Squid Party
Chapter 7: Campe Diem
The sky was clear and warm as Octavian led the Smashers back to the resort, moon casting them in a soft glow as countless stars flickered in the night. The boys casually chatted as they walked, their voices and ambiance of the quieting city enough to lull Orange to sleep. She wasn't one for hitting the hay so early, but something about the atmosphere just made her want to curl up and doze off. Being nestled in Lucas' soft, cozy hair certainly didn't help. She yawned loudly, making Ness stop and look at Lucas. The blonde froze, fear strewn across his face.
"Aw, is shumbody shweepy?" he playfully teased.
"Oh! Yeah..." Lucas feigned stretching and yawning. "Wow, I'm beat. Can't wait to, uh, hit the hay tonight."
"Don't worry, we're almost there," assured Octavian. "The resort's just down the road."
Lucas perked up. "We're not going to the hospital?"
Octavian paused, turning around. "Well... no? Did you need to go there?"
The blonde steeled himself for another lie. "...Uh, it's not too far from here, right? Since we're nearby, you, uh, mind if we go check on Orange real quick?"
Ness scowled. "Why? So she can throw more food at you?"
Lucas smiled sweetly. "Come on, Ness. It's been a long day. Maybe she'd appreciate it if someone went and said 'hi' to her. You'd want someone to do the same for you..."
Ness smiled sourly. "Yeah, but the difference between me and her is that I don't pelt people with edibles..."
"Oh! That's so nice of you!" gushed Octavian, popping up between them. "We can stop by there, no problem! Y'know, Blue would've done that himself, but he's been unconscious since the exhibition match."
"Is that why we didn't see him in any more fights?" questioned Lucas.
"Yeah..." He nodded. "Remember how weird he was acting earlier? Apparently, the poor guy was running on fumes. Not sure if you saw, but he actually passed out right before the match ended. I'm shocked he was even able to make it to the stage."
"He did look pretty beat," said Ness.
"I didn't want to say anything," muttered Lucas, "but his performance was awful..."
"I think I know what happened." Octavian began walking back towards the hospital, motioning the psychics to follow. "After the whole pool fiasco, Orange and Blue both got admitted to the emergency ward. You saw what happened to Orange, while Blue fainted from shock. Blue got discharged with the A-OK, but he insisted on staying with Orange. I think he might've been up all night looking out for her."
"Really?" asked Ness.
"I knew something was wrong with him earlier. He was texting just fine last night, but it took him forever to get back me this morning. That might've been the exhaustion kicking in..." He smiled faintly. "He's okay now, though. Just resting at home. It really means a lot for you do to this in his stead."
Lucas tried not to look up at Orange. "Uh, sure. It's the least I could do..."
Across the street and around two buildings was the Surgeonfish Hospital, the three arriving in a matter of minutes. Reaching the front doors, Octavian and Ness abruptly stopped. Confused, Lucas faced them.
"What's wrong? You're not coming?"
"Nah, man," answered Octavian. "Orange was already salty she couldn't go to the Inkvitational. The last thing she needs is to feel like we're throwing her a pity party. Tell her I said 'hi', though."
"Think I'll pass, too. She's in a hospital, so her ammunition probably consists of cold peas, mashed potatoes, and two-day old steak," explained a snarky Ness. "And for her sake, you better not have a speck of it on you when you get back."
Lucas rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. I'll be back in a second."
Walking inside, he was greeted by a dim, silent lobby and several curious jellyfish. He saw the bioluminescent staff toddling to and fro through the automated glass doors, but they skidded to a halt upon his entrance. The psychic stopped dead as all eyes fell on him. He tried to gauge their intentions, flashing them a worried smile when he couldn't. The creatures just stared at him as he cautiously walked down the hallway, hoping they weren't suspicious of his sudden late-night visitation...
Fortunately, the jellyfish never intervened and he made it to Orange's room safely. Once inside, he closed the door, breathing a sigh of relief as he approached the bed. To his surprise, the room had been cleaned since they left. The TV was turned off, the bed remade, and the ink in her vat replaced. If anything, the jellyfish seemed to not only know about Orange's absence, but expected it. This was a hospital; if any of their patients went missing, there'd be some sort of panic, right? Then again, Orange was a celebrity around here, known for her irrational and impulsive nature. If Lucas hadn't offered, she might've just found some other way to sneak out.
Lucas gnawed his lip in regret. In hindsight, he probably should've considered all of this before whisking Orange away like that. If the staff wasn't so nonchalant by her absence, he could've gotten into some real trouble and been suspect for kidnapping. ...Or squidnapping, as it were.
His concerned reflection met him as he stared into the inky vat, pondering if what he'd done was truly right. As he did, his concern turned to surprise as the pool showed Orange slowly opening her eyes. She blinked sleepily a few times before realizing where she was, a tinge of disappointment marring her face.
Lucas smiled. "Welcome back. Did you have a good nap?"
"...Yeah..." Orange groggily responded, rubbing an eye with her tentacle. She sighed loudly. "Guess the party's over, huh?"
"It was fun while it lasted, right?"
"..." The squid said nothing, contemplating his words and reflecting on the day.
Mistaking her silence for sleepiness, Lucas plucked her from his head and collected her in his hands. As she was lowered to the tub, she curled up her tentacles and sat in his palms. Gazing into the ink-filled container, she saw her own reflection and was surprised to see she looked the way she felt: reluctant.
