Part 7 – Freedom to Choose?

The gang was doing as Hiccup suggested and enjoying the calm night and each other's company. Of course they all were worried about their friend but he seemed to be holding it together well and the had discovered two parts to the poison already.

Heather slid over next to Astrid who seemed to be day-dreaming, "You're thinking about him aren't you."

Astrid blinked and looked at her friend, "Is it that obvious?"

Heather smiled, "To a trained eye, yes. So go to him."

"They made it clear they don't want us around bothering their research. I'm certainly no help to them in that field. I never know what they are talking about when they get like that."

Heather squared herself next to Astrid, "What's bothering you, beside the obvious."

Astrid had a pained look on her face, she whispered, "He... he asked me why I think I love him now when I used to hate him before."

Heather blinked and looked shocked, "Woah! Soo? He doesn't believe you really love him?"

"No, he said he knows I love him now. He thinks I was just faking it before to keep him the strong leader he was when he fought the Red Death. He thinks I pretended to like him and then eventually did fall for him, somehow."

Heather blinked again completely flabbergasted, "Hmm, I see."

Astrid looked at her strangely, "What? You think he had reason to question me?"

Heather looked very uncomfortable, "I mean, it is so obvious he's completely in love with you, but..."

Astrid actually turned to face her raven-haired friend directly, "But... what?"

"It's not my place, Astrid. You're my friend and I have an enormous respect for Hiccup."

"Heather! Tell me!" Astrid demanded.

Heather decided to just say it, "Well I can understand where he's coming from. You were always pretty cold to him. You only were nice when he did something you really approved of. You would question his orders and completely ignore them if you didn't like them. You do stick up for him, but as a friend would, not someone who loved him. And even recently when I asked you flat out if you were together you said just friends. Hiccup is a really smart guy, he picked up that you're feelings may have changed. I'm sorry Astrid, but as your friend, it's the truth. You have been giving really mixed signals these last few years."

Astrid looked like her friend just slapped her. The room had suddenly gone very quiet as everyone was listening. Astrid looked around and saw not just shock but they were nodding. "You all agree with her?"

Most of the others had the common sense not to answer and just turned away and pretended to talk about something else. The twins were not so wise. Tuff just nodded to his sister, "Wow, I didn't think anyone was brave enough to tell her that."

Ruff nodded and then waved good-bye, "And not get an axe to the head. You're brave, Heather, been nice knowing ya!"

Astrid looked to Dagur who never stepped down from a fight. He nodded, "I have to agree with my sister. You really have been terrible to him. It's been three years since the Red Death and you never made a move on him. You're like the biggest tease. You kiss him when you feel like it and it's enough to keep his hope up. It's like you're keeping your options open in case you find something better. If you don't, then Hiccup is your fall back."

"MY FALL BACK? Are you serious?!" She stood up and glared at the Berserker. The other Riders looked appropriately scared of her when she's like this. "Hiccup should not be ANYONE'S FALL BACK! He is good and caring and funny and amazing and sweet and compassionate and loyal and I LOVE HIM!"

She actually reached for her battle axe when she saw the smile on Dagur's face. He nodded towards the door, "Good. SO go tell HIM that."

Astrid realized what he and Heather were trying to do and looked between then seeing the smiles. She sat back down dropping her axe next to her and shook her head, "Have I really been doing that? I had no idea I was hurting him. I thought he knew how I felt."

Heather hugged her blond friend, "How can he know if you never tell him. I knew the first time I met you guys there something between you too. It was clear he was totally into you but you seemed so reluctant to reciprocate. I even tried flirting with to see if it would make you jealous. And, guess what? You threw me in jail to keep me away from your boy."

Astrid laughed, "You were testing me?" Heather nodded. "I guess I failed, because I still haven't actually said it to him in three years." She put her head in her hands, "Oh Thor, what do I do to show him I do really love him?"

Dagur spoke again with a big laugh, "Well, telling him would be a good first step. Then give him a REAL long deep kiss, not just a peck like normal. Then sit down and talk to him." He got a haunted look as he continued, "And if I were you, I would do it soon, considering..."

Astrid knew what he meant the poison, then she remembered something from when held her hand earlier, "Oh Thor!"

The other looked at her confused. Heather asked, "What's wrong?"

Astrid looked at her hand that Hiccup had been holding, "He was sweating."

"Boys do that sometimes," Heather didn't see the relevance.

"No, but he was flushed too. I thought he just had another attack, which he likely did, but ALSO... Sweat. As in fever? Dagur said that things got worse fast once the fever started. It's only been a few hours why would it be starting already? And why didn't he say anything about it? He always tells me everything."

