Olivia woke up to the feel of a nice breeze on her bare back with nothing but cotton sheets covering her lower half. She could feel the warmth of the morning sun on her and couldn't believe how well she slept. It had been a long time since she got a great night sleep and after last night, she completely understood why. With a big smile on her face, she rolled over to see Elliot only to find his side of the bed empty. She sat up and covered herself with the sheets only to smell bacon and coffee. She stood up, grabbed one of Elliot's buttoned up shirts and walked in to the kitchen with a big smile on her face.
There he was cooking breakfast and listening to more music. At least he wasn't dancing this time. She slowly walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Elliot stopped what he was doing, put the spatula down and turned around so he could look at her. He smiled, gave her a soft but longing kiss and brushed her hair back.
Elliot looked at her longingly and asked, "Did you sleep okay?"
"I did actually. I haven't slept that long in a really long time but why didn't you wake me?"
He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and smiled, "I wanted you to rest. Besides, I have a lot of chores today and I wanted to at least start the day with a good breakfast."
Olivia smiled and pulled away in order to grab a coffee cup. "Well it smells amazing."
As she poured herself a cup of coffee, Elliot noticed what she was covered up in and laughed, "Are you wearing my shirt?"
She smiled and took a sip of her coffee. "It was the first thing I found. I wasn't going to walk around your place naked and I didn't see my clothes."
He turned back around to take care of the bacon. "Yeah, sorry about that. I started a load and I just threw yours in with mine. As far as walking around the place naked, I am more then happy with that."
She laughed and shook her head. "I'm sure you are. What chores do you have planned?"
He started setting up the plates together with the scrambled eggs, toast and bacon he cooked while trying to think of the right words. "I actually wanted to take a couple of blankets down to the lake, have a picnic and maybe talk."
"That sounds great but I hardly think a picnic and a chit chat are chores, El. What's really going on?"
As he and Olivia sat at the table, He really didn't want to upset her this early but after last night, they needed to talk. He knew that if they were ever going to move forward, they needed to look back and connect all the blanks that existed in their lives. 8 years was a long time and although she did know a lot about what had been going on with him, he felt as though she was leaving a lot out of her life. The scars he saw last night was an eye opener for him and ever since he saw them, he couldn't get it out of his head.
"I just really want to know more about what's been going on in your life since I left and after the amazing night we had, I stayed up half the night thinking about…everything I've missed."
Olivia looked at her plate and nodded, "Okay but what spurred this on?"
He stared at her with nothing but love in his eyes and spoke in a soft and gentle manor so he didn't hurt her. "You don't have to tell me about the scars, Liv but I feel like I need to know."
She stopped eating and looked him in the eye, "Why is that so important to know? It happened and it's over. I really don't want to discuss it any further."
He stood up and carried his coffee cup and empty plate to the kitchen, placed them in the sink and turned around to look in her direction where she sat at the table. "Communication was always a hit and miss with us, Liv, hell with me. I'm trying to change that. I was always shitty when it came to talking about…well anything in my life and I know that you might be scared but if we are going to go anywhere in this relationship, I need to…no…rephrase that, I want to know everything. I don't want to hear something from someone else and feel…left out or feel like an idiot because I should have known. I want to make up for lost time and I'm going to do everything I can to make this, make us work. A big part of that is communication."
Olivia took a deep breath, stood up with her coffee in her hand. She walked over to where he stood in the kitchen, set her coffee down on the counter but she couldn't look him in the eye. "Elliot…I'm not afraid to tell you what I've been through or what I've been doing. I'm afraid that once you hear it, you won't…want to stay with me. I've been through a lot these past 8 years and some are good, some are amazing but…there have also been some really bad stuff." She was finally able to look him in the eye and placed her right hand on his cheek. "I need you to promise me that you'll process everything I'm telling you and not get mad, not get upset or blame anything on anyone. It happened, it's over and I've moved on. That's the only way I'm going to agree to this conversation."
He nodded and agreed to simply listen. He was going to try his best not to react but just her reaction to wanting to talk could mean that he was going to have to really control his emotions.
The morning went by smoothly. Elliot cleaned the kitchen and finished the laundry while Olivia took a shower, got dressed and tried to video chat with Noah but the reception was bad. She just decided to walk out back and call him.
"Hey baby. Sorry but the reception out here is really bad. How has school been?"
