NCIS: Post-Traumatic

Author: AnonymousNCISFan
Rating: T (PG-13)

Summary: Gibbs & Abby have been avoiding each other since his return from Paraguay…here's one possible explanation.

Pairing: Gibbs/Abby friendship

Spoilers: Up to & including Season 15

Warnings: Angst, References to PTSD

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am making no money off this – I appreciate the creative minds at NCIS and the brilliant actors who bring these beloved characters to life.

Chapter 7: Missing Moments

(Author's note: This chapter is a bit of a change of pace, and was inspired by something I've always wanted to see on the show in one way or another…heavy metaphors ahead).

"I don't know, Leon…some of those moments you don't get back."

~Gibbs to Vance, "Family Ties"

The sun cast a blurry glare as Gibbs sat in his boat on the water, fishing rod in hand. Despite the chill in the weather, he felt refreshed being outdoors, away from the horrors of the job. As he leaned forward to re-bait the hook, something caught the corner of his eye. A splashing sound.

"Help! Help me!"

Recognizing the voice immediately, he rowed with determination. But the current seemed to be against him. Everything went in slow motion as he grew closer to the disturbance.

"Please help!"

The water garbled her cries as she sunk under yet again. She was drowning and he couldn't get to her.

"Kelly!" he cried, stretching out his hand. "Kelly, baby, take my hand!"

"Can't reach," the little girl cried. "Help me, daddy!"

"I'm comin'!" he replied, diving in the water after her. He dove deep, searching for her, finding her small form and bringing her up for air. The boat had drifted, and the land wasn't far, so he made his way to the shore, grasping her with one arm, whispering pleas for her to stay with him in her ear.

"C'mon, Kel," he said, breathing hard as he gently placed her on the sand and began CPR. "C'mon breath!"

But it was no use. She wasn't responding. His attempts became desperate, tears piercing his eyes. He couldn't lose her. Not again.

"Gibbs," another familiar voice called. Looking up, he saw Abby moving over them, emotion filling her eyes but her demeanor oddly calm. Grasping his arm, she implored him, "Gibbs, Gibbs, let me help you."

He went back to performing CPR, shaking his head, refusing her help.

"Please, Gibbs, let me help you. I can bring her back, but you need to trust me."

Gibbs stopped, sighing heavily, out of breath, as he made room for Abby to assist. He was moved by the way she gently caressed Kelly's face, leaned over to whisper in her ear before turning to him.

"She's sinking in the sand. Help me move her onto that board," Abby said, pointing to a large plank of wood about the size of a small table. They placed her on the flat surface as Abby checked her breathing.

"Give her rescue breaths on my count," she ordered, beginning CPR herself. She was more calm, had a better technique, and her eyes were determined. Gibbs felt a wave of calm and reassurance sweep over him. Abby knew what she was doing; she rescued him from his torn state, centered him to the task.

Working together, they began again, and on the second repetition were rewarded. Kelly's eyes jutted open as she coughed up the water that had filled her lungs. Gibbs let out a cry of relief, a sob tearing from his throat as he stroked her face. Abby gently turned the young girl on her side, rubbing her back, whispering encouragements.

"That's it, take a breath, you're doing great. Nice and easy," Abby said.

"Atta girl," Gibbs rasped, leaning down to kiss his daughters forehead. She looked up at him, confused and scared, jumping into his arms.

"Daddy!" she cried. "Don't leave me."

"Never," he whispered, hugging her close, feeling her heartbeat for the first time in ages. Looking up, he saw tears falling down Abby's cheeks as she smiled at them. He nodded to her, wrapping an arm around Abby and bringing her into the embrace. He felt a warmth in his chest, soothing the seemingly endless ache that had been tormenting him. But he knew it couldn't last.

"Abby!" Kelly smiled as she jumped into the goth scientist's arms, hugging her tightly. "Thank you for helping my daddy."

"She helped you too, Kel," he said with a smirk, his heart swelling at the scene, though part of him knew it could never be real.

Smiling, Kelly got up suddenly. "Tag, you're it!" she yelled, tapping Abby on the shoulder.

"Oh, I'm gonna get you!" Abby laughed as she quickly took off her boots and ran after her. Catching up quickly, she scooped the young girl up in her arms, swinging her around. Gibbs noticed Abby pulling something from her pocket and showing it to his daughter – a magnifying glass. She pointed to a shell that Kelly picked up and they began examining it. Though he couldn't hear the conversation, he could imagine her telling Kelly all the details and origins of the tiny object. Kelly's face lit up with wonder as Abby spoke, and in that moment Gibbs suddenly noticed what a good mother Abby would be.

"Jethro," a soft voice called to him, a smooth hand resting on his shoulder. Looking up, Gibbs smiled as he saw Shannon sitting beside him. She cupped his face, kissing him deeply.

"Hey," he rasped, gasping her hand.

"She's really something," Shannon remarked, smiling.

"Who, Abby? Yea…yea she is," he replied with a grin as they both watched Kelly and Abby continue to look for objects in the sand.

