IN THE END
By: Chiki Yumeshisa
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…….all original ideas/characters are mine to claim. Linkin Park's song, IN THE END does not belong to me either. I just borrowed a few lines from the song, but it respectively belongs to them and in no way do I take credit for it.
AN: WAI! Chiki wa ureshii desu! (Twirls) I'm so happy to have gotten those wonderful reviews. I am pleased to know that so many people like this. And thus, here is the next chapter.
Warnings: Rated PG13 for mild swearing.
CHAPTER 7
- Wounds -
One thing, I don't know why, it doesn't even matter how hard you try…….
Kenji didn't go to school the next day.
Or the day after that.
His arm had swollen to the size of a bee hive – in my opinion of course – and even though he tried to deny it, I knew it was painful. He could hardly move the limb, so it was quite obvious. If I didn't know how to raise a kid, I definitely knew how to nurse wounds. And trying to pull the stitches out on one's own was not a smart thing to do while it was in the process of trying to heal. That much, I knew too.
I saw him trying to do that as I entered his bedroom that day, with an armload of his laundry that I was finished. He was lying on his bed, stretched out, a manga on his pillow. He was absently trying to pry the stitches out of his arm, which was red and puffy.
"Kenji!"
My shout made him jump, causing one of his legs to kick the blanket on his feet to the floor. He barely saved his manga from falling too, and he quickly shut it. He looked up at me with round eyes, trying his best to look innocent.
It wasn't the manga I was worried about though.
"What?" He asked.
I dropped the laundry onto his desk. "Don't do that, or else it will get infected more."
"But dad, it…..it's irritating." He whined, correcting himself quickly.
I shook my head. "That will come off when the doctor deems it good and ready to. Don't touch them again, or I'll tie your hands behind your back." I announced.
Making a face, he made it a point to spread his arms apart. "Let me see its condition." I reached over and snatched his wrist. He winced and I pulled my hand away in shock. He was burning hot. I felt his forehead. He was sick.
Cursing inwardly, I got up. "Damn it, you've got a fever."
That was not good on my part. I had taken the two days off work just because I was worried Kenji would do something stupid again when I was gone. I really didn't need to be called by anyone telling me he was in some sort of mess. I would save myself the trouble of running all over town just to keep up with my son.
"I'm fine." He mumbled, glancing down at the manga's cover.
I felt his forehead again. "No, you're not fine. I'll need ice and a cloth, along with something to bring that down. You put on a sweater: it's best to sweat it out."
He looked ready to complain, but in this, he knew he wouldn't win. So grumbling beneath his breath, something about me being an idiot, he went to his closet to pull out something to wear.
I came back with a Tylenol, a pack of ice and a cloth. I had him lie back, with his head raised a little, and made him as comfortable as I could. Then, I checked on his arm again and went to go retrieve the medication I had gotten for him.
Since we had been in such a heated situation that day, I had totally forgotten to get him the medication. But I had had my fair share of stitches and wounds, that I knew exactly what type of medicine to put on it, even without the doctor's prescription. He was already asleep by the time I started to apply it.
Dad walked by then, fixing the collar to his shirt. He poked his head in. "What's going on?" He asked. I guess he had heard my yelp.
"He's running a fever…." I said, worriedly.
He clucked his tongue thoughtfully. "Well, you should know what to do."
I nodded absently and he wandered off into the kitchen to make something to eat for dinner. I soon followed him, to see if he needed any help.
"You got a few phone calls today." He said, throwing in some chopped vegetables. Since he knew that Kenji hated snow peas, he put them in with a lavish hand. Even in that, Kenji would get no rest.
I pulled the sleeves to my light sweater up. "From who?" I asked.
"Well, Sano called and asked for you to call him back. Then someone by the name of Chou…..and finally someone named Kaiya."
"Kamiya." I corrected. I had expected as much. The water I had turned on, came out scalding and my fingers retracted from it. I popped them into my mouth to try and sooth the sting. "Kamiya Kaoru."
I saw my father raise his eyebrows. "Is that so?" he mused, mixing his concoction with a pair of very long chopsticks. "And who is she, pray tell?"
Poking into my business again, I thought. I guess life would never change. He would always do that when I was younger; asking me who every girl on the phone was and then teasing me mercilessly over each one. I got the same reaction from him again that day.
"She's Kenji's biology teacher at school." I supplied, grudgingly.
He whistled between this teeth at that. "A teacher? And your son's one at that! Are you really over…….." he stopped himself and poked me in the ribs with his elbow. "…….have you two been dating long?"
There went my face again as it turned a bright red color, matching my hair perfectly. My father guffawed like there was no tomorrow. I snatched the pot I had filled for the miso soup and brought it to the stove to heat. "No, Dad, we haven't been dating at all." I made sure to emphasize every word. "In fact, I haven't even been seeing her, let alone think about her."
