Hi y'all!
Massive thank you to GuardianDragon98, Pamitydesu01, Tolkam, Captain (claps you on the back to ease your choking I too definitely agree with happily-ever-after Sonadow, will see what I can do...), , MadameMirage77 (I think Sonic's family might like him on a personal level and be starstruck by him...and happy writing to you!), Sunny (wow, you really mean business there puttheknifedownplease O_O;...!), and thekyuubivixen for your gracious reviews!
This is a shorter chapter, so I felt I could post it faster. Hope you enjoy. ^_^
Chapter 7: Inching Along
He tried to eat, though his body barely cooperated.
Like clockwork he pushed at it anyway – piercing leftover pasta with his fork, raising it to his mouth, chewing, swallowing.
Food was in abundance at Shadow's house. The team and Rouge showered him with such generosity during his recovery, he had days' worth of food in his refrigerator and freezer, not to mention a pantry full of snacks mailed in by well-wishing fans. It didn't hurt that the pasta came from one of Rouge's favorite restaurants downtown, and Rouge had fantastic restaurant taste.
But as nice as the pasta still was, he didn't enjoy it. The texture was off. The taste was bland. It just wasn't the same.
He chewed mechanically, if only to give himself something to do.
Talking was not a thing he wished to do yet, though he accepted it was inevitable with Rouge. The bat gave him his space, sitting in silence across the table whilst texting Knuckles, most likely. She'd known the hedgehog long enough to understand that, with Shadow, biding time was key.
Telling Rouge wasn't the worst that could happen, really. He'd hit a dead end as far as handling his feelings for Sonic. Those feelings had turned unpleasant over the mere possibility that Shadow would no longer get to see Sonic every day. Never had he found himself in an emotional groundswell quite like this. Yes, crashing out of the Mobius Cup was bad, as was losing races. He'd also suffered plenty of growing pains with Rouge, close as they were and protective as his best friend could be. But this…
Because he'd given Sonic his heart, and Sonic may well be leaving, he felt appallingly out of control in ways he could not have imagined.
He needed help.
"Heh," Rouge chuckled, still looking down at her phone, "Knux just finished half our leftover pasta. 'Rest is in the fridge babe,' he tells me."
"He knows you so well," said Shadow idly, eating the last of his dinner.
"Knows I'd have words with him if he took it all," the bat grinned, standing to pick up the hedgehog's dish and utensils. She'd polished off her own plate a few minutes ago, Shadow having insisted she share some of his leftovers, so his dish joined hers in the sink.
Then she turned toward him, leaning back against the counter with ankles crossed, arms stretched out on either side and propping her up. "What I want to know is, are you ready to talk?"
Shadow sighed, long and heavy. "Not sure where to begin."
"Does it have to do with Sonic?" asked a pragmatic Rouge.
Begrudgingly the hedgehog nodded. "He said he might not stay on the team next season."
Both eyebrows raising, Rouge cocked her head. "Really? Wouldn't have figured that. He's practically the life of the party at training."
"I didn't see it coming either," mumbled Shadow, shaking his head.
"Hmm…did he say why?"
Swallowing at the memory of Sonic's words and their impact, he said with eyes lowered, "Just that he's thinking through career options. Not sure if he wants to keep skiing."
The bat sighed. "Fair enough. This is a great time to assess where he wants to go." She turned a gentle yet scrutinizing gaze toward Shadow. "But why is that upsetting you?"
Oh, Chaos.
Shadow closed his eyes, the words Because I love Sonic stuck in his throat. His heart's true desire was to personally tell the blue hedgehog I love you. But to speak those words, even to a third party, meant drilling through walls he'd built around himself – a scarier prospect than he'd anticipated.
That work had already begun though, hadn't it?
If not, Sonic leaving wouldn't grieve him as much as it did. He had left his mark, indelible as a tattoo Shadow was not keen to blot out, if he even could.
Rouge and Knuckles began somewhere, didn't they?
He thought back to the first days of their relationship and, in hindsight, came to wonder about Knuckles' point of view. So he looked up and answered Rouge with a question of his own. "How long did it take for Knuckles to ask you out?"
The bat arched a fine brow, teal eyes inquisitive; she went along with the question, knowing Shadow was going somewhere. "A few weeks. He was nervous." A fond smile found its way to her face as she crossed her arms and eased into a slouch. "Very nervous, actually, which was why I didn't know for so long. I really could've spoken up much sooner. But you know all the guys I'd been with before. I pursued them, more often than not. I decided not to do that with Knux…guess I was at a point where I wanted something serious, so I waited for him to come to me. If he stepped up, then I knew for sure he wanted it too."
Shadow nodded, both privy to Rouge's dating history and newly interested in her experience with the echidna. There were a number of questions he'd never thought to ask before, he realized. "How did you know you loved Knuckles? I mean, what made you want to be with him?"
Rouge grinned. "What can I pinpoint?" Tapping her chin with two fingers, she continued, "Remember when I went downtown to get things for that one Ski Jumpers' Association meeting? What a crazy week that was…I must've been out of my mind with all that organizing, because somehow I locked myself outside my car. My keys, wallet, everything was in the passenger seat, taunting me." She threw her hands up in annoyance, fresh as the moment it happened. "Never thought I'd regret not learning how to lockpick, but there it was. I had to run inside the store and ask to use their phone, but in my panic the only number I could remember offhand was yours. You weren't free to help-"
"Hadn't come back from a race yet," confirmed Shadow.
