Chapter 6

I shall not go into the details of exactly what I did in Hell to get the rest of the information that I needed. Suffice it to say that there is a valid reason for demons to fear me. It took me a few weeks to find a demon that could be tortured into revealing the plan. I will say that my feelings sank as I realized that I was perfectly correct. I was left with a choice and that was not one I particularly relished.

I am by no means squeamish mind you. I have done my fair share of bloodletting over the millennia. I have wielded my sword in obedience at targets that were selected. When I was told to hold my weapon I obeyed. When I was told the exact purpose I was to fill, I obeyed. I have always obeyed. It is a difficult thing to explain obedience to beings that have Free Will. None of my kind would deign to actually disobey. Those who disobey are banished. They are cast out of home and cast down in to the depths of the pit. They are separated from the light and call of Grace and the depression that follows is terrible. There is the painful knowledge that there can be no going home. This is not to say that there is no forgiveness for my kind, for there is. It is just that in order to earn that forgiveness, a great sacrifice must be made. It is the unwillingness to perform the sacrifice that has severed so many from their home. My burden is that until they all go home, I cannot. This is the secret, which Michael and the others have long wished to pull from me. Yet it is not as simple as I would hope.

Armed with my answer I left Hell to walk the surface in search of John Winchester. I followed his presence to of all places Lawrence. What was even further puzzling to me was the presence of both Sam and Dean. They were all at their house but not together. John stood outside waiting for something to happen. I appeared just as there was a bright flash of light through the house. I placed my hand on John's shoulder and he uncharacteristically jumped.

"John," I chuckled at his fright. "A big, bad hunter like yourself is afraid of me?"
"Kelsey!" John recovered quickly. "How the hell did you find me?" Then he placed his hand on his cheek and grimaced. "Never mind."
"Why are Sam and Dean in the house without you?" I asked.

"They don't know I'm here," John told me.

My eyes widened in shock. I had to control the urge to strike him. "And why not?"

"Because there are things that I have to find out first Kelsey," John faced me. "You know that."
"Your sons need you," I advised him.

"Let's go," John pulled me with him.

I glanced back and saw a woman returning with two children. Sam and Dean greeted her with Missouri. I frowned at the sight of them. They looked shaken but they were fine. I wondered at this game that John played.

John drove to Missouri's house where we waited for her. I refused to speak to John and that seemed to suit him for wasn't in a great hurry to speak to me. After about twenty minutes the door opened and Missouri bade goodnight to both Sam and Dean. She entered the house and stopped when she saw me perched on the edge of a chair.

"Kelsey!" she smiled. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for John," I smiled in return.

She nodded and then saw John seated with his chin resting on his intertwined fingers.

"Well you found him," Missouri's voice held a note of derision.

I was surprised by that note in her voice, "He's giving you trouble I take it."

"Oh you mean by not speaking to his sons?" Missouri asked.

"Yep," I replied.

"He won't do that. Especially now that they need him the most what with Sam's abilities and all," Missouri shot John a withering look.

John didn't raise his head.

"Wait a minute," I sat up straighter. "Sam's abilities have shown up?"

John's head snapped up at that moment. "What do you mean shown up?"
"Hush up," I told him. "Missouri, you're saying that Sam's been having visions? Since when?"

Missouri looked at me oddly, "But I thought you would have bonded with Sam since he was a baby."
"I couldn't. It wasn't possible," I answered.

"Dean told me that Sam has been having these dreams that come true," Missouri nodded.

"He told you or you read it?" I asked.

"It's the same thing," Missouri grinned.

"Will you please answer me as to why you're acting as though Sam should have had this thing all along?" John demanded.

I turned to him and studied him for a moment. I was about to speak when I sensed something.
"Missouri, I think you had better return to the house," I told her.

She stared at me for a moment and then quickly left.

"You haven't answered my question Kelsey," John reminded.

"That's true," I replied. "I haven't."

"Kelsey," John's voice rose a notch in volume.

"You know, John," I began sweetly. "Shouting at me doesn't work."
"There are times when I wished that you had stayed human," John muttered.

"But I wasn't a very good human," I retorted.

"You could be handled," John argued.

I recalled the time I had spent with them. While it was true that they spent a great deal of time 'manhandling' me. It was also true that I was far from controllable.

"You're engaging in revisionist history John," I taunted.

John folded his arms and sat back in his chair. The phone rang and it was Missouri. She spoke to John briefly and I ignored their conversation.

We waited until morning for Missouri returned. She came in through the door.

"That boy, such power," she shook her head. "But why he couldn't sense his own father is beyond me."

John looked up at her sadly. "You really think it was Mary's presence that saved the boys?"

"I do," Missouri nodded.

John played with the wedding band he still wore. I thought of the fact that it had been twenty-two years and he still wore that ring.

