Dear Death Diary
Seven - Seven - Seven
"We should probably get back to Tails," I suggested, getting up off the bed.
"Yeah, he might kill me..." Sonic said, slightly laughing.
"That wouldn't be too bad," I joked.
Sonic put his arm over his heart and wiped an imaginary tear off of his face, "that hurts."
I laughed, and playfully punched his shoulder. "You know I'm kidding."
"Ow!" he rubbed his shoulder, "that hurt!"
I laughed, "aw, I guess someone needs to get a little tougher." I opened the bedroom door, and headed into the kitchen to find Eleanor cooking up some bacon.
Eleanor took her attention away from the bacon, and smiled at Sonic and I, "look who's finally out of bed. Sounds like you two were having fun."
I frowned, staring at what was left of a poor little pig, completely tuning out everything else. Why bacon?
"Something wrong, dear?"
"I'm a vegetarian," I said, disgusted.
"I gotta go... check up on Tails. Meet me at my house later?" Sonic asked, slowly backing up towards the door.
I nodded, "alright."
"You don't want any bacon?" Eleanor asked Sonic.
Sonic shook his head, "thanks, but I have to get going. Maybe next time. See ya," he said just before leaving.
"Want something else?" Eleanor asked, "I have lots of other things."
"I'm fine, thanks anyways."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded, "positive."
"But you've got to be hungry."
I shook my head, "I'm not... Sorry." It was true I wasn't hungry. Even if I was, I wouldn't eat. I never ate when I woke up... I barely ate regardless of when it was. "I'm gonna go catch up with Sonic, I'll see you later." I quickly grabbed my shoes before running out the front door. I leaned against the wall in the hallway and put my shoes on.
I headed towards the stairs - not wanting to take the elevator again, and ran down them as quickly as I could.
I started walking when I got outside the building, I was too tired to run any longer.
–
When I got to Sonic's house, I was about to knock when I heard voices. I froze, listening to what was happening.
"I'm not going to, Tails!" Sonic's voice yelled. "Why do you care so much?"
"She's my sister!" Miles yelled back.
"Not anymore! You abandoned her! I'll never do that!"
I shook my head. Was telling him a mistake? Miles did not deserve that. The past was the past.
"You left her, too!" Miles said, a lot quieter.
"To protect her!"
"I -"
"I can't deal with you right now!"
The front door suddenly swung open, revealing an angry blue hedgehog. He looked surprised to see me, but his face instantly lit up. "Amy! Hey!"
"Hi... Good timing," I forced a smile, acting as though I hadn't heard anything.
"Did you hear that?" he asked.
I tried my best to look innocent as I cocked my head to the side, "hear what?"
"Never mind, let's go somewhere," he stepped outside and closed the door beside him. He started walking down the driveway; I followed.
"So... what didn't I hear?" I asked, trying to make conversation. It was expected for someone who 'didn't' hear to ask something like so, right?
"Don't worry about it," he mumbled.
I shrugged, "alright."
He looked over at me with curious eyes. He smiled as I looked up at him.
–
We ended up sitting on a hill beside a highway. We were looking up at the clouds. "I want to visit another planet before I die," Sonic said. "What do you want to do before you die?"
"Turn eighteen," I said, unthinkingly.
He laughed an odd laugh, "why wouldn't you turn eighteen?"
I frowned. Why did I say that? "I don't know," I lied, unable to think of a reasonable excuse.
He propped himself up on his elbow. "Never trust," he whispered.
I looked over at him with a frown upon my face, unsure of what he was saying.
"Was that written in your blood?"
My mouth made an 'o' shape as I realized what he was talking about. That page I ripped out of my black book. "I..." was all I managed. I couldn't exactly lie. What else could it be written with?
"Can I see your arms?"
I propped myself up on my elbow as well, and looked at my covered arms, realizing I had been wearing the same shirt and jeans for a few days. I needed to get changed and have a shower sometime. That was at the top of my to-do list.
I remained silent, leaving Sonic's question unanswered.
