Lily was annoyed for a number of reasons.
The first concerned a letter she received this morning from her mother, which told the story of Petunia's recent engagement to Vernon Dursley. The wedding was to take place over the Christmas holiday, and Lily was expected to attend. Lily couldn't think of a worse way to spend her much-needed break, but she was relieved that her parents didn't expect them to present a false sisterly relationship—she wasn't asked to be part of the wedding party after all.
Secondly, she didn't know what to do about Isabella. The newcomer had completely closed herself off to all of them over the past week, and no one knew why; though Keira had relayed to her Isabella's frantic questions about emergency contact and subsequent dash to McGonagall's office.
Lily prided herself on being a compassionate and welcoming friend, but the situation with Isabella was different. They had only known her for a short while, and Lily or Keira did not know how exactly to approach her. Although it had frustrated her to no end, Keira had assured Lily that Isabella eventually would open up to them, or at the very least, get over it on her own.
The third was the fact that Elias was thirty minutes late in meeting her in the library, where she was currently sitting alone waiting for him. She usually would not be so irritated, but Potter and his flavor of the week were sitting a few tables away being sickeningly distracting.
Okay…even Lily had to admit that was a bit of an exaggeration, but they were still distracting.
Lily was almost floored when she saw Potter walk into the library with a girl she barely recognized. Despite Keira's insistence over the past few weeks, Lily still had a hard time believing that girl was Delilah Peterson, who had apparently been hit by puberty like a ton of bricks over the summer. On top of that, Potter never studied in the library, not even for O.W.L.s, so Lily was convinced that they were here solely because he knew she would be here and wanted to flaunt his new fling in front of her, as he had done countless times before.
Except this time, it was different. For one thing, Potter and Delilah were not being overly affectionate. Indeed, they were sitting close to each other on the same side of the table, their backs to Lily, and holding hands underneath. Potter would sometimes release her hand and move his arm up to lie across her shoulders, pulling her close every once in a while to whisper something in her ear. And still at other times, they would keep to themselves, focusing on whatever work lay before them.
Overall, though, it really didn't matter, because Lily was certain Potter hadn't seen her upon reaching their table, so he had no idea she was even there, and this made her feel somewhat embarrassed and egocentric.
But it wasn't too far-fetched of an idea, Lily thought defensively as she opened Advanced Potion Making and began her essay on the Draught of Living Death, and she knew she was right.
Even as she tried to defend her conceitedness, she couldn't help but let her mind brood over her and Potter's interaction over the past few years.
Over third year, Potter's childish behavior—pulling her hair, shooting spitballs at her, etc.—slowly transformed into constant attempts at flirting, countless date offerings, and other unreserved forms of attention-seeking.
And although Lily would never admit it to anyone—she could hardly admit it to herself—a very small part of her had always been slightly flattered by it all. Potter was, after all, one of the most desired guys in school, and he had spent the better part of the last three years trying to win her affection. Not that she needed his validation, but Lily, like most girls her age who weren't Mary Macdonald or Thalia Crake of Ravenclaw, got a little insecure from time to time, and Potter's attention was encouraging.
That small feeling of appreciation, however, had always been trumped by Potter's overbearing arrogance and Severus' endless ridicule, resulting in her constant rebuffs.
Things were different now, though.
More or less since school began, Potter's attitude towards Lily had gone from one extreme to the other, now settling somewhere in the middle with civil indifference since that night in the common room. This was what she had been wanting for so long, but for whatever reason, it didn't feel right.
"Hey, Lily."
Lily started at the sound of her name and turned to see Elias coming toward her from the stacks, a couple of books in his hands already. She smiled warmly and all thoughts of Potter left her mind immediately.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, dropping the books on the table and taking the seat across from her, conveniently blocking Potter and Delilah.
"Quidditch practice run late I take it?"
Elias grinned playfully at her. "How'd you guess?"
Lily felt her insides flutter, just as they did every time he smiled at her.
"I don't know, but I think it has something to do with the team captain," Lily said. "I hear he's a great, mean prat."
"Oh really, is that what they say about him?" Elias asked with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't think you were interested in kissing 'great, mean prats.'"
Lily's cheeks burned. "It's not so bad," she said shyly.
"'Not so bad,' that's all I get?" He looked thoughtful for a second. "I guess I'm going to have to try harder next time," he said with a wink.
"I look forward to it," Lily said barely above a whisper, her face still feeling hot.
"Sorry, didn't catch that?" he said with a smirk.
Lily rolled her eyes but grinned. "I said 'I look forward to it.'"
Elias leaned in close to her, and Lily's breath hitched. "You know, we can cut our studying short and get out of here."
"I have to finish this, sorry," Lily said with a sad sigh, gesturing to her essay. "You can wait, can't you?"
Elias laughed and shook his head, earning him a shush from a harassed-looking Madam Grimes, who happened to be patrolling the aisles near them. He shrugged and grinned at Lily.
She pursed her lips, trying not to smile, and went back to her essay.
Flirting with Elias is so much more enjoyable than trying to flirt with Severus was, Lily mused as she began flipping through her textbook. In fact, everything was more enjoyable with Elias than it ever was with her ex-boyfriend, and Lily wondered why she ever considered that relationship something worth fighting for.
Lily had always brushed off Elias' reserved yet persistent flirting throughout their fifth year because of her ties to Severus, but it had been difficult to ignore his good looks. Lily slyly glanced up at him now and pursed her lips again.
Elias was tall and well filled out, with broad shoulders, tan skin, dark blue eyes, and copper brown hair. He had a square face with a strong jaw that was usually covered with stubble, Lily's favorite feature because it gave him a rugged look. Lily knew he would have easily been as popular as Potter, Black, or Charlie Davies, but girls didn't pay him much attention because he wasn't an arrogant showoff, a shameless pretty boy, or a smarmy git, respectively. He was the strong and silent type, which suited Lily just fine.
But there was one more reason why Lily had found herself growing closer to Elias over the past few weeks. Like her, he was Muggle-born, and despite what Isabella said about them all being in danger, her situation, and all Muggle-borns in the Wizarding community for that matter, was different.
Pureblood traitors could eventually be convinced to defect to the Dark side and all past grievances would be forgiven because, well, they were purebloods. Muggle-borns weren't wanted either way, and Elias understood this better than her roommates ever could.
Lily chanced another look at him and watched as he worked feverishly at his Ancient Runes work, the main subject he particularly excelled in along with Arithmancy. Lily discovered that he was better at the more technical subjects, the ones where direct problem-solution patterns were featured, which made him fit so well as a Quidditch captain.
"I can tell you're staring at me," Elias said grinning, without looking up. Lily felt her cheeks burn once more.
"It's just fascinating watching you work on that stuff," she said sheepishly. "I was never good at Ancient Runes."
"And I don't get your interest in Potions," Elias said, gesturing at her nearly completed essay. "Potions has too many variables and too much potential for mistake where one could easily get lost in it, trying to improve this and intensify that. Not saying it's a bad thing, but you already have double what Slughorn asked for, and I am sure you would continue if I didn't ask if you were ready to leave."
"You're finished?"
Elias nodded. "And I know you're not, but would you be able to turn that last paragraph into a conclusion?"
"Give me a minute," Lily said and went back to her essay, silently chastising herself for appearing so anxious. She didn't know what Elias had done to her to make her cut her work short or become a bit lax about her Prefect duties lately, but she assumed it had something to do with the fact that Severus never made her feel as wanted as Elias does now, and she and Elias weren't even dating.
Yet, Lily thought with a small smile.
"Done."
"Great," Elias replied, shoving his books into his bag and grabbing her stack.
A few minutes later, they were exiting the library, not hand in hand, but still very close.
After fifteen minutes of chatting and walking aimlessly throughout the corridors, Lily realized they were on course for the abandoned classroom on the fourth floor and had to bite her lip to keep from grinning like a Cheshire cat.
They were soon on the classroom's balcony admiring the view of the grounds below. Lily was standing against the balustrade with her back against Elias, who had his arms wrapped around her, keeping her warm. It had been raining all day and the clouds had just begun to break up, revealing a nearly full moon that shone brightly upon the dark lake.
"Hey, so I had a question," Elias said, his breath warm against her ear.
"Okay," Lily replied, trying to keep her voice even.
"About the Hogsmeade trip at the end of the month."
"Yes?" Lily squeaked, her heart hammering against her chest.
"Do you really think we will have to baby-sit the third years?"
Lily frowned and elbowed him sharply in the stomach.
"Hey!" he said indignantly, but he was laughing. He suddenly spun her around so she was now facing him.