"It's been okay. When are you coming home, mommy?"
She couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain in her heart. She had expected to be home by know but with everything going on, time had passed a lot faster than expected and she still felt like she and Elliot had more to figure out.
"I don't know, baby. I'm going to try and get back by Friday." That would give her a few more days with Elliot and time to figure out what all of this was and possibly where this might be going.
That answer seemed to satisfy Noah and with a kissing sound and a few 'I love you's, she hung up and walked back inside. She noticed that Elliot was in the kitchen, getting their lunch ready.
"So how is Noah?"
"He's good. He just misses me and wants me to come home."
Elliot nodded and softly whispered, "So how long do we have?"
Olivia walked up behind him and placed her arms around his waist. "Until Friday. That way I have the weekend with Noah before going back to work. I talked to Fin and everything seems to be going good at work, so it gave me extra time. I wasn't planning on being here this long."
Elliot just nodded and kissed the top of her head. After making up their picnic lunch, the two walked hand in hand to the edge of the lake. Luckily it was a bit warmer today so beers were a must. After eating his sandwich and taking a few swigs of his beer, he looked at Olivia and smiled.
Olivia knew that she should probably speak but didn't know where to start. "So…what do you want to know?"
Elliot sighed and simply said, "I guess wherever you are comfortable with. Did you ever find someone?"
Olivia smiled and shook her head, "A few someones actually but they didn't last. Pretty typical of my relationships. I did try and make it work with Brian again but…that didn't go anywhere."
Elliot looked surprised. "Brian, huh? Why didn't it work?"
"Brian and I were always in a different place. I wanted a family and he…didn't." She wanted to tell Elliot about Tucker but wasn't sure he would understand that one. She honestly didn't fully understand it herself.
"How did you come to adopt Noah?"
Olivia told him all about the case she was working, how she found him as a baby and all the in between difficulties, challenges and every happy events. Noah seemed to be the center of their conversation and Olivia could tell that Elliot was holding back from what he really wanted to discuss.
"Elliot, I know you better than you think I do so why don't you just ask me what you want to know?"
Elliot stood up and stretched. He held out his hand to her, stood her up and pulled her in for a quick kiss. "Let's go for a walk."
She didn't argue but hated this stall tactic. They were about half way around the lake when Elliot blurted out, "How did you get those cigarette burns, Liv."
She didn't even question his ability to know they were cigarette burns. Instead, she shook her head and stopped them.
"Elliot, that's the conversation that I don't want to talk about. It's not important."
Elliot dropped her hand and looked her in the eyes, "It is important because it happened to you and you are important to me."
"Since when? Since we had sex?"
Her words were like a slap in the face. He wanted to be mad but he knew why she was getting defensive. "Stop trying to change the subject and stop pushing me away. I'm not going anywhere this time and you can use all the ammo you need to use if it helps. Just talk to me."
She shook her head and wrapped her arms around her body. "I don't want to relive this, Elliot. I've moved on and I want to keep moving forward. Why do we have to talk about this?"
"Because I want to know you again, Liv. I've missed so much and I know that it was my choice to walk away but I'm trying to be here. In order for us to move forward, we both need to open up about our past."
She knew he was right but a part of her wanted him to drop it. He pulled her toward him and embraced her until she was ready to talk. She began with the case she was involved in with Lewis, how he kidnapped her, everything he did to others and to her and what she did to him all the while Elliot stayed completely quiet. He wanted to be an outlet for her, someone she could trust and turn to again and he knew that if he reacted like he wanted to react, she'd never speak to him about anything else. She explained to him that Lewis was dead and how she wanted Elliot to be there but she knew that she could be strong and take care of it herself.
As Elliot listened to her talk, all he could think about was how badly he felt for leaving her. How selfish he was and how much he wished he could erase her pain. Olivia stopped talking when she saw tears running down his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry for everything, Liv. I should have been there."
She started to feel anger boiling up inside of her as she pushed away from him. "Elliot, none of that was your fault and you promised that you wouldn't do this. I can't continue this conversation if you can't distance yourself from the equation. We've already established that what happened is in the past. Please…stop."
He shook his head and whipped his tears away. Softly whispered that he would be good, took her hand in his and began walking around the rest of the lake in silence. He knew that they had more to discuss but he wasn't going to push her anymore…at least for a while.