Dagur had been listening to their exchange and jumped in, "Because, Astrid, he's also your leader. A good leader doesn't cause concern or panic if they can help it."

Astrid looked at him and realized he was right, but it still bothered her. "I just feel like there is more going on he isn't telling anyone. I just want to go slap him until he talks to me."

"Or you could always kiss him until he passes out," Ruff shot from the other side of the table.

Astrid and Heather looked up to realize the whole room was listening to them again. She discided to put it out there, "Did any of you notice anything off about him at supper?"

Tuff put his hand to his chin, "You mean other than his was sweating and his face was a lot redder and he was having trouble breathing?" Everyone stared at him. "What? You didn't notice he looked like he wanted to rip his clothes off and jump in the ocean?"

Dagur thought about the stories he'd heard, "If the fever has already started then your instincts are right Astrid. He's moved on to stage two already, but it's to early, it's not day two yet."

"What do you mean to early?" Astrid sat up straight now.

"I gave Hiccup and Fishlegs and list of stages this poison follows but you all read the reports from Mala. It's pretty much in there. Hiccup is stage two now. This one will see him get considerably weaker and the attacks will be more frequent and stronger, all wearing him down. The next stage is trouble breathing and the worst parts of the fever. He'll have to force himself to take every breath. One of us will need to watch him when he sleeps to keep him breathing. He'll have crazy dreams and get really quiet and have dark thoughts. Then the last stage, which those reports described pretty well. The fever gets a lot worse and burns him alive. Continual attacks strong enough to break bones. Then... he dies, one way or the other."

Tuff added, "Unless the previous stages are to much for his heart and it stops before that."

They are looked at him like he was a thoughtless jerk. Dagur glared at him and continued, "Yes, unless that happens, but in most cases it doesn't. The victim always reached the last stage. The cruel man who created this wanted them to so he could watch them die in agony. It made him happy to see people suffer and he was a chemical genius from LOTS of experimentation."

Astrid looked at Dagur, "You said the second to last stage involves dark thoughts. Like... suicidal ones?"

Dagur nodded, "Yes, it's usually the time that most choose to end their suffering rather than be a spectacle writhing in agony for others enjoyment."

Snotlout looked scared, "And you gave him that dagger? Are you crazy! What if he uses on himself?"

"I want him to use it on himself. Trust me, it's for the best. You read those reports and they aren't even the worst I've heard. If you all really love him you would do it for him in his sleep to be merciful."

Snotlout yelled, "NO! You heard him, he will not kill himself, it's not who he is. He wouldn't do that to us and his father. I don't care how dark his thoughts get he will ride this out to the end."

Ruff finally spoke, "I don't want him to die either but Dagur has a point. We all love Hiccup so much. He's our friend, our leader, the reason we have our amazing dragons." Everyone looked over at their dragons watching them. "Do we really want to force someone we love die screaming in agony as he burns alive just so we can have every last second with him? Isn't that selfish of us?"

The whole group looked down sadly. It's wasn't often the twins spoke seriously and that deeply. They all knew she was right.

Astrid realized she was being selfish, "I know I'm being selfish but I want every last heartbeat with him I can get. If that makes me a bad person so be it. We just got together finally. We are happy. I can't loose him yet. I'm not ready. I don't know if I ever will be. I still need to fix this whole question mess."

The others all felt how emotional Astrid was. She never normally opened up like this and certainly not to the whole group. The twins slid closer together and Dagur put his arm around Heather.

Dagur looked Astrid directly in the eyes, "I'm going to ask you all to promise me you won't hide that dagger. Leave it where Hiccup put it under his pillow. It doesn't matter what we think. If he decides using it is the right choice for him, we have to respect his wishes. It's HIS LIFE. He has the right to end it when and how he sees fit."

Astrid had to admit she was already planning to move that dagger when she was there next. Not take it completely just put it on a shelf or something. "I can see you were thinking about taking Astrid. Promise me you won't. Promise me you'll let him choose."

Snotlout jumped in, "But you said dark thoughts, like suicidal ones. If one of those dark thoughts make him do it that's not really him. It's the poison messing with his mind."

"I've been in some very dark places in my life Snotlout. No amount of dark thoughts can make someone do something that is fundamentally against who they are. They may try to end it but will hesitate and that will bring them back to their right mind and they will stop. IF you are right and he would never normally do it, you have nothing to worry about in promising."