She didn't want to go, and was disgusted and confused that she felt this way. ...Her reflection's eyes widened as the horrible, ugly truth blossomed inside her.
No... It wasn't that she didn't want to go.
She didn't want Squirt to go.
Her musings were interrupted as Lucas tilted his hands downward, letting her gently slip into the ink with a small plop. Once inside, Orange took deep, cleansing breaths, causing the ink to ripple in response. She relished as she dissolved and became one with the mucky essence once more.
"There you go. It's been a long day, so let's get some rest," came Lucas' muffled voice from above. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
Lucas was halfway to the door when Orange quickly reemerged with a loud splash.
"Uh, hey, Squirt!" She tensed as he turned around, not meaning to sound so urgent. "Uh, I mean... I'm sorry for the other day. I... wasn't looking where I was going and... I was kinda already mad, so I took it out on you, okay? ...So, like, we're even now, right?"
She paused, looking away. Man, sincere apologizing was hard. She was so used to doing it sarcastically that actually being sincere made her speech appear stilted. Her pitiful, yet earnest attempt made Lucas' face soften.
"It's okay. It's in the past. No hard feelings." He was about to leave for a second time when Orange called him again.
"Wait. Before you go, lemme see your phone."
He faced her once more. "What?"
"Your phone." She motioned with a tentacle. "Lemme see it."
"Uh..." Lucas took his phone out of his pocket, looking at it before reluctantly handing it over. "Okay...?"
Taking the phone, Orange rapidly tapped around on the screen before giving it back. "There. I added my number to your contacts."
Lucas wasn't sure he heard her correctly. "...You what?"
Orange tried to play it off. "C'mon, Inkopolis ain't no joke. You can't be slumming around here without anyone to fall back on. I'm surprised no one else did this yet. Just in case."
"Oh... Well, thanks." He smiled. "Did you want Ness' number, too-?"
"No," she curtly refused. "And don't give him mine, either."
"Okay, then..."
"Oh, and one more thing..." Her tentacles dangled over the vat. "Y'know that picture you and Fishbait took?"
"Yeah?"
"...Could you do me a favor and... send it to me?" She feigned indifference. "I mean, y'know, you ain't gotta do it now. Just send it whenever, okay?"
"Oh." Lucas nodded. "Sure, I'll do that."
"Good. Don't forget."
It was silent for a moment before Lucas asked, "Did you need anything else before I go?"
His tone insinuated even he was starting to catch on to her sudden fixation on delaying his departure. Orange huffed in disgust.
"No. You can get out now." She waved him away. "Go on. Scram, already. I need my beauty sleep."
"All right." He opened the door. "I'll see you later, then. Get well soon, okay?"
"Yeah, sure." Her arrogance melted into sincerity. "...Bye."
As Lucas closed the door behind him, Orange sighed. Slowly, she released the rim of her bucket, receding into the ink. A lone tentacle reached up and grabbed the remote from the nightstand. Hovering it over her bucket, she solemnly turned on the TV, hoping some noise would keep her company. The TV played quick snippets of various programs as she channel surfed, her head emerging enough to see what was playing.
69 channels later, she still couldn't find anything interesting to watch. Annoyed, she eventually settled on something random. The program depicted a concerned Inkling bursting through the double doors of an emergency room. He quickly went to a jellyfish receptionist seated at a desk who pointed him down a hallway. Darting away from the desk, he rounded a corner and was soon met by a jellyfish doctor. Their interaction was brief, but enough to send the boy into a full-fledged panic. Barreling into a nearby room, the distraught Inkling encountered a bedridden Octoling, sobbing and holding her abdomen in pain. Orange scoffed. She hated soap operas…
Just then, her phone chimed. Checking it, she saw it was a message from Lucas, the selfie included. "Here you go," it said. Looking over it, she smiled warmly.
A few taps of her tentacle saved it to her pictures.
A few more taps made it into her wallpaper.
Lucas' eyes slowly fluttered open, sunlight draping the room and rousing him from his sleep. He could hear Ness snoring nearby as his senses returned to him. He yawned and stretched before rolling over in his buoyant bed, the gentle rocking of the mattress threatening to lull him back to sleep. Reaching for his phone on the nightstand, he decided to check for any new messages as an excuse to prolong getting up. Last night, he and Ness'd sent their findings from the Inkvitational, their first official submission on the potential Newcomers. He wondered if any news had come back yet.
Aside from a few scattered discussions among some Smashers over the footage, there wasn't anything from the big hand himself. Lucas figured as much. Master Hand wanted them to send as much info as possible while they were there, and then get separate reports from both of them when they got back. It was ridiculous, but Master Hand wouldn't be Master Hand if he didn't make everything so meticulous.
Sighing, Lucas put his phone away and sat up. Facing Ness' bed across from him, he spotted his fellow psychic crazily sprawled out like he'd been suplexed into the mattress. The sheets were a crumpled mess spilling out onto the floor, a pillow somehow ending up on the other side of the room. Lucas laughed quietly. Ness was always such a wild sleeper. The blonde then stretched and rubbed his hair, suddenly disgusted at its texture. Toting Orange around up there for several hours surely left it a mess...
He got up, still messing with it, and walked into the bathroom. A nice wash would fix the problem. He figured he may as well take a shower while he was at it. As he walked into the bathroom, Ness' sixth sense must've alerted him he'd gone missing, causing him to frown and grumble. He turned over in bed, inadvertently rolling over the remote control tangled in the sheets. With a click of the "Power" button, the TV turned on. A hip-hop jingle played as Lucas began showering.