"You deserved it," she said, pouting slightly.
"I really do want to know if you think we'll have to," Elias said, now smirking, "because if so, it would really interfere with the date I have planned for us."
Lily grinned. "So are you asking me to Hogsmeade?"
"I guess I am. Do you want to go with me?"
"Maybe," Lily said, shrugging. "I might need some convincing."
"You little—"
But he was cut off when Lily covered his lips with her own. Elias, caught by surprise, hesitated for a second before settling into the kiss and bringing his hands up to tangle in her hair. Only recently did Lily start wearing it down more often, when Elias made a quiet comment about liking it that way.
Lily brought her own hands up around his neck and had to keep herself from moaning when Elias deepened the kiss, reveling in the tingling sensation that shot through her body whenever their tongues touched.
In the back of her mind, Lily thought she might have heard footsteps coming from the classroom, but she immediately let the thought go as Elias' hands moved down to her lower back and waist, knowing what would come next. She broke the kiss and gently shoved away from him, already giggling.
"No tickling," she laughed, panting a little.
"Sorry," Elias said guiltily, raising his hands. "They kind of have a mind of their own."
"I bet," Lily muttered. She shook her head and smiled, trying to cool herself down. "Now, can we try again?"
"With pleasure," Elias grinned, pulling her close to him and kissing her forcefully.
Lily sighed into him and let her hands roam down his back under his robes. Her body was heating up again, and she didn't understand how she could be so turned on by just kissing. Going slow with Elias, if they ever became a couple, was going to pose some difficult challenges.
"I thought you said this room was always empty, Avery."
Lily's eyes shot open, and she pushed away from Elias just as he made to part her lips. She looked to the archway between the room and balcony, and the sight made her blood turn cold and her stomach drop to settle somewhere near her feet.
Standing there was Avery, a seventh year Slytherin she knew as Rebastan Lestrange, and Severus. To anyone else, Severus would have looked impassive, but Lily recognized the set jaw and anger burning behind his eyes. She knew him too well.
"It usually is," Avery said, and Lily identified a bit of apprehension in his voice. "I wouldn't have suggested it had I known it was snogging grounds for Mudblood knobs and their slags."
Lily thought she saw Severus glare at Avery, but she couldn't be sure.
"Watch your damn mouth," Elias almost growled, taking a step forward with his wand already in his hand, "or I'll give you worse than what Potter and Black did a few weeks ago."
Avery sneered. "Are you threatening me? Do you know who I am, what I could have done to you?"
"I know exactly who you are," Elias countered. "You're Michael Avery, the only person who couldn't produce a silent shield charm in Defense Against the Dark Arts today and one of seven Slytherin Quidditch players who will get their asses handed to them this Saturday."
The color drained from Avery's face. "You fucking little..." he mumbled as he grabbed his wand and took a step forward. Lestrange held his arm out to stop him.
"Avery," he snapped in a low voice, "get a hold of yourself. You know what we were told: tread lightly and keep our heads down right now." He then looked up at Lily and Elias and smirked. "This obviously wasn't the best choice for privacy, for us at least. We will leave you two lovebirds to your business."
"Don't bother," Lily said, feeling a mixture of anger and humiliation. She then turned to Elias. "Let's go."
Elias nodded curtly and grabbed her hand, catching Lily by surprise for only a second before she tightened her hold. The Slytherins parted to let them pass, and she was slightly shocked that they let them do so unharmed.
Elias grabbed their bags from the desk they had dumped them on, and they were almost out the door before she heard Avery say, "You almost had us convinced about her, Snape. Who knew she'd end up running to some lame Hufflepuff. At least you got what you wanted out of her, eh?" He snickered maliciously.
Lily's face burned, and she turned back to face them. Severus was looking right at her, the anger in his eyes replaced with spite and a slight smirk at his lips. Lily instantly felt hot tears spring to her eyes and her throat constrict. She swiftly turned away from him and followed Elias out of the classroom.
They walked toward the main staircase in silence for a few minutes until Elias spoke.
"What do you think they are up to? Nothing good, I imagine. Lousy idiots," he spat, shaking his head. "Do you think we should report them to McGonagall?"
Lily didn't respond, afraid that it would only be a sob. She hated that Severus was still able to affect her like this despite everything they had gone through. Even more, she couldn't believe that he would expose their most intimate moments, especially to his Slytherin 'friends,' who he had long derided for being impressionable, delusional, and meek. It was easy for Lily to see now that Severus had fully become one of them.
"Is everything okay, Lily?"
"Hmm?" Lily asked, abruptly realizing that Elias had stopped and was staring at her with concern. "Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking."
Elias smiled. "Of course you were. You're not afraid of them, are you?"
Lily shook her head quickly. "No, of course not," she said truthfully. "It just angers me to no end, how they think they can go around intimidating everyone else without consequence."
"Don't let them bother you so much," Elias said soothingly. "They will get theirs one of these days, trust me. Besides, I don't like you being so worked up." He raised his hand and smoothed the wrinkle between her furrowed brows with his thumb. His hand felt cool against her skin, and her whole body relaxed at his light touch.
"Much better," Elias said softly before dropping his hand. "Shall we head back? It must nearly be curfew."
"Yeah, and I should try to turn in early," she said, yawning as if on cue. "I have a long day tomorrow."
"Yeah, and it's because of extra Potions," Elias said derisively, and Lily punched him in the arm.
"Have you ever thought about putting those violent tendencies to good use, say as part of your Quidditch team?"
"I'm dreadful on a broom," Lily admitted sheepishly.
"Finally! Something useful I can teach you!" Elias almost shouted with glee, and Lily laughed at his giddy nature, although she had no plans on holding him to this. She was hoping to avoid all possible embarrassing situations while with Elias, and she on a broom was definitely one of them.
A few minutes later, they had reached the Fat Lady. A few other sixth and seventh years were also just getting to the common room, including Remus and Sirius, who gave Elias an indifferent look and cold stare, respectively.
"Looks like I've strayed too far into enemy territory," Elias said, and Lily noticed the hint of anxiety beneath his coolness.
"Don't worry about them," Lily replied, pulling Elias past the portrait, continuing down the corridor, and rounding a corner for more privacy. When she turned to face him, he was smiling suggestively.
"Aren't you being a little forward? We haven't even been on a single date," Elias asked reproachfully, but he was already pulling her towards him.
Within seconds, Lily was losing her head again as Elias' hands went roaming once more. It wasn't until she felt heat pooling in her center that she suddenly pulled away from the kiss; she wasn't ready for that reaction yet.
"Sorry," Elias said hastily.
Lily shook her head. "No, you did nothing wrong," Lily assured him. "Maybe we should just turn-in."
"I think that is a good idea," Elias said with a mixture of relief and regret. "I'll walk you back."
When they reached the Fat Lay again, Elias gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Goodnight, Lily. I'll see you in Potions."
"Goodnight, Elias."
Lily watched him go until he turned the corner and was out of sight. She ran her fingers through her hair to remove the evidence of Elias' fervor, and then pressed her hands to her face, hoping to cool down the flush in her cheeks.
"Try as you might," the Fat Lady said disapprovingly, "but anyone will be able to tell you've just had a good snog."
"Acromantula," Lily said in a bored voice, "and mind your own."
The Fat Lady clucked her tongue and bristled, but swung open without another word. Lily made her way through the portrait hole and was slightly annoyed to find the common room still full of people. She thought about just heading straight to the dormitory, but she knew she wouldn't get away with ignoring Keira, who was now waving frantically from near the fire.
She made her way over and saw that Keira was with Isabella and Jane, both working on homework. She looked at Isabella pointedly and then raised her eyebrows in question at Keira. The latter shook her head sadly, and Lily frowned. Keira shrugged and gave her a look that said, "Give her some time."
"Hey, girls," Lily greeted once she finally reached them. Jane glanced up and smiled, and Isabella raised a hand without looking up.
"Joining us?" Keira asked.
"No, I'm pretty much caught up," Lily said. "I was able to get most of it done in the library."
"You were there with Elias, right?" Jane asked sweetly, but Lily knew something was up with the warning look Keira gave her.
"I was," Lily said, matching Jane's tone and expecting a barrage of questions, but they never came. Instead, Jane continued with her homework, but Lily saw a look of satisfaction on her face.
"You two are getting along well," Keira said.
"We are."
There was a pause, and Lily looked around the common room, avoiding Keira's eyes. "Well, goodnight," she finally said without looking at any of them and all but fled up the staircase.