Snotlout looked lost in thought, "If this makes you a bad person, then I am too. I'm not ready to loose Hiccup either. We are in a good place now, I feel like he listens to me and cares about my opinions now."

Astrid looked at the black haired boy, "You have grown up a lot over the last year Snotlout. We've all noticed it. And Hiccup always listened to you. He sees the change now and is willing to trust you with more important things. I trust you more now too."

Astrid shook noticeably, "I can't stop thinking something is going on we should know about." She swung her legs over the bench and stood. "I'm going to check on Hiccup. You guys stay here."

Dagur caught he hand before she got away, "You didn't promise yet."

Astrid looked down and pulled her hand away and started walking, "I don't agree with taking anyone or anything's freedom. So yes," she turned to look at them all, "I won't take the dagger away. But as Snotlout said, it's not who he is. BUT IF I see him forced to think about using it I will be on him in a second telling him all the reasons why he shouldn't."

"And if, after listening, he still decides to end himself after all that?" Dagur wasn't giving up.

Astrid actually let a sob escape, "Then I will kiss him and hold his hand and stay with him until he crosses over to Valhalla. And swear on both our lives to find the bastard who did this and give him a taste of his own medicine. WITHOUT the option of an early death." She turned and walked out.

Once outside she realized she surprised herself with that answer. She really thought she would stop him no matter what. She realized Dagur was right and it needed to be Hiccup's decision. She felt with every fiber of her being he wouldn't do it.

She walked to the edge of the boardwalk and took a few calming breaths. She looked out at the night sky. The Night Terrors had already flown around and lit all the torches and fire pits on the Edge.

The image of Hiccup hold that dagger and plunging it into his heart made her own heart skip a beat. She reached out and leaned against a pillar for support. She bent over and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. When she opened her eyes she stood up. Something caught her attention below. Something that didn't belong. She couldn't make it out clearly and started walking down until she saw that wild brown hair she would know anywhere.

"OH THOR! HELP! GET OUT HERE ALL OF YOU! STORMFLY COME!"

Her dragon was running to her side in seconds. Astrid jumped on and pointed down. The others came running out of the Clubhouse and followed Astrid with their eyes. It was Snotlout that noticed what Astrid had, "HICCUP! HE'S DROWNING!"

Dagur jumped on Windshear with Heather, "NO, he HAS drowned. We need to get his face out of the water NOW!"

Astrid was already hovering above the feeder, "Gently lift him, Stormfly. GENTLY!"

The dragon squawked and opened her talons as she descended and wrapped her foot around the small frail looking human. "Now to his hut, girl!" As they flew up and across to Hiccups hut Astrid screamed as they came near, "FISHLEGS!"

The rotund boy could move faster then you would think and was at the door in seconds. He looked up to see Stormfly carrying a pale and dripping wet Hiccup. "OH THOR! What happened? Tell me later, lower him into my arms! QUICK! We need to get him breathing!"

Stormfly hovered just above Fishlegs and dropped Hiccup into his friend's waiting arms. Fishlegs ran back inside and deposited Hiccup on his bed. Toothless was there in less than a second whining and murmuring at his rider. Fishlegs put his head to Hiccup's chest and listened, no breath and no heartbeat. He slapped his friend, "HICCUP! BREATH!" Toothless licked his human's face and cried out to him, still nothing.

The others landed and ran in seconds later and gasped that the brunet boy wasn't awake yet. Fishlegs opened Hiccup's mouth and check for obstructions then felt down the outside of his throat. "His airway is clear. We just need to make him take a breath."

Snotlout thought fast, "We could try to scare him?"

"With what? He isn't afraid of us or dragons so roars won't effect him," Fishlegs thought quickly.

Snotlout ran over and grabbed Hiccup by the shirt and shook him hard, "Hiccup! Wake UP!" He lost his grip on Hiccup's wet leather and the boy feel back down against the bed hard. The jarring motion forced his chest to contract and his lungs took the chance to try and expand. A small breath in, followed by a bigger one and Hiccup was coughing up water. Fishlegs rolled him onto his side and he hung over the edge. Toothless held his friend until ever last drop of water was forced out of Hiccups lungs and he lay on his bed breathing heavily. The other finally started breathing again themselves as they walked over to their soggy, very red, leader.

Astrid fell to her knees in front of him wiping his face off and hair with a towel, "Hiccup what happened?"

