Monday

Seaborn-Lyman Residence – Charlottesville, VA – 2031

Sam's POV

"Sam, we ought to be getting ready." Alex says as he enters the kitchen.

He's all business like clutching his notepad in one hand and phone in the other. You'd think this was just another meeting in the White House, but, his designer black suit, white shirt and black silk tie, denotes this is the start of a state funeral. I still simmer with resentment since I've discovered how far he, Daniel and Toby collaborated with Josh on the funeral arrangements. My hasty contribution is the insistence on some of the guests and how I receive the coffin at the top of the Capitol Building.

No matter how much it hurts, I have to acknowledge how far Alex and Daniel have risen to the challenge set by Josh; the endless phone calls to the State Department have resulted in ensuring that his wishes were agreed to the letter.

"Your military escort, lead by General Nielson, will be arriving in two hours and the motorcade won't be far behind." Alex continues whilst consulting his notebook.

"Thanks Alex. I'm aware..." I begin a little prissily and pour what is probably my fourth coffee of the morning. "The general isn't riding in the car with us is he?" I ask changing the tone of my voice to sound more neutral. Now is not the time to vent what I know is unjustified anger.

"No, he'll be in the car behind, he'll greet you when we reach the Capitol and make sure you know where to go." I nod my thanks not trusting myself to keep a lid on my temper. "I'll just be outside with Dan briefing the press and making sure they know the boundaries one last time."

"You really miss keeping them in line, don't you?" I manage to joke to show him that nothing is wrong. Alex's tense posture relaxes at my weak attempt at humour and he laughs and heads out into the hallway.

For a moment I stand clenching and unclenching my hands and trying to deep calming breaths, I just feel so out of control. I just have to do what I'm told and perhaps I'll get through the day.

I sigh and leave the kitchen, clutching my mug of coffee, and I wish that the toast would stop churning in my stomach. My muscles feel like wet bags of sand attached to my bones. I had an hours sleep last night and feel like I could sleep twenty-four hours a day. It's my desire to see that Josh is escorted with due honour in to the Capitol Building, that keeps me on track through the day.

The house is quiet, Claudy is out in the grounds with Jamie and Molly preparing her for today's events. CJ is with Daniel no doubt hearing that I'm a bit tetchy this morning. I look at my watch and I've got one and a half hours to shower, change, and finish packing. I give a sigh as I stand outside our master bedroom. My hand shakes a little as I go to unlock the door and find it already unlocked and I frown because it's remained closed since Josh was taken away two days ago. I guess that Molly has been in as the oxygen cylinder and various medical items beside Josh's side of the bed have been removed and the bed changed. My best suit is laid out on the bed with a selection of appropriate ties. My throat tightens when I realise it is the suit, one of Josh's favourites that I bought for our European vacation.

I give a cursory glance at a suitcase by our bed and at the ties but something propels me to Josh's side of the walk-in closet. Josh discarded most of his ties after he left office, but he kept a dark blue silk tie with a silver JJ, which was Jamie's nickname for him, embroidered inside, that Jamie gave him as a birthday present. I want to have something of Josh's close to me and I try not to notice that my hand still trembles as I lay it on the bed to check that it will go with the suit.

Sitting down on Josh's side of the bed I see his glasses on the night stand next to the last spy novel I'd taken to reading to him. I smile at the faded book marker from Jamie, when he and I visited Cambridge in England. Instead of taking a shower, I put down the coffee mug and open the drawer filled with detritus that he found useful: news clippings that he found interesting and hadn't put in his study. My hand lingers on the inscription on the back of a watch, I gave him for our first White House Christmas and which my husband wore on special occasions. I find myself sliding off the watch he brought me and placing his watch next to my suit.

A few minutes later, as I stand in the shower, tears mingle with the cascading water as I remember a faint linger of Josh's cologne on the watch strap. I let the hot pounding water, run over my tense shoulders whilst I try to compose myself.

"Dad? Are you ready?" Jamie's voice floats through the door as I finish dressing and am making sure my collar is straight and my tie isn't crooked.

"Almost, come on in." I reply as I sit down on my side of the bed to fasten my cuff-links; silver with our nation's flag on, a birthday present from Josh and inevitably as I fumble one drops on to the carpet.