Hiko smirked. "Well, you can stop grinning and blushing like an idiot." He had cornered me and suckered me into his lure.
I found myself scowling, trying furiously to keep the blush from spreading all the way to my ears. "What did she say?" I asked, attempting to change the subject.
He shrugged. "She wanted to know how Kenji was doing." He paused and then with a flourish, added, "And of course, she wants you to call her back too."
My effort to stop the blush failed miserably. I could only nod, like an idiot.
And if Chou called, then for sure I was in trouble at work. I know I had left in the middle of my shift the other day and then I had taken two days off, so it was to be expected. He was our administrator, with long dirty blond hair he liked to spike. He was a gangly man, who swore every second he could get and spoke in a weird Osakian accent. It was easy enough to understand and he was outgoing, but he could bare down on you like a hound dog if you weren't too careful.
Just as I was going to shoot back a reply, the phone rang and he nudged me to answer. So, wiping my hands clean on the back of my jeans, I wandered over to the telephone.
It was Kaoru again. "Hello, Himura-san!" She greeted, once I answered the telephone.
I shifted, glancing nervously at my father over my shoulder. He was grinning from ear to ear and I knew he had every intention to eavesdrop. "Yeah…." I sighed, leaning against the wall.
"What's wrong, you don't sound so good." She asked, worriedly.
"I'm fine. Is there something you want to talk about?" I didn't mean to sound so rude, but then again, there was something about her that just made me cringe.
She sounded a bit discouraged by my snap. "Um…..well, I was wondering how Kenji was doing…..and I wanted to apologize for……."
"There is nothing to apologize for." I interrupted quickly. Now, I felt bad. I hadn't exactly sounded grateful that she saved my kid's life. "I should be the one apologizing for my son's behavior…….and…..I wanted to thank you for helping him out….."
Now she sounded pleased as punch. "Ah…well, I….I'm glad he wasn't able to go through with it." There was a silence for a while before she muttered, "I was wondering….if I should drop Kenji's homework off at your house today, since we have a test and all next week. It wouldn't be a bother, really, since you guys live close by and since I know where you guys live and it is on the way and…."
"….That would be great and really appreciated." She had begun to ramble and for some reason, I could see her twisting the phone cord around her fingers nervously. If I didn't stop her, she probably would have continued stammering for a while. "Come on over any time you want." I paused, seeing my father's glare. "…..And," I added lamely, "if you want, you can stay for dinner……"
"I wouldn't want to intrude." She said, coyly. "But thank you very much for the offer."
When I didn't say anything more about the topic, she continued, "So I'll be there in a while, okay?"
"Yes, I'll see you then." I murmured, and we hung up the phone. It was awful of me just to brush her off like that, but at the moment, I wasn't up to meeting with girls or talking with them. I wasn't up to forgetting about Yuki just yet – the pain was still there, lingering, in a sad memory, the sting not yet quite gone.
Dad knew it, and yet…when I turned to shoot my anger at him, he shook his head. "Look, Kenshin, you've got to move on. It's not healthy……."
"I know that! Sano tells me that, you tell me that – everyone tells me that! Has it ever occurred to any of you that maybe I'm just not ready to move on? That I don't want to move on?" I pushed myself away from the wall.
He looked serious again and I knew another lecture was coming up. Yes, I was riling myself for nothing, but I just didn't like the way he was suddenly invading my personal space. "You need to go for a run, kid?" he asked.
I wound down a bit, and shook my head.
He began to set the table, the china ware clinked against each other as he set them down. "You've got to move on sooner or later. Besides, I was only joking: it is courteous to invite her for dinner since she most probably will arrive when you're eating it!" That much was true, but the other side to my worry was the fact that Hiko would most likely embarrass me throughout the dinner. I didn't need that.
Hiko's next words surprised me, "….and no matter how much you blame yourself, it's not true….."
Yes it was.
It was all my fault.
I suddenly couldn't breathe, and the room suddenly swam. I think I stumbled and my elbow must have hit something because it fell with a crash. I heard my father cry out and I felt his iron grip on my arm, pulling me away and flinging me harshly against the wall. I hit it with a soft thump, whatever air left inside my lungs flying out, rendering me unable to gather my wits.
These spells….I hated them. It brought back the memories…..and all I could see were white sheets suddenly. Then a pressure was on my shoulders. "It's not your fault….Kenshin!"
I blinked, and looked up. The blurry figure in front of me melted into the face of my father. He looked a bit upset but worry was more evident in his eyes. He was shaking me, repeating my name. It took me a moment to get my breath and a moment to calm my nerves. I felt like an idiot.
