A/N: Hey sorry about the long update!! I went through a Twilight phase over the last few weeks. I read all the books and even bought the movie when it came out! I've been trying to gather some new ideas for this story and just a few days ago I bought The Notebook, both the book and the movie. I was inspired but I have to admit I had a sort of writer's block when reading the Twilight series because I was so engrossed. But I'm back and I will go back to my regular schedule of two chapters per week. It was like a break for me and I'm glad to be back in my "Inuyasha freak" self. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please R & R!!
*Oh, just to let you know the city that Kagome mentions, Misawa City, it's a real place. The base I lived on was right beside it and was named after it and I went there often and the way it's described, it's true from my perspective. I loved it! I miss Japan so much, I consider it my second home! Okay I'll shut up now and let you read this chapter...*
Chapter 7: Past and Future
Kagome's P.O.V.
Some nights like this I lay awake because so many things cloud my mind. Sleep had been avoiding me lately and I've considered sleeping pills but…even if I have a dreamless sleep, my thoughts come rushing back to me when I first open my eyes.
It's 2:30 in the morning and I still can't force myself to close my eyes which I so desperately want. I haven't moved since I first settled in my bed. The fluffy, soft pillow I hug tightly against me is somewhat relaxing while my head rests against its double. My equally soft aqua blue comforter covers everything below my waist, with the exception of my right leg sticking out. The breeze coming from my fan across my room keeps me from burning up. As much as I love the comfortable softness of my pillow, nothing can compare to resting against the chest of the man I love. I feel at ease when I'm with him.
Even in the darkness I glance around my room, looking for something to occupy my mind. With little light coming from my matching aqua curtains this late at night I can manage to single out certain objects. My eyes land on certain pictures on the dresser next to my bed. Some of them my family before my father died...pictures of me and Sango when we were growing up, pictures of all four of us and a lot of me and Inuyasha together. I can't help it if I love to have so many of me and my boyfriend.
I haven't always lived here. I shut my sleep deprived eyes due to an oncoming headache. I can see a lot of my younger memories if I just remember hard enough. My mom told me that I was born north of here, in place known as Misawa City. I remember bits and pieces of it and I could tell it was crowded but it was friendly. I see pictures of my old house and I can't help but smile. My mother and I would take walks around the neighborhood and oddly enough, I wasn't afraid. It was a peaceful, friendly atmosphere, despite the overcrowding problem. I was only four when my mother and father decided that it was time to find a bigger home. It was sad for me because I liked our small little house. My mother was reluctant too because we were moving southward to a smaller town. My father always told me to look forward to the future and what it has in store for us. I still follow his words even 12 years later. So we moved here into this house. I wasn't sure what I would gain from this hard move but I was hoping for something good. Mom also tells me that I handle change very well and I guess that's true. I'm never sure of myself sometimes but I trusted my mom.
About after a long year of settling into this new house and small town, it was time for me to start kindergarten. I was scared beyond all hell; normal for every kid starting school. My parents encouraged me and I slowly made my way into a room full of unknown faces. Luckily, I wasn't alone for long because when I sat down, a girl sat right next to me. She said her name was Sango and I shyly told her my name. I was always timid, shy- I lacked social skills to be frank. In fact I still have my trademark shy smile but I don't use it as often as I once did. So Sango and I chatted away, asking about what our favorite colors were and all that 'get to know you' questions the first day. Needless to say that the girl had a lot to say and to this day, Sango always has something new to talk about. I love her as a best friend and we are each others partners; two peas in a pod; inseparable buddies. I could tell her anything and she would listen. She supported me and helped me through the tough times; especially when we got a call saying that my father got killed by being pushed from behind and his car rolled out into a busy intersection. I still curse the bastard that made my father's life end and to this day we still don't know who did it. I really don't like to talk about my dad but I think my mother had the worst reaction. Souta was born just a year before and we were struggling. I was glad Sango was able to help me through it. She knows what it's like for me. I can count on her for many things.
I went through the grades; with my best friend with me I felt like I was starting to finally fit in. My 6th grade was cool for many reasons but I think the main reason why it was one the best years of my life was because that was when I first laid my eyes on the new boy. He was new, like I was when I first moved here. I don't know what first attracted me to him. Maybe it was his outstanding, unusual flowing silver hair. Or maybe it was his gorgeous, shining amber eyes that pierced right through me, but I think it was mostly his voice. Even at only 10 years old, Inuyasha had the most…beautiful voice I've ever heard. It was smooth but I could hear a mysterious, sexy rough tone around it. That was the first time I have ever taken the time to look at a boy. Even 6 years later and being a couple, I still don't know what it is about him.