He didn't need to need my scars and current cuts. It wasn't very pretty.
"Please?"
I sighed and sat up. I slowly pulled my sleeves up, revealing my arms, which only Mina had ever seen.
I looked over at Sonic, who's eyes were wide and focussed only on my arms. He remained completely still and silent.
"Would you say something?" I said after what felt like an hour.
His eyes fixed on mine as he opened his mouth, but said nothing.
I looked down at my arms, taking a brief second to actually look at the damage I had done over the years. Every inch of my arms were covered in scars and cuts. It was... well, normal, for me. I guess it would be horrifying for anyone else to see. I pulled the sleeves of my shirt down, waiting for Sonic to say something or move.
"Wow," he finally said.
I shrugged in response, laying back down on the grass.
"Does each one have a story behind it?"
I slightly chuckled, "more like every ten have the same story, but it's all the same story, really."
"Which is?"
I shrugged again, "people lie, shit happens.. Life just sucks."
"I used to believe that for every bad thing that happens, a good thing is waiting for you."
I rolled my eyes, "well something huge must be waiting for me. I can't even remember when something went right. Why don't you believe that anymore?"
"It started to seem stupid."
"Why?"
"Last year things sucked pretty bad..." he trailed off.
"But it got better."
"It'll get better for you, too."
I took my eyes away from the clouds and looked at Sonic. I smiled, "you're a good person, Sonic. Good things will happen to you. I'm not, so, I get bad things."
"That's not true," he shook his head. "You're a good person... with great problems."
I sighed, "if only you knew..." I set my attention back to the clouds.
"Knew what?"
"You'll understand after I turn eighteen." After I die.
X
"So there's a party tonight," Sonic said, leaning against the doorframe of Eleanor's apartment. "You in?"
I shook my head, "I'm not a party person."
"Come on, it won't be very big."
"Three people is too much for me. I'm not a people person, at all. Parties are just... stupid. What's so fun about getting drunk and dancing with a bunch of sweaty strangers?"
Sonic frowned, clearly not having an answer.
I shrugged, "exactly." I laughed as I opened the apartment door.
"Well.." Sonic said, still speechless.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, finishing his sentence. Him and I were beginning to spend a lot of time together... it was... well, weird.
He nodded, "yeah. Today was fun."
I nodded, agreeing, though I wouldn't have said 'fun.' I would have used something like interesting.
He began leaning in, closer to my face.
I completely froze. Part of me was screaming to run away, and he was getting to close. Another part of me wanted him to kiss me... Even though the first part was louder than the second, I couldn't bring myself to move.
Eventually, his lips crashed onto mine. After a moment I closed my eyes and decided to kiss him back.
It felt like I was being electrocuted, there were sparks vigorously running through me. It was almost... nice. I pulled away, biting my lip, not sure what to think of it.
"Sorry," Sonic muttered.
I suddenly shoved Sonic against the wall and crashed my lips on his. Our lips began to dance in sync. There was much more passion in this kiss.
I felt Sonic wrap his arms around me, pulling me close to him.
I smiled, pulling away for air.
"I wasn't expecting that," he breathed.
I buried my face in his chest, slightly blushing. "Sorry."
He lifted my chin up with his finger so I was looking at him, "feel free to do that whenever you want."
I felt my face get redder. I looked away, hiding my face, again. "I.. I'll see you later." I quickly jumped across the hallway, into the apartment, closing the door behind me. I put my back against the door, completely dazed.
"Someone was just kissed," Eleanor's voice said.
I looked up to see her sitting on the couch, turned to face me.
"You saw?" I asked. She had a clear view to where Sonic and I were standing. The door was open, after all.
"It's written all over your face," she smiled.
I returned the smile, with another blush, and headed into my room.
I took my razor out of my pocket and cut myself, just once. It wasn't deep, or painful. I didn't even cause myself to bleed. It was just a harmless cut, that would serve as a warning.
I was getting too close to Sonic. I needed to do something about that. Fast.
A/N: Well, that's all for now...
LOL, I'm kidding.