I managed to choke out that I was fine, and he motioned me to sit, so I did, woodenly, as he began to clean up the mess I had made. I saw Kenji peering in, his face as white as those sheets I had envisioned, his hair in a mess around it. "What happened? Dad?" His words were slurred, and his cheeks were flushed, two clear signs of his fever. He must have heard the commotion too, because he had woken up to see what was going on.
"Nothing." My father told him, gruffly. "If you're feeling well enough to eat with us, then sit down. If not, go back to bed."
He looked as though he were trying to contemplate whether his stomach was up to the task of digesting, when the doorbell rang.
All three of our heads turned in the direction of the door, and for a moment, no one moved. There was still a mess of plates on the floor, a few noodles littering the ground here and there. Since I was still in a daze, my father crossed the room and opened it to reveal Kaoru.
She was dressed in light blue, her hair up in a fuzzy elastic of the same color. As I turned my attention to her, my eyes locked on hers and I pulled them away, because it felt as if she were searching my soul, seeing right through me….
"Sensei?" Kenji asked, numbly. He seemed to sway on his feet a little, but he gripped the wall beside him before he could fall over.
Kaoru smiled. "Good evening, everyone." She seemed embarrassed. "I just came to bring Kenji his homework." She smiled nervously, under Hiko's penetrating glare.
Coming to my feet, I forced myself back into the present. "Kamiya-san, thank you very much." I told her, when I reached the door. She handed me an envelope that was a soft cream color. It had Kenji's name printed neatly on the front.
"I got the rest of his classes' homework too….just in case." She reported. She turned to peer at Kenji, who had not moved from his place, afraid to topple over. She took in the figure of my son briefly before giving us all a small bow. "Sorry to interrupt your dinner. Kenji, I hope you get better soon."
He didn't say anything, pursing his lips together in that defiant way he always had. Seeing that her business was done, she was about to turn away, but I heard myself blurt, "Kamiya-san, if you're not busy right now, would you join us for dinner? We haven't started yet….in fact, it's not even finished….."
Her face puckered into a frown. "I really shouldn't…..it would be very….."
"I insist." She froze, her eyes meeting mine again. No matter how uncomfortable it was, I kept my gaze trained on hers, guarding mine as much as possible. "I would like to discuss some things with you too, if you don't mind…..and, because you……saved my son's life."
I had cornered her – if she didn't stay, it would be equally rude on my part, now that I had persisted. Kaoru seemed to hesitate, but she finally nodded, her cheeks going pink.
Kicking her shoes off at the door and arranging them neatly beside ours, she took a step inside.
Kenji had slid to a sitting position on the hardwood floor, his head sinking down toward his chest. He had fallen, not able to stand up any longer.
My father rushed over, taking the boy into his arms and carrying him to his room. I watched as he did so, Kaoru standing by my side.
"Is he all right?" She asked, seeing them disappear into Kenji's bedroom.
"He'll be fine." I reassured her. I politely asked her to sit on the couch, as I went to go clean up the mess I had made, before I would go have a word with her.
I saw her wandering in there, looking at the small decorations and the pictures I had on the wall on the display counters. I was not a man with a lot of furnishings. It made it easier for me to clean and of course, to hide my memories. Yuki, come to think of it, had never really been one for elaborate furnishings either. All she wanted were pretty flowers as centerpieces for tables, with which she took great care and pride arranging.
She also had great cooking, come to think of it….and was always graceful…..
The last broken dish was cleaned up, and the floor was once again spotless. I caught her looking down at a picture, which she gently set back.
"You have a lovely home." She said quietly.
"Thank you." I told her. She went over to the couch again and sat. To make her feel comfortable, I sad down too, across from her on the love seat.
"I'm really grateful that you are looking out for my son," I began. "He is quite a handful."
Kaoru smiled a bit. "Yes, he is…but at the same time, he doesn't seem like it." She leaned forward a bit. "I never see him smile…….and he doesn't seem to have any friends at all. During lunch, he sits away from everyone. And during class, he doesn't ever want to mingle."
"He must be shy." I defended him. Why I was, I had no clue. "Either that, or he feel uncomfortable with everyone else."
"I think, Himura-san….." She trailed off a bit, before continuing, "I think they're uncomfortable with him." She knit her fingers together, looping them over her knee absently. "I know there are couple of other teens out there with the same dress style and the same interest in music…but he just doesn't seem to fit in."
I leaned back a bit. "So, what you're saying is, he's a loner."
She bit the inside of her cheek and nodded. It sounded like me, in all truth. Except that I hadn't been as hard to handle as Kenji was. At least, I don't think I had been. "What do you propose I do, Kamiya-san?"
Kaoru looked off into the direction of Kenji's room. "He should try to make friends." She suggested.
