Judy opened the car door, hopped in, and closed the door behind her. She looked out the windshield and saw a couple of cubs playing soccer on the street. It still hadn't hit her what just happened. Perhaps her mind was trying to protect her from the horrible thought that everything she had with Nick will be gone forever. But then she saw an interspecies couple, a tiger and a gazelle locking arms and laughing as they walked down the street. It then hit her. All at once. Everything from finding out about the date to the reassignment to the confrontation. She started to sob.

"How could Nick do that to me? How could I do that to Nick? I yelled at him. He betrayed me. But I said horrible things to him. I betrayed him too. He needs to apologize to me! I need to apologize…no I can't. He'll never forgive me. Well maybe if I go back to his apartment? No, no I can't. I did too much already. I need to leave."

She recollected herself after a few minutes, wiped away her tears and turned on the ignition.


She laid down on her bed with her hands behind her head. She had earphones in her ears that were connected to her Iphone. She was listening to all the sad ballads that Gazelle, Tiglor Swift, and Christina Aguilemur had to offer. It was also helping her ignore the commotion happening in Bucky and Pronk's apartment. She believed they were arguing about whose turn it was to wash the dishes.

She sighed to herself, she believed she had no more tears left to shed after the drive home. She just wanted to distract herself from the idea that Nick and she will probably never be partners or friends again and try to move on.

"What's in the past is in the past," she told herself. "There's….nothing I can do about it right now. Let's play some Gazelle Hollyforest on my phone. Being her best friend always cheers me up."

She grabbed her phone on the dresser next to her bed and pressed the home button. What appeared was a selfie of Nick and her on the lock screen. It was Nick's first day of work and they wanted to take a selfie to commemorate this moment. Their faces were pressed against each other. Nick was wearing his shades that he so dearly loved and giving his signature grin. Judy was giving her biggest smile and completely oblivious to the fact that Nick used his paw to give her a "bunny ear."

She laughed to herself and, reminisced "His first day and he was already a douche." She gently touched Nick's face in the picture, "This feels so long ago…We were so happy to be partners." Suddenly a picture of a gray rabbit in a blue flannel shirt with a white top popped up on her phone screen. She had her paws on her hips, was giving a wink, and giving her biggest smile. It was her older sister, Cheryl, requesting to Muzzletime her. Judy instinctively slide the screen without realizing how terrible she must've looked at the moment. A close up live feed of her sister's snout appeared on the screen.

"Hey Judy! Oh shit, ugh you're probably seeing a close up of my snout. Haha, how embarrassing! Technology! I still don't get it!" The screen zoomed out showing her whole face this time. "So how are you-oh my gosh Judy are you okay?" Cheryl's smile quickly disappeared into a concerned look.

Judy looked at the tiny square screen of her face which somehow was still able to effortlessly capture her puffy eyes, trail of wet fur, and disheveled fur.

"Damn Carrot products and their amazing retina display," Judy thought.

"Hey Cheryl, I'm…okay. How are you doing? Have you seen the latest episode of Mouse of Cards?"

"Don't try to change the subject. What happened?"

Judy sighed. She knew her attempts would be futile. Cheryl was probably one of the most stubborn bunnies she has ever known. Judy remembered that one time when she and Cheryl got into a fight. Cheryl believed she was definitely right so planted herself on top of Judy's bed and refused to move for the whole night. It was only until Judy reluctantly apologized that she was able to go back to her bed to sleep. Cheryl usually won the fights.

Judy reluctantly consented, "Ugh fine, it's about Nick."

Cheryl asked, "Omg, are you guys together? You know, I've always shipped you two."

Judy grunted in frustration. "Jesus, how many mammals ship us together?" she thought. She also didn't need another reminder that she was heartbroken.

"Quite the opposite actually, I had my heart broken by him. And… I think in return I broke him."

Cheryl gasped. "Well if he broke your heart, then I sure am glad that you broke him! What a jerk! My little sister is the best bunnylorette out there!"

Judy laughed a little, "Hahaha, oh sis, I know I can count on you for your support. But….it's actually more complicated than that."

Judy started recounting everything that has happened since the dinner-kinda-date. As she did that, Cheryl said nothing, but instead showed a variety of expressions ranging from shock, excitement, to sadness.

When Judy was done, Cheryl said, "Wow…wow….lots of things sure happened between you two."

Judy nodded in agreement slowly. She then started to tear up.

"Oh Cheryl, I really messed up didn't I? I don't want it to end like this, I lost my best friend! The things I said to him, he'll never want to see me again! Yet I still feel really hurt by what he did to me. I don't know, I just feel confused."