However, I wasn't sure how to fill in three entire months, so I've decided to do the following:
— 30 Days Later —
Dear Death Diary.
I haven't written to you in a while. I've been busy. Who would have thought? Me, busy? Ha!
Sonic and I have been spending all day together, everyday. It was... nice. I guess. We always had the time of our lives. I could be who ever I wanted to be, and he was always perfectly fine with whoever I was. We spend most of the time at Eleanor's apartment. Whenever we go out, which is mostly just to school, everyone thinks we're dating. I guess the constant kissing doesn't help with denying the whole thing...
I've found out a lot about him. His family, his past, everything happening now...
Just before he got kicked out, he started getting abused. Not sure why, but I feel like killing his mom for that. Speaking of, his mom had a stroke, so she's a little more fucked up than I had thought, and his brother is a total alcoholic and drug addict. Sonic was the only normal one in the family, and he still ended up fine. Go figure.
Every few days we go see Miles. He's great. He thinks of me as a sister. So far he seems like he means it when he says he won't betray me again.
Mina has begun to back off, and I haven't seen Frank since I left. Eleanor gave me some of her old clothes, and some money to get some of my own. She's very nice, and quite helpful.
I've been trying not to cut, but it's hard. I slip a few times... well, more like a lot. Eleanor found out when I always had blood on my sleeves. She understands, but wants me to stop. Miles is still trying to convince me that it gets better, and Sonic... Oh, Sonic. He's very upset with me. He hates me cutting myself. It's rather hard to stop something that I've been doing for so many years. I think it's an obsession.
Anyways, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I know I have to do it, but I can't stay away from Sonic. I still plan on killing myself on my birthday, but I know I'll end up hurting everyone. Especially Sonic.
I've hurt a lot of people - not because I like to, but to protect myself, but ending my life isn't exactly protecting myself. It'd hurt Miles, Eleanor and Sonic.
With Sonic recently losing his father, I don't want to put anymore pain on him...
I need to find a way to get unattached to him. I intend on doing so, I just haven't fully thought out how, yet. I'll keep you updated.
-Amy Rose.
I closed my black book and put it in between the two mattresses. I then headed out, towards Sonic's house. We had arranged to hang out and do nothing all day, as usual.
I saw an unfamiliar car parked in Sonic's driveway, replacing his, so I knocked on the door instead of walking right in, unsure of who might be there.
The door opened, and a green hedgehog stood in front of me. He looked just like Sonic.
"Sonic?" I asked. I didn't know if it was him or not - he was green, after all.
"Yeah, baby," the green hedgehog said.
"You don't sound..." I trailed off.
The hedgehog grabbed my hand and pulled me inside the house, kicking the door shut. He shoved me against the door and kissed me.
I was about to kiss him back when I noticed the alcohol and cigarette taste. This wasn't Sonic, it was his brother! I immediately tried to shove him off, with no avail. He was too strong.
Eventually, when he needed air and pulled away, I ducked under his arm, running straight to the kitchen. I grabbed the first thing I saw, which was, surprisingly, a broom. I held it up, defensively at Sonic's brother who followed close behind.
"Oh, that little thing won't keep me away from you, baby girl."
My eyes widened with disgust, and realization that he was right. What good would a broom do? He could easily grab it from me or use it against me. I needed something better; scarier. I quickly scanned the area, only finding knives. I calculated my chances of getting to the knives before he got to me, but they weren't very high. I was doomed...
X
"What's wrong?" Eleanor's voice asked.
"Nothing," I said, trying to keep my anger under control.
"You know where to find me if you want to talk," she said before leaving, closing the door behind her.
I let out a frustrated sigh as I continued pacing around my room. I eventually gave up, and grabbed my razor. I ran it across my arm, just once, then put it back.
I sighed again, beginning to calm down. I opening the door, heading into the living room. I stood in front of Eleanor who was sitting on the couch. "He kissed me!" I yelled. "He kissed me," I repeated quieter, but with more anger.
"Who?"
"Sonic's damn brother! Ugh!"