Once safe in the dormitory, Lily threw her bag on her bed, grabbed her bathrobe, and headed for the bathroom, feeling slightly guilty. She wasn't really keeping anything major from them, for as close as she was with Keira and Jane, they didn't always talk about their snogging partners—not right away at least. After all, it was just kissing.
They'll find out about our Hogsmeade date soon, Lily thought as she grabbed her shower supplies from her cubby in the bathroom and turned on the water.
But until then, it will be our little secret. Lily smiled, touching her fingers to her lips, and stepped into the steaming stall.
"Merlin, Evans, you eating for two or something?"
Lily looked up from her plate and glared at Sirius, who was sitting across from her. It was dinnertime, and the Great Hall was full and loud with the excitement that only came on Friday evenings after a long week of classes. Lily would have been just as thrilled if it had not been for the appointment she had in just a few minutes in the Potions classroom, hence her zealous pace. Well, that and the fact she had spent the lunch hour with Elias instead of in the Great Hall and hadn't eaten since breakfast.
"Shove it," Lily said, setting her knife and fork down and grabbing her bag.
"My, my, my, what has gotten into Miss Evans lately?" Sirius asked, laughing and nudging James to the right of him.
"Besides Elias Smith?" James muttered without looking at either of them and keeping his attention on Ted Knowles, a fifth year beater with whom James was discussing game tactics.
"Pigs," Lily spat, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "I'll see you girls later."
"Good luck," Keira said brightly, and Lily knew that she wasn't talking about her Potions work.
Lily was heading up to Slughorn's classroom a few minutes later, her unease increasing with each step. If it weren't for her sincere passion for Potions, she would have declined Slughorn's invitation to continue with supplement advanced Potions lessons this year, the most important of them all. Her work this year would be instrumental in her pursuit for her Potions Master License during her seventh year, which itself would make her a standout candidate for when she applied to the Healer program.
Being a physician had always been Lily's aspiration when she was a little girl, and that didn't change once she became part of the Wizarding world. In fact, her enthusiasm only increased once she learned of the Healer career. She hoped to make her footprint by effectively combining magical and Muggle treatments, using the best of both worlds.
The Healer training program at St. Mungo's was one of the most competitive programs for post-Hogwarts education, second only to Auror training. Lily knew she had what it took to be a Healer—top marks, patience, unwavering determination, and genuine concern for the welfare of others—but nowadays it took more than that, and that was why she was grateful for Slughorn's extra Potions lessons that he began during her forth year.
It was also Slughorn's connections at both the Ministry and St. Mungo's that would make it possible for her to work toward the Potions Master License next year, which was usually only offered to fully trained wizards after completion of school. As overbearing and controlling as Slughorn came off sometimes, Lily couldn't deny the value of her association with him and would be eternally grateful for it.
But the implications of these lessons and the hard work she would encounter over the next few years were not the cause for her agitation—it was the person with whom she would be continuing on this journey.
Severus was already present and chatting with Slughorn when Lily entered the classroom. She was still not ready for this, for her and Severus to be competing against each other, instead of working together. Her thoughts went back to last night, and she cringed. That was not how she wanted him to learn that she had moved on; in fact, she had been hoping for him to never find out.
"Ah! There you are Miss Evans," Slughorn greeted.
"Good evening, Professor," Lily said with a small smile. "Hello, Severus."
"Lily," Severus replied with a nod, and the look he gave her caused a variety of emotions to flood through her, everything from lament to anger to apathy.
Slughorn looked between the two with true confusion, and Lily prayed that he didn't question the extreme change in their interaction from last year. Apparently, no one up there was listening.
"Is everything okay with you two?" Slughorn asked. "I would hate to think there is any trouble between my two Potions stars."
Lily made to reply, but Severus spoke first.
"Everything is as good as it can be," Severus said. "I think we both just want to get on with whatever challenge you have for us."
Lily noted his cool tone but appreciated his directness. Severus was right—she didn't want to be in his company any longer than necessary and knew he was thinking the same.
"Of course, of course," Slughorn said, still sounding and looking uncertain. He shook his head a little before collecting himself and gesturing toward the blackboard.
"Miss Evans, before you arrived, I was explaining to Mr. Snape that a discovery has been made to help resuscitate people who have been Petrified, regardless of the source."
"Wow," Lily whispered, her interest immediately piqued. She knew that someone who had been Petrified was similar to a comatose person in the Muggle word—there was no cure or treatment; the individual would awake when the body was ready, if at all. The fact that there was a possible treatment was very promising for Wizard medicine, but she knew there must be a catch.
"Wow, indeed," Slughorn said genially. "The possibilities with such a discovery are endless. The thing is that it involves the use of Mandrake roots."
"And there's the catch," Severus said in a low voice, and Lily was both pleased and annoyed to see that they were on the same wavelength, as they always were where Potions was concerned.
"Yes, quite a problem," Slughorn said, nodding appreciatively. "Mandrake cries are very deadly, as you know, so the research has been very difficult, but solid nonetheless." He then stepped up to his teaching platform and went around to his desk. After rummaging through the drawers, he pulled out a few notebooks that Lily suspected were research reports. He then went into his private study and quickly emerged with a couple of small, sealed jars.
"Mandrake roots," he said excitedly, handing a jar to each of them. He then held up the reports. "This is the latest research on the restorative properties of Mandrake root. Our first step should be to just cook some up. I think you should be able to workout where to go from there based on what you read. I'll be grading some essays in my office, so just come on in if you have any questions. As always, summarize your findings and have a formal report for me by the next class. Feel free to wrap up when you've had enough."
Within a few minutes, Slughorn had gone into his office and shut the door, and Lily and Severus had set-up their workstations at their usual desks. Lily was excited about this project, but this particular lesson was going to drag on in an unusual silence. After only ten minutes, Lily was already thinking about going to Slughorn with an excuse of not feeling well and continuing her work alone tomorrow when Severus spoke.
"You know, he says 'our first step' when we're the ones doing the grunt work," Severus said, the hint of a chuckle in his voice.
Lily grinned. "And you're surprised?" She glanced up and met Severus' eyes before they both hastily looked away.
Great, like it needs to be anymore awkward, Lily thought with a sigh. She now wasn't sure what she wanted, either complete silence or amiable chit-chat, not an uncomfortable mix of both. However, she knew Severus had no interest in chatting with her and that that last comment was a slip.
An hour later, Lily was immersed in her work. She had a few Mandrake roots simmering with Blood-Replenishing Potion, trying to determine the roots' effects. She wasn't sure, but she thought she could smell the Draught of Living Death coming from Severus' cauldron. It was an interesting path to take, and she so badly wanted to inquire about his analysis and subsequent hypothesis.
The soft bubbling of their potions was the only sound breaking the stifling silence until Severus suddenly spoke again.
"So you're dating Elias Smith." It was not a question.
Lily's head shot up, but Severus was not looking at her, his eyes steadily on his cauldron. Although he was obviously thinking about last night, she didn't know what prompted him to ask and wasn't sure where he was planning on going with this, though she assumed that it wasn't going to be enjoyable.
"I don't see how that's any of your business," Lily finally replied.
"Oh, it's not," Severus agreed, with the same cool, indifferent tone. "I just didn't think he'd continue to pursue you after last year. He must have been really desperate to not be lonely."
Lily cursed as she dropped her ladle, and it clattered to the bottom of her cauldron. She glowered up at him, but Severus was still not looking her way; though, the sneer plastered across his face was undeniable.
"You can say whatever you want, Severus, but you won't get a rise out of me," she said, trying to remain detached, but she knew she wouldn't be able to convince him of all people.
"Your ruined potion would beg differ," Severus replied smoothly.
Lily cursed quietly again because Severus was right. Without her spoon, she couldn't continue with the proper amount of stirs, and the potion had hardened into a useless, concrete-like fusion as a result. She threw the rest of her ingredients into the pot in frustration before whipping out her wand and vanishing it all away.
She then looked over at Severus, and this time he was finally looking at her, satisfaction written all over his face. She glared at him again, hating that he was still able to get under her skin, but she wasn't going to let him get away with it this time; she could play this stupid little game too.
"Yes," Lily began acidly, slowly walking over to him. She was happy to see his sneer falter a little and his eyes grow wide.
"If you must know, I am seeing Elias and am having a great time with him. He respects me, appreciates me, and isn't ashamed of being seen with me or showing his interest in me…unlike some cowards I know." Severus' face went completely white, save for the spots of pink that appeared at his cheeks, and Lily knew she had touched a nerve.
He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off.