When I first saw him look at me, I knew I was doomed. There was no way I could ever look at another boy the same way. That was when my heart started pounding rapidly for the first time. I was scared to tell the truth. I kept a little part of hope that one day, we might be friends but…a lot of problems were in the way. As we went though Jr. High a lot of guys asked me out. They were nice but persistent and I was tired of telling them no. Sometimes I would see Inuyasha looking my way when I was being asked and I saw how he turned away with something that looked like regret or fear in his features. I would politely decline after but when the same guys kept telling me about how pretty I look and how can I refuse them I started to get really pissed. I was saving my first date with someone that I wanted to go out with, someone that I was waiting for to ask me. But I feared that he never would. He told me that he was scared to ask me out because he didn't know how I felt. But I'm rather relieved, glad that we are together now. I wouldn't have been with anyone else. I sometimes wonder how I was lucky to catch his eye but I'm glad I did. I couldn't ask for anyone better than him. I know I may be thinking like a girl who has nothing else to think about except her boyfriend but…I can't help who I love.
In my eyes, he's perfect. Inuyasha, the most handsome man I've ever met, is nothing short of sweet and protective. He might appear as a guy who you wouldn't want to mess with if something's wrong but he's straightforward. He isn't afraid to say what he thinks and he holds nothing back. A lot of his qualities are hidden underneath that bad boy facade but I can see all of them. A few of his qualities are mostly obnoxious, rude, and stubborn but that's what people that don't know him see. After three years I practically know him inside and out. He can be charming when he wants to be, caring, courteous (but only around me) and he's brave, courageous, and thoughtful. Most of the time when we're alone he's a completely different person but I love him just the same. Just thinking about how he protects me and all he holds dear is enough to make me smile. He's very much my knight in shining armor; not possessive, just very protective of me. I wouldn't blame him though, he's struggled to get where he is now. I know he loves me and he's willing to do almost anything to see me happy and smile. So long story short: Bad Boy on the outside, total sweetie on the inside. I never knew how intense my feelings for him were and I think that will never disappear as long as I'm near him. I love him…so much, that I would die than tear myself away from Inuyasha and that's the honest truth. I would trust him with my life; as I have done for the past three years. And knowing that Inuyasha would never hurt me; gives me the comfort I need when I'm not in his embrace like I usually am.
Moving from my side to lying on my back, I feel a little better but still, that feeling of wanting to sleep still evades me. I sigh in frustration as I try to get at least a few hours sleep before my alarm wakes me up.
I think that my thoughts are similar to a lot of girls out there; experiencing their first romantic relationship. Mine isn't exactly original but I don't care. It doesn't matter because I have who I want to be with. I sometimes fantasize what's in the future for me and Inuyasha. I see myself being with him…and starting a family and all the good things that follow. I know deep down that's something that I have to wait for and see. And I also know that there's no guarantee that it will happen but I pray that somehow it will. He's such a good man and I see that he does care for me; otherwise we wouldn't be together for this long. We might have ups and downs along the way but…my heart keeps telling me that I have found my match and to stick with it. And I will follow it…and I will try and follow Inuyasha no matter where life takes us. I just pray that he will let me. I will continue to love him no matter what. I don't think there's another word; any action; any thought that doesn't betray me.
I toss and I turn but that still makes me stay awake. I swear some people somewhere think that me staying awake is hilarious and is laughing their asses off. I slam my blue pillow down that I was hugging onto my face to try and help me. Growling isn't getting me anywhere but more tired and frustrated. While I'm imagining killing someone due to my lack of sleep I wonder if anyone else is up at this hour.
Inuyasha's P.O.V
No one in their right mind is up at this fucking hour. It's almost 3 in the morning and I can't get any freaking sleep! Why must the Kami torture me like this?! At least the cool night air is a bit refreshing…and looking up at the barely visible moon helps me think. I can feel the cool marble underneath my bare arms as I stare out from my bedroom balcony. I come out here so I can clear my head but not this late. Other than my lake retreat; this is the other haven that I can escape to with no one to bother me. The breeze ruffles my hair as I feel it across my bare back. I gaze at the stars, billions of them gazing down at me.
