Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters presented here and am not making any profit off of this whatsoever.
Story Title: This Time, It's Me
Chapter Title: Adventures of Life
Story Word Count: 26,605
Chapter Word Count: 3,831
Rated: PG-13
Romance: Honda x Anzu
Notes: This takes place a few months after the Ceremonial Duel, in the closing weeks of their third year of high school. Comments and criticism gratefully accepted.
Summary: As Valentine's Day draws near, Anzu wavers between just sticking to her obligations, or stepping away to follow the call of her heart.
Once the words were said, Anzu was almost surprised by how things eased inside of her. She did like Honda. She couldn't quite get her mind around calling him Hiroto just yet, but she supposed that would probably come in time, once he said she could do so, at least. The habits of years were a little hard to break. The only one of her friends she was used to calling by his given name was sitting right across from her, after all.
Yuugi smiled brilliantly at her. "Now all you've got to do is tell him!"
That made sense, and she brought up a smile carefully. It made sense, but that wasn't going to be easy to do, especially not after everything that had happened earlier. "I know." She glanced briefly at the phone, and frowned to herself. No, calling him up wouldn't do. Just like this conversation with Yuugi, she wanted to tell Honda this in person. There was no way to tell how he'd react. At least she didn't have to keep wondering what it was that was bothering him. She knew.
Yuugi leaned back and sipped at his chocolate before he looked at her for a quiet minute or so. "I've kind of missed talking to you," he said at last.
"I've missed the same thing," she told him, going a trifle pink. "It's just been...so much going on." The time had just slipped away from them both, she surmised. Yuugi nodded slightly.
"I hope once all of this is done with, we can try to hang out a little more, for a while, anyway," he suggested, waving a hand about. She knew, in that way that best friends know things, that he meant school and everything else that went along with it with that gesture. She nodded in her own turn.
"I think we can. I hope so, anyway." The thought of the Julliard letter crossed her mind again, but she pushed it away. She'd read it only once, and hadn't wanted to touch it since then. She wasn't going to let it get her down. She hadn't been letting it get her down. But maybe it was time she did say something about it. Who better to talk to than Yuugi, either?
She felt a light brush of fingers across her hand, and looked over to see him touching the back of her hand gently. "Something's on your mind, Anzu," he said, his eyes gleaming in that knowing way. Sometimes it made him look just a little like Atemu like that. It was almost scary, even with how well she knew him. Now he knows when I want to say something and don't. The contrast to how he was now and how he'd been even a year or two ago was startling. "Please tell me."
The answer came spilling out of her without another moment of thought. Yuugi had that effect on her sometimes. He could get into the most secret parts of her with barely an effort. "I applied to Julliard a few months ago. Almost right after we got back from Egypt, actually. I..." She clenched her fingers around the hot cup, ignoring the faint burning. It wasn't really enough to hurt anyway, not as she got used to it, but it gave her something else to think about other than what she was talking about.
Somewhere deep inside of herself, she was grateful that Yuugi didn't jump to any conclusions about what their answer had been. She said it slowly and carefully. "I didn't get in." For the first time, she said the words. She had never said them to her parents; she'd only shown them the letter, and they'd done their best to reassure her. Saying them out loud would have made things too real, too horrible, and they were like that enough just with the letter itself.
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Yuugi asked quietly. There wasn't a thread of anger or sadness or anything in his voice, just honest curiosity. She didn't know for certain if she wanted to hug him for that or smack him. Instead, she answered the question.
"There were a lot of reasons. You had other things to worry about just then," she said. It had been so close still to what had happened, and she couldn't forget how deeply Yuugi had been affected by Atemu's departure. Telling him then just wouldn't have been right. Telling anyone wouldn't have been. "Everyone else...they did too..." Part of why she'd applied then had been because of her own feelings over the Pharaoh's absence as well. That, she didn't really feel like saying just yet, at least not out loud. But she knew the reasons that had been whispered within her own heart.
I wanted to do what I'd told him to do. What he did. Face my choices, my destiny head on and grab them, and even if I failed, to know it wasn't because I didn't try.