"Y'all know what time it is!" shouted Pearl.
"It's Off the Hook, coming at you LIVE from Inkopolis Square!" added Marina.
"So. Looks like the results are in for that... Inkredible Inkquisition or whatever..." huffed the Inkling.
"Inkvitational..." corrected the Octoling.
Pearl smacked her lips. "Whatever. Anyway, results are in and Team Omelette wins, two to one. Team Steak was more popular, but Team Omelette won more fights, so there you go. Get your crud in the square, nerds."
Marina cut her eyes at her. "Pearl, you're not really mad because I was on Team Omelette and you were on Team Steak, are you? This wasn't even an official Splatfest; neither of us won and neither of us lost."
"Whatever, Egghead," scoffed Pearl before pointing at the camera. "Anyway, forget that noise! Time to break out the hot dogs and marshmallows, peeps, 'cuz today, we're going camping!"
"Oh! That's right!" Marina giggled. "Ongoing our showcase with the Smashers, we'll be taking a trip to Camp Triggerfish to give them a taste of the great outdoors! The city life can be a bit taxing, so stop on by if you'd like to come with us for a little R&R! Transportation will be provided by bus, but we have limited seats available, so first come, first serve!"
A hip-hop beat sample kicked in as Pearl began an impromptu rap. "Yo, yo, yo! S'bout time to go! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show! Get on the bus, let's make some tracks! You can bring games and food and snacks! YEAAAAAH, BOIIIII!"
Marina tried to hide her embarrassment with a sheepish chuckle. "...In layman's terms, food and shelter will be provided at the camp, but feel free to take anything you'd like for the trip! We'll only be out there until the end of the day, so pack lightly!"
The hip-hop beat ended with a loud record scratch as Pearl began their outro. "And that's all the time we've got! Until next time..."
"Don't get cooked... Stay off the hook!" they both chimed.
The commercial that came on next was mostly drowned out by the shower at this point, but Lucas could've sworn he heard someone talking about free real estate. ...He was starting to come to terms with the fact that Inkopolian TV was just weird for the sake of being weird.
Not long after, Lucas exited the shower with a refreshed sigh. He briskly dried his hair with a towel, its natural fluff and sheen starting to return. He was in the middle of styling it when he there was a knock at the door.
"Coming!" he called, wrapping himself in a soft bathrobe.
Upon answering the door, Lucas was surprised to see Orange, poised to knock again. Seeing him, she dropped her arm and tensed. The Inkling looked good as new. She was back to her old self and wearing her regular attire, minus her headphones. Lucas found it was much easier to focus on the Inkling without the oversized attire on her head.
She cleared her throat. "Uh, hi, Squirt."
"Hi, Orange."
There was an awkward silence.
"They released me from the hospital this morning," she informed.
"I see." He smiled. "Glad you're feeling better."
"Thanks."
Silence.
"So... Whatcha doin'?"
"Well, I took a shower and now I'm just... relaxing. You know, morning routine and stuff."
"Oh. That's nice."
More silence.
Lucas eyed her curiously. "...Did you need anything?"
"Not sure if you saw the broadcast, but we're gonna go camping today. Camp Triggerfish. S'gonna be fun."
His smile returned. "Oh, yeah! I can't wait! I haven't been on a camping trip in forever."
"Cool. So, uh... Y'know, like... Get ready and stuff." She averted her eyes. "Meet me out front when you're done. Don't take too long."
Before Lucas could respond, she briskly walked off, as if she had somewhere else to be. Puzzled, he closed the door. That was... odd. As he turned to leave, there was another knock. Figuring it as Orange again, he opened it. This time, it was Blue. In his hands were the psychics' folded shirts.
"Good morning, Lucas! Forgetting something?" he joked, presenting the clothes.
"Oh, thank you!" Lucas accepted them. "I totally forgot about these! We left them behind yesterday, didn't we?"
"No problem, man! You'll be happy to know we washed them for you. And you're more than welcome to keep the Inkvitational shirts as souvenirs!" He winked. "But enough about that! Onto Day Three, huh? I hope you're ready to rough it up in the wilderness, because today, we're going camping!"
"Oh, I know."
He blinked. "You do?"
"Yeah, Orange just told me. I mean, I saw the broadcast, too, but-"
His face fell. "...She did?"
"Yeah, she was just here." He looked out into the hallway. "Looks like she's gone now, though."
Looking down, Blue crossed his arms in puzzlement. "Well, that's... weird. Why would she bother-?" He shrugged. "Well, whatever. But yes! Today, we'll be spending the whole day at our camping grounds! Yesterday, you learned about our present customs as Inklings and Octolings! Today, you'll be learning about our past customs as squids and octopuses! And what better way to get back to our roots than with good ol' Mother Nature?"
"Sounds like a plan. Anything special we need to do?"
"Just pack anything you wanna take and meet me in the lobby! We'll get your stuff taken to the bus for you!"
"Oh." Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but... Orange said to meet her out front..."
Blue waved it off. "Just ignore her. She's supposed to be resting at home, so I dunno why she's wandering around here. ...Probably drunk, for all we know."
"Uh, okay. If you say so. I'll let Ness know about the trip and we'll be down there in a bit."
"Great! See you there!" With that, Blue walked off.
As Lucas closed the door, Ness snorted and awoke. He lazily rolled around in bed before sitting up, wrapping himself in the sheets with a loud yawn.
