Hello all readers (that is if there are any of you left)! I can't believe how long I've gone without an update on this story. Honestly, I was getting worried that my story was turning into nothing and I took a break from it but I've found my way and I'm ready to write again. So read on!
-whit
Ch. 7 We all need a break
The sunlight radiated in the sky as it began to set. Almost like it was saying goodnight; slowly and making sure to leave its mark. Brooke breathed in the scent of the night and thanked god it was the weekend. Dealing with another day of school was not an option. As Brooke made her way around the tree's and path's she realized how calm it was outside; it should never be calm outside a hospital. Wasn't that the definition of irony? Brooke shrugged and made her way over to a bench that she had made home the past week. Whenever she got a chance she would come out and sit on this bench; Brooke didn't know why she picked this bench out of all the benches but she had grown fond of the place it was in. It was perfectly situated outside between a few trees and across from the garden the hospital had grown.
Brooke sat down and leaned against the wood. With all that happened today Brooke had no idea how to take it all in. With Peyton leaving Brooke couldn't help but feel like a big part of herself was leaving with Peyton. And it seemed anything but fair.
--l—
With Haley and Deb in Nathan's room and Dan Scott walking towards him, Lucas knew he needed to get away. He stood up from his chair and headed for the door.
"Son." Dan's voice rang in Lucas' ears.
Lucas turned around swiftly and glared at Dan. "I am not your son so don't you dare call me that. Do us all a favor and stay the hell away from Nathan. You being here does not make you a good father." Lucas turned away again.
"Someone has to take care of the bills…son." Dan said but Lucas didn't turn around.
Brooke had been gone for awhile and Lucas desperately needed to be near her. He had no idea where she would be but he knew she wouldn't leave the hospital; that just meant Lucas would have to canvas the outside perimeter. As he walked around Lucas noticed how beautiful the outside of the hospital was and saw why Brooke would choose to come out her to clear her head. After a few minutes, Lucas caught saw of a figure slumped against a bench. The features and hair confirmed that it was Brooke.
"Hey pretty girl," Lucas said quietly as he got closer.
Brooke immediately shot up and wiped the tears away from her face. "Hey," she said back just as quietly.
Taking a seat next to her Lucas wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pushed some hair off her tear covered face. "What's wrong?"
But Brooke didn't respond, she just shut her eyes tightly; willing the tears that welled up inside to disappear.
For a moment Lucas didn't push the subject but he knew that letting this go and pretending Brooke was fine would only make everything worse.
"C'mon pretty girl…tell me. I'm here for you, don't shut me out now."
Brooke scoffed, "Says the boy who shuts down whenever something goes wrong," and the first few tears made their way down Brooke's face.
Lucas grasped at something to say, anything that would make Brooke understand that he was trying to change. As Brooke moved around on the bench Lucas could tell she was getting uncomfortable and therefore getting ready to leave him.
"You're right…" Lucas finally said, "…when it comes to tragedy's and tough moments I curl up. I know I've done that in the past and probably recently too but I really am trying to change Brooke. But I can't do that if you won't let me."
"I'm not stopping you Lucas…"
"Then you need to let me in. We need to talk baby, because right now we are walking around in a comatose state and we can't keep going on like this."
Brooke looked at Lucas as if a light bulb just went off. "You're right we can't go on like this."
This comment made Lucas worried and he stood up just as soon as Brooke did. "I'm still really angry and upset about the kiss Lucas and I've let you off the hook this past week. I laid it all out on Peyton and now she's gone…"
"You didn't make Peyton leave Brooke…" Lucas interrupted.
"Really? Because all week I've pushed her so hard I was hoping for a reaction like this and now that I got it I don't know what to do."
There was a pause and Lucas just waited for Brooke to continue; it was obvious she wanted to.
"This…" Brooke motioned between her and Lucas "…is not working right now and with all that's happening I can't deal with it."
"You can't deal with our relationship?" Lucas asked scared. "Brooke you can't give up on us right now…you just…can't." Lucas pleaded.
Brooke shook her head, "I didn't say I was giving up Lucas but our relationship is falling apart and right now I can't pick up the pieces. There are other things that are too important; it'll just have to wait."
"Too important…" Lucas mumbled to himself and then looked up at Brooke. "If we don't work on "us" Brooke we're just going to keep on falling apart."
"What do you want me to do Luke?" Brooke yelled as more tears made a path down her face. "I can't be everything for everybody. Something has to give Luke because I am fucking tired."
"Nobody's asking you to be anything Brooke…" Lucas said in a calming tone.
"If you really think that than you have no idea what's been going on the past few months." Brooke said and when Lucas gave her a confused look she continued, "I've had to be your cushion Luke…" Brooke pointed at him, "…when you fell and the arms that picked you back up. I've had to pretend that it didn't kill every part of me when you ran into that building after her. I've had to learn to deal with a girl who wants to bring me down and your constant defense of her," Brooke said referring to Rachel. "I have to make sure Haley doesn't lose it because her husband, her true love," Brooke choked out, "is lying in a hospital bed and has yet to wake up. I have to tell her that when she has the baby I'll be there for her one hundred percent. At the same time I have to be upbeat and promise her that Nathan will make it; that it's too soon for him to leave. My best-friend just walked out on me and I'm so torn apart that I can't decide if it's the best or worst thing that's ever happened to me. School's not over yet and I have to make sure I do just good enough to graduate. Your mom needs all the help she can get at the café and I'm the one who offered to be there whenever she needs me. Now you want the girlfriend who's ready to make your relationship with her better even after you broke her heart…again." Brooke stopped to catch her breath and Lucas didn't make a move. "I can't do that for you, not right now anyway."
Lucas had never been so scared about his relationship with Brooke than he was at that exact moment. "Are you breaking up with me?"
Brooke just shrugged, "No…" she answered uncertainly, "I don't want to break up with you Luke but honestly…" and Brooke paused with a deep breath before she continued, "…I don't think you deserve my effort right now. I think we should just put us on a back burner until everything else is figured out."
Lucas shook his head, "So I don't get it. Are you still my girlfriend? Can I hug you when I need to or tell you about my day?"
Brooke shrugged again, "I don't know Luke…yes. We can still talk to one another and be near each other but I think it's best if I stay with Haley right now and me and you spend less time together."
"Like a break?"
"I don't know Lucas…I guess."
Just then a splurge of sirens interrupted them. Even though it was deafening, Brooke felt more at ease. This was how the hospital was supposed to sound.
xx—xx
So?? I know it wasn't a super long update but…what're ya gonna do? Anyway, if anyone is still reading please, please, please review.