The problem was, she hadn't really wanted to fail. She'd wanted to get that letter back and be told that she would be starting with them in a few months' time. Seeing that rejection staring her in the face had shattered something inside of her. She had no idea of what it was, only that the thought of trying again had been something haunting her for months. She hadn't ever cried herself to sleep about it, but the ache had taken months to ease so she didn't want to anymore. If she found any dampness on her pillow in the morning, she told herself it was just sweat. The season and the temperature didn't matter. Convincing herself did.
"It's all right, Anzu," Yuugi told her simply, complete faith filling his tone. Just hearing how much he believed in her made her believe in herself a little more. "You can try again."
"I know." She stared down at the cup still, then drank a little more. It was almost gone, and she wondered if she wanted another cup, to shore her up against the walk home in the cold. She didn't want to look and see what the weather was like right now. It might scare her from going home, at least for now. "I want to. I know I will, someday, and I'm going to keep on working and saving until I either get what I want, or find something else I want that I can get. I'm not going to quit!" Fierceness edged her tones as she jerked her head up to look him in the eyes for a moment before she turned away again. "I just don't know why I feel so bad about failing now."
Yuugi frowned carefully as he thought the matter over. "I don't know either. But what matters is not quitting about it." He looked at her calmly. "I think you might want to tell Honda about it. Maybe he'll know something. Or at least you'll have someone else to talk to about it."
She tapped her cup on the table a few times. "Maybe." It might give some kind of starting point for a talk with him anyway. She finished off the last of the hot chocolate, and caught sight of the clock. "Oh, damn it!" She swore fiercely. She hadn't realized just how late it was getting. At least this was Friday, which meant she could delay her homework for a little while. She wanted to get some rest, first and foremost. "I need to get home! It's getting late, and it was already cold out there, and it could start snowing!"
Yuugi stood up and came over to her side of the table. "I can walk you home if you want."
Anzu opened her mouth, not quite certain of what to say at first, then heard herself saying something anyway. "All right. Thanks!"
Well, it would be more interesting to have someone to talk to. She already knew that from her walks home with Honda. It had also been too long since she and Yuugi had really went anywhere together. While Yuugi went to tell his grandfather where he was going, and to get his jacket, she tugged her own back on and zipped it up as tightly as she could. I'll be so glad when spring gets here.
Despite the chill outside she knew they were going back into, Anzu could feel a strange new warmth rising up inside of her. It was made of equal parts relief at having told Yuugi about the letter and anticipation at having finally realized she did like Honda a little more than everyone else and in a very different kind of way from everyone else at that. It might all be in her mind, but it didn't matter. After all, emotions were in the mind, and the heart, so it was all the same thing in the end anyway.
"Are you ready?" Yuugi popped back in, wrapped up warmly, and headed for the door as she nodded. Together, they headed out into the cold streets.
Those turned out to be very cold and snowy streets, for thick white flakes had begun to fall while they'd been talking to one another. Anzu shivered as they went farther and farther. "I knew this was coming," she muttered. "And it would come on Friday night, too." Domino High had begun to phase out the half-day of school on Saturdays, which meant they wouldn't even be getting out of classes for this kind of weather. Of course they also wouldn't have classes to start with, so it was much the same regardless. But it was more fun to get out of them than to not have them.
Yuugi shivered some and huddled more into his jacket. "Well, at least we've got the weekend to enjoy it," he reminded her, looking more on the bright side of things as he always tended to do. "It would be horrible if we had school anyway and this was happening."
"Yeah, you're right." She nodded as she carefully placed her feet, not wanting to slip and fall on the ice. "Are you going to be all right walking home by yourself?" Maybe she should've told him not to bother, that she could manage this on her own. The last thing she wanted to do was get him hurt because she was bothered by a little snow and cold.
He flashed her his usual bright smile. "I'll be fine. It's not that bad, really. The buses are still going, too, so if I have to I can just get one of those. There's a stop not all that far from your place, right?"
Anzu nodded slightly; it would take him a little out of his way to get to the bus station from her house, but it would get him back home safely. She still didn't like it, though. She knew the public transporation system was safe, but that wasn't part of her objection. I should've asked if he'd stay the night. I still could. They were already a decent distance from the Game Shop, though, and Yuugi wouldn't have anything to wear, tonight or tomorrow. She very much doubted that he would accept anything that she had to offer from her own closets. His tastes ran a little more towards leather, whereas she preferred clothes that were somewhat more normal. Not to mention that she didn't really have any pants that he could wear. The few she did have were just too big for him. Well, next time I'll think about it more, she told herself sternly.
