I'm actually terrified of thunder.
Maybe it was because of my circumstances or not, I hate the crack of thunder. Rain, I can make do as long as it doesn't pour hard enough for me to lose my sense of sight. If that's the case then we have a problem. I was hesitant on meeting her at the café today for only two reasons. One was because of our tense exchange from our last meeting. Another reason was because I knew it was going to rain.
Rainy days like this usually had me under my blankets in bed, huddled in a ball to rid myself from the world. Because when it rained, it gave this world another point of view for me. And I don't enjoy it.
"Don't worry," Lina murmurs out of nowhere. As I look at her, she keeps her gaze straight ahead. "We're almost there."
I lowly grunt in response, somewhat taken aback by the tone in her voice. Thoughtful. Her voice was thoughtful and sympathetic. I could've sworn she didn't hear me when I admitted it out loud. Then again, this woman is incredible for seeing right through me. Mind you, that'll be the only compliment I give her on that. I'm still agitated that she can read me like an open book.
True to her words, we reach the café. We choose to sit down at the table where we last sat, which I'm grateful for. The need to feel secluded was stronger than ever. I tightly ball my hands into fists as I take a quick peek at the window beside me. A shiver rolls down my spine at the sight. I look back and meet a pair of curious green eyes.
"What do you want to drink?" Lina asks, nodding her head up at the waiter. As if seeing the distress in my eyes, she decides for me. "We'll both get an ice coffee. Espresso. Double shot."
Once the waiter leaves, I feel her strong gaze land back on me. "What?" I mumble, flexing my fingers anxiously.
She opens her mouth to say something. I meet her eyes, wondering if she was going to call me out on my fear. "So, how was your week?" She questions instead. I feel my eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. Whatever she was about to say was quickly changed.
I shrug, a little relieved at the change of subject to keep myself distracted.
"Did you do anything?"
I merely shake my head, still flexing my fingers.
I hear her sigh. "Look, if you want to be distracted from the rain, you might as well make conversation."
"I'm not scared of the rain," I reply, keeping my voice and face calm.
Abruptly, she reaches over the table and grabs my hands from the armrests. She places them on the table. I look up at her in shock. Her usual smile creeps on her face, thoughtful. "If you're not scared then stop fidgeting." She softly murmurs. Her thumbs trace circles into my palm calmly.
I swallow hard and look away, prying my hands away from hers. "Fine," I mutter, clearly bewildered at her action.
Our drinks come then. Silence unfolds around us as we sip on our coffee, the taste exploding in my mouth once again. The drink was delicious. As I keep my eyes on her, I take a glance at my bag on the floor. I stop myself from flexing my fingers again. "Go ahead."
"Excuse me?" I ask, meeting Lina's eyes again.
She looks under the table and smiles. "Start drawing. I don't mind this silence."
Without hesitation, I snatch my bag from the floor and pull out my mint green notebook. I flip to the unfinished page of the café drawing. I start shading in the places where the shadows touch. Glancing up every once in a while, I notice that she wasn't looking out the window anymore. She was looking at me, a touch of a smile on her face. "What?" I ask, pausing.
She shrugs. "You seem so concentrated when you draw. The world could be on fire and you would still sit here in peace."
I take a moment, thinking. She looks at me as if she knows I'm going to reply, but after a few more minutes, she looks back out the window. She sighs and takes a sip from her cup. "My art is my world," I lowly mutter. My cheeks heat up as she puts her gaze back on me. I hang my head low to continue drawing, hiding my blush from her.
It was a foolish thing to say, I know. But after saying it out loud, it seemed so right. It feels good. There was never a time when I've talked about my art with an actual person. Having Lina here and watch me is almost surreal. It was like she was just a figment of my imagination. Almost like a beautiful work of art that only my mind made to keep me from being completely isolated.
Then I meet her eyes and I know. This is real. She's real. She's here, looking at me with her vivid green eyes and usual smile. Unconsciously, I flex my fingers. Uncertainty bubbles inside my chest as I reach out and slide my hand under hers. She doesn't say a word, which I'm grateful for. However, her eyes break contact with mine and she watches my hand graze hers. Her eyebrows scrunch up. Why so? I'm not sure. I can't fully read her this time for I'm caught up in her appearance. Her beauty. Her simplicity.
With shaky movements, I gently play with her fingers. A surge of electricity rolls within me at the touch. I hear booming thunder roar outside the window, but the sound soon fades to the background. Not even a single hum enters my ears. Just her. Everything about her.
Like a bullet, I finally register my actions. I pull away from her as if I've been burned. "Sorry," I mumble. She still doesn't say a word, and I refuse to look at her this time. I keep my hands on my lap under the table, flexing my fingers once again. Whether it was because of her appearance or her meaning, this woman has me attached. I was never a people person, but I grew fond of her. I shouldn't be. I know I need to stay in that protective shell that I've made for myself, but the pull towards this woman is intense.
She might just become one of my most precious work of art.