"Save your breath," Lily said, shaking her head. She was now standing less than a meter in front of him. "I already know what you are going to say: that I am just his whore, that he doesn't really care about me, that we're both just worthless Mudbloods who will meet the same dire fate. I don't care, Severus. I'd rather enjoy my time here with the people I care about and who care about me, than be a pureblood or even a half-blood trying to fit in with a group of people who ultimately could care less about who I really am. At the end of the day, I know my friends will be standing behind me when I need them the most, can you say the same about yours?
"You can pretend all you want, Severus, but I will always remember the real you, the shy boy who I met at ten-years-old. So go ahead and do whatever you need to feel like a bigger man, call me a slag, tell your 'friends' about all our private moments, how you were the first to deflower the 'ice queen,' as you said they like to call me. But just know that when night falls and the hand holding your dick is your own, I am with Elias and not regretting any part of it."
Severus' nostrils were flaring with anger, he was breathing heavily, and his black eyes were boring into her. If Lily didn't know him well and the fact that he wasn't a physically violent person, she would have been afraid of him hitting her in that moment. She gave him one last contemptuous look before turning and heading back to her desk. She began clearing her supplies and packing her bag, desperately wanting to see his expression right now, but keeping her eyes down.
When she finished up, she slung her bag across her body and made her way toward the classroom door. She was just reaching for the handle when Severus cleared his throat.
"Lily, wait."
Lily abruptly stopped and closed her eyes, willing herself not to give in. The words were said in the tone that had always torn down her walls and made her a little weak in the knees; the low, slightly pleading voice he used when apologizing or in other, more intimate situations. It always had the same effect.
"Don't bother apologizing, Severus," Lily said, not trusting herself to turn around and face him. "There really isn't anymore for us to say." They were the same words Lily had said during their summer encounter. She thought things would be over then, but she should have known better that letting him go was not going to be easy.
"But there is," Severus said, his tone a little more desperate now. Lily could hear him walking toward her and knew she needed to leave right now before she did something she would regret later.
"I need you now more than ever."
"But what about when I needed you?" Lily whispered, slowly turning to face him. The Severus that stood before her was not the same from just a few minutes ago; the difference was startling, and it was in this moment that Lily realized the severity of his transformation and how quickly he could mask his true self. "All those times last year when I needed your friendship and you so cruelly turned me away."
Lily saw him swallow hard. His voice tight and choked, he said, "Last year was not…if I could take it back, Lily, I would give anything."
"You can't have it both ways, Severus," Lily said shakily, stuck somewhere between despair and resentment. She was falling; she had to leave. "You can't be my friend one day and betray me the next. You have to make your choice."
"So…so you're saying I still have time?"
Lily felt tears well in her eyes as she stared at him, but she eventually shook her head. "No, Severus, not anymore. Over the summer, I thought maybe…but not anymore. You chose your side, and now that he is out there, it's fixed more than ever. There is no need for us to pretend as if we can make this work, as friends or anything else. Your Lord and your friends would never allow it."
Severus' face was set again, and his voice went hard. "They do not rule over me; I am capable of making my own decisions."
"But you have yet to prove that."
They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Severus then took a step toward her, but Lily backed away shaking her head.
"Look," Lily said, hitching her bag up, "we obviously work well together in Potions and I want…I want to continue to study with you, but if you don't think we can act civil for only an hour a week, then I think we should talk to Slughorn about studying separately."
"I can control myself," he said sharply, and Lily noted that the walls had gone back up.
"We can't pretend anymore, Severus," Lily reminded him.
"I said I can control myself. It seems that you are the one that needs convincing."
Lily glared at him, the hostility between them returning at once. "And it seems that you need to keep an eye on your potion," she said caustically, jerking her head toward his cauldron. It was smoking and crackling with sparks as a result of Severus' neglect.
Severus turned and cursed, rushing back to his desk. Lily left the room without another word.
She hurried down the corridor until she reached the girls' loo and threw herself inside, thanking Merlin it was empty. She locked herself in a stall and sat on the seat lid, rubbing her hands harshly across her face and through her hair.
You were a fool to think it would be so easy, Lily chastised herself. Completely dropping a friend and first love of so many years was not going to be accomplished over a few months, and she obviously was not entirely over him. This incident was evidence of that.
And then she thought of Elias and her true intentions for seeing him. She meant everything she said about him to Severus, but was she just using Elias in a veiled attempt to heal after their fallout or did she actually care for him? She supposed it was a mix of both, but she wouldn't be able to move forward with Elias if she and Severus kept going back and forth.
As much as she didn't want to believe that Severus was in the same ranks as Mulciber and Dolohov, there was too much evidence against him now. She knew it was time to let go, she wanted to let go, but that little something deep down was going to make it a challenge for her.
A check of her watch told her it was five to 9:00, and she had patrols with Remus in five minutes. Sighing, Lily stood and walked out the stall, scowling at her appearance in the mirror. She splashed her face with cold water a couple of times until she felt refreshed.
A few minutes later she was back in the corridor and on her way to the common room. When she finally reached the seventh floor, she was stunned to see Elias waiting for her near the Fat Lady and inwardly groaned for not putting on any lipgloss or at least running a brush through her hair.
"Hey," he said as she reached him. He pulled her toward him and placed a light kiss on her lips. "Remus wasn't feeling well and asked me to cover for him. You don't mind, do you?"
"Of course not," Lily said, smiling brightly. She honestly wasn't too surprised that Remus had pulled out. He was looking pale and sickly again, and Lily was sure he was fighting another bout of whatever illness that periodically plagued him. It wasn't the first time he had missed patrols with her.
"Let me just drop off my bag, and I'll be right down."
Lily took off through the portrait hole and raced up the dormitory stairs. When she opened the door, she was greeted by Isabella, Keira, and Jane; the latter fixing her hair and makeup in her dresser mirror.
"Hey, girls," Lily said, throwing her bag on her bed and grabbing the brush on her bedside table. She felt eyes on her as she hastily pulled it through her hair while reaching for her makeup bag in the drawer. She turned to see Keira eying her with interest. "What?"
"I assume you're aware of Elias taking Remus' spot."
"Yeah, how did you know?" Lily asked as she applied a bit of blush to her cheeks.
"Remus told me he wasn't feeling well earlier in Ancient Runes, and he looked just terrible, worse than usual," Keira said. "Though I told him it was better to get through it now than having to battle it over Hogsmeade Saturday. He couldn't agree more."
Jane snickered, but didn't say anything.
"Just say whatever it is you need to say, Jane," Keira said in a bored voice.
Jane turned around and gave Keira a pathetic look. "Are you really that blind?"
Keira rolled her eyes. "And what exactly are you getting so dolled up for?" she asked, not taking Jane's bait, but Lily herself was intrigued. Jane might have been a little self-absorbed and artificial at times, but her observations were always spot on.
"Unlike you two," Jane began with a look to Keira and then Isabella, "I will not be sitting around this bedroom on a ripe Friday night. I have a date." She applied one last coat of gloss to her lips before pushing her boobs up and fluffing her hair.
"Who are you meeting up with?" Lily asked, giving herself one last look-over.
"You tell us what's going on with Elias, and I will tell you who I am seeing," Jane said with a smirk.
Lily grimaced; she didn't want to talk about it now and hated how Jane was always able to snake her way out of things.
"I thought so," Jane said with smug smile. She then made her way toward the door. "Goodnight, ladies. Don't be surprised if I don't make it back before morning."
"Slag," Keira muttered.
"Jealous," Jane countered, blowing a kiss Keira's way and shutting the door.
"Is there anything going on with you and Elias?" Keira asked after a quiet moment, looking a little hurt. Lily immediately felt guilty.
"A little," Lily mumbled. "And I promise I will tell you all about it in the morning; I'm late for patrols."
"Okay," Keira said sourly. "I'll just hang out with Isabella—"
But she was cut off as she looked at their roommate who had remained silent for the past ten minutes. Lily glanced over too as she made her way toward the door. Isabella was asleep, still fully dressed and lying with her head at the foot of the bed.
"Not surprising," Lily sighed. "I don't think she's been sleeping well."
"We have to do something," Keira said, already at Isabella's side and removing her shoes.
Lily shook her head. "Not yet; let's give her a few more days. I'll see you in the morning."
Keira pouted a little. "You're not coming back right after you're done?"
Lily smiled slyly before shutting the door behind her.
Saturday morning rain was falling, and Isabella listened to the light storm from the warm confines of her bed. Although she could hear her roommates waking up and beginning the day, she decided to wait until they left before getting up, just as she had been doing for the past couple of weeks.
