Title: Communication
Series: Insontis
Rating: G
Characters: (this bit) Kirk, bb!Spock, bit of McCoy and Uhura
Word Count: (this bit) 1096
Warnings: Crack. Quite ghastly amounts of fluff. Written by me. Utter lack of plot. It's not meant to be real fic, it's not even meant to necessarily be IC, since one of the protagonists literally is not in character.
Summary: Starfleet Command and the Federation have become interested in the Insonti technology which transformed their most prominent starship captain into an infant some weeks previous. The Enterprise has been handed the assignment of performing further research into the device, while developing a deeper rapport with this as-yet non-Federation planet, in the hopes of producing an allegiance between the Insonti people and the Federation.
This Bit Summary: Spock has vocabulary lessons in Federation Standard. Kirk has vocabulary lessons in Vulcan. And general lessons in baby Vulcan tantrums. Warning for a disgusting amount of fluff and Vulcan lessons to those of you who like that kind of thing. :P

Chronological Order of This 'Verse:

When I Was a Child
Impeccable Aim
Lesson One
A Matter of Genetics
Taking Sides
Fangirls
Out of the Mouth of Babes
A Two-Way Trust
Lesson Two
Unleashed
Family Interlude
Artistic License
Blackmail Potential
Captain Sunshine
Sunshine and Darkness
Ducks in Space
Smart is Sexy
Lesson Four
Never Too Young
The Sincerest Form of Flattery
Lesson Five
Persuasive Arguments
A Decided Lack of Amusement (1/4) (2/4) (3/4) (4/4)
Catch a Falling Star
An Infernal Device
Lesson Six (and Seven, really) (1/4) (2/4) (3/4) (4/4)
The Second Time Around
Lessons Eight and Nine
Lessons Ten and Eleven (1/2) (2/2)
Outside the Box
Comprehension (1/4) (2/4) (Interlude) (3/4) (4/4)
And So It Begins
Fear Is Only Embarrassing in Public
Never Tease a Vulcan
Best Destiny (1/4) (2/4) (3/4) (4/4)
Parting Ways (1/6) (2/6) (3/6) (4/6) (5/6) (6/6)
The Wounds of a Friend (1/4) (2/4) (3/4) (4/4)
Lessons Learned

-

A Child of Two Worlds
First Impressions
Instincts
Lesson One, of sorts
Communication
Lesson Two
Lesson Three


"Khi-gad-yem?"

"Lunch."

"L'unsch?"

"Lunch. L-un-chhah."

Seated at a small table in Rec Room Three, Kirk looked down at his small companion and grinned as tiny slanted brows furrowed. Spock glanced down once more at the miniature data-padd before him and the linguistics flashcard which had appeared.

"Lunch," the toddler declared, glancing shyly up through his bangs for approval.

Kirk's smile widened, and he felt himself melt a little unashamedly; it would take a far harder heart than his to successfully resist such a cute and openly curious kid. At barely two years old, Spock's piping half-Vulcan, half-Standard had already succeeded in wrapping every single crewman on board around his tiny little finger.

"Indeed," the captain praised warmly. "What do you like to have for lunch, Spock?"

"Bar-kas'mah," the toddler replied promptly. (1)

"Right, and like I said my Vulcan is colloquial at best," Kirk muttered, hastily pulling up the linguistics bank on his own personal padd. The closest Standard equivalent was…

"You are not having French toast for lunch, Spock," he said, laughing heartily at the affronted expression he received. Obviously, to a two-year-old Vulcan mind, it was logical to eat that which appealed most.

"F'renge toes?"

"French toast," he repeated, leaning with his arms around the little one to type the standard spelling onto the flashcard application. A picture flashed up onto the screen a moment later, and Spock nodded solemnly in approval, patiently tolerating the half-hug with a by-now familiar forbearance. "Maybe for breakfast tomorrow, but not lunch."

"Po?"

"Because I said so," he replied without thinking, only belatedly realizing he was turning into his own mother. Giving Spock a little squeeze, he then sat back and smiled reassuringly at the slightly scowling toddler. "And because it is not healthy for a growing kan-bu."

"Nash-veh ri'kan-bu!" Spock cried indignantly. (2)

Barely restraining his laughter, the captain managed to tone it down to a grin. He cleared his throat, aware that his communications chief was sitting in a nearby chair reading, and currently giggling into her book, having understood every word of their slow conversation. Uhura had been the one to suggest the flashcard method of sharing Vulcan and Terran Standard words, and so far it had been a huge hit with their resident baby First Officer.