"It's almost time to leave." Jamie enters looking uncomfortable in his suit. He looks almost as uncomfortable in a suit as Josh used to.

"Did Molly do that?" I say as I nod towards the suitcase I've opened to find my clothes for the next three days neatly packed. "She knows me so well!" I add with a grin as I reach down to pick up the cufflink. My eyes fall on the photograph by my bed. It's of Jamie and Josh, on Air Force One, Josh is seated on the couch doing paperwork with Jamie feet stretched out on beside him, head buried in a book.

"Yeah, you left the key in the hallway dad and she came up here whilst you were having breakfast." Jamie explains as he follows my gaze. "She thought you wouldn't have the time to finish packing. You don't mind do you?"

"No, I appreciate it. I was just doing my cuff-links." I try to fasten it again but once more it drops to the floor, "Damn!"

"Here let me." He kneels in front of me and deftly fastens my cuffs and follows my gaze to the photo, "I always liked that one! Josh would always do this for you, and you would do his tie."

"He liked it, said it was our thing." I say with a smile of remembrance as Jamie gets to his feet. "Thank you. Is Claudy ok?" I ask checking one more time that my tie is straight.

"She's a bit upset but she's ok. I asked her if she wanted to go straight to Blair House with Jan, but she said no. Molly says that if she gets upset at the service, she'll take her out. Dad, are we ok?"

"We're always ok!" I reassure him. "If she gets upset you should be with her too. I don't give a damn if it disrupts the service."

"No, I'll be with you at the Capitol." Jamie replies firmly jutting his chin out. "Josh would have my hide if I let you go through this alone." He grins, succeeding in lightening the atmosphere enough for me to pull myself together.

After he'd put Claudia to bed, Jamie came to me and told me that in retrospect he understands now just how ill Josh was on his last visit. I reminded my son how I'd begged Josh to let me call him back but he wouldn't hear of it.

"Thank you. You know he was very proud of you don't you?" I reassure my son who looks close to tears and I get up and put my arms around him.

"He didn't understand your studies anymore than I did but he'd tell everyone all about it, never shut up about you. Come on, we should go."

We head for the stairs but I stop at the door. "Hang on," I tell Jamie and go inside. I open my bedside drawer and reach inside, picking up Josh's ring that he insisted I keep. I slip it onto my finger alongside my own before going back to Jamie and I give him an encouraging pat on the back. "Ok, let's go."

It's a very awkward gathering of friends of family in the hallway. I've been through this ritual before with my late wife; all of us trying to understand the loss but at the same time putting on a brave face for Claudy. She stands out from all the adults wide eyed with curiosity and after I vetoed the decision for her to be dressed in black she looks very pretty in a purple dress. After hugging my daughter in law to thank for packing the suitcase, I reach for my granddaughter and hold her tight, trying not to crush the skirt.

"Hey buglet, you look pretty." She doesn't say anything, just buries her head in my shoulder. Molly goes to take her but I shake my head and walk away slightly. It helps having something to distract me and I still feel guilty and upsetting her so much yesterday.

"Did you pick the dress yourself?" She nods, "Grampa 'Osh would like it very much you know." I feel her lift her head. "Are you sure you want to come today? You don't have to. I won't be cross I promise!

"No," I swear she juts out her chin just like her father. "Want to say bye to Grampa 'Osh. Miss him."

"Me too, buglet, me too. You can sit with me in the car, ok?" She smiles and my heart lifts just a bit.

"It's time, Sam, they're outside." Alex says and all of a sudden, Daniel is at my side, arms full of my overcoat and his own. Not that I'll need it as it's an unseasonably warm day. "The support car will carry your our luggage and Julia," He says referring to Josh's former personal aid. "She'll lock up the house and follow us. "

"She'll be present at the lying in state?"

"Yes and she'll be staying at Blair House."

"Good," I reply as I bend down to kiss my granddaughters cheek. "Josh loved her and Donna like sisters. "Now let's go!"

After Josh's second term we've returned to DC for just a handful of public appearances each year. Now I have to return and go back into the spotlight greet the waiting military escort and begin the unbearable task of saying goodbye to my Josh.

