When they left the house Carol was struck again by that overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss hanging in the air. Tobin and Lisa seemed a little better off than some of the people she saw on their way to find Sam. But perhaps their decision to adopt Sam had given them an immediate sense of purpose that provided a distraction from all the heartache, terror and loss.
Carol couldn't help but feel bad that she was about to rip away that sense of purpose from them. She was a compassionate person and she knew it wasn't going to be easy for any of them. But Sam was the one that mattered and she was now fully convinced that being with her and Daryl was what was best for him.
They assumed that Sam would have been located at that point so they headed straight to Tobin's house. But after ringing the doorbell and knocking, it was clear that no one was home. "What now?" Carol asked.
Daryl took a seat on the porch swing. "We wait." Carol sat beside him. "They'll come back eventually." After sitting for a few minutes facing the town, Carol switched spots and sat facing Daryl instead. There were too many sad faces walking by. Too many tears. Too much fear. "You okay?" he asked, clearly noticing how things were affecting her.
"Not really," she admitted. It felt good to have at least one person in the world she could actually be honest with. "You?"
Daryl shook his head. "This is new to them. This was us… back at the quarry… that first attack…" He looked up at her, realizing that maybe he was bringing up stuff he shouldn't. Daryl was always cautious bringing up memories of Ed, though she wasn't sure if it was because he thought maybe Carol missed him, or because he worried it would bring up bad memories.
"Ed is the furthest thing from my mind," Carol said softly. "I don't miss him. I miss Amy though. And Andrea… Dale…" Her voice trailed off. They all knew every name of every family member that had been lost along their journey, she didn't need to list them all for Daryl.
"Me too," Daryl replied. "Didn't even know some of them all that well, but they still felt like family."
"You think that will happen here?" Carol asked. "You think one day we'll all… fit in… and the whole town will feel like our family? Or will be always be the outsiders. The ones who are different. The ones who came late to the party?"
"It'll happen. They had their first taste of loss and terror. It'll change a lot of em," he nodded, sounding confident. "Lisa," he said, gesturing behind her with his eyes.
Carol stood and turned, watching as Lisa walked towards her house, looking curiously at them. "Where's Sam?" Carol asked immediately when Lisa got close enough.
"Tobin's still looking. He's a damn good hider," Lisa replied, with a little smile. "Can I help you with something?" she added, obviously wondering why they were on her porch.
"Maybe we should go inside," Carol said gently.
"Um, okay…." Lisa said, leading them into the house. "What's going on?" She looked nervous, particularly without Tobin there. "Maybe we should wait for my husband."
Daryl shook his head, "Won't take long. And I can go find Sam."
He and Carol shared a look and she started to talk. "We changed our mind. About Sam. We're gonna keep him." She thought direct and to the point would be best.
Lisa's reaction surprised them both. She started to laugh. "You're joking, right?"
Carol glanced at Daryl again and realized it was probably best if she did the talking. "No, we're serious. Daryl and I would like to keep Sam."
"Really?" she scoffed. "Well it's not happening. He's staying with us."
"With all due respect, I think Sam should have a say in the decision. He want's to be with us and Daryl and I are better prepared to deal with what he's going through," Carol spoke calmly, but made sure her tone was sharp.
"Better prepared? You? The two of you aren't even married. You're not even a couple are you? At least that's what I've heard. Maybe that's changed," Lisa spat angrily.
Carol could see Daryl was about to burst and she jumped in quickly to reply. "Our relationship is none of your business and none of your concern. And whether we are married or not will have no bearing whatsoever on our ability to raise Sam."
"I disagree," Lisa replied, crossing her arms stubbornly. "Sam is used to having a mother and a father. A true family. Tobin and I can give him that."
Carol was about done with this pretentious bitch. "Sam is used to hiding in a goddamn closet while his dad beats the shit out of his mom," she hissed. "That's what he's used to. That's what he's grown up with. Is that what you want to give him? You want to give him what he's used to?" She took a threatening step towards Lisa and the woman stepped back. She was clearly shaken by Carol's outburst, but Carol had to give her credit, she still wasn't backing down.
"Don't be ridiculous. We would give him a loving home with two parents who care about him," Lisa shot back.
"We can give him the same thing," Carol yelled back. "We don't have to be married for us both to love him."
"It's not just that," Lisa shook her head. "Daryl goes out for days at a time. It's dangerous out there. He might not come back… and then what?"
"I know what the fuck I'm doing out there," Daryl growled. "And in case last night wasn't enough of a reminder… it's dangerous in here too."
Carol nodded. "And Sam should be with people who can protect him."