As they made their way, a familiar noise sounded, and Anzu looked around a little. She'd hoped that she wouldn't have to put up with this on the way back, but apparently she was wrong. "Yuugi, do you hear that motorcycle or am I imagining things?"
He lifted his head a little and checked things out as well. "Yeah. It's probably just someone going home late." She wasn't as ready to dismiss it as he was, though, not after what had happened earlier. It was just too much of a coincidence for her tastes.
"Yeah...but I heard one on the way over to your place, too." She hadn't walked between the two houses enough at night to know how many cycles might possibly pass between them then. But if Yuugi thought there was nothing unusual about it...she didn't want to be paranoid, not really...
"I don't usually hear too many of them this time of night," he said thoughtfully. "But I'm not usually listening, either." He looked around as far as he could in every direction and shook his head. "I can't see it, though. Whoever it is, they're probably a couple of streets over."
Anzu nodded; it really couldn't be that much to worry about. If she didn't want to be paranoid, then she wasn't going to be paranoid, and that was it. Something about the sound, how it didn't seem to be going all that fast, just struck at something inside of her, no matter what she told herself, though. "Someone could've gotten it for a present and just be trying it out?" she suggested. After all, it made sense to go somewhat slow in weather like this. She wanted to be reasonable. There had to be a line between paranoia and simple caution. It wouldn't be wrong to keep an eye out. If there was a cyclist in the area, if they moved too quickly or weren't a very good driver yet, then they could get into an accident. At this time of night, and in these conditions, that could be fatal.
"Probably." Yuugi nodded and carefully moved around a patch of ice. She avoided the same one, and looked to see just where they were. It wasn't all that far from her place now. Perhaps once they got in sight of it, she'd tell him he could go on back, and not have to walk the whole way. The less time either of them were out in this weather, the better. He might even agree with her. Given that this was Yuugi, almost anything was possible.
Neither of them said all that much as they turned the last corner before her home. Yuugi paused when she did, and looked up at her. "Anzu?" She expected that he was expecting her to say he could go on back now, and didn't disappoint him.
"Yuugi, I can see my place from here. You should get back home and get inside where it's warm. You don't have to come all the way." She said it almost the same way that she had been thinking it, and really hoped the worst either of them would have to face would be slipping on some ice before they got to their respective homes. She would have to have him call once he got there, so she'd be certain he'd made it safe and sound. She worried about him no matter what, but it was better not to have a reason to.
He looked at her, then at her house, and back at her, a soft smile on his lips. "That's all right, Anzu. I don't mind going all the way. I'd rather be sure you were there safely anyway."
She hesitated for a moment or two, then nodded reluctantly. There wasn't really any way that she could make him go back by force anyway, and she didn't feel up to trying to argue about it. Having company all the way wasn't that bad of an idea, either. She'd read somewhere about a lot of accidents taking place in or near one's home after all. She couldn't think of much that Yuugi could really do to help if something did happen, beyond getting help, but if that was all that was necessary, then so be it. "Then let's go."
They'd barely taken ten more steps before Anzu regretted not having made some kind of arrangement for Yuugi's safe return home. I should've thought about it! The snow thickened with every moment that passed, with ice building up on the sidewalks quickly. It was the next thing to impossible to see more than a very short distance ahead of them at any given moment, and before they made it up to her home, even that distance had been reduced to almost nothing. She was glad they had been so close before it got like this. If they'd been much farther off, she would't have been certain they could have made it back in one piece.
"I'm not going to let you back out in that!" Anzu declared as they stood before her door, stamping their feet from the snow and ice. "My mom would kill me, my dad would kill me, your grandpa would kill me..." She didn't even want to think what Atemu would do if she did that. She'd be lucky to be killed, no matter how far he had to travel from the afterlife to do it. She had no doubts that he would or could, too.
Yuugi looked out at it, frowning. "I think you're right. I should probably call my grandpa and let him know what's going on."