Jamie's POV

"Sam,"

I notice that it takes dad a while to register that Alex is talking to him. I'm sure that he was in his own world with memories of Josh and not watching the Virginia countryside go past.

"Can we talk through the arrangements at Blair House?" Alex prompts consulting his computer tablet.

I wish he'd put the damn thing away! I appreciate that this is a state funeral but can't they leave my dad alone for a while! For a moment I consider asking Alex to swap seats so that Claudy, who sits between Molly and I, can distract dad for a moment. She adores her grandfather and can lift him out of an introspective mood. But, she's sitting as close to me as her car seat will allow with her hand clamped in mine.

"Go on." Dad says wearily.

"I need to confirm one more time the invited guests to Blair House tonight. The family of course, myself and Daniel, Julia, CJ, Toby, Donna and Ryan and their family but I've had an email to say that they're delayed in London but will be in time for the funeral." Alex scrolls down the list. "You've invited Peter Jameson and his family..."

Nothing like stating the obvious!

"Dad knows all of this doesn't he?" I say sarcastically and shift in my seat as I notice a slightly glazed look in dad's eyes.

"I'm sorry Jamie but..." Alex begins apologetically.

"Jamie!" I jump in the seat at the mild rebuke from dad. "Alex has his job to do! You've probably forgotten the excruciating protocol at the White House!" He sternly reminds me.

I'm about to retort that I do but dad turns back to Alex but I know that he'd rather be alone with his thoughts and feelings. At Alex's mention of Elizabeth Weston, Eleanor Faison and Zoey Bartlet Young will be attending the lying in state. Dad's face brightens at this as I know that he and Josh were very fond of President Bartlet's daughters and I'm glad they'll be there for him.

"We've yet to hear from John Preston," Alex refers to my dad's former secret service agent. "And finally," Alex frowns and glances at me, "Alison and Richard Carter. I called them as you requested and they..."

"She's coming?" I ask, and I can't quite make my voice sound neutral.

After all the trouble she's caused why has is she invited to Josh's funeral? In spite of her respect for the office of the President, she and Josh barely tolerated each other. I heard the rows when they thought I was sleeping about the gossip that circulated in DC about her friendship with my father. Molly glares at me, I've told her about that woman, and I think she had heard things from her Dad, and her eyes are telling me to leave it, but I can't.

"After all the trouble she caused, she's coming to Josh's funeral?" I find it hard to keep the resentment out of my voice. "It's disrespectful to Josh!"

"No it isn't and yes she is!" Dad barks at me making everyone jump in their seats.

"But..."

Molly kicks my ankle gently, but I can't leave it, I have to stick up for Josh.

"Josh hated her!"

"Jamie, he didn't hate her." Dad explains patiently ignoring Alex loudly clearing his throat. "Josh accepted my friendship with Alison once he realised that's all it was. When his illness was diagnosed, Alison and Richard Carter have gave him tremendous support which he appreciated." Dad gives a sigh. "I know your feelings about her but I want them at the funeral. Now drop it!"

Out of the corner of my eye I see my daughter watching us anxiously. She's always been able to pick up on my moods. I'm not going to upset her so I shut my mouth and turn to stare out of the window.

"I'm sorry about that Alex. Go on," Dad says politely.

"Actually, I was about to say, I'm afraid the Carter's are unable to attend as Richard Carter has been taken ill." Alex explains patiently turning back to his computer tablet. "Now," The tone of his voice is a little more brisk. "After the lying in state ceremonies are completed, President Jesson will leave the Capitol Building first, then the VP, then the rest of the guests. We can arrange for you to stay behind with the coffin for as long as you want. Then we'll depart for Blair House to greet the visiting dignitaries."

Dad nods and asks Alex about reminding him to send a letter to Alison Carter and I can see how difficult the whole ceremonial aspect of this is etched on his face. I know that he will get through all of it with dignity, for Josh's sake, even if he is still angry that he knew nothing about it. I just wonder about dad's re-emergence in to public life after a long period of seclusion and how he'll handle the press intrusion. I still shudder at the numerous times both my dad's stormed down to the press room when a rogue reporter had over stepped the mark by talking to my friends outside the school.