Many thoughts this late at night is weird. Strange as to why I would think of so many things at such an inconvenient hour. I guess it can't be helped. My past has been corrupted but I guess it was okay. I used to live south of here, in a small town where the woods surrounded us. I love the woods…it gives me a sense of…peace and relaxation. My mother also loves the nature that we grew up in. She has flowers surrounding her all the time and many paintings of mountains, valleys, oceans…I could go on forever. And when my father died when I was four, I sensed that my mother nearly gave up. I could tell it was so hard on her but I can't say anything. I barely knew my father. I would see him on and off and I remember what he looked like: Powerful and strong. That's what he was to me. He and my mother loved one another; that I could tell from a distance. When he died, mom was so upset and so sullen that she wouldn't talk for days on end. She would stop taking walks in the gardens and/or sit under an old oak tree in our yard. I tried to help her out of it and little by little, I would see her the way she was. I spent the next few years of my childhood with her, taking care of her after getting home from school. She always wanted the best for me. She was always a meek and kind-hearted person and always thought of me before herself. She still does that, even though I don't want her to push herself. I love her though, I will always love her. No one can take that away. I never knew much about my deceased father…but at least I have a loving mother.
I also remember when I was 10 years old mom decided it was time to move on. She seemed happy even though she was reluctant to leave the place that meant so much to the both of us. I would miss the outdoors and the trees that seemed never-ending. I was kind of depressed; being in a new home and having been in the same house since I was born. It was cool though, I had my own bathroom and a balcony that outstretched quite a bit; the one I am standing on now. I would be starting in a new school and that frightened me. I am never one to scare off easily and few things scare the hell out of me…and that was one of those times. That year was one that many things happened:
First, I met the perverted dork that's now my best friend, Miroku. I don't know what happened exactly: we met, talked and even when I first whacked him across the head, he wouldn't stop talking. I have to admit I am not a people person but Miroku…well I have to thank that little dork because he helped me socialize. I wasn't one much for conversation but he didn't care. He didn't point out my flaws and never judged me. Sure his mouth is his weapon for getting beaten all the time but I still stick by him. Why, I don't know…and I still don't know today. But other than Miroku, I also came across the shyest yet most beautiful girl I've ever seen. All girls think I'm hot and have the audacity to touch me and start flirting with me. I'm not conceited though but I do have a short, quick temper. Every girl just wouldn't leave me alone. Yet that one shy, timid and cute girl so happened to catch my eye and very few girls have held my interest but not for very long.
The night air is still light as I rub my face, imagining what I must look like right now. I am tired but I still don't fall asleep like I want to. My mind is refusing to stop all these memories that happened so long ago. The nearly invisible moon still shines and the stars haven't stopped. I have to admit though; the moon has always fascinated me. Closing my eyes and breathing out a few times, I drift through memory lane; while still hearing the natural night life and feeling the wind all around me.
I didn't know what to think of Kagome at first. All I saw was someone who only talked to another girl: Sango and always paid attention to the teacher. Sometimes I would see her glance at me and she would turn her head; blushing like crazy. At first I thought "Oh boy here we go, another drooling wench with nothing better to do than to follow me around and irritate the hell out of me!" But I was wrong. She only looked at me, never talked more than a few single words to me. Her eyes that were so clear and so…dazzling, I couldn't do anything when I looked at them. In just a few short weeks, I was hooked; line and sinker. Her eyes that remind me of the sweet and soothing color of coffee are what had attracted me to her in the first place. Being only 10 at the time I didn't know what hit me. I was too young to understand love. Just a simple elementary and Jr. high school crush, nothing more but once again I was proved wrong. Her eyes and her voice is what lured me in deep until I couldn't stop myself. I always thought that she had a quiet voice but still sounded like a songbird to me. Now usually I don't look at little details and I don't take the time to but Kagome changed all that. Aside from a few others things, she is all I think about now. Just the image of her is enough for me to start talking about her. I will admit I thought she was pretty when we first met but now she is even more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. She's meek and fragile but still the most kind-hearted, strong spirited and most spectacular creature I've ever come across. I'm not saying that just because she's my girl but because it's true. I don't know what I would have done in my life now if she wasn't here.
Tearing my view from the sky, I rest my head against my arms, which are pretty brisk from the now chilly air. I can feel exhaustion creeping up and my breathing is slowing. I don't want to move but the bed sounds pretty inviting right now. After pondering for a few moments I head in into the warm light less room. My eyes remain closed as I feel the edge of my bed and plop face first into the pillows where I would remain until someone in the morning will come and yell at me to get up and then I would be back to normal; which usually is one of the helpers here at the house.
I heard from some random source that "Love is the most powerful force in life" and now I'm sure that's possibly true. I would never have known what love was if I didn't have the special someone in my life. I don't think I could ever live without her: her face, her smile…even her ferocious temper. She can be pretty scary sometimes when she's pissed off and I do well to steer clear until she cools. But I love her anyway…I know I will always love Kagome. Even when we have fights and we disagree now and in the future, I will forever cherish and love her. I would do anything to keep her by me and someday, the possibility of marriage will be an option. I will not let anyone stop me from holding, protecting and loving her as long as there is breath in my body and no one will ever break our special bond…that I am absolutely positive about.