Hiccup sucked in a few more breaths before opening his eyes. He tried to lean up but was shaking to bad so Astrid and Fishlegs helped him into a sitting postion. He took a few more breaths and looked at her with a wry laugh, "A minor miscalculation on the depth of our feeding stations. And also, Fishlegs... I just hit stage two, hot flashes instead of the chills." He put his feet back on the ground as he kept breathing, "I felt really hot just planned to splash come water on my face but I just got hotter and hotter until I couldn't bare it. I stuck my head in the cool salt water and it felt so good I just pull myself all the way in... I forgot these are dragon sized not people sized and when I needed to breath I realized I was to far in to reach the edge."

Astrid kept stroking his back to help calm him as he recounted the events, "Are you still hot now?"

He shook his head, "No..." breath "it passed again." He took the towel and put it in his hair to catch the drops that were constantly sliding down his face. He licked his lips and looked around for water. He thought it was funny he was thirsty after nearly drowning.

He moved to stand up and get a drink when Snotlout pushed him back, "Stay! I'll get you a water." He poured a mug of water and brought it to his friend. Hiccup nodded in thanks and sucked the water down like a man in a desert. Snotlout took the mug back and hit Hiccup in the arm rather hard, "Don't scare us like that again! We are all already nervous messes."

Hiccup rubbed his arm and stared, "OW!" Then he realized that must have been terrifying for them given everything else going on. "I know, I'm sorry. It's not like I planned it."

Tuff shook his head, "Alright that's it. You don't go anywhere or do anything from now on without one of us, or a dragon, with you. Capiche, mon frere?"

Hiccup stopped drying his hair and looked up at them, "Come on guys, it was an accident. I'm fine, really." They all stood there staring at him with their arms crossed. He looked from person to person in shock, "Really?" They didn't stop staring at him and he finally conceded, "Alright fine, I'll take a chaperone with me everywhere from now on. If it will make you all feel better."

Ruff nodded still glaring at him, "It will." She came up right beside him and put her finger in his face, "No sneaking away for you mister! You're under House Arrest until you're cured."

Hiccup leaned back from her finger and just laughed, "I think that is a little extreme, don't you?"

Tuff shook his head, "NO, we do not. Back at the Clubhouse we talked about this and apparently we all agree that we love you and are not ready to loose you yet. SO if having one of use guarding you night and day keeps you safe that is what we will do."

Hiccup laughed again and raised his hands in defeat, "Ok, ok, I get it you're worried about me. I'm touched, really." He put his hand to his heart and bowed before putting the towel back in his hair.

Tuff nodded, "Good. The only exception being when you decide to kill yourself with that really pretty dagger tomorrow to escape the poison. Or if you don't kill yourself one of us will do it for you in your sleep. We are going to be sad but ok with helping you die quickly."

Hiccup stopped cold and looked at them all as if he was just slapped. They surrounded Tuff shushing him. "SHUT UP TUFFNUT!"

Ruff dragged him out of the room putting her hand over his mouth. "We're not supposed to tell HIM that."

"But we all agreed to let him kill himself OR kill him, right? Did I miss some change to that plan?" Tuff mumbled around his sisters hand as he was being dragged out by his hair.

Heather stepped forward to try to explain, "Hiccup... no! That is not what we meant... We just think..."

Snotlout shook his head, "Astrid and I know you won't do it but they all think you will."

Hiccup looked at Astrid, Snotlout, Dagur and Heather, "You are all fine with me killing myself? You're going to help me do it?"

They all stopped dead and stared at Hiccup in surprise. Astrid looked at the others and then down at Hiccup, "Is that... something you are... thinking about doing?"

Hiccup looked shocked. He stood and walked over to Toothless who wrapped his tail around him and growled at them, "NO! NO IT'S NOT! I would never do that! The fact that any of you even think I would consider that means you don't really know me at all! And if you think I'm suffering to much you'll kill me in my sleep? Are you serious?"

Snotlout looked vindicated and shouted at the others as he walked towards Hiccup, "I TOLD YOU ALL! I said he would never do that! It's not who he is. He wouldn't do that to us or his father. He's too strong for that!" Snotlout stood beside Hiccup, "I told them that. They all said you will eventually change your mind because of dark thoughts near the end."

Astrid yelled, "SNOTLOUT!"

Hiccup was furious, he shook his head and just climbed on Toothless, "I need some air! I can't be here right now." Toothless quickly leaped around the others and as soon as he was to the door shot into the sky.

Astrid ran to the door and shouted, "Hiccup! Wait!"

Hiccup yelled back, "NO! And don't follow me!"

Astrid screamed, "THOR NOT AGAIN! HICCUP! STOP FLYING AWAY FROM ME!"