It left them both more resentful towards the press and during the latter years of Josh's presidency reluctant to be on show more than they had to. The one aspect of Josh's plans Dad agreed to was putting his foot down about the current President and Vice-President attending the burial itself.

I'm getting a little uncomfortable with the silence in the car. Dad, continues to stare out of the window deep in thought and I remember how I used to find him in the East Wing, sitting back in his chair staring at his desk. I turn to Molly who is looking anxiously in his direction and I'm struck that my dad's face has turned the colour of putty and the glassy eyed faraway look has returned. I make a silent promise to be at his side as much as possible and if possible I'll speak to Uncle Peter again; ask him to keep a watchful eye of him. Josh would want that and I need to do something after my behaviour over the past weeks.

"We'll keep it as brief as possible for you, Sam, OK." Alex says reassuringly noting my anxious glance. "Either Daniel or I will be with you all day... "

"It's OK Alex," Dad cuts in. "I'll be fine, thank you. I owe you a debt a gratitude for everything that you've done so far. I feel like I should be doing something! Everything's been taken out my hands."

I notice a slight touch of bitterness in his voice.

"That's the problem when the State Department get involved..." Alex begins.

I pay little attention to the rest of the conversation as Claudy announces that she wants a drink and Molly and I focus on preventing orange juice being spilt over the highly polished leather seat of the limousine.

Sam's POV

I try to pay attention to Alex as he goes to great lengths to explain that given the fact we have to deal with the Jewish aspects of the burial, as well as Josh's wishes for the ceremonial parts, it was best that the arrangements were left to Toby, my team and the State Department. But, I feel so helpless and with little or no activity to divert me from my current state of introspection, all I can think of is the hearse that we'll meet when we cross the Memorial Bridge as we enter DC. I wanna remember him at his best full of life with that slightly arrogant walk but with the cheekiest of grins. Yet, all I can do is think about when I finally had to accept that I was going to lose him.

George Washington Hospital – Washington DC – May 2031

"Sam, I'm fine, I want to go home."

Josh's argument would be much more convincing if he wasn't lying in a hospital bed, with an IV in his arm, an oxygen mask on his face, leads going into heart monitors and was coughing every few minutes.

He was admitted about eight hours ago when he had difficulty breathing. He'd had a cold and we thought he'd gotten over it, but he began having trouble breathing and chest pains. We called out our local doctor and the next thing I knew he was being brought to GW. He probably should have gone to the nearest hospital but his cardiologist is here. She diagnosed pneumonia.

I stand up and brush the hair back from his forehead.

"I know you do but you heard what Dr Andersen said, you have pneumonia, and your heart and lungs are struggling so you need to be here. I'm not going anywhere, ok?" I reassure him.

"Sam...I need to talk you. I need to tell you about the funer..." He's sized by another bout of coughing and I place the oxygen mask over his face.

"What you need is to rest. Good God Josh if we hadn't left this so long...you should have been here days ago! You heard what the doctor said."

"Yes I did, but did you?"

I simply nod and hand him the glass of water from his bedside locker and wait while he calms down.

"Sam, you heard her say that even if I had been here a few days ago, it wouldn't have made a difference."

"Josh..." I whisper.

"We both know what's going to happen."

I can't say anymore, I don't want to think about it. I could put off thinking about the evil day while our lives were still relatively normal but after this recent bout of pneumonia, it frightens me to see how far he's deteriorated. Then I heard it in the doctors voice, she couldn't look me in the eye but she had the tone that prepares people for the worst, that they have to accept the inevitable and face life without their loved one.

"Sam, we're going to have to talk about this."

He breaks off and goes into another coughing fit. I rub his back until it passes, hating that I can't do more.

"We're not talking about it tonight."

"When? Every time...every time I want to you won't. There are things I need to tell you..."

"You're going to get over this and then..."

"No I'm not, Sam. I hardly get out of bed anymore and when I do you have to all but carry me. I have to sleep sitting up or it hurts to breathe, I can't remember the last time you slept in my arms and I've seen more of the inside of this place than anyone should in the last few months. Sweetheart, I'm tired." He finishes in a whisper.

"I know darlin', but the antibiotics will kick in soon and you'll start to feel better."