"Mmm... Mornin', Luke."
"Morning, Sleepyhead."
"Any word on what we're doing today?"
Lucas tossed him his shirt. "How's a camping trip sound?"
Ness caught it with a wide grin. "It sounds fucking sweet."
Minutes later, Ness and Lucas arrived in the foyer, carrying several bags of snacks, drinks, and electronics for the trip. By the now, pair'd gotten familiar with the layout of the main room and its joined hallways, particularly the ones that led to the cafeteria. They'd have to explore the rest of the facility at some point. There was still so much to see.
Upon walking into the room, they were graciously greeted by various inhabitants in various ways. Some offered simple hellos and good mornings, while others bowed and waved excitedly. It was still so surreal. Being a Smasher may've been an honor, but inside the Smash walls, Ness and Lucas were considered little more than faces in a sea of superstars. Here, it was if they were royalty.
Gathered near the counter, a group of bellhop jellyfish spotted them and approached. They tipped they hats in greeting and motioned for their bags. The Smashers complied as the jellyfish dutifully toted the luggage outside. As they left, Blue walked up.
"Great! Looks like they've already taken your stuff to the bus. We're still loading it up, so it'll be a while before it's ready. C'mon, we can have some breakfast in the meantime!"
"Oh, good. I thought we were leaving right now," admitted Ness.
"Nah, man! We wouldn't leave you hanging!" Blue turned to leave down a hallway. "And if we were really pressed for time, we could always stop by McDonald's!"
"...Ah. Well, that's a relief." Lucas made sure Blue was a safe distance away before whispering to Ness, "...What's a McDonald's?"
As the boys left for the cafeteria, a lone Inkling glowered through the window from outside. Unbeknownst to the trio, Orange had been idling around the doorway, trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible as she waited for them to show up. Unfortunately, it was all for naught as Blue intercepted and led the Smashers away. Her aloof nature quickly turned irate as she returned through the revolving doors, glaring daggers in his direction. She should've known better than to let him roam around unchecked like that. It was almost like he was just waiting to show up and ruin her plan.
Whatever. Since that went over like a lead balloon, she'd just have to try the direct approach...
"...And we can sing songs and pitch tents and even start a barbecue out there! It's gonna be great!" finished Blue. The three were seated in the cafeteria, finishing their various trays of food.
"Sounds fun," said Ness, biting into some pancakes. "Last time we went camping, we almost got run over by a spaceship! Remember that, Luke?"
"Oh, yeah!" Lucas snickered. "Master Hand was so mad. He told Fox and Samus not to do that airshow so close to the house."
"If Pit hadn't been setting off all those fireworks, that might not've happened. There were so many of them, they probably couldn't see where they were going."
"Yeah! He just lit the entire box, didn't he? I'm shocked we didn't get hit by one of the rockets!"
"Ooh! Remember when the tents got set on fire?"
"And then Marth's cape set on fire?!"
"And when Corrin tried to put him out, he couldn't catch him 'cuz he was running around the yard like a nusto?!"
"Then he jumped into the lake?!"
"And Greninja had to save him?!"
"And the fireworks were still going off?!"
At this, the two burst into laughter. They were laughing so hard, it wasn't long before they started tearing up. Blue watched their camaraderie, biting his lip in anticipation. He longed to be part of their conversation, to be able to recall crazy shenanigans and fond memories in the wondrous household of Smash. Sadly, all he could do was force a faint smile, repressing his desires to be a Smasher with an uncomfortable chuckle.
Their laughing was halted as Ness caught someone out the corner of his eye. Looking up, he saw Orange. She stood there, face blank, a tray of food in her hands. His smile couldn't disappear fast enough.
"'Sup?" she flatly asked.
"'Sup?" he flatly replied.
Lucas looked up and smiled. "Oh. Hey, Orange."
Orange's face slightly lit up as the blonde addressed her. "Hey, Squirt."
"Oh!" Her appearance startled Blue, who chuckled nervously. "O-Orange! Uh, hey there... W-what're you doing here...?"
"Well, usually, when people go to a cafeteria, it's to eat something," she sassed.
"Shouldn't you be at home? Relaxing?" He grinned hard, clearly unsettled by her presence. "The doctor said you should be taking it easy..."
"I'm at a resort. That's the number one place to go when you wanna take it easy." She looked at an empty seat at the table. "Mind if I sit here?"
"Sure, if you want," offered Lucas.
"As long as she doesn't start throwing shit..." grumbled Ness.
Orange wrinkled her nose at him, but obediently took a seat. The tenseness only rose as she sat, Blue quietly panicking as she joined them. Orange and Ness continued to stare each other down as an oblivious Lucas went back to eating. Blue decided to try and lighten the mood.
"So! About the Inkvitational!" he belted. "How'd you guys like it? Did you have fun?"
"Yeah! Me and Luke-!"
"Well, I certainly had fun," interrupted Orange, making Ness scoff. "Theme was a little stupid, but, eh, we've had worse."
She noticed Lucas tense up at this, worried she'd spoil their little secret. A sly smirk told him otherwise.
Blue beamed. "That's great! Sorry you had to miss out, but at least you had good reception-"
"Also, that noob replacement you got was wack. You really couldn't find anyone else? Really?" she derided.
"Well, Octavian-"
"And what was going on with you? That noob was bad, but at least he had a reason. You, on the other hand, were awful. I've seen toddlers fight better."