She was happy for the Gryffindor Quidditch match against Ravenclaw today because it meant the common room would be empty, allowing her to be alone. Isabella had been overwhelmed at the frenzy that consumed every student during last week's Quidditch match when Hufflepuff flattened Slytherin…or was it the other way around? She honestly couldn't remember and didn't really care. All she knew was that she could easily go a few months without experiencing another game.
Ever since her run-in with Dolohov and his friends, Isabella had been consumed with homesickness for the first time since moving here. So many intense emotions had welled up inside her, and she felt so lost having no one to talk to.
True, her roommates, Lily and Keira in particular, were a wonderful group of girls, but she had only known them for a couple of months. They were not aware of the issues she needed to talk about, and Isabella wasn't sure if she was comfortable enough to share them.
Lana and Jasmine were a world away. Even if she took the time to explain everything in a letter, she wouldn't get a response for at least a couple of weeks. Besides, Amelia had just returned from her last trip to the States, and Isabella knew she was exhausted.
Writing to her father was completely out of the question—he already had enough to deal with, and Isabella wasn't ready to confront him after their last talk. Besides, if the Daily Prophet had been any indication, her father had been working double-time.
However, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of irritation towards him. Although she understood his reasoning for moving them here, she had to wonder if he had really thought about the repercussions of putting them in the middle of a very dangerous war. Derrick had assured her that Hogwarts was the safest place for her to be, but she had been threatened twice within just a few weeks.
And then there was Sirius. She was grateful for him coming to her assistance, but she wasn't sure how much he had heard and was simply embarrassed about the whole situation. Although they still sat next to each other during Arithmancy, they did not speak, and at other times, she went out of her way to avoid him…and everyone else for that matter, retreating to where she was now: staring at the small group of pictures of herself with her mother, father, Lana, and Jasmine on her bedside table through a small gap in her bed curtains and longingly reminiscing about her life back in America.
"Isabella?"
She swiftly shut her eyes, but a hand was already pulling back her hangings.
"We know you're not asleep."
Isabella let out an annoyed sigh and opened her eyes. Lily and Keira were standing there, fully dressed and looking worried.
"What's been going on?" Lily asked tentatively. She had asked Isabella this question many times over the past few days but hadn't been answered once.
"It's noth—"
"And don't say it's nothing!" Keira interjected angrily.
Lily gave her an anxious look, but Keira took no notice of it and continued.
"Sirius has been approaching us a lot lately, asking if you were okay, but we couldn't really say, seeing as how you've been avoiding us for no reason."
Sirius is worried about me? Isabella thought, feeling slightly lighter, but immediately felt guilty and looked away from them.
"Yeah," Lily began, sounding more confident, "he told us that you were harassed by Dolohov and his friends again. Why didn't you tell us?"
Isabella felt her throat constrict unexpectedly. "It's just personal. I…I didn't want to bother you."
Keira stepped closer as Lily sat on Isabella's bed next to her.
"Look, we know you haven't known us that long, and your business is yours to keep, but we also know that this has probably been a difficult time in your life. We're not looking to replace Lana and Jasmine, but we're here if you need anyone to talk to."
"Yeah, I mean we're going to be roommates for the next two years," Keira said. "You're going to have to befriend us at some point."
Isabella looked up to see Keira grinning; she returned her own small smile. She knew they were right—how long was she expecting to wallow in this misery? She then thought about her mom, and how she would react to her daughter giving into intimidation and fear. Her parents had taught her too well to let someone else dictate the quality of her life.
"So get up!" Lily said brightly while pulling Isabella from the bed as she stood up. "The sun is breaking through, and we have a Quidditch match to get to!"
Isabella groaned as she gained her balance.
"Yeah, yeah, we know you don't care who wins, but you have to admit that the energy in air is absolutely exhilarating!"
Isabella looked at Keira and rolled her eyes as she walked to the bathroom.
"And the after parties are always fun!"
Twenty minutes later, Isabella walked out freshly groomed and ready for the day. They all wrapped themselves in their raincoats and scarves and headed downstairs, where they were joined by Jane, who had been chatting with some seventh year friends.
"Good to see that you've rejoined the living, Isabella," Jane said with a mocking grin.
"Yeah, thanks," Isabella replied dully.
Breakfast passed quickly, with the Great Hall full of excitement and chatter. When the teams left, the rest of the students soon followed, and Isabella was swept into the whipping wind and light drizzle, which had returned.
"So, what is going on between you and Elias?" Isabella asked Lily as they settled into their seats. She had heard some of what Lily told Keira last week while in that twilight stage between being asleep and awake.
Lily grinned. "So you don't talk to us for a couple of weeks and you think you're going to get gossip right away?"
"Oh, like you aren't dying to tell her!" Keira scoffed; Jane laughed and nodded in agreement.
Lily ignored them. "There is a little something going on with me and Elias. We are going to Hogsmeade together next Saturday."
"'A little something?' That's not enough. I want details," Isabella said sternly.
"Not giving them to you now; nope, don't think so," Lily said, shaking her head. "You'll have to work for them."
"Isn't me being at this match enough?" Isabella whined.
"You girls are maddening!" Jane shouted just as the teams came onto the field and the crowd erupted in cheers. "Isabella, Lily and Elias are dating even though Lily tries to deny it; they make-out and cuddle and grope each other all over the castle at any chance they get."
Lily glared daggers at Jane and opened her mouth to respond, but the latter cut her off.
"And don't act as if you're so offended. No one around heard me, and even if they did, you're sixteen-years-old. Having a good snog every now and then isn't a big deal," Jane said firmly.
Isabella tried not to laugh at Lily's new expression, somewhere between a gulping fish and McGonagall's signature angry, pursed-lip scowl. Jane was right, Lily was unnecessarily keeping this Elias thing a secret when people were going to find out eventually, but she could understand Lily not wanting all of her business out there. Knowing they were dating was one thing, groping each other throughout the school was another.
"You're not really groping each other all over the castle, are you?" Isabella then asked, still trying not to laugh.
"No!" Lily yelled. She then smiled smugly. "We have a secret place for all of that."
The four of them burst into laughter. The whistle sounded from the pitch below, and the players took off into the dreary weather.
It was only thirty minutes later when the Gryffindor team was being carried on the shoulders of their housemates back to the castle. James had coached his first game as captain to a fast and very lopsided victory, 220 points to 50, and even though Isabella hadn't paid much attention to the game, she couldn't help but be impressed.
Isabella looked at her watch; it was just after 11:30. "So there is going to be an after party now?"
"No, not yet," Keira said. "It's going to take the boys some time to get the supplies."
"What boys?"
"Those boys," Keira said, pointing in the direction of James, who was being carried by the two beaters, Peter, who was jumping and cheering wildly behind him, and Sirius and Remus, who hung back a little and looked as if they were having a hushed conversation.
"Oh," Isabella said, feeling foolish. "And what supplies?"
"You'll see," Keira said with a mischievous grin.
"Let's take a walk around the lake until then?" Lily suggested, looking up to the sky. The sun was currently peeking out behind from the storm clouds again.
"Sounds good to me," Keira said. She then looked over to Jane. "You coming with us?"
"Uh...what?" Jane asked distractedly. She had not been paying attention to them but was looking over at the crowd of sullen Ravenclaws with an anxious expression.
"Oh, the lake!" she then shouted unexpectedly. "No, no I think I need to pass this time and go cheer up a dear friend," she added, still scanning the Ravenclaws. A wide grin then spread across her face. "Found him. See you girls later," she said, and departed without a look back.
"Ah, so now we know the bloke she was with the other night is a Ravenclaw," Lily said, looking amused as she watched Jane disappear.
"Who says it's the same bloke?" Keira muttered darkly.
Lily looked thoughtful for a second and then frowned. "Good point."
Soon they were at the lake, deciding whether to sit and relax or take a brisk walk. Being that it was still very cold, they choose the latter.
"So...what exactly made you close yourself off these past few weeks?" Keira asked hesitantly after a few minutes of mindless chatter.
Isabella felt her stomach tighten a little. She was hoping to start off with more fluff about Lily and Elias, but they were obviously more worried about her. She thought for a minute, wondering if she wanted to get into this with them.
You brushed them off, and look, they are still here wanting to listen and willing to provide support, her conscience told her, and Isabella knew it had a point.
Lily and Keira were going to be the ones she would have to turn to for the next couple of years and maybe beyond. She had no reason not to trust them and was so thankful she had been able to make a true connection with them from the start.
Isabella took in a deep breath. "Well, it has to do with my mother, Voldemort, and why he killed her."
