Author Note: A big apology to anyone trying to follow this story because this gap was awfully big but I lost my internet connection for like a month. In saying that I'm going to try to get at least 3 chapters up this weekend, I hope that might make up for it slightly.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with NCIS but I do covet Abby's hippo!

I remember the gentle, sensitive honeymoon period that went on after our first big argument. It was a roller coaster of emotion because although we were both so romantic with each other, the fear of offending each other was constant. I smiled to myself remembering one particular offence, it wasn't funny then but it is in retrospect.

"Hey, I'm back."

"How was Guantanamo? So they let you leave?" I grinned at her as I spun on my chair.

"It was good, was interesting competing with the local NCIS agent. Tony got on with her better then me… funny that."

"Hee hee, did Tony make a new friend?"

Kate raised her eyebrow, "Well he was sleeping in the nude."

My jaw dropped. "He was completely naked!?"

"Yeah, it was really hot!"

At this point I thought my jaw would fall off, or that I would cry so I turned away and tried to act really busy, which was a bit difficult when my desk was clear of evidence.

"Hey, what's wrong? What did I say?"

I gathered my strength and turned back around, "Nothing, I'm fine."

She looked at me curiously and slipped her hand into mine, "No you're not, now what is it?" With her staring at me I couldn't lie, but I could barely bring myself to say it.

"You really find Tony attractive?"

"Huh?"

"You said he was naked and you said it was hot!" I felt panicky now as if she would deny it or accuse me of being overly sensitive.

"Abby…" I now know that Kate's silence was in disbelief but then it terrified me.

And then her cell phone rang. "Yeah, okay I'll be right up."

She looked at me, sighed and left.

I went home when my shift ended, for once, so that she couldn't come back and tell me what I didn't want to hear.

However Caitlin Todd was never one to give up easily, so when my phone started ringing I had a sneaking suspicion whose voice I was about to hear. Then again life is full of surprises, "Hello?"

"Ha ha, ha ha ha!"

"What the… who is this?"

"I'm, ha ha, sorry." More giggling and snickering.

"Kate? Is that you?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, ha ha ha, I can't stop!"

"What's made you laugh so much?"

"Well, I was thinking about what I was going to say to you while the phone was ringing and I started myself off."

"But why?" I should have seen this coming but feeling afraid kind of messes up your perspective.

"You don't know…? You thought I thought Tony was hot?!" I braced myself as Kate started laughing again.

"But you said that. You said he was naked and then you said it was hot!"

And finally Kate composed herself long enough to give me an answer. "I meant it as a reason not as a compliment to him. The weather was scorching!"

"You… you meant the temperature?"

"Yeah and I'm sorry for laughing so much but the thought that I'd find Tony attractive…"

"Well it's not that weird, is it?"

"It is when I have such a beautiful, no, such a hot girlfriend to look at when I'm at work. Why would I be admiring Tony when you're there?"

I giggled and decided to push it just a little bit, "Well what about when I'm toiling away in my lab, do you admire Tony then?"

I heard my sweetheart start laughing again, "Of course not! Because then I just look at you in my head, and remember and, seriously I have to stop doing that though because he keeps asking me why I'm blushing!"

Then I started laughing along with her, which felt really good. It felt great to hear her call me her girlfriend; it made me feel warm and safe. Yet again I had that sudden fear so much so I remember I hung up.

I ignored the fear again, I did every time it reared it's ugly head. I pushed it away again and again until it was too late. At the thought of this and all the happiness I've lost I start to cry. I manage to make myself stop before Gibbs appears in my lab, but when he made a joke and I don't even smile he knows something is wrong.

"Hey." He pushes my hair out of my face, "What's up?" The look of concern on his face is heart breaking, but I still couldn't be truthful to him.

"Oh, just you know, having a bad day." I shrug and walk away from him.

"You're not going to tell me what's wrong?"

I shake my head and close my eyes, I don't want him to see the pain trapped there inside of them.

"That's okay. You don't have to talk, don't even have to look at me." I hear him whisper as he wraps me in a tight hug and lets me shake loose the last few tears I have left in me before I dehydrate. And then he hands me a Caf-Pow, kisses me on the cheek and whispers, "Back to work, need those answers soon."