Cheryl reassured, "Don't be silly Judy, you two are best friends. You'll find a way back to each other whether it be a couple or friends. Maybe…not right away because admittedly you two did some pretty harsh things to each other. You two need time to heal, you can't rush these things.

Judy whined, "But I hate all this waiting. I just…. want us to be friends again. The thought of us two not being friends is honestly pretty horrible."

"Yeah Judy, but these things take time. Just like how physical wounds take time to heal, so do emotional wounds."

Judy gave her a slight nod in agreement.

Cheryl added, "Also, you two may not have been a couple, but you two were best friends. And you two basically just had a friend break up. A pretty bad one I must say."

"Are you going somewhere with this, or are you just going to keep reminding me how shitty it was?" Judy said with a slightly annoyed tone.

"Sorry! I'm just trying to say that what you two had was very real, and recently broken up couples will need time for these wounds to heal. And you two too."

"Yeah… I guess so, but what if we never become friends again? It's not like a lot of ex's ever get back together, many for good reasons too," Judy countered.

"Well, unlike a lot of the couples I know, I'm willing to bet on you two," Chery reassured with a smile.

"Thanks Cheryl, thanks a lot. I needed to hear that," Judy smiled back.

"No problem Judy. Okay anyways, let's talk about Mouse of Cards. I cannot believe Frank Undercheese did that!"


Nick watched her leave until she was out of his sight. He then just sat there frozen, staring at the very spot where she stood. The spot where she crushed him after he opened up about his inner voice. He never told anyone about it and now he knew what kind of response he would get. Complete and utter rejection.

"She's right you know, you never changed. You're just the same fucking fox that everyone loves to hate."

Nick stood back up, went into his apartment, and closed the door behind him. He threw his shopping bag aimlessly and flipped the light switch. With light revealed a very simple living arrangement. Nick was never into his own home decoration despite his fascination with Cave Hunters. He just had what he considered the essentials. Against the wall was a gray sofa with a 19 inch TV resting on top of a stand 5 feet away. On the other side of the apartment was an unmade queen-sized bed nestled at the corner of his apartment. The lights also revealed a very messy living arrangement. There were tacky Hawaiian shirts, slacks, underpants, ties, and papers lying all over the ground. He was never into cleaning.

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and threw it to the ground. He approached his bed and jumped into its cozy embrace. He laid on his side and started to think about how his confession the night before.

He had been harboring feelings for her for months and months. It started off with little bouts of attraction to her after the Missing Mammals Case. Just simple observations of her really nice butt and her beautiful amethyst eyes. He always wrote it off as just his male body being horny. But then, he started having it more and more often. And then it became more than just a physical attraction. He started caring about making sure she had her favorite donut (carrot-flavored and glazed), when he was going to hang out with her again, or whether she was feeling okay or not. By the time it was the day of the date, Judy consumed most of his thoughts. Of course he couldn't resist what a date with Judy would be like, he was in love. And that kiss, that perfect kiss, the culmination of that date, he felt complete euphoria and joy for the first time in many years. Of course, it didn't last.


-Flashback-

-Seconds after the perfect kiss-

"Oh Nick, you royally fucked up. You let it go way too far. She was just supposed to be just your best friend."

"Oh fuck, I just kissed my best friend," Nick thought.

Simultaneously, Nick and Judy stepped away from each other. He refused to look at Judy out of pure embarrassment.

He heard Judy say something about getting a Zuuber and he stammered, "Yeah, yeah that sounds great, yeah you do that. I'll get a zyft, yeah a zyft."

"Oh fuck what am I going to do?" Nick thought.

-40 Minutes after the Kiss-

Nick was lying on his bed, his heart and mind in a constant battle on what he should do.

"He is in love! And Judy is in love with him! He needs to go after her! Pursue this relationship! Maybe something good will happen out of it!" his heart argued.

"No way, absolutely no way. Remember what happened to the last few girls he was with? They thought they were in love, then BAM, he fucks up and they hate him. We can't let Nick go through that again," his mind reasoned.

"But it's Judy! She's different! She's kind, smart, beautiful, determined, and so much more! We can't let Nick miss this chance of happiness. Remember that kiss? He hasn't had that kind of happiness in years!" his heart fired back.

"Oh that's him being horny because he hasn't gotten action for a long time! You know what we have to do, we have to cut him off Judy. They can't be partners anymore, he needs to ask for a reassignment." his mind argued.

"What are you crazy? They're best friends! That is absolutely not an option!" his heart exclaimed.