Lily and Keira both gasped and looked fearful.
"Voldemort killed you mother?" Keira asked and a quiet voice. "But I thought it was—but the Prophet made it seem like..."
"Yeah, and that is what I believed as well, but after being confronted by Dolohov that day the article about the Dark Mark came out, I learned the truth."
Keira and Lily listened attentively as Isabella recounted a shortened version her life, starting with her family, Lana and Jasmine, Garret, life at Morgana, and the whirlwind her life had been since her mother's death. They were a great audience—gasping in alarm, sputtering in anger, and providing words of sympathy in all the right places.
Isabella began to feel lighter as she talked on, grateful to get it off her chest. She now had new friends—compassionate, selfless, and faithful friends—who she could turn to when in need and to whom she would return the same support. She promised herself she would never again allow herself to carry such a heavy burden on her own and knew she would never have to.
A couple of hours later after lunch, the after party was in full swing. Isabella was shocked to find the common room full of cakes and pastries she had not seen since the Start of the Year Feast and still more that she had never seen during her short time at Hogwarts. Unashamedly, she grabbed a plate and started piling on cauldron cakes and pumpkin pasties.
"And what is this?" Isabella asked, grabbing a warm bottle of what looked like a lighter version of rootbeer from a large bucket.
"That's butterbeer," Keira answered thickly through a mouthful of treacle tart. "They only serve it here during special events, like balls, but there hasn't been one since we've been students."
"Then how did it get here?" Isabella questioned, uncorking a bottle and taking an inquisitive sniff. She drank a little and immediately felt a warming and relaxing sensation throughout her entire body.
"That's the mystery of it all," Lily said, popping a few chocolate buttons into her mouth. "Ever since fourth year, the boys have showed up to Gryffindor parties with all this stuff. The pastries and juice are from the kitchens, and it isn't difficult to convince the house-elves to give you what you want. But the other stuff—the butterbeer, the chocolate bars and candy, and the, uh, harder drinks—have to come from somewhere off school grounds, especially in such large quantities and at short notice."
"They know how to sneak off the grounds," Keira said in reply to Isabella's puzzled expression. "Even without the heightened security, the front gates won't open for anyone except professors or at special times like Hogsmeade weekends."
Lily rolled her eyes. "They claim they know how to sneak off."
"But they do know," said Jane, who had just joined them and was holding a tumbler filled with a dark amber liquid. "I've been off with Sirius plenty of times."
"I bet," Keira said smartly.
"I've been trying to think of ways to get them in trouble for it ever since," Lily said, unwrapping a chocolate bar, "especially now because it's so dangerous, but there is no proof."
"And yet," came a new voice, "you continue to enjoy the fruits of our rule-breaking. I hate to say it, Moony, but little Miss Prefect here is a hypocrite."
The girls turned around to see Sirius and Remus approaching them, with Sirius looking smug and Remus looking somewhat apologetic. They both had not so furtively hidden flasks shoved into the front pockets of their trousers.
Lily blushed a little, and so did Isabella, happy that hers was not as discernible. It was the first time that she had looked at Sirius straight on since the Dolohov incident, and he was just as handsome as ever. She felt like a silly ten-year-old girl the way this stupid crush was hitting her so hard.
"Well, I might as well enjoy it if it's here," Lily said defiantly, but Isabella thought it fell a little flat.
Sirius shook his head. "Not good enough of an excuse, love. So either back away from the food or enjoy and stop with the threats."
Lily quaffed the rest of her butterbeer, glaring at Sirius all the while.
"Nice one, Evans. Have you been practicing since that night? Hopefully not with vodka, for your sake, mostly Isabella's, though," he said, winking at her. Isabella felt her stomach do a backflip and found it difficult to keep her face impassive.
"Um, what night?" Keira asked, looking from Lily to Isabella.
Lily groaned. "Thanks, Black."
"What?" he asked innocently, though his grin betrayed him. "So you had some vodka with me and Prongs, no big deal."
"What!" Jane shrieked, her face full of rage.
Lily and Isabella shared an annoyed look. They had never told Keira or Jane about that night because, simply, there was nothing to tell. Or at least they thought so. Sirius and James had obviously told their friends about it because Remus had a knowing look on his face.
"Isabella and I couldn't sleep the night of the Diagon Alley attack, so we came downstairs make some dreamless sleep draught," Lily said in an off-handed tone. "Potter and Black were already down here, drowning their sorrows in a bottle of vodka. I was too tired to make the potion, so they offered and we had some so we could get to sleep fast. It wasn't a big deal."
"Then if it wasn't a big deal, why didn't you tell us?" Keira asked, looking offended.
Lily rolled her eyes in frustration. "For that very reason; it wasn't a big deal."
"Yeah, but very un-Lily-like," Jane said derisively. "Isabella, on the other hand, I didn't know you were such a lush." Isabella shot her a dirty look.
"First Elias and now this? What else are you keeping from me, Lily?" Keira snapped unexpectedly, throwing her hands in the air. "You've been very secretive and not acting like yourself at all lately, and I don't like it."
Everyone looked to Lily, who herself looked alarmed. "Keira, calm down. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. You're acting like Jane."
Keira bristled but remained quiet, sat back into her chair, and sipped her butterbeer. Every now and then, she scowled at Isabella and Lily.
"Girls," Sirius muttered; Remus shook his head, trying not to smile.
"Is there anything specific you needed with us?" Lily asked sharply after a short pause. Jane looked indignantly at her.
"Well yes, actually, Remus here—" Sirius stopped and shared a look Remus "—actually, I wanted to talk to Isabella." He took a couple of steps toward her and smiled sincerely; Isabella thought she might melt right there. "Good to see you back to normal."
"Yeah—I, well…thanks?" Isabella stammered in a tinkling voice that did not belong to her. She groaned inwardly and wished she could slap some sense into herself.
"So no more run-ins with Dolohov I take it?"
Isabella shook her head. "No, none."
"Good," Sirius said.
Isabella wasn't sure if he had taken a step closer, but she could now smell the liquor on his breath. It was something different; she didn't recognize the scent.
"What is that you're drinking?" she asked, pointing his pocket. Her voice sounded more breathy than usual, and she wanted to kick herself as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
Sirius looked startled for only a second before his face settled into a pleased grin. "It's my new favorite, a well-aged Cognac."
Isabella inhaled deeply, feeling a little tingly. "And is that…chocolate?"
"Yep, it's a special blend. Do you want to try some?" Sirius asked, pulling the flask from his pocket. He unscrewed the cap and handed it to her. She took it, but the scent this time was too strong and knocked her out of her stupor.
She glanced around to see the others staring at them. It was then she realized she and Sirius were standing less than a foot apart and leaning slightly into each other. Embarrassment burned throughout her as she hastily took a step back. At least Sirius most likely had the excuse of being drunk; she was just stupidly smitten.
"Uh, no thanks, I'm fine," Isabella said, trying to keep her voice even. She then held up her bottle of butterbeer. "I'll stick to this for now."
"Alright, but if you want to try something new…" Sirius said temptingly.
"Can I try some?"
Isabella turned to see Jane looking eagerly at Sirius.
"Yeah, sure," Sirius said dully, tossing the flask her way. "Just keep it." He then turned to Remus. "Uh, let's head back, Moony."
"Sure. You ladies enjoy the party," Remus said, nodding to them all. They were his first words since the boys approached, and Isabella wondered what his true reason for coming was.
As soon as the boys had turned and left, Keira rounded on her.
"What was that?" Keira demanded quietly, a huge grin across her face.
Isabella noted that her annoyance from before must have dissipated. Lily was grinning too, but Jane was glowering at her, clutching Sirius' flask as if it were a life vest.
"What was what?" Isabella asked nonchalantly.
"That—that little moment you just had with Sirius," Keira said suspiciously.
"Yeah, that lean in," Lily added.
"I don't know what you're talking about, but whatever you're thinking, it's nothing," Isabella pressed, not looking at any of them.
Keira studied Isabella for a minute. "You fancy him," Keira said, giggling when Isabella looked furious. She turned to Lily. "Do you think so?"
Lily nodded. "Mm-hmm, definitely."
"You two are officially crazy," Isabella said, shaking her head. "I don't know Sirius at all. I do not like him."
"Oh, ok," Keira said skeptically. "But admit that you're at least attracted to him."
Isabella narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Lily said while grabbing another bottle of butterbeer. "Most girls have fallen for his charm at one time or another, even Keira here during fourth year."
Keira looked outraged. "That is not true!"