My mind floated to the long conversations he had on the telephone. "He does have friends." I pointed out. "He goes over to their houses and goes biking with them. His best friend is a boy named Myojin Yahiko."
Kaoru's eyes seemed to widen at that. I faltered: maybe I had said something wrong? I felt my hands tighten around themselves. "Is there something I should know about Myojin-san?" I asked.
She blinked. "You've never met him?" she asked, incredulously.
I shook my head and repeated my question.
Her eyes darted away for a moment, and she smiled bleakly. "Yahiko's a good kid, don't worry about it." She told me finally. I had the suspicion that she was keeping something from me, but I guess she was getting back at me. I got the hint: it was none of my business.
"I know Yahiko," she continued. "I just never thought he'd be friends with Kenji. Of course, I haven't seen him lately myself."
Just the news alone made me more at ease. At least this Myojin kid seemed like a reasonable friend and not some potty mouthed jerk. In truth, I had never met him, nor even seen him. Kenji practically worshipped the ground he walked on and spoke of him often, so I figured to let the kid make his own friends so long as he didn't start doing anything bad.
So far, it looked like I had made a mistake.
She seemed to be very familiar with him too, with the way she used his name so casually.
It was then that my father came out, to finish making dinner. It looked like Kenji would not be joining us, because dad announced that he was not feeling well at all. I excused myself from Kaoru's presence to go check up on him.
He was lying in bed, his breathing shallow.
"Kenji?"
"Dad….." he murmured, "I….."
I silenced him. "Don't worry, you'll be fine." I promised. I took his temperature again and was a bit disappointed to see that his fever had gone a bit higher from the last time I had checked. I bundled him up tightly in his blankets and put a cool towel on his forehead and on top of that, an ice pack.
Fitfully, he watched as I got up to leave, and I closed the door behind myself.
"Dinner should be ready." I told her, confidently. "Why don't we go to the kitchen? Kenji isn't feeling well enough today, so we'll have to exclude him."
Kaoru got up, smoothing out the unseen wrinkles in her blue shirt. "Shouldn't we wait for Mrs. Himura?" she asked, worriedly.
My breath hitched up in my chest again, but I fought the sudden rush of adrenaline that pumped so hard my ears felt like they were going to burst. "N-no." I muttered.
Kaoru didn't seem to get the clue. "Does she work late?" She asked, innocently.
I managed a weak smile. "Kamiya-san, she isn't…….she isn't here." I told her.
I had hoped that she would get the message, but apparently not, because she asked, "Where is she? She doesn't live here? Divorced?" I had never known a person to ask so many personal questions like that, and so bluntly. Maybe I wasn't making myself clear enough, but at the moment, I didn't want to answer any of her questions.
"Kamiya-san…." I sighed.
At that, she finally realized she was crossing too many boundaries and she shut her mouth.
0-0-0-0-0
You stand there, smiling proudly, your head held high. You're always that way, bold and strong, despite whatever comes your way.
I guess that's what I love the most about you.
You shine, like a goddess, standing out among all the others as you go up to the pulpit to make your speech. My heart races at the sound of your voice and I think to myself in disdain: I've become a lovesick puppy.
And I realize then that I want to ask you to marry me.
I guess it's still early and we're young, but I realize that I would do anything to be by your side. It would make me the happiest man on the planet if I could spend the rest of my days with you. And I know it's a big responsibility, but I am sure I could do it. The question is, what do you think of that?
Your eyes meet mine, sparkling. Are you nervous? I find myself smiling and nodding, and the tenseness in your shoulders seem to relax. Throughout the rest of your speech you look at me, sharing your message in a private way with me alone.
At the end, everyone claps, but I don't. I hold your eyes with mine and you come to sit next to me, threading your hand through mine and whispering thanks.
"You're trembling," you whisper, sitting down.
Another person gets up
to do their speech, but now I am not paying attention. I simply tug
at the hand in mine and whisper nervously, "How about a
diamond?"
You giggle and lean over to give me a kiss on my
cheek. Maybe you do know what I am thinking after all.
The diamond is gorgeous, of course. And the ring fits just fine. You never take it off, and you always tell me it's beautiful. The smile on your face is all I need, actually. Your happiness is the world to me.
But it's taken away from me.
Your smile and your laughter.
Like a blink of an eye, you are gone.
The day you died……..
When answering the phone in Japan, you say hello and state your name, thus Kaoru knew she got the right number when Kenshin answered.
To Be Continued…….
AN: That's a wrap for Chapter 7. Did you like it? I know, the plot is slowly being revealed, but as the story continues, I hope you all will piece it together. There is a reason why Kenshin feels so guilty and a reason why Kenji does not like his father very much. I ask for patience again. Oh, and if anyone has a suggestion on who the psychiatrist should be, I'll listen!
Please leave me a review!
