Ayo: Okay, before we get started, I apologize for taking a long time to update. I've had an actual life for a while… Okay, I lied. Anyway, I finally got my hands on the manga, and it rocks!!! Fang is SO hot in it!
Max: I will kill you!!!
Ayo: Oh, yeah, and I've returned the memory of the fifth book to the flock. I've had to separate Max and Fang by putting an unbreakable wall of glass between them. For the first few hours, they were screaming each others names back and forth, and then Max realized how stupid they were acting, and huddled up in a corner.
Max: It's your fault!
Ayo: How so?
Max: *glares*
Angel: "The memories came flooding back. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I just HAD to run and hug him! Angel SHUT UP! Then the glass came out of nowhere, and I called out to him- An-GEL!- so it's your fault!" is what she's thinking, VERY roughly translated from her head and thoughts to become even more humiliating.
Max: *sinks to the ground* WHHHHYYYYYYYYYY?!
Ayo: Okay, now, let's read.
Hey, Max," drawled Iggy, leaning casually on the doorframe of our little house in the mountains. A smirk was playing round his lips, making me suspicious.
"What?"
"I know a blonde who tripped over a cordless phone."
Max: Really, Iggy?
Iggy; Yep. Many, many times.
I scowled fiercely at him, though of course, it was lost on him. Ugh. "I'm glaring daggers at you, Iggy. That wasn't even funny. It was lame!"
He grinned at me. "It was a bit funny."
"Wasn't."
Iggy shrugged and came fully into the room, throwing himself onto the couch. His hand found the remote with eerie accuracy and he turned on the TV. Figuring that he wasn't going to annoy me any more, I headed out of the room and bumped straight into Fang.
"Oops," I muttered. He was looking at me strangely. "What?"
He allowed a smile to flicker across his face before it resumed its usual blank expression. "Iggy test his new jokes on you?"
I frowned. "Yes, he has actually." I sniffed and walked down the hallway.
"Max?" he called after me. I turned around, waiting for him to say something. "There was this blonde girl, and she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept."
Max: FANG!!!!!!! You ARE DEAD!!!!!!
Fang: But you love me THIS much. *laughs*
Max: Oh, yeah, forgot.
I just turned my head away and stalked into Angel and Nudge's room, where Angel was sitting playing with her stuffed animals. She looked up upon hearing me enter and gave me a strange look. I raised my eyebrow at her.
"Max?" she said.
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Iggy told me that he knew a blonde girl who missed the 44 bus so she took the 22 bus twice instead. Then he laughed, but I didn't know why it was funny!" Her eyes were large and innocent. "Was he being mean? He said something like it to you and you got mad…"
I mentally growled. So Iggy thought he could have his fun with Angel too? I was so going to get him later. And kick his butt. And rip his head off. And maybe eat his heart. I don't know something creative like that. "I'll take care of it, don't worry," I said to Angel, and she giggled at the thoughts running through my head.
I entered the living room where Iggy lay crashed on the couch, the perfect picture of ease.
"You," I said menacingly and he looked up.
"Oh, hey Max," he said. "Angel told you about what I said to her? It was only a joke… really! Ma-ax, no need for tha—ow!" I'd whacked him over the head with two uncomfy cushions at once. Immediately, he leapt up and grabbed the cushions off me, hitting me back.
It ended up with Iggy and I wrestling on the floor, attempting to bat one another with the cushions. It was then Fang walked in.
"Fang!" I exclaimed. "A little help?"
He shook his head slowly. "I can't leave you two alone for one minute. Wonder what you'll be like when you're sixteen."
I gasped. "What?! No! Iggy and I are not like that! Eew! Iggy, get off me." Was that relief I saw in Fang's eyes? No, couldn't have been…
Max: It WAS, wasn't it? Oh it BETTER have been!
Fang: I don't know! It's a fanfic!
"You sounded like Nudge there," Iggy said and rolled off me, rubbing the back of his head. "Fang, do you really think I'd be all over your chick like that?"
Fang and I raised our eyebrows at the same time. "His chick?" I asked, as he said, "My chick?"