"That's not it! I wanna sleep and never..."

"No!"

"I wanna be able to do all the things we still had to do, to hold you at night, to make love to you again but I can't. I want to see our granddaughter grow up but I'm not going to..." He stops as the nurse walks in and I turn and face the window until I can calm down.

"President Lyman, I just need to check your blood pressure again."

Josh makes small talk with her as she goes about her work. As she's finishing up, I turn to face them. Once she's gone I lean down, gently remove the oxygen mask and kiss him.

"I hate these things," he tells me, "I can't kiss you."

I smile, kiss him once more before putting the mask back on and sit back down in the chair.

"I hate that I'm not going to grow old with you, that I'm leaving you alone." He says a few minutes later, his voice quiet and I can barely hear him over the hiss of the oxygen. "It breaks my heart."

"I know, but can we...can we not talk about it tonight? I know we planned a movie night, but we can do something...how about it?" He nods and I get to my feet. "Give me five minutes. Why don't you get some rest and I'll be back soon."

I leave, speak to the doctor to check what I want is possible before making a phone call to Suzie my executive secretary at Seaborn Wyatt and Associates, even though I haven't been there for months now, she's keeping everything running.

An hour later and Josh is sleeping. I'm at his side reading the newspaper trying to ignore how ragged his breathing sounds. He wakes as the door opens and an orderly brings in a trolley, followed by a nurse. The trolley contains take out bags and crockery. The nurse gently changes his oxygen mask for a line that sits under his nose, as I asked and checks the monitors. Once she's satisfied, I thank them and they leave. I close the door behind them, knowing they won't disturb us now unless I call.

"What's going on?"

"It's not what we had planned but it's the best I can do at short notice."

I start opening bags and I put his food onto his plate, before moving his table over the bed, proud of the fact I only hit the bed once.

"I didn't think I was allowed junk food anymore."

Josh is eyeing his hamburger hungrily, something which hasn't happened for a while.

"I asked Dr Andersen, and she said it was ok. Then I called Suzie who brought it over for us, and Daniel told the restaurant just how particular you are about your burgers." I carry my own plate round the bed and perch on it and start eating. "Go ahead, Josh, eat." He's still staring at me.

"I...can't believe you did this."

"Josh, shut up and eat, before it gets cold."

He smiles at me and picks up the hamburger with a gleam in his eye. When he's finished I clear away the mess and the table before dimming the lights and setting up the DVD player that Daniel lent to me. When I'm done, I climb onto the bed next to him, carefully to avoid any wires. The bed is tilted so he's half sitting but l put his arm around me and let him hold me, like he wanted.

"Thank you." I just catch his whisper.

"You're welcome." He puts his left hand over mine so our rings are side by side. We both wear thin wedding bands as well as the rings we gave each other when we proposed.

"Will you wear this...when I'm gone."

"Joshua I don't wanna talk about this tonight!"

"Please, I don't want it buried with me; I want you to wear it. I'll have my wedding ring." His arm holds me that bit tighter. I nod my head, not trusting myself to speak. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, Josh."

He's quiet for a few minutes and just when I think he's fallen asleep I hear his breathing hitch. "Sam...will you promise me something?"

I know I'm not going to want to listen to what he has to ask but I can't bring myself to stop him. It's obviously important to him.

"What's that?"

"When the time comes...I don't want to be here."

"Josh...you might need to...what if you're in pain?"

"Then...damnit, Sam, we have a perfectly competent doctor at home, I don't want to die here in some cold, soulless room. I want to be with you, in our bed, in our home. Can you understand that?"

"Of course...I just don't know if I can do nothing...I don't want to lose you, Josh."

"Sweetheart, there's nothing I can do about that, I wish I could but can you understand why I want to be at home, with you, not in this place?"

I want to say no, want to tell him that I'm not going to just let him fade away but I can't because during all of this he hasn't asked me for a single thing, he's spent more time worrying about how I am and how I'm coping rather than himself.

"Yes, I just don't know if I'm strong enough to promise you..."