"Yeah, you wanna talk about that?" a voice said from the doorway. "You wanna talk about how the sweet woman who bakes cookies and makes casseroles is so good with a gun?" Carol turned and saw Tobin. "You're a liar."
Carol sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I lied. I had my reasons." She took a deep breath. "What matters right now is my point from earlier… Sam should be with people who can protect him… and people who understand him."
"And that's us," Daryl finished.
"We're not discussing this," Tobin replied, moving closer to his wife. "When we find him, Sam will live here."
"Wait, what?" Carol felt her chest tighten with fear. "You still haven't found him?"
"We can figure this shit out later," Daryl muttered. "We gotta find the kid fi…" His words were interrupted by a loud banging at the door and all of a sudden Glenn burst into the room breathless.
"Walkers…" he gasped. "Herd. It's huge. Don't know if the walls will hold much longer…"
Carol felt the panic rising. This town was not prepared for a walker attack. These people were not fighters. How were they going to deal with a herd? She only allowed herself that one brief moment of panic before her survival instincts took over. "Tobin, get a gun and knife and go with Glenn. Daryl… you gotta find Sam," she said, giving him a look. He nodded. "When you do, bring him back here. Go," she yelled and the two men took off.
"You're gonna stay here," she said to Lisa. "I'm gonna start bringing all the kids and elderly to you. We can protect them better if they're all in one spot. Once they're all here you're gonna shut all doors and cover the windows. Lock yourselves in and don't even think about peeking outside." Carol could see that Lisa was freaking out and she grabbed her shoulders. "I need you to be strong. The children need you. Tell me you can do this?"
"I can do this," Lisa whispered. "I can. Go start bringing them and I'll find stuff to cover the windows."
What a strange turn of events Carol thought as she took off out the door. Less than a minute ago they were screaming at each other, and now they were working together - like family. Carol knew where all the elderly lived because she'd been helping to take care of them with meals since she arrived. One by one she went to the houses and quickly explained what was happening. Those who were able she asked to take food and supplies in case they were stuck in the house for a while.
One the way back with an older man who needed help to walk Carol spotted Carl. "Hey," she called out. He ran over. "Round up your friends and their siblings, get them all to Tobin and Lisa's house. We're putting all the kids and elderly there until we clear the herd."
"I'm not…" Carl started.
"I know," Carol replied. "But make sure your friends and your sister are safe inside. We're gonna need your help," she said with a smile. It was true. She could hear the snarling of the walkers on the other side of the fence and she could see a group trying to reinforce a couple panels of wall where the herd was pushing. It was bad. If the wall came down… it was going to be utter chaos.
Carol was on her fourth trip when she met Daryl returning to the house with Sam in tow. When the boy saw her he ran and threw his arms around her. "Go help, I'll be there as soon as I can," she called to Daryl. She watched him unsheath his knife and take off.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay," she whispered to Sam, hugging him back. "You're gonna stay at Lisa's until the walkers are gone. But as soon as it's over you're coming home with us, I promise."
He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. "Carol… don't die okay? Please don't die. Daryl too. Don't let him die."
Carol looked into his eyes and made a promise she hoped to hell she could keep. "We won't die. I promise." She hugged him again. "Come on, let's get you inside with the others." Her heart ached leaving him, but it felt good to know he would be safe. She had two more houses to go to and then she was free to head to the wall and help the others.
"I'm pretty sure that's everyone," she said quickly to Lisa after getting the last elderly couple inside. "When I go out lock the door, block it with something and make sure you get the rest of the windows covered." Lisa nodded. "When it's all clear I'll be back." I hope, she added in her mind.
Carol started towards the worst spot. She could see Daryl and Glenn perched on top of one of the panels. Daryl was shooting bolts and Glenn was firing off a handgun with a silencer so as not to draw any more of the herd to that spot. They obviously needed to get some of the herd cleared or the wall was coming down.
She was almost there when she froze in fear and watched the terror unfold in front of her. The wall started to tip. She could see Rick, Abe, Aaron, Michonne and several others pushing on it with all their might. But it was no use… it was gonna fall. It was the same panel with Glenn and Daryl perched on top.
It was all happening in slow motion. Glenn scrambled and somehow jumped as the wall started to fall. He landed with a thud, but he was on the inside. Daryl wasn't so lucky. As the wall started to come down he started to slip…down the other side… getting closer and closer to a huge herd of snarling walkers.
"I won't let him die, I promise," Carol whispered. She took off running, gun in one hand, knife in the other. "I promise Sam," she said out loud. "I promise."