Blue became defensive. "Now, wait a minute-!"
She scarfed down some scrambled eggs, talking with her mouth full. "Where even were you after that? Did they kick you out 'cuz you were so bad?"
"No, I-!"
"Whatever." She looked at Lucas, swallowing. "You had fun, too, right? Sorry your team lost, but at least it was more popular."
Lucas shook his head with a warm smile. "It's okay. The real winners are the ones who enjoyed themselves. No hard feelings."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I would've been on Team Steak."
"Actually, no," crassly added Ness. "That would not make us feel any better."
Orange rolled her neck, locking him in a dead, cold glare. Firmly, she responded, "Thanks... But I was talking to Squirt."
"..." Ness shot back at her with a glare of his own. He was really starting to get sick of her.
Blue saw things were getting ugly, excitedly jumping up with a goofy, desperate grin. "Hey, guys! Now that the Inkvitational's done with, why don't we get into the camping spirit with the official Camp Triggerfish song?! C'mon Orange, sing it with me! You know the words!"
"No," she flatly declined.
Ignoring her, Blue began marching in place, swinging his arms as he sang. "Triggerfish! Triggerfish! Pull that trigger, fish!"
"Ugh..." Orange facepalmed. "Wow dude, really? What're you, 12? Sit down and shut up. That's song's stupid, you can't sing, and you're embarrassing me."
"Triggerfish! Triggerfish...! Pull that… trigger... fish…" Blue's enthusiasm slowly petered out as she effectively killed the mood. Humbled, he sat back down and sheepishly chuckled.
Orange rolled her eyes, sighing in disgust before addressing Lucas again. "Sorry about that. He gets a little weird when he's trying to show off."
"Oh, no problem," assured Lucas. "Nothing wrong with showing off some spirit. We're always looking for that at Smash. The more spirited, the better."
"Well, that's-"
"Speaking of camp, anything special we gotta do before we go?" Ness quickly asked Blue, cutting off Orange. This time, it was her turn to scoff.
"We're still getting the bus ready, but I'll escort you to it in Inkopolis Plaza. All we gotta do is get on and we're off!"
"We'll take you the plaza," corrected Orange.
Blue looked at her, aghast. "What? Orange, you're not seriously thinking of going with us, are you?"
"And why not?" she challenged. "Am I not allowed to go?"
"Well, no, but the doctor said-"
"Well, the doc ain't here, so I say I'm coming with you."
"But you hate camping!"
"So?" She got in his face. "Y'know, I thought you wanted me to start being more helpful. Now that I'm trying to do that, you're saying you don't want my help? You need to make up your mind already. Do you want me to help out or not?"
"Ugh..." Not wanting to start a fight, Blue waved his hands in defense. "Okay, fine. You can come with us. Just make sure you take it easy, okay?"
She rebuffed him. "I'll take it easy when I'm dead."
"...Which you will be, if you don't start taking better care of yourself..." he tersely added.
Orange rolled up a sleeve. "And if you don't zip it, the wheels on that bus aren't the only things that're gonna go 'round and 'round."
"Y'know what?" Standing, Blue forced a grin at the Smashers. "I think it's high time we get outta here. You two look like you're finished eating, so why don't we skedaddle so we can beat the crowd and get the best bus seats?"
"Good idea." Ness also stood, fed up with Orange's company. "Lead the way, dude."
Orange frowned. "Uh, I ain't finished yet, bro."
Blue shrugged. "Ah, well, then you can... stay and finish. And then meet us at the plaza, all right?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Y'know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get rid of me..."
Blue nervously averted her gaze. "Now, what ever gave you that idea?"
"Fine, I'll just eat on the way." Orange joined them in standing. "Besides, if we're going all the way to the plaza, we may as well travel in style."
"...What's that supposed to mean?" Blue asked, dreading the answer.
She left the cafeteria. "Please don't tell me you were actually expecting us to walk there."
"And why not?" Blue followed, the Smashers close behind.
"Uh, because the plaza's like 30 minutes away on foot?"
"So what? The bus should be ready by the time we get there, so there's no point in rushing."
"Then why not have the bus come here?"
"Because it's not ready yet. I literally just said that..."
"Then why can't it come to us when it is ready?"
"Because the jellyfish have already taken the luggage to the plaza. If we make them come back, that'll just waste time. Then we're gonna have to tell all the riders to rendezvous here. Then we'll have to tell the bus driver to rendezvous here. That'll probably set us back a whole hour."
Orange was starting to lose her temper. "Then why can't everyone and everything just get on the damn bus and come here while we wait for it?!"
"Because the bus is not ready yet!" exploded Blue. "And it won't be ready for at least another half-hour because it's still en route from Urchin Underpass!"
At this, Orange stopped and furiously gawked at him. By now, the four were outside.
"So lemme get this straight..." she quietly seethed. "The bus... is not even in the plaza?!"
"No," firmly answered Blue, crossing his arms, "but everyone's already gathering there, so that's where we're going."
"What the ever-loving shit is wrong with you?!" she roared. "Urchin Underpass is closer to here than the plaza! If the bus isn't there yet, why the fuck can't you tell it to come here so we can get on it and then drive to the plaza?!" Blue opened his mouth to explain, but Orange cut him off. "Y'know what? No. Forget it. It doesn't even matter, 'cuz I'm still not walking to the plaza."
"Well, we're not driving the bus here, either," Blue said, with a hint of finality. "It'll mess up the schedule if we change location."