"Kelly always said she wanted a big sister. She's gonna love having her here," Shannon said matter-of-factly.

"Think she already does," Gibbs smiled, looking back only to see Shannon's features darken, eyes growing serious. Gibbs frowned, a tension rising within him.

"Jethro," Shannon said gently, her eyes shining sadly, "a storm's coming." Gibbs looked up to see the sky open suddenly, rain beginning to pour down. Kelly and Abby giggled and ran up to the silver trailer, huddling together under the overhang, sitting on the steps. Shannon didn't move, and neither did Gibbs as he searched her eyes for understanding.

"What storm?" Gibbs swallowed, looking vulnerable, a hint of fear creeping in.

"No matter what anyone says, no matter what you think, she is not safe, Gibbs."

"Who? Kelly? Abby? What's goin' on?"

"Keep her safe," Shannon begged, cupping his face, "for Abby's sake…and your own."

"Safe from what?! From who?!" Gibbs asked, panic rising in his voice.

"I love you," she rasped, kissing him softly before pulling away and heading toward Abby and Kelly.

"Wait!" Gibbs cried. He wanted to get up but felt paralyzed. He watched as Abby greeted Shannon with a huge hug before the three of them went inside the trailer to get out of the rain. Finally able to stand, Gibbs began to make his way toward them when a bolt of lightening suddenly crashed in front of him.

"Abby!"

Lightning flashed through the bedroom window as Gibbs sat up in bed, covered in sweat, trying to catch his breath. A part of him had known it was all a dream from the start, but he couldn't help but be moved, and yet deeply disturbed, by it.

Rubbing his face, Gibbs looked at the clock. 2AM.

"Jesus," he muttered, trying to hang onto the memory of his dream, of what had shaken him. He remembered seeing Kelly and Abby together on the shore, examining sea shells. And Shannon…something about a storm…Grabbing his phone, he pressed the speed dial.

"Gibbs? Everything OK? Gibbs?"

He breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of Abby's voice coming from the other end of the call.

"Hey, Abbs, just checkin' in."

"At 2AM? Now I know how you felt every time I called you about my nightmares – oh no, Gibbs, did you have a nightmare? Are you feeling OK?"

"Fine, Abbs," he replied, trying to reassure her. "Just didn't see you today…wanted to make sure you got home alright."

"Again, at 2AM? Not buyin' it, bossman. What's goin' on?"

Gibbs sighed; he should've known she'd see right through him. "You were right; bad dream."

"Paraguay?" she asked hesitantly. He'd never confided in her about that experience, and she wasn't sure she could handle hearing it over the phone right now, not when she wanted to wrap her arms around him, comfort him, find a way to make it all OK.

"No, not that…not really sure what it was."

"Maybe your gut was trying to tell you something?"

"Could be," he replied hesitantly. He'd called to hear her voice, to make sure she was safe, but he didn't want to scare her.

"What about the dream? Do you remember anything?"

"Kelly…you were with Kelly," he rasped.

"Oh," Abby responded quietly, treading lightly. She knew this was a sensitive subject and didn't want to push him.

"And," Gibbs offered, "You were, um…examining sea shells together."

"Doesn't sound so bad," Abby replied, feeling herself get choked up at the image. She'd often wondered what Kelly had been like - her curiosities, her favorite games, best subjects in school. One night, when she felt particularly broken by Gibbs' disappearance, Abby searched through some of his old photos. Images of Gibbs and Shannon, of he and Kelly fishing, riding horses, painting a picture. She couldn't imagine Gibbs' devastation after losing them – it's why she'd always tolerated his impatience and at times grumpy nature. Back then, her heart ached from missing him, angry at her own selfishness for wanting him back – he obviously belonged with his family. Yet now, having him back, her heart ached for Gibbs in a different way, for what he'd lost. She'd always hoped, in some small way, that she could bring Kelly back to him if she loved him enough.

"There was somethin' else," Gibbs continued, dragging Abby from her thoughts. "A storm. Bad one."

"Well…storms pass," she said, trying to reassure him.

"Just … just watch your six, Abbs, OK?"

"Always do. Gibbs, do you think-"

"Sorry for botherin' you so late," he interjected, wanting to leave the conversation at that, for now. "Get some sleep."

"You too," she replied, her voice filled with concern.

"I'm fine Abbs, honest. See you tomorrow."

"OK," she said hesitantly, hearing the phone click as he hung up.

Gibbs sighed. He could almost see her shaking her head in confusion as she went back to bed. The image hit him hard in the moment, and he cursed. "Why the hell do you sleep in a coffin, Abby," he rasped out loud, trying to get the thought out of his mind as he pushed back against the pillows. "Some of those moments you don't get back," he whispered sadly into the darkness, repeating what he had told Leon earlier in the day.

Across town, the rain came down hard on the empty batting cages of the local ball field – well, mostly empty. Through the downpour, Gabriel Hicks continued to practice, making contact on each delivery. The crack of the bat pierced the night air as the sound of thunder crackled, lightning revealing the smirk on Hicks' face. The wheels were now in motion.

TO BE CONTINUED…