"You are, Sam, I know you are." He tightens his arms around me and for a minute I try and forget that we're in a hospital, ignore the hiss of oxygen and the gentle beeping of the monitors. Most of all I try and forget that Josh is dying and soon I'll have to say goodbye to him; long before I was ever meant to. He's quiet now but his hold on me doesn't lessen so I settle myself back in his arms and listen to him breathe just about managing to keep the tears from cascading down my face. "It was worth it, yeah?" I croak.

"Every minute. Don't ever forget how much I love you, my wonderful Sam."

Josh reminded me of my promise that I'd take him home to die and when the doctors told him there was very little they could do for him, he had a statement drafted thanking the staff for their care and support during his stay and made me take him home. Despite my promise, I tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't be swayed. I look down at my hand, and his ring nestling next to mine and once again I feel my heart clench at the feeling of letting him down.

"Sam? Is there anything you want to do or anywhere else you want to go in DC?" Molly asks me. "Places you and Josh used to go?"

I shake my head, everywhere I'll go in DC will hold memories of Josh and our life together.

"You should take Claudy to the top of the Washington memorial. Jamie used to love to see the city from a bird's eye view. I'm sure the Secret Service could arrange something."

"I think that's something her Grampa should do. After all you do know the area don't you? Maybe we can make a weekend but perhaps we'll wait for a couple of months." She hastily adds at a look of doubt on my face.

Jamie was so lucky when he married her, she always knows just what to say and I know I'm not going to be allowed to sit around wallow if she has anything to do with it. The car falls quiet for the remainder of the journey except for Claudia's occasional questions about how far it is to DC and I slip back into the past.

Washington DC – 2019

"Hey!"

I look up from my seat against the railings of the Truman Balcony.

"That was a good thing you did," I say as he leans over the railings to enjoy the amazing view of Washington DC's monuments. The Truman Balcony is usually off-limits to the press and is for the President's inner circle or special guests, where they can relax smoke cigars and look across to the illuminated Jefferson Memorial. Tonight to celebrate the passage of Josh's historic education reform he invited the West and East Wing staff to a reception in the East Room then several close aides joined us up here for some champagne.

"They've put in some pretty long hours and I think some of them are kind of barely alive." Josh replies rubbing his eyes. "Where are they now?" He adds referring to the staff who at our invitation are taking the opportunity to snoop around the residence.

"Oh, I think they've sloped off to look at the Lincoln bedroom." I reply taking a puff of my cigar.

"As long as they don't cause to much noise and wake Jamie, then I'm a happy guy!" Josh almost snaps then sits down on a formal cast-metal patio chair. "I'm sorry..." He stifles a yawn.

"Alex will make sure they toe the line," I reassure him then take a sip of Jack Daniels and put it down on the glass table. "But, it was a grand gesture Josh, to invite them up here! For some it will be their first time in the Residence." I remind him referring to staffers who joined us after Josh's re-election. I give his wedding ring a reassuring rub..

"A successful Supreme Court judge nomination," I blow a puff of smoke in the air. "And now this! It's something to celebrate!"

We touch my glass and his beer bottle together in celebration.

"Who'd have thought it," Josh says.

It's said with some bitterness because we're almost half way through our second term, and it's taken this long to achieve the grand vision Josh boldly announced in his first state of the union.

"You've…"

"We," Josh gently corrects me.

"OK, we've confounded our critics and you'll never be considered as a 'lame duck' President. Now the bill has passed you'll consider taking a break? You look burnt out!" I say referring to the extra furrow on his forehead and the auburn curls are almost obliterated by grey hair.

Josh takes a slug of his drink and nods his acquiescence and I make a mental note to speak to Donna about clearing his schedule, before he changes his mind.

"Thanks sweetheart!" Josh says slightly offended. "I'll admit that I'm tired but have you looked in the mirror recently?" He takes a gulp of his beer. "You've worked just as hard on this! We've hardly had any one on one time together in the last three months."

"How about a date night then? We haven't been out..." I stop as we both laugh together at a memory of a dreadful night out three months back.

We have a selection of restaurants in DC where the managers are happy to close the restaurants at short notice and the secret service are happy with the security arrangements. I appreciate the restrictions imposed on our lifestyle, but sometimes it's good to shake up the routine. After staffers and friends had raved about a bistro which wholesome American fayre', we decided to go out for a romantic meal.

"It's was kind of small." Josh says as I take of drink of my scotch and get up and cross over to the drinks trolley to put some more ice in it.

"Quaint," I offer as I drop two ice cubes into my drink.

Ever the politician I'm determined to put some kind of positive spin on the evening.

"OK, quaint," Josh concedes. "But in such a confined space how could we be romantic with the secret service virtually standing over us."

"Was it necessary for them to be in the restaurant? They could have stood outside they had the entrance and exit covered? Doesn't the Secret Service work for you?" I remind him.

"Yes, but I'm not sure the secret service would be pleased if they could hear this conversation, sweetheart. Jed once told Delores Landingham that they'd have her down like a calf at a rodeo, so I'd like to keep in their good books. I thought you'd gotten over this."

"I have, really I have. Now I know why Kennedy preferred to stay here and have friends dine here." I stub the remains of my cigar into the ashtray." He said that he didn't want to become socially isolated and neither did I."

"I didn't know this..." He waves his around the balcony and out towards the Washington Monument. "Was getting to you."

"It's not that, I mean we saw at firsthand what life was gonna be like in the White House with Jed and Abbey. They managed to carve out some sort of existence, here," I drain my drink. "I didn't think we'd settle down..."

"We have haven't we?" Josh gives me an anxious glance. "I mean I've never seen you so relaxed you seemed to have carved out a role for yourself and that makes me so happy."

"I'm…" I get to my feet and turn to face the view and then turn around surprised that my eyes are wet with tears. I don't know if it's because I've had a very large scotch and champagne or we're on a high after the euphoria of watching the vote in the West Wing, but, I've not felt so supercharged since the Election.

"I came up here one afternoon and listened to Jamie talking to some friends in there..." I turn to face the Yellow Room. "It suddenly struck me how lucky we are to go to bed every night where history has been made for 200 years."

Josh gets to his feet and comes to stand beside me. "You know it used to be F.D.R.'s study, the place where he mixed nightly cocktails at what he called "the children's hour," and took his dinners on trays with aides and friends. It was in this room that he learned of the attack on Pearl Harbor."

I nod always impressed at his knowledge of the history of the building and his pride at living in the White House.

"Then I thought we've got a thousand days left here Josh!" I seize both his hands. "You've gotta make the most of them!"

"Don't you think it's harder than it was before? Everything is such a battle."

"Remember darlin', your achievement has been the schmoozing on this very balcony with the swing votes. used to use op-eds as a form of inspiration and a reason to keep battling but now you have to play nice sometimes and you've pulled it off."

"We've pulled it off. But Sam, I'm getting tired."

"I know you are, we both are!" I take hold of his hands trying to ignore that he's been proclaiming that he's tired for a few months now. "We've worked our asses of but we can have a break now. Then we come back fighting. Because you'll be back fighting fit ready to inspire the staff and I don't wanna see them walking around here like we're finished."

"If you say so." Josh says doubtfully.

"I do say so! "I seize his hands. "JFK didn't pretend that challenges are easy when they are tough. He was determined to push the boundaries of civilisation and show what the free world is capable of!"

"I love it when you get all puffed up! The way your chest expands and you stand ten feet tall. You still wanna change the world, to get the best out of people and of course shoot for the stars."

"Just think we've given the Republican's a slap in the eye. The ones who wanna be living in 1955 when the world lived in terror of nuclear annihilation and Eisenhower occupied this building."

"And women and blacks knew their place, there was no swearing on TV, and sex was kept in its proper place." Josh adds with a grin. "We're gonna be in for a bumpy ride."

"Then we'll fasten our seat belts, right? But," I draw him back into my arms. "More kids can go to college" I murmur in his ear. "And schools can become temples," I add and he laughs as he releases me after giving me a firm kiss on the mouth.

"You never lose that sense of optimism do you?" He grins and looks a little younger.

"It may be battered and tarnished but yeah, and we da men Josh."

"It's our day of jubilee..."

"Dad, we're here." Jamie's voice brings me back to the present.

I look out of the window and the Washington Memorial still glistens but in the bright sunshine as we cross over the Memorial bridge.

TBC