Missouri became impatient, "John Winchester why don't you call your children?"

"I can't. Not yet. Not 'til I find out what's really going on," he looked over at me.

I rolled my eyes at him.

Missouri stepped forward, "It's not my place to argue with something as old as you are Kelsey. But you have to tell us what's going on."

John's hunter's instincts kicked it at this point. "How do you know how old she is Missouri?"

Missouri sat in her chair. "She knew my grandmother Memphis when she was a child. Kelsey was here the night my grandmother night died, which incidentally was the same night Mary died. Kelsey battled whatever it was."

"It was a demon," I told her.

"You could have said something a long time ago," Missouri scolded.

"I didn't know," I pleaded my ignorance.

"So you know what she is?" John asked Missouri.
"No," Missouri shook her head. "Kelsey is something that is indefinable. She is not like anything I have ever encountered before. But I can tell she's not limited to such descriptions as good or evil."

"Are you saying that Angels exist Missouri?" John's face was grave.

"I've walked in the presence of Angels, John," Missouri told him. "But she's something far different."

I leaned forward at that point. "It would help perhaps to not speak about me as though I was not here."

John turned to me. "What are you Kelsey?"

"I'm not something that can be defined. However, you want answers John. I have a question first," I bargained.

"What question?" John returned.

"I want to know how you plan on tracking this demon?" I queried.

"Bobby and I have come up with a tracking system. When we learned that there were other families that had a similar experience we began to search for common threads. I've been tracking the signs and attempting to locate the demon. I'll admit that I've had a couple of scary run ins, but nothing that I couldn't handle," John admitted.

"So, that explains the urgency," I whispered.

"What?" Missouri and John declared in unison.

"To explain this, will take some time," I told them.

"Go ahead," Missouri waved her hand at me. "I'm very interested."

I looked at John and he gave me a sharp nod.

I took a deep breath and began slowly. "It was always in the very beginning decided that humans would have Free Will."

"You're talking about the legend of the fall from Heaven," Missouri said.

I chuckled. "Well, what is legend and myth to you is a very painful recollection to me."

John's head shot up at that statement. "You're an angel."
"Not the kind that you think of when you're going to bed as a child, John," I said. "I'm one of those who it is said carries awful weapons."

"Well," John mused. "You're certainly violent enough."

"So what does this demon want?" Missouri demanded.

"To win the war," I answered.

"The war?" John asked. "But…" his eyes clouded as he remembered what I had said earlier about the war still being waged.

"This war is the same war from the beginning?" Missouri whispered.

"Yes," I stood and walked to the window. "It wasn't expected I suppose. It was always possible and maybe it was known but not revealed. No one knows really. We were simply expected to obey. Some wanted answers and what started off as a simple argument. Well…" I stopped for a moment.

"Kelsey?" Missouri's voice reflected her concern.

"I'm okay," I smiled at her.

"What is your real name?" John asked.

"No one knows my real name," I replied.

"But the others don't call you Kelsey," Missouri frowned.

"Of course not, I have a name among them. But that is not my real name," I told her.

"What is your real name?" John repeated.

"Not even I am privileged to know that name," I said sadly.

"Why not?" John demanded.

Missouri remained silent. Her mind was mulling over things that she had observed. I can guess at this for she fixed me with a steady gaze.

"Memphis said that you were different from all others," Missouri's face was serious.

"Yes," I nodded. "She was always saying that."

"You don't have to tell us anymore," Missouri said.

"Like hell she doesn't!" John thundered.

"John Winchester," Missouri turned on him, "Do you have any idea how fortunate you are that you had this being in your life. She could have chosen to move on but she bonded with your children…"

Missouri turned to me and her eyes grew troubled. She had had a revelation.

"The demon bonded with Sammy didn't it?" she whispered.

I nodded my head sorrowfully.

"My son's going to become evil?" John's voice became hoarse with emotion.

"The poison will eat at him," Missouri frowned. "Why not just possess him?"

"Because only a human can do what needs to be done," I answered cryptically.

"What?" they both asked as their confusion grew.

"The demon wants them to do something. However, it cannot be done by a possessed human and since no human would willingly do what it wants, it must influence by poison," I explained.

"How long has this been going on?" Missouri asked.

"There were rumors for some time now," I replied.

"Time doesn't move the same way for us as it does for you," Missouri said grimly.

"They've never succeeded," John surmised.

"Well the children were often stopped," I answered.

"How?" John asked.

I stared at him for a moment. I looked down at my hands and contemplated lying.

"There were attempts to save them John," I assured him. "The poison would have completely corrupted their souls. But once they gave in and accepted the corruption, there was only one option left." I stared directly into his eyes. "They were killed."

Missouri's hands flew over her mouth and John's face hardened into granite.