"What happened?"
I sat down beside Eleanor, taking in a deep breath. "I went to Sonic's house like normal, but he wasn't there. His brother was! The drug addict, alcoholic. He said he was Sonic, which I had a hard time believing. I mean, come on, the creep was green. Green! After he kissed me, I realized who he was. I couldn't get him off me. When he finally got his worthless a..." I rolled my eyes, forgetting I shouldn't swear in front of an elder, "butt," I corrected, "off of me, I grabbed a broom. Great weapon, right? That was so damn useless. Unfortunately and obviously, he got passed me and kissed me again. That's when Miles got there. Sonic's brother freaked out and let me go, so I ran out the back door."
"Oh dear..."
"What do I do?" I threw my head back so I was looking at the ceiling.
"There's only two things you can do."
I looked over at the wise old lady. "Go on?"
"You can either tell Sonic what happened, or don't."
I frowned. "That's... ugh," I groaned. "What if he takes it the wrong way?"
Eleanor shrugged, "there's only one way to find out."
I sighed. She was right... I had to tell Sonic. Maybe this would make him would change his mind about me, and he wouldn't want anything to do with me.
X
"Hey, Ames. Where were you today?" Sonic said. There was a hint of worry in his voice.
I sighed, and opened the door, allowing Sonic to come in Eleanor's apartment. "I was, um." I looked over at Eleanor.
She nodded, before heading into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
"I was..." I paused, biting my lip. I knew I had to tell him. It would solve everything. It was for the best, I had to... but I just couldn't get the words out. "I just got busy," I said. I mentally slapped myself.
"I see," Sonic said, obviously not believing me. "Well, do you want to come over now? There's something you might be interested in hearing."
I froze. Did he know? Did Miles see? Did his brother tell him, or Miles? Was he going to bust me? I slowly nodded my head, "sure."
Sonic nodded once before leading me out of the apartment. We walked down the stairs in silence. The entire car ride to his house was also silent.
He led me into his house, also in silence, and sat down on the couch.
I sat on the couch, as far away from him as the couch allowed. "So?" I finally asked, curious as to know what exactly he wanted to talk about.
"My brother stopped by today," he said, simply.
"Oh..." He knew. Oh God, he knew.
"Tails thinks he was trying to rob us."
I looked over at him. He... He didn't know? "Why would he do that?" I asked, acting completely innocent, like I had nothing to hide.
Sonic shrugged, "I don't know, but he's probably going to show up again. I don't want to leave this house unattended, so... would you like to, maybe, move in... here?"
My jaw dropped. Sweet baby Jesus, he did know. He must know. "I..." I was speechless. Was I supposed to give in and tell him or go along with this? Maybe this was all just a setup to get me to move in with him?
"Amy?"
I looked at him, snapping out of my thoughts.
He scooted over closer to me. He took my arm and pulled my sleeve up. I pursed my lips as he saw my new cut.
"Amy... You've been in hell for too long," Sonic sighed.
I shrugged, "well if I hadn't gotten lost, the devil wouldn't have found me. He's been leading me deeper and deeper into hell for so many years. I'm so far in hell now, there's no way out."
Sonic shook his head, "there is a way out," he stood up and extended his hand to me, "and I intend on getting you out, and bringing you to paradise."
I took his hand, and he pulled me up off the couch, into his arms. I slightly smiled. "I don't think that's possible," I whispered.
"I'll never give up," he whispered back before softly kissing me.
Maybe he didn't know... Maybe he didn't need to know... Not right now, anyways. It wouldn't hurt to wait a few days, right?
A/N: Well this is the end. Boo!
I started writing this two days ago... and I only managed 3000 words? I had such writers block, I managed to get some things written, though. {:
The next chapters shall be very... interesting. [;
Anyways, this chapter would not be written without Kelly Clarkson, Rodney Atkins, Selena Gomez, and Madonna. Weird combination, right? There was someone else... I just can't remember who. Hmm...
Well, anyways, I'll shut up now, haha.
Keep reviewing?[; I love reading them {:
