"You know, maybe it's time you talk to Hermione, mate," Harry said while keeping his eyes focused on the dishes that he was drying.
"Not now Harry," Ron replied somewhat moodily, vigorously scrubbing a plate that was already spotless.
"I know you're dealing with a lot right now, but she needs you, and you need her too," Harry kept on.
"I said not now," Ron grunted as he shoved the plate in Harry's direction to dry off.
"Then when?" Harry asked angrily, putting the plate down on the counter top roughly. He was trying to be supportive of Ron, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. He knew better than anyone what Ron was going through at the moment, he had been through this before. He had been the person trying to push those away who only wanted to help him. But he also knew that Hermione was special, and while she loved Ron, she wasn't going to wait around on him forever just for him to hurt her again.
"Harry, I'm really trying hard to keep it together, please don't push me on this right now," he answered keeping his head down, as if he couldn't bear to look Harry in the eyes.
"Listen Ron, I understand but Hermione-"
"DAMNIT HARRY! Don't talk to me about her!" he yelled as he threw the plate into the sink. He looked up at the ceiling as if trying to summon any strength he had left. Pieces of the broken plate were everywhere and Harry was looking at Ron as if he had never seen him before.
"I just want to help, Ron," Harry said quietly looking at his friend.
"Well why don't you try and get it through your thick skull that you can't," Ron replied in a voice that Harry hadn't heard since their fight in the woods that night. He turned around and headed for the door, slamming it behind him on the way out.
"Harry!" Hermione called as she tried catching up to the boy with the jet black hair who was quickly walking away from the house. "Harry, what happened?" she asked out of breath as she finally caught up to him. She could tell he was fuming as he paced back and forth in front of her.
"I tried, Hermione, I really tried," he said as he stopped to look at the girl sadly before he resumed his angry pacing. "I tried talking to him and it blew up in my face." He plopped down hopelessly on the ground where he stood. Hermione sat down next to him and gently took his hand.
"What happened in there?"
"It was like I was talking to a different person. There was so much anger in his eyes and in his voice, and I just couldn't get through to him. I tried to get him to talk to you-"
"Oh Harry!" Hermione cut him off as she got up. Now she was the one pacing, albeit nervously. "Why did you say anything?"
"Listen Hermione, I wasn't going to. At first I understood where he was coming from. But it's going too far. He's shut down. And I've been there before. I've been the person trying to shut people out because I didn't want them to see who I really was and what I was really feeling, and I didn't want to hurt them. But you two always saw through that and pushed me, and pushed me until I let you in. I was just trying to be the kind of friend to him that he always was to me. But he's doing a pretty damn good job of keeping me out right now," he finished angrily, pulling and handful of grass out of the ground next to him.
Hermione looked back towards the Burrow where she knew Ron was probably cleaning up the mess that he had made in the kitchen. "I'll talk to him. Tonight. Sooner or later he's going to have to talk to me, so I might as well take advantage of his silence now and say what I need to say, right?" she nervously laughed.
The day crawled along at a snail's pace, and with every aching moment, Hermione's anxiety over talking to Ron grew. She tried to get some rest and take a nap, as if she were gearing herself up for battle, which she guessed that in a way she was. She knew that trying to break through this wall that Ron had put up would be no easy feat. When she couldn't fall asleep, she tried to read, breaking out "Hogwarts, A History", an old constant that always helped to calm her nerves. Well, apparently that worked except for in this instance. Finally it was night time and everyone had retreated back to their respective rooms. Hermione had mentioned her plan to Ginny, who thought it was a good idea, and had promised to send Harry down to keep her company while she tried to talk to Ron. So leaving the safe haven of Ginny's room, Hermione climbed the stairs to Ron's room as quietly as she possibly could. Knocking lightly on the door, she heard a soft, "Come in," from Harry.
"Hey, he's in the bathroom right now but he'll be back in a minute. I didn't say anything about you coming in here," Harry explained. Right as he finished Ron walked in the room, rubbing a towel on his head to try and dry his hair that was dripping wet from the shower. He started when he noticed Hermione was in the room, and went to his closet to hang up the towel on the door.
"What are you doing in here?" he asked quietly, all the while not looking at her.
"I'm gonna go check on Ginny," Harry said before making his way out the door, giving Hermione's hand a squeeze as he passed her.
"I wanted to talk to you," Hermione said, looking at him as he crossed the room to sit on his bed.
"What if I don't feel like talking?" Ron responded, sounding aggravated already.
"Well then you can listen." A few minutes passed in silence as Hermione tried to gather her thoughts so that everything that she had been thinking for the last few days, hell the last few years, didn't come out in one big emotional blur. No, now was not the time for that. The only sound was the owls outside, hunting in the night.
"I'm not sure why you've been avoiding talking to me, and basically acting as though I don't exist even though we're living under the same roof. I have my theories, but I don't actually know, because as I said, you won't talk to me." At this Ron looked up at Hermione for the first time in days, guilt in his eyes. "Harry told me about your little argument, and what you said. All he was trying to do was stick up for me which probably could have waited a little while, nevertheless-"
"Hermione I don't want to talk about it," Ron mumbled, interrupting her.
"Well then when are we going to talk about it, Ron? I'm not asking anything of you! I'm not asking you to declare your feelings or to spend all of your time and energy on me, all I'm asking is that when we're in the same room you acknowledge my existence!" she exclaimed, emotion starting to get the best of her.
"Hermione, I said I don't want to talk about it, I don't understand what you and Harry aren't getting about that."
"Well then can you at least tell me why you won't talk about it?"
"Because I'm bloody tired, Hermione!" he shouted, standing up. "If you think that I don't notice when you walk into a room, or when you try to comfort mum when she gets upset, or how you bring meals to George's room when he doesn't want to eat with us, then you're wrong. If you think that every time Ginny tells me about how she can only fall asleep at night because you're there with her, that I don't want to take you in my arms and not let go, then you're absolutely barmy!"
At this point, silent tears were rolling down Hermione's face as she sat watching him pace around the room from her seat at the window.
"But I am trying so unbelievably hard to keep it all together in a time where no one else has it together at all. I'm trying to be the strong one, and if I pay even an ounce of attention to you when you're in the same room then it all goes to shit because it's not just a little with you, it's everything. I have to make my family my focus right now, and I can't let myself even think about you because when I'm around you everything else fades away and I can't afford that right now. I have to step up and fix what I destroyed when I left with you and Harry all of those months ago. And even if I can't fix it I at least have to try." His voice cracked at this last statement as he sat down defeated on his bed, his face buried in his palms.
For a while nobody spoke. It was exactly what Hermione had theorized, minus the part about her being a distraction because of his attraction to her. In all honesty, she had started to doubt within the last few days that he had feelings for her at all.
Finally she worked up the nerve to say something, but her quivering voice was so low that it was almost impossible to hear. "Ron, I just want to help, and I wish that you would let me try. I don't want to lose you."
"I don't want to lose you either Hermione, but…I just can't do this right now." He looked at her with the saddest eyes she had ever seen. It was in that moment that she realized, this, she, was his breaking point.
