A/N: this is from Ug's POV okay guys

"Ugggg." My name is Ug. I am a caveman. I am stupid. I like to eat meat. Sometimes I eat raw meat. Sometimes I cook it. I always hunt the meat myself. I search, desperately looking for meat to eat.

I am dirty. I do not wash. I have long hair. My hair is dirty. I do not wash it. I am naked. I do not wear clothes because I am too stupid. My wife, Ugetta is the same. She is hairy, and she does not wear clothes either. I wonder what clothes are. I don't know.

I am sitting on my lonesome. I pick my nose, and then excrete bodily wastes on to the ground. I am dirty, and stupid, and ugly. I know no better. My life goes on like this.

One day, I hear a noise. I suspect there might be meat near where I hear the noise, so I crawl over there to investigate. It is a big thing in an unnatural color. It looks pink. A superman comes out. He has shiny skin and his teeth are odd. Following him is a woman. My kind of woman. She is well groomed, shaven, and beautiful. She wears makeup, and is very hot. I think she is the most sexy thing I have ever seen. Ugetta can never compare. I walked up to her to try to talk.

"Me, ug. You?"

She said

"Oh my god! You are the uglisest smelliest diriest thing ever! Don't you know how to bathe? Get up off of your smelly butt and help us find some Ubikitus."

I reply

"You, god?"

She said

"No! God is some guy above. Me no god."

I reply

"You, no god?"

She said

"Yes, me, no god."

I reply

"No god is very pretty"

She said

"Thank you, but I am only into vampires."

My brain ticked, and then I realized the way the universe should be. We built houses, bathed, showered, and learned to communicate. That beautiful woman had created: society!