"So you and Sirius were discussing that day's Summoning charm lesson in that broom closet, were you then?"
"So we had a little snog," Keira said dismissively, but her blushing cheeks betrayed her. "He really is a superb kisser though, Isabella," she added suggestively.
Isabella tried not to smile and shook her head.
"Oh, come on, just admit it," Lily said. "It isn't a big deal to admit you've got a crush. You would just join the majority of the female population at Hogwarts, so you know, not too much competition."
Isabella's insides deflated slightly, but she rolled her eyes. Today seemed to be the day where the truth was prevailing, after all.
"It's not like I'm looking to go out with him but fine—I am attracted to Sirius." She crossed her arms and gave Keira and Lily exasperated looks. "Happy now?"
"Yes," Keira and Lily said together before being overcome with giggles. They stopped abruptly at the sound of a sharp bang. The three of them looked towards Jane, who had just slammed Sirius' flask on the table. Her pursed lips and the small drop of brown liquid running down her chin indicated that she had just downed its contents. She was looking murderous between the three of them.
"Jane, before you even start—" Lily was cut off as Jane tersely stood and stalked away.
"Well, looks like Jane is going to be your main competition," Keira said indifferently.
"But I thought she was seeing that Ravenclaw guy?" Isabella asked, not wanting to cause a rift when things were going smoothly again.
Lily and Keira shared a knowing look.
"For Jane, when it comes to Sirius, no other guy matters," Lily said finally.
"Yeah," Keira added, "she would do anything to have another go with him."
Wednesday was always Isabella's least favorite and longest day. Double Transfiguration, Arithmancy, and Defense Against the Dark Arts back to back was definitely among the worst schedules ever, specially since it was an all theory day.
Transfiguration had always been one of Isabella strongest subjects, but today it was a struggle to get through. Not that the content was hard, but she was just plain tired.
'Rejoining the living,' as Jane had put it, added so much to her day. Eating, studying, and the times spent in the dormitory after waking up and before bed now took double the time since there was always intermittent gossip breaks. On top of that, the homework load had seemed to triple in the past week alone, and they were all drowning in endless essays and problem sets.
Specifically for Isabella, there was the Sirius problem. Nothing had happened between them since the Quidditch after party, but Isabella had been putting a lot of energy into remaining impassive when near him.
They had resumed greeting each other in Arithmancy, but there was nothing beyond that, which made Jane's constant glares and grumblings toward her inexplicable. According to Lily, Isabella was just one of countless girls who admired Sirius, but Jane was acting as if she and Sirius were planning their wedding.
With everything going on, Isabella barely had time to appreciate the Hogsmeade Saturday coming up in just three days. She was excited to see how it compared to Brentwood, where the Morgana and Merlin students spent one weekend a month. However, Brentwood was more like Diagon Alley in that it was all Muggle with a secret entrance to the Wizarding marketplace. When she learned that Hogsmeade was an all-wizard settlement, she was immediately intrigued.
"If I hear one more peep out of you, Pettigrew, you will spend Saturday in detention!" McGonagall shouted, snapping Isabella out of her daze.
"Sorry, Professor, I—"
"Quiet and pay attention," McGonagall said, glaring at him one more time before turning her attention back to the class. "Now, as I was saying, Conjuring spells are some of the more common advanced—"
She was cut off by a loud crack and sudden burst of flame in mid-air just a meter away from her.
"Merlin, Albus, I swear," muttered McGonagall under her breath as she grabbed the piece of parchment that fell from the dissipating smoke. A few students closer to the front snickered.
The whole class watched as McGonagall read the parchment, her frown deepening as she progressed. At the end, she balled the paper in her fist and closed her eyes, and Isabella knew something must be wrong. When McGonagall's eyes opened, she immediately looked to Isabella, and the latter felt her stomach drop.
McGonagall walked briskly toward the desk she shared with Lily and Jane and bent down close to Isabella, the entire class shamelessly watching,
"Miss Williams, the Headmaster would like to see you," McGonagall whispered.
"Do you know why, Professor?"
"The Headmaster will be able to give you all the information you need," McGonagall said hastily.
Isabella nodded. She quickly packed her bag and stood, a thought coming to her suddenly. She had a vague idea of where Dumbledore's office was from her visit this past summer and could probably find it on her own, but she didn't want to wander the corridors alone.
"Uh, Professor?" Isabella began as McGonagall made her back to the front of the classroom. "I don't know where—"
"Miss Evans, will you please escort Miss Williams?"
"Of course, Professor," Lily said politely, standing at once.
Once out of the classroom, they walked quietly for a few moments. Isabella's mind was racing, trying not to immediately think the worst, but McGonagall's face when she reached the bottom of that note was not comforting.
"What do you think is going on?" Lily asked in a hushed voice.
Isabella shrugged. "I have no idea. Anything is possible nowadays, isn't it? How often are students called out of class to see the Headmaster?"
Lily shook her head and bit her lip. "Honestly, this is the first occurrence I can think of."
Sooner than when Isabella expected, Lily stopped in front of a large stone gargoyle.
"Ice mice," Lily said clearly, and the gargoyle moved to reveal the entrance. She then turned to Isabella and gave her a quick hug. "I know everything will be okay."
"Thanks," Isabella sighed.
"And if it's not—"
"I promise I won't close up like last time."
"Good," Lily said with a small smile. "See you soon."
Isabella let out a sigh before stepping onto the moving staircase. After a slow ride, she raised her hand, but the door opened before she could knock.
"Good morning, Miss Williams, please come in," Dumbledore greeted, standing next to the door.
"Hello, Headmaster," she replied in a quiet voice and took a seat in the armchair in front of his desk.
His office had not changed since she last time she visited. The small tables were still covered with silver trinkets and instruments of all sizes. The portraits of past headmasters on the walls were intently watching her, and she instantly felt uncomfortable.
On Dumbledore's desk were numerous copies of the Daily Prophet, Fawkes, who was sleeping soundly on his perch, and a large ceramic bowl with cryptic engravings around its outside that Isabella recognized as a Pensieve, as her father had one. She marveled at what could possibly be stored in Dumbledore's Pensieve, as much life as he had seen; he was reported to be anywhere between 100 and 130 years old.
"Miss Williams, I bet you are wondering why I called you here," Dumbledore said, breaking into her thoughts as he sat behind the desk.
Isabella nodded but remained silent. She didn't want to waste time guessing.
Dumbledore cleared his throat, leaned forward, and clasped his hands on the desk. Isabella didn't like this formal gesture and started to prepare herself.
"I am afraid that I have some bad news," Dumbledore finally said, quietly but clearly, "regarding your father."
Isabella clenched her jaw and balled her fists but still did not say anything. She didn't want to go hysterical in front of him.
"I assume that you have been keeping up with the news through the Prophet," Dumbledore said, and Isabella nodded. "Yes, well as thorough as it tries to be, there are some things that the Ministry requests that they keep quiet on, things that would compromise the Ministry's battle against Voldemort.
"A couple of weeks ago, the Aurors and HitWizards were ambushed at a raid. Not much was thought of this within the offices; most people thought it was just a coincidence," Dumbledore said with a slight edge.
"Last night, however, a smaller group was ambushed again while...well, I don't need to go into the details with you." He then sighed and looked directly at Isabella. "It was a bad scene, worse than last time. Your father was badly injured."
Isabella continued to stare, her face unchanged. She knew this couldn't be the end of it. "How badly?"
"I am not aware of the exact curses that hit him, but he is presently unconscious."
Isabella started and let out a small sob. "Unconscious?"
"Yes, Miss Williams."
"Can I visit him?" Isabella asked in a strangled voice, her mind already set and her gaze drifting to Dumbledore's fireplace behind his left shoulder.
He sighed and Isabella saw the calm expression he had been wearing sag a little.
"No, you cannot," Dumbledore said soberly.
"Excuse me?" Isabella asked sharply, forgetting to whom she was talking.
"I'm sorry, Miss Williams, but you cannot visit your father," Dumbledore repeated.
"But—"
"Derrick is not at St. Mungo's, as I assume you are thinking."
"Where is he then?"
"I cannot divulge that information to you."
Isabella looked gob-smacked. "Are you serious, sir?"
"I know it sounds ridiculous to you, but the integrity of the Ministry is severely compromised right now. Voldemort has spies working too close to the Aurors and HitWizards, closer than what we originally believed. Two attacks in a row are too much of a coincidence. You're father and the other injured are being treated by Healers and MediWizards handpicked by myself in a highly secured stronghold. We cannot afford their whereabouts falling into the wrong hands again."