"I think it's a great idea. I think Nick should be cut off from Judy. He's fucking garbage and Judy would be lucky not to have him in her life anymore."

His mind and heart fell silent. Nick knew what he had to do. Despite how much his heart burned in pain of the idea, he knew he couldn't see Judy anymore. He was going to ask to be reassigned.


-Present-

"God, I was so fucking stupid last night, I should've suggested that we go to another restaurant," Nick lamented. "I ruined everything, and it was all my fault."

"What the hell is wrong with you Nick? Heh, remember when she said that to you? She thinks like you now! Though I'm sure you can make a whole list to answer that huh Nick?"

His eyes winced at the pain from remembering the confrontation. Judy, his now ex-best friend, knew him better than anyone. And when she saw the real him, she hated him.

He felt his heart aching and his whole body felt heavy. He had this episode many times before. Many, many times. It usually would come all of the sudden without warning, with seemingly no trigger. It could even happen in the middle of conversation with someone, and if they notice, they would ask him what's wrong. Not wanting to make things awkward, he would crack a joke about them being dull or say he was spacing out and then give his signature grin. It made him feel very lonely afterwards, but society didn't want a sly, depressed fox. They much rather have just a sly fox, sorta. At least he could solace in the fact that he didn't have to hide at home. At home he was hidden from the rest of society, free of their judgment. He allowed himself to cry at home.

This time was special though, he knew what his trigger for this episode was. And because of that, his mind started to remind him of little glimpses of the confrontation. And it did so over and over and over again. It was torment having to relive the moments in life that he's ashamed of. He started to sob. He wanted the pain to go away. But everything in the room then became a trigger for him to sob harder. It didn't have to be about Judy. It really could be anything from a water bottle on the ground to the ad for Puzzles and Komodo Dragons on his phone.

"I hate myself…I hate myself so much," Nick whispered.

"Hah! So does the rest of the universe, which includes Judy! Lucky you!"

Nick clenched his eyes shut as he started to feel his mind being clouded and his body become void. When he opened them, all he could see was darkness. He arranged his body into fetal position and started trying to count to 80. He has experienced this torture before, this was his best way to cope with it. Before he could count to 10, he started hearing all the harsh words Judy shouted at him. She may have not realized it because he didn't let it show, but each one of the words felt like a slice to the heart. He felt he deserved every slice to the heart, everything was his fault since he's a failure. His heart felt like it was screaming in pain as it bled, but he couldn't stop it. He never could. After what seemed like an eternity, the memory of the confrontation stopped repeating in his head, and he could have a moment of respite. Then his mind started to play out short bursts of memories of Darren on the day he died. Darren and he arguing. Darren running out. Nick searching for him. Nick hearing a gunshot. Nick finding his body.

Suddenly his mind cleared up a bit. "No! Nooooooooooo! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Nick screamed. He expelled the darkness away and was back in his apartment.

He shouted, "What the fucking hell is wrong with me? Why am I like this? Why is my mind like this?" He punched the wall as hard as he could. "Why has god cursed me with this mind where I am forced to torture myself like this?"

"It's because I'm you, and as long as I'm you, I'm never going away. Unless… you make me go away."

Nick sat up and saw that the shopping bag was right by his bed. He reached over and grabbed it and took out his new handgun. The gun that he felt compelled to buy.

"This gun…it's just for protection, from like invaders," Nick muttered in an attempt to convince himself. "I'm not going to do anything crazy with this."

"Do you think of me as an invader? Do you need to protect yourself from me? This could be the best way. I do promise that I will go away forever if you….use it right."

Nick shakily started raising the handgun to his head. He couldn't resist. His mind and body were compelling him to do it. Just do it. End it all. Sweet relief from this torture. But then an image of his mom popped in his head. He snarled and yelled, "No! I'm not going to be like my mom!" He put the gun back into the shopping bag and defiantly threw it away from his bed. "I'm not my mom."

"You sure about that?"

Nick paused for a second, his resolve weakened by that four word question.

"I...I can't let it continue to torment me like this. There's only one way to get out of this," Nick thought.

He jumped out of his bed and rushed into the kitchen. He opened the kitchen cabinet and found a bottle of Jackrabbit Daniels Whiskey.

"Hello old friend, haven't had to use you for a while," Nick greeted the whiskey. He opened the bottle and took a swig. It burned his throat, which he took as a warm welcome sign. He started feeling a little buzzed already. His heart may still be broken and his mind fucked up, but at least the alcohol made his inner voice go away.

"Perfect," Nick thought as he took another swig. He went back to his bed and drank until darkness enveloped him.