if distracted by an invisible something on the tile. Thor took Loki's pale hands in his own warm ones, and Natasha saw Loki's lips move.

Again she jumped when another voice came from the doorway. She turned to see Bruce, and a disheveled Tony standing behind him like a young animal. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Loki start, and Thor's head whip up to see the new comers. Bruce nodded at them one more time before leading Tony to the fridge. Natasha could hear them bickering quietly over something, probably Tonys diet (again) and why he needs to take better care of himself (again), but her eyes were watching Loki, and he was watching Bruce and Tony. Thor put a hand on Loki's shoulder, trying to get his attention, but Loki let out the quietest of whimpers as he pulled away. His eyes seemed empty as they stared, almost through, the ground.

So broken.