"Fine. I have other ways of getting what I want." Taking out her phone, Orange quickly dialed someone before holding it up to her ear. "Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, go on and bring it around."
Putting it away, she rudely stuck her tongue out at Blue, who raised an eyebrow. Ness and Lucas, who'd been watching them fight the whole time, exchanged worried glances. For a pair who applied to Smash as co-entrants, they sure didn't have a lot of synergy...
Seconds later, a sleek, black limousine pulled around the corner and parked in front of the group. The passenger's tinted window rolled down to reveal a jellyfish chauffeur as the driver. He tipped his hat in greeting.
Ness' eyes sparkled. "Aw, sweet! A limo!"
Lucas blinked. "Is this for us?"
"Like I said, I ain't walking to the plaza from here," explained Orange. "So if I can't ride there on a bus, I'll ride there in a limo."
Blue looked on in disappointment. "Did you get clearance for this?"
"What the-?!" She scowled. "Since when do I need clearance for anything around here?!"
He threw his arms up in frustration. "Because this wasn't in the plan! Y'know what?! If it's that big of a deal to you, the reason why I wanted everyone to meet in the plaza was so we could take the scenic route and let the Smashers soak in more of the city! It was supposed to be a time of bonding and sightseeing!"
"Really, now? Then let's vote." Orange whipped around to face the psychics. "Would you guys rather take the half-hour scenic route or a 10-minute limo ride?"
The psychics looked at each other before answering with a unanimous, "Limo ride."
"Gee, go figure." Orange snapped her fingers.
At this, the jellyfish chauffeur got out and went around the limo to open the doors for them. The Smashers excitedly clamored to each other as they climbed inside. Ecstatic, they scrambled to sit together on the leather seats in the back, ogling their surroundings in awe. The dark, stylish interior was complemented by neon lights radiating across the walls and ceiling. The tinted windows severed any connection to the outside, making the inside and its occupants appear bioluminescent. A small minibar holding illustrious drinks was situated on one side of the limo, the other side containing a small flat-screen TV, Nintendo Switch, and several Pro Controllers.
Blue groaned. Now that Orange was "helping", he was starting to see how detrimental it was. She'd always been very competitive, and this was just another chance to 1-up him. She couldn't just help out to make things easier; she had to outdo him at everything he suggested.
A horrifying thought crossed his mind. ...What if she was trying to ruin the Smashers' visit just to spite him? Even upon her release from the hospital, she never responded to his frantic text from the other night, and bringing it up now would be moot. For all he knew, she still hated their guts and wanted nothing more than for them to leave Inkopolis for good.
...No, he couldn't let that happen. Failure was not an option. He had to figure out a way to compromise and balance things out between them before she destroyed their chance at becoming Smashers forever...
The engine's revving jerked him from his thoughts as Orange stuck her head out one of the limo's windows.
"Well, I guess since you're being slower than a Super Sea Snail on acid, you can take the 'scenic route' instead!" she jeered, flashing a peace sign. "Deuces!"
"HEY!"
With a squeal of its tires, the vehicle sped off, Blue desperately trying to run after it. He soon abandoned the chase as it wildly rounded a corner and zoomed out of sight. Enraged, he yanked off his goggles and threw them at the retreating car, bellowing to the sky in pure, unadulterated frustration.
Orange heard his cries all the way from the limo, chuckling devilishly as they made their getaway. Rolling up the window, she reclined and sat spread eagle across from the Smashers, propping her arms up on the seat cushion behind her. Sitting adjacent to the partition separating them and the driver, she looked like a crime lord addressing some lackeys for a heist. Smugly snapping her fingers, the jellyfish chauffeur in front turned on the radio, causing a loud hip-hop song to assault its occupants. The bass was so loud, Ness and Lucas could feel it reverberating in their chests as it obnoxiously crackled through the speakers.
"So?! How do you like it?! Pretty boss, huh?!" shouted Orange.
"It's...! It's kinda loud!" screamed back Lucas, holding his ears.
"Yeah!" Ness winced, doing the same. "I'm all for pumpin' beats and all, but do you think you could turn that shit down?! I can barely hear myself talk!"
"Oh. Sorry." Orange snapped her fingers again, causing the music to stop. "Music always seems to be a lot louder when other people're around. Anyway, now that Mr. Killjoy's outta the picture, we can do things a bit more casually. No by the book crap from me. We freestyling this bitch now."
"I'll say!" Rolling his window down, Ness stuck his head out to look behind them. "But I don't think we should've left Blue behind. I know he wanted us to walk there, but now that we're driving, I feel a little bad not letting him come with us."
"He's fine, walking builds character," quickly dismissed Orange. She softened at Lucas. "How about you, Squirt? Enjoying yourself so far? Having fun?"
Lucas happily nodded. "I am. I was a little nervous coming here, but you guys've been so accommodating, it's more like a vacation than a visit."
This was news to Orange. "You were scared of coming? Why?"
He twiddled his thumbs. "I don't know. On top of it being a last-minute decision, I thought maybe you guys were expecting someone a little more... famous. Maybe like Mario or something..."
Orange regarded him for an uncomfortable moment before heaving a tense sigh. She hated having to admit she was wrong...
"...Yeah. Mario's cool and all, but we're probably a bit too newfangled for him. He's seen and done so much for so long, I bet he'd just be put off by all our fads and customs."