"-so I asked you to call Knuckles. He was in town because you guys hadn't hired him yet. He came without question." Her smile revealed how moved she was, even years later. "He put up with my hysterics and was such a gentleman. That was just one instance of him making me feel seen. Once I understood that, I fell for him." She chuckled. "Good thing he knew how to lockpick. I had him teach me later on."
The hedgehog half-smiled at Rouge, a woman who came of age in a rough neighborhood and vowed to do better for herself. She had fought her whole life for her own good, then for Shadow's, and finally for Knuckles'. Nevertheless, for all that toughness, her heart had soft spots that she could admit to. The biggest belonged to Knuckles, and she loved to talk about him.
He related now. Every time he thought of Sonic (such as right this moment), his heart felt…fuzzy. Like an Earth kitten. His smile grew.
Rouge aimed another quizzical look at her best friend. "So what do Knuckles and I have to do with-"
She interrupted herself, and her jaw slackened. Shadow held his gaze and waited.
"Oh, hon," she breathed in a low voice, standing up straight as she put two and two together. "Shadow."
"I want to know how Knuckles asked you out," said the hedgehog, keeping his quiet tone even, "because I want to do that for Sonic."
A grin of pure delight spread across Rouge's face. "Hon," she said, lowering herself into a chair across from Shadow, "all this time I've known you, I've never seen you fall for anyone. I knew you guys were close but…how has he won you over?" Her eyes shone with girlish excitement. "Was it the gloves?"
Now Shadow could not contain neither his own grin, nor the outpour of heartfelt tenderness. "Partly. Because they showed me that, as you said…he saw me. For a long time I figured I was just his skiing hero, but over and over he proves he sees me. Cares about who I am no matter how low I get, does everything he can to help me climb back up. And he's so alive." His eyes momentarily closed as he released a blissful sigh. "He could be a hero in his own right one day. In fact, I know he will."
He's also the cutest, most attractive, most beautiful creature I've ever met. Though he deemed that overly gushy even for confiding to Rouge (who already regarded him with the most touched expression he'd ever seen her aim his way), it made his heart glow all the same.
However, his mind returned to the reality of what had upset him earlier. "I have to ask him out before the season ends," he murmured. "Who knows where he'll go after..."
"He didn't say he's set on leaving, did he?" The bat placed a supportive hand on Shadow's shoulder.
Casting his gaze down at his hands, he shook his head. "I don't understand why he would even think about it. Is it me…?"
"Now hon," Rouge's hand gripped Shadow a fraction tighter and her voice turned kind, "don't talk like that."
"He told me this season has been tougher in more ways than he expected," Shadow lamented.
"Did he get more specific about that?"
"No."
"Then it doesn't matter. We don't know what's going through his mind beyond what he said. The only way you will know is by talking to him." She leaned in and added, "Your best chance might come at the potluck."
He knew that. The team liked to mark the season's final two weeks with a good-luck sendoff, helped along with a generous meal as always. This year it was to be held at Shadow's home; everyone would come to him, and he didn't have to cook.
Of course, should Sonic not return next season, he was open to whipping up a tried-and-true dish, one that would help the young man remember him on good terms…
"All Knuckles did," said Rouge, "was take me aside one day after we'd run some errands, sit us down for drinks, and tell me. He admitted he wasn't sure how I'd take it…I guess he thought I wouldn't see him in that light. But the biggest reason he spoke up was he had to know how I'd respond. The 'what-ifs' flying around in his head were killing him." She shrugged. "Maybe you two can talk after everyone leaves?"
A good plan, Shadow acknowledged to himself, as he nodded at Rouge. She had shown him a way forward. He felt calmer despite his stomach tied in knots at the notion of confessing to Sonic. "Thanks, Rouge," he sighed. "It's good to have an idea of what to do."
"It is," smiled Rouge. "I mean…not saying our situations are identical, but I liked Knuckles for weeks before he asked me out. Who's to say you've no chance with Sonic?" She couldn't help a warm giggle. "He's so attached to you, too. Did you know he called me the day you crashed? He was so out of sorts, I thought he'd burst into tears."
The hedgehog's brow knit. Sonic never mentioned that. On one hand it made Shadow's heart flutter; on the other, he felt responsible for troubling his teammate so.
Yet…the ensuing weeks were among the sweetest for Shadow because, more than anyone apart from Rouge, Sonic refused to let him go it alone. He surrendered family and free time, in between his own races and training, to be at his side when possible. And he balanced everything like it was no hardship at all, bringing music and melody alongside him.
The young hedgehog showed himself strong in every way that counted. Right when Shadow thought he couldn't love him more…
He closed his eyes, mind made up.
"I'll tell him first how well he's doing as a skier, try to bring up possibilities for next season." Taking a deep, resolute breath, he looked his best friend in the eye. "I'll ask him out before the night is over."
"That," said Rouge, grinning in proud approval, "is the Shadow I know. Go get him."
...There might be a story in why Rouge can't lockpick and Knuckles can. XD