Max: *banging on glass* CHICK? Iggy, you sexist pig! I do NOT belong to anyone!
Ayo: Max, calm down. It's not real. And Fang SO owns you.
Iggy nodded. "I thought I was supposed to be the blind one around here. I can see that you two are totally digging one another." He grinned mischievously and high tailed it out of the room. I stared after him and then threw Fang a, What the heck was that all about? look.
He shrugged. "Don't know. Iggy thinks we're in looove."
Wow, looove. With a triple 'o'. That's… certainly something.
Iggy: Hey, look. Apparently, fanfic me was right. *referring to Max and Fang, kissing each other through the glass*
Gazzy: Ew!
Nudge: You're one to talk. Honestly, the stuff you do is WAY grosser than that. Like when- *keeps rambling on*
Ayo: Desperate little teenagers, aren't you? Okay, fine. *snaps*
*The glass disappears, causing Max and Fang to bump into each other, hitting noses, which makes them jump *
Max: *blushes*
"And why does he think that?"
Iggy: *sarcastically* Guess we'll never know.
He shrugged again. Fang is a man of many words.
"Thanks for your help," I said sarcastically and stood up. "Remind me to come to you in a crisis." For the second time that day, I walked out of the living room and into Angel's room. "I don't think Iggy will be bothering you again," I told her, "and if he does, tell me."
She nodded and grinned. "Okay, Max, I will!"
"Good girl," I said with a smile and put my hand on the doorknob.
"Oh, and Max?"
Please don't let Angel tell me a blonde joke, please please please…
"You and Fang are 'totally digging one another' as Iggy put it." She smiled angelically and tapped her temple. Whaaat?
"What did I tell you about invading other people's privacy, Angel?" I asked patiently.
"Don't do it," she said quietly. "It was only once or twice."
Like that makes it okay. "Fine, fine. I'm going to see what Iggy's making for dinner." And with that, I headed off to the kitchen. Iggy looked round when he heard me, his eyes trained on my face. It was really quite freaky how he knew exactly where I was.
"What's for dinner, Chef?" I asked.
"Spaghetti bolognese," he answered. "How does a blonde try to kill a bird?"
I gritted my teeth together. "I don't know, Iggy. And I don't want to know."
"She throws it off a cliff!" He laughed.
"Iggy?" I asked casually.
He looked back round at me. "What?" he said suspiciously.
"You're strawberry blonde. I don't think you're in the position to be making blonde jokes." Ah-ha! I had him there.
He shrugged. "Yeah, maybe I am. But I'm not as blonde as you, if I can remember your hair colour correctly."
"It's turned brown," I snapped and glared at him.
"No it hasn't, Max! It's still blonde, like it was when you were younger! I remember when your hair was really blonde, it's got a bit darker though, but it's not brown. I wish my hair would go darker, I think I'd like black hair. But brown is cool too, I guess. Or maybe I should dye my hair blonde, or somethi—"
Nudge: It might be fun to dye my hair sometime, huh? I never really thought about it. Hey, Max, can I-
Max: No.
Nudge But-
Max: Shhhhh.
Nudge: It-
Max zzzzzzz
Nudge: I really thi-
Max: Zup!
Nudge: You-
Max: EEEEEEEEEE
Nudge: Ugh!
"Nudge. Shut up, please," I said, my hand over her mouth.
"Mmph! Mmkay," she managed to get out and I released her.
"And Iggy, if I hear one more blonde joke, no matter who you're saying it to, I don't care who it is, even Fang, then I will personally make you regret ever searching for blonde jokes on the internet. Are we clear on that?"
Iggy: How do I read things on the internet?
He nodded and saluted. "Sir, yes, sir!"
I groaned.
Six days later.
We were sitting watching TV, all of us as a flock. The kids had just stopped laughing at whatever they found funny and it was pretty quiet, until…
"I know a blonde who tried to put M&Ms into alphabetical order."
"Iggy!"
Ayo: Okay, I'll try to get another one up TODAY. Write hateful comments if I don't. Again, don't worry about the flock. I remember to feed them….. Most of the time…. See you guys later!