"That's not true," defended Lucas. "Mario is timeless. If he didn't see your true potential, he never would've invited you to his go-kart tournament."
Orange had an epiphany. "...That's right, you know Mario way better than any of us do, don't you?"
Lucas shrugged. "I guess you could say that, but you don't really have to know Mario to know he's always relevant and up to speed on everything. He has to be, considering he's our mascot. Being in a position of power doesn't make him look down on newer or lesser-known campaigns, though."
"Maybe so, but to be honest with you..." She smiled fondly. "I'm kinda glad he didn't come."
Now it was Lucas' turn to be surprised. "You... are?"
"Yeah." She crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap, assuming a more flattering pose. "We have more chemistry with you guys than Mario. Great guy, but I feel like we'd be too pressured to be all prim and proper around him. And in case you haven't noticed, formality ain't really our thing. It's easier with you two, since you're already so casual." She rolled her shoulders. "...Uh, no offense."
"None taken."
"Good." Seeing Ness was busy still lulling his head out the window, she added. "Because... I had a lot of fun yesterday. So now, I'm gonna return the favor."
"Oh?"
"Trust me, you ain't seen nothing yet. This visit of yours so far has been nothing but a snoozefest. Now that I'm back in action, things're gonna change around here." She nodded. "Just stick with me, Squirt, and I'll show you what Inkopolis is really all about."
Snapping her fingers again, the music resumed, the volume lowered to a more moderate level. It was still loud, but not deafening. Lucas was starting to notice Orange's attitude had done a 180 since yesterday. Instead of sulking and pouting, she was now rambunctious and playful. He wasn't exactly sure what brought about the change, but it was nice to see her loosen up.
"Since I didn't finish eating, we're gonna stop by McDonald's real quick. You want anything?"
At this, Ness pulled his head back in. "Ooh! Yeah, I could totally go for a burger or something right about now."
"Ness, we just ate," said Lucas.
"Aw, c'mon, Luke," Ness playfully nudged him. "Like, when're we ever gonna get another chance to go to a McDonald's drive-thru in a limo?"
"I don't even know what a McDonald's is..."
"You don't? Oh, well, we definitely need to go now. If anything, for your sake." Orange looked to the driver through the partition. "Yo, do me a solid and swing us by the closest Mickey D's so we can grab a bite real quick."
"Mickey D's? Where's that?" asked Lucas. "I thought we were going to McDonald's."
Orange looked at him, awed at his naivete before cracking a grin. "...Wow. You are such a pleb."
Ness glowered as Lucas reluctantly grinned back. The blonde could only surmise that was a compliment... Whatever it meant.
Moments later, the limo pulled up to a humble-looking building marked by a large sign with two golden arches on it. The faint smell of burgers and fries wafted through the air as the jellyfish maneuvered the vehicle through the parking lot and around the building's side. A few cars were in front of them, making a line that circled around the eatery. Each one stopped at a menu board, made their selection, then pulled forward as the next car took its place. As the limo waited, several cars pulled up behind, creating a never-ending line of waiting customers. Lucas was intrigued by its efficiency, but also felt a little silly being enamored by something so commonplace.
It wasn't long before it was their turn, the driver easing up to the speaker as Orange let the window down. The contraption crackled before a chipper voice squeaked, "Hello there, and welcome to McDonald's! What can I get you today?"
Ness ordered first, much to Orange's annoyance. "Yeah, can I get a Big Mac, large fires, and a large soda? Thanks!"
The Inkling went next, but not before cutting her eyes at Ness. "...I'll have two Number 9's, a Number 9 large, a Number 6 with extra dip, a Number 7, two Number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda."
Lucas tried not to balk at such a ridiculous order. Ness didn't seem to care, as he was too busy looking her over in disdain.
"Sure thing! Anything else?" asked the speaker.
"Your turn, Luke. Know whatcha want?" asked Ness.
"I'm not really hungry, but I guess I can get a little something..."
"Well, whatever you do, don't get a Number 15," warned Orange. "I heard that shit's corrosive, like it's lettuce with people's feet in it."
Lucas' face contorted in horror. "Ew! Is that true?!"
"I dunno." She shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, though."
"Uhhhhhh... Ooookaaay...?" More confused than ever, Lucas leaned past Ness to peer out the window. He tilted his head in confusion. "Uh, y-yes? Hello?"
"Yes, sir! Anything else you would like?"
"Yes, I'd like to get... Um, uh... Ah, maybe... Uhhh..."
Lucas stalled. It was then he realized he couldn't finish his order; not because he didn't know what he wanted, but because he couldn't order what he wanted. The menu board, while containing some pictures of their selection, was in Inklish and completely illegible. Orange was native to the language, while Ness'd clearly been to one of these places before, but Lucas was at a loss.
Seeing his despair, Orange asked, "What's wrong, Squirt?"
"...Uh, I can't read the menu..." he shamefully admitted.
The three flinched as a car horn blared from behind them. Immediately, Orange looked out the window opposite to the drive-thru and glared at the offender. The driver leaned out his window and did the same. To her surprise, it was Jeremy, the noob from yesterday. This only furthered her rage.
"C'mon, move it!" He honked again. "Some of us would like to get outta here sometime today!"
She angrily shook a fist. "Ah, hold your seahorses! We're trying to make a decision here!"
"Well, could you make it a little faster?! I'm trying to get to the stupid plaza for the stupid camping trip, and I'm sure everyone else behind me is, too, so hurry up, stupid!" He honked a third time.