"Right." She motioned him towards the phone while she went to talk to her parents. They wouldn't mind Yuugi staying the night. At least she hoped they wouldn't. "Mom? Dad? I've got a really big favor to ask you."
Half an hour later, with permission given and the appropriate phone calls made, Yuugi and Anzu were comfortably ensconced in her room. "Mom'll have some pajamas ready for you shortly," Anzu said. "I think she's looking forward to looking through some of my dad's old things." Her father wasn't quite as short as Yuugi was, but they would manage something, she was sure of it.
Yuugi nodded some; Mrs. Mazaki had been searching for something for him for almost fifteen minutes now. "That's very nice of her."
Anzu nodded in her own turn, her gaze flickering around the room. She hadn't ever had that many people over there, and it was a very odd experience to have someone there now, even with that someone being Yuugi. So, what would I be feeling if it were Honda here? The question wandered around in her mind without any kind of answer for a few moments before settling into a back nook to return when she wasn't looking. Thoughts of Honda were like that, springing on one like some kind of odd ninja.
"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Yuugi asked, drawing her attention back to him instead of her own thoughts. She thought for a moment, then nodded.
"At least I think I do. I don't think she'll close because of the weather," she replied, glancing over at the phone. "I'll call her in the morning when she opens up and find out." She kind of hoped she would. It would give her a better chance of seeing Honda. I'll have to tell him when I get a day off. Or when the job's done.
The thought of not going to work anymore was attractive to a point, but if it meant giving up walking with Honda every work evening, she wasn't certain if she wanted to bother. There are other things we could do together, though. She and Ms. Tanaka hadn't really discussed her position past Valentine's Day, and she wanted to talk about that as soon as she could. It hadn't really been very much implied that it was a temporary job, but Ms. Tanaka had indicated she wanted the extra help for the Valentine season, such as it was.
"It's kind of weird to think in a couple of months we won't even be in high school anymore," Yuugi murmured. "It's like the last three years just vanished."
"Yeah. Almost feels like just yesterday we were starting high school and you hadn't even finished the Puzzle yet." Anzu froze almost as she heard the words. Of all the things they hadn't talked about, this was one she'd wanted to be more careful about bringing up.
Yuugi didn't seem to be all that bothered by it, however. He just smiled. "I know." His gaze flickered out of the window briefly, then back to her. "I miss him. I think I always will."
"So do I," Anzu replied almost as quietly as he had. Atemu had been a part of their lives for such a short time, really, but that time had been intense. "Do you think he's...happy?"
"I know he is," Yuugi said firmly, confidence shining from his eyes. "He's where he belongs. He's done what he was born to do." His eyes met hers only for a few moments, then he looked away again. Anzu had a feeling she knew what was going through his mind, but said nothing about it. Maybes and might-have-beens in this situation could only hurt if they thought about it long enough. "And I'll see him again someday. I'm sure of it."
Anzu nodded, not sure if Yuugi was right or not, but she hoped that he was. Before she could say anything else, however, a yawn caught her firmly and she covered her mouth, flushing slightly. "I think I need to get to bed, Yuugi. It's been a very long day." She knew she hadn't talked to him about how he felt about her and Honda's relationship, but she knew she would, when the time was right. The fact he was supporting it had to mean something good.
"You're right." Yuugi nodded and stood up. "I'll go see if your mother's found anything. See you in the morning."
He hurried on out of the room, closing the door behind himself quietly. Anzu stayed where she was for a few minutes, trying to get herself together enough to actually get up and get ready for bed. When she finally stood, she caught sight of a particular photo beside her bed. It wasn't all of her friends, but it did show herself, Honda, Jounouchi, Bakura, and Yuugi. It had been taken shortly after Bakura had arrived in Domino City and they'd all had that first experience with the Spirit of the Millennium Ring. She picked up the picture and looked at it for a few moments. The diorama Bakura had made to symbolize all of their adventures in Monster World was visible on a shelf behind them. That was when we all really met the other Yuugi face to face. If you could call it that.
The adventures they were facing now weren't anything like those. They were the adventures of life, not magic. But she was all right with that. She looked at where Honda stood next to her in the picture, with Jounouchi on his other side, and Yuugi on hers. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow, she reminded herself. We're going to work this out.
To Be Continued