"Okay, I understand that," Isabella said slowly, trying to keep herself calm. "But that doesn't answer why I cannot see him."
"I'm afraid it does," Dumbledore said. "The traffic in and out of their location is being tightly controlled, and I had to make the very difficult decision for that to include family, who are the most susceptible targets for capture to be used as ransom."
"Don't I know it," Isabella grumbled under her breath. "But that shouldn't matter in this situation. I will come back here after visiting him, and Voldemort or his Death Eaters won't be able to get to me."
"Oh, I agree," Dumbledore said briskly, "but protocol is protocol, and I cannot break it, even for you."
"But, but what if..." Isabella's voice trailed off as she suddenly became overwhelmed. Her father was unconscious, and she couldn't see him for the most absurd reason. What if he never regained consciousness? Her mind went back to their last interaction, and her eyes filled with guilty tears. She had been so angry with him and had not been able to settle things with him since then.
"Miss Williams, I know it may seem unfair—"
"It is unfair!" Isabella interrupted, the tears now falling. "What if he never wakes up and I never…" The idea was too devastating to consider, and she openly cried, wishing she were hidden away behind her bed curtains and not sitting before the Headmaster.
After a few minutes, she collected herself and looked at Dumbledore, who was frowning.
"I promise you that as soon as he wakes up, you will be allowed to see him."
"But you can't promise me that he will even wake up!" Isabella nearly shouted.
Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed, I cannot, but I know your father will fight through this. He will do all he can to come back to you," he said in a strong, soothing voice.
Isabella remained silent as tears consumed her again; she hid her face behind her hands and tried to calm down.
"Miss Williams," he said after a short silence, "I am telling you this now because I thought you deserved to be forewarned. The Prophet will be running this story tomorrow morning despite reprimand from the Ministry. The paper's staff is having a great time of creating hysteria, and it refuses to keep quiet anymore of what it considers incompetence on the Ministry's part."
Isabella nodded in understanding.
"I apologize, Miss Williams, for my part in your anger and distress, but I promise to keep you abreast of all new information. And the moment he wakes up, I personally will escort you to see him."
"Okay," Isabella said stiffly.
"And if you have no questions for me, I must take my leave. I am due for an urgent meeting." Dumbledore then stood, and Isabella did the same. "I understand if this news is a lot to digest for you. It is for that reason that I am excusing you from classes for the rest of the day, if you wish."
"Thank you, Headmaster," Isabella said, her voice still flat. She was barely on the staircase when she heard his office door close.
When back in the corridor, Isabella felt lost. She didn't know what she wanted to do—lying in bed all day didn't sound appealing because she knew she would be consumed with thoughts of her father. Going to class as usual would be a distraction but not the kind she was looking for, especially on her worst day. She looked at her watch and saw that Transfiguration had ended fifteen minutes ago and that she was due in Arithmancy.
Ugh, definitely not going to class, she thought crossly.
What Isabella really wanted and needed was to just get away. She had been confined to the castle and grounds for two months and was due for a break. At Morgana, they would have been at least two trips to Brentwood already. She knew Hogsmeade was only three days away, but she needed an out now. If Dumbledore's words were true, everyone would know about her father's state tomorrow morning, and she was sure to be bombarded with prying questions. She needed to have at least one day to herself.
Isabella began walking toward the common room, still unsure of what to do. She had reached the seventh floor when it suddenly hit her; there was a way to get the outing she wanted, and she headed back down the main staircase to the fourth floor.
A few minutes later, Isabella was opening the door to the Arithmancy classroom, hoping her plan would work. Professor Thorpe stopped mid-sentence when Isabella slowly walked into the classroom; she only nodded solemnly before continuing her lecture, and Isabella knew that Dumbledore must have already informed all of her professors.
The small number of students watched her intently as she took her seat next to Sirius, who was just as determinedly trying not to look so interested. Once seated, she took out her parchment and quill, intending to create enough pretense to quell the attention. It took only a couple of minutes before people lost interest and returned to their own work.
Now for the hard part, Isabella thought, hoping she would be able to keep her cool. She glanced over at Sirius, who was taking comprehensive notes, and she smiled at this. In all of their other classes, he and James put up a façade that they didn't need to bother with such a triviality.
She steeled herself and turned to face him. "Sirius?" she whispered.
"Yeah?" He kept his eyes down and continued writing.
"Can you do me a favor?"
Sirius set his quill down and looked up at her, his expression cautious. "A favor?"
"Yeah, a favor," Isabella said quietly, starting to feel weak as his grey eyes bored into her.
"Let's hear it."
"Well, I know that you probably keep it a secret for obvious reasons," Isabella said hesitantly, "but I was wondering if you could tell me how to get to Hogsmeade."
Sirius' eyes narrowed. "You want to go to Hogsmeade? Today?" he asked, a little doubtfully. "You know there is a trip on Saturday, right?"
"Yes," Isabella whispered, "but I really need to get away today."
Sirius was silent for a moment, and Isabella now started to feel uncomfortable under his stare.
"Does this have something to do with why you were called out of Transfiguration?"
"Yes," Isabella said swiftly, trying not to think about it.
"Okay...I'll help you out," he said slowly after another pause. "I assume that you can leave without any explanation, so why don't you head to the common room, and I'll meet you there in ten minutes or so."
"But how are you—"
"Don't worry about it," Sirius cut across her quickly. "Just go."
Isabella smiled widely despite herself. "Thank you," she whispered sincerely before packing her bag and leaving the room.
Her mind raced as she nearly ran to the common room, praying that her roommates, who all had a break right now, were in the dormitory so she could leave without question. She wished Sirius had just told her what to do back in the classroom, so she could avoid the common room altogether but figured he must have had his reasons.
"Flitterbloom," Isabella said when she reached the Fat Lady and climbed through the portrait hole.
After a cursory glance of the room, Isabella breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her roommates were not around. In fact, there was hardly anyone there, just a few seventh years whose names she wasn't sure of.
She dropped her bag in a dark corner and took a seat at the table closest to the entrance, thinking about her father. The thought of him being in such a frail and helpless state was unfathomable.
Only a short time had passed when she heard the portrait creak open. She stood instantly, and her stomach filled with butterflies when Sirius entered. When he found her, he smiled but kept walking toward the boys' dormitories and disappeared up the stairs. Before Isabella could find a logical reason, he was already descending the staircase with a silver cloak and ratty piece of parchment.
He stopped in front of her and grinned. "Alright, let's get going."
Isabella gaped at him. "Uh, 'let's?' What do you mean?"
"You really don't think I'm going to let you sneak to Hogsmeade on your own, do you?"
"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself," Isabella said bitingly, her mood changing at once.
"I don't doubt that," Sirius said obligingly, and Isabella knew he was humoring her. "But the thing is that you are sneaking off to Hogsmeade during a weekday, which has a lot more complications than you think. Number one, you don't know your way around the castle that well and wouldn't be able to find the entrance to the secret passage as efficiently as you need to. Number two, as you know, students are not allowed to leave the grounds unless expressly permitted, and the Hogsmeade residents know that. I know which shopkeepers can be trusted to let us enjoy a free day without contacting the school and snitching.
"And number three," he continued, suddenly dropping his gaze, "I simply cannot in good conscience let you roam outside the safety of the castle on your own. You are in a lot more danger than I think you realize, and…and I wouldn't be able to live it down if anything happened to you while out on my direction."
Isabella was speechless, stuck between admiration and defiance. "I don't need a babysitter," she said after the latter won out.
"I know you don't, but I would feel a lot better if I came with you," Sirius said earnestly. "Besides, I won't show you how to get there unless you agree."
Isabella crossed her arms and glared at Sirius, who was trying not to smile.
"But what if we get caught? I don't want you to get in trouble because of me."
Sirius laughed, a loud, deep bark-like laugh that made Isabella grin despite her irritation. "Trust me, we won't get caught."
Isabella remained silent as she vacillated between her choices, desperate to get away but not sure if she could spend a day alone with Sirius without making a fool of herself. She had dreamt about it, of course, but reality never lived up to dreams.
"Come on, Isabella, we only have a few minutes before class ends, and we won't be able to leave with packed corridors," Sirius said, breaking into her thoughts. A challenging smirk covered his features.
How can you say 'no' to that? Isabella asked herself, forcing herself to stop staring.
"Okay, okay," she relented. "You can come."
"Great," he beamed, gently grabbing her arm and pulling her toward the portrait hole. "Let's go."
Isabella sighed as she let him lead her, just wondering what the day would have in store.