At this, Orange lost it. "Jeremy, if you honk that horn one more time, you won't have to worry about being late, 'cuz I'm gonna kick you all the way to the plaza myself!"
Going wide-eyed, the Inkling buttoned his lip, retreating into the car and sinking behind his steering wheel in surrender.
"...Yeah, that's right. You sit there and shut up..." Orange grumbled, pulling her head back inside. Her fury ebbed as she spoke to Lucas. "So, you know what you want, you just can't read it?"
"Yeah, but it's okay if-"
"Don't worry, I got it," she warmly assured. Hanging her head back out, she shouted, "Yeah! Lemme get a hot fudge sundae, too! Extra fudge!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but our ice cream machine is broken. Anything else?"
Orange smiled flatly, as if expecting that. "Of course it is... Fine! Nothing else, then!"
"Hey, wait a minute!" protested Ness.
"Okay! Your total is-"
"Uh, yeah, no. We kinda got some superstars back here. Y'know, the guys visiting from Smash? The ones who're entitled to everything for free during their visit?"
"Oh!" yelped the speaker. "I'm so sorry! Please, just pull around and we'll get you your food!"
"Good." A snap of her fingers and the limo pulled forward.
"Dude, what the hell?! You didn't get anything for Lucas!" barked Ness.
"It's okay. I'm not really hungry, anyway," added Lucas.
Orange ignored them as they rounded the corner and pulled up to the drive-thru window. A jellyfish waited patiently, an Octoling handing everything to him as he handed it to the customers. His rubbery arms stretched so far from the window, no one from the limo even had to lean out to grab the food. Once finished, the Octoling joined him at the window.
"Here you go!" she chirped, politely bowing with the jellyfish. "Thank you so much for visiting! It was a pleasure meeting and serving such famous heroes! Have a great day!"
"Excuse me, ma'am," said Ness. "I hate to bug you, but could we place another-?"
"Order? We already did, and the damn machine is broken." Orange rolled her eyes the employee. "Like always, right?"
"Yes, but-"
"Understandable, have a nice day." Snapping her fingers, the chauffeur zoomed out of the drive-thru and back on the road.
Not the least bit fazed from their abrupt exit, Orange began methodically arranging her food as the Smashers watched her in silent confusion. Digging around in one bag, her twintails rose as if they had minds of their own to grab and rummage through other bags. They each pulled out carefully-wrapped food, either collecting it in a pile next to their owner or putting them back in other bags and pushing them off to the side. Amid her incessant bag-crinkling, Ness spoke.
"...Y'know, it would've been nice if you actually got Lucas something instead of gorging your greedy ass with 10,000 calories of food."
"I just ate," reminded Lucas. "It's not that big of a deal..."
Looking up from fiddling with her food, Orange squinted hard at Ness. "Hey numbnuts, did it ever occur to you that I might've actually gotten most of this for Squirt?"
Ness eased up. "Wait, what?"
Lucas was also taken aback. "Huh?"
She gestured to herself. "Fishbait, look at me. Do I really look like I can eat all of this by myself? Maybe you could, but not me." She went back to scrounging around in her bags. "The sundae was just an afterthought. Y'know, on the off chance the world was ending and the damn thing actually worked for once."
Ness' shock melted into suspicion. "...Why?"
"Dude, he's never been to a McDonald's before. How's he supposed to know what they have or what he wants? I just ordered in advance for him." Her eyes glanced up, face never leaving her bags as she darkly muttered, "...You're supposed to be his friend; if anything, you should've ordered something for him."
The capped psychic furrowed his brow, inwardly enraged by her remark. The only thing that pissed him off more than people bothering Lucas was people challenging their relationship. Lucas shrank in his seat, intimidated by Ness' incensed glare.
"...I don't think I like your attitude..." he quietly warned.
"Well, I know I don't like your attitude," Orange sassed, pulling out a burger. Her anger dissipated again as she gathered the remaining bags in a tentacle, extending it across the way as an offer to Lucas. "Here you go, Squirt. Some of my personal favs are in here. Hope you ain't picky."
"But I-" Lucas had little time to object before the items were deposited in his lap. "I'm not hungry..."
She smiled. "You can save them for later at the camp, then. We got grills and stuff out there, so don't worry about eating them cold."
"Oh. Uh, thanks?" He flashed back a timid smile, but Ness' brooding made it falter. Looking to his fellow psychic, he asked, "Ness? Aren't you going to eat your food?"
"...Sorry, but I don't think I'm hungry anymore." He pushed his bag off to Lucas. "Looking at Orange for so long has made me lose my appetite."
"Feel free to get out and walk the rest of the way," she retorted, tentacles fixing her a drink from the minibar as she continued eating.
Ness was about to take her up on that, but then he remembered Lucas. He looked so comfortable in spite of what was going on, he couldn't bare to make him abandon the limo just because he had beef with Orange. He snorted.
Watching Orange like a hawk, he plunged a hand into his bag and brandished his Big Mac. Ripping it from its wrapper, he tore into the thick burger like a pouty barbarian, never taking his eyes off of Orange. The Inkling glared back as she angrily wolfed down her own burger, stopping only for the occasional chug of her champagne. Lucas looked back and forth between the two, puzzled by why they were eating so voraciously.
He then looked down at the food he'd been given. While he still wasn't hungry, he'd have to try this stuff when he was. ...It must've been really good for them to be devouring it like that.