"Standard, Spock. Teraya-eingelsu."

"I am…not – not – an in-fant!"

"No, you are not a baby, Spock," Kirk declared with appropriate solemnity. "And you are not just a child. You are…"

Large dark eyes blinked quizzically up at him, waiting patiently for his verdict.

He ran a hand through his hair, and drew frantically on every bit of obscure High Vulcan he knew.

"Pi'ne ki'ne?" he hazarded, vaguely registering Uhura's startled glance and then soft smile of approval. (3)

Spock's tiny eyebrow inched upward in obvious skepticism.

"Right, I probably just butchered about five ancient Vulcan doctrines," he muttered, face flushing in embarrassment. "Never mind. What's next on our list there, Spock?"

Spock studied his datapadd for a moment in silence, and then punched in a sequence to draw up another flashcard.

"Ensign. Next is Lieutenant," Kirk read out, seeing the pictures of Starfleet rank insignias. "And that's the braid for a Lieutenant-Commander."

Spock leaned over curiously at that. Tiny fingers reached out hesitantly to trace over the triple braid on the captain's gold sleeve.

"Khart-lan?"

"Captain," he agreed, smiling down at the child who was so intently studying his sleeve with the inborn curiosity of a true scientist.

"Sha'khart-lan," his tiny First Officer declared with finality. (4)

There was probably some regulation about the ship's captain wearing a sappy grin in the middle of a lower decks rec room, but at that moment he really couldn't be bothered to care much. "Am I now."

Dark eyes rolled ceiling-ward in a childish expression of exasperation. "Veling." Spock gave his arm a gentle pat, and promptly returned to clicking through his flashcards. (5)

Still smiling, Kirk glanced up as a figure slid into place beside them at the table, nodding a greeting to Uhura across Spock's bent head.

"Soooo, whatcha got there, kiddo?" McCoy inquired amiably.

"Teraya-eingelsu mesukh," Spock replied without looking up.

"Federation Standard and Vulcan lessons – on both sides," the captain clarified ruefully. "Never thought I'd have to brush up on anything more intricate than No thank you, I would prefer water in Vulcan, I have to say."

Spock paused, tiny fingers poised over the keypad. "Th'ank you?" he inquired, eyebrow raised in puzzlement.

"Ummm…Nemaiyo?" (6)

The toddler hummed in comprehension. "Shaya tonat," he corrected.

Kirk nodded in exasperation toward the little one. "What he said, Bones."

Spock's little head jerked up once more, eyes wide. "Hinek-teraya?" he asked incredulously.

Hazel eyes blinked slowly, and the captain finally shook his head after another moment of wracking his brain. "Yeah, you lost me there, Spock."

McCoy took one look at Uhura's silently quivering shoulders, and sighed with the tolerance of a man who has done his fair share of dealing with insane superiors for several years, thank you, and didn't sign up or get paid for daddy duty with either of them. "I believe he thinks you just called me a skeleton, Jim."

"Oh. Heh." He glanced down, and saw Spock regarding him suspiciously. "Um. How am I supposed to explain nicknames to a Vulcan child?"

"Nash-veh ri'kan-bu!" Spock all but bellowed, drawing the startled, slack-jawed attention of every crewman within fifteen meters as he slammed his data-padd down on the table with Vulcan-strong little hands.

McCoy began employing the better part of valor – retreat in the face of an enraged baby Vulcan. He silently thanked every deity in the quadrant that there were no flying soup bowls this time around, and made a mental note to have an enormous crate of chocolate sent to the Lady Amanda when they were next in the Vulcan sector.

"Never mind the nicknames, figure out in what mirror universe is a tantrum logical?"


(1) Bar-kas is a general word for select spices such as cinnamon and nutmeg; Pir mah is a Vulcan breakfast food meaning, literally, strawberry toast. Spock is a child of two food groups, obviously. :P

(2) Literally, "I am not a baby!"

(3) Pi- being the diminutive, Ne ki'ne meaning shieldmate, or one who can be depended upon to have one's back in battle – literally, it is a colloquialization meaning little shield-partner.

(4) "My captain"

(5) Translated into Standard as of course.

(6) Nemaiyo is much more informal; a simple statement of appreciation like the English "thanks, man." Shaya tonat is the correct, more polite way of expressing gratitude.