They all looked around the room, Logan's face frozen and completely drained of color- there were only two reasons she would have reacted like that, right? Either she had the pregnancy scare while they were together and he didn't know anything about it… or it had happened since then, meaning it was someone else's… and he couldn't actually figure out which of those two would bother him less.

Stephanie had tears in her eyes ash she took in what had just happened- the look on Rory's face before she ran out of the house; the look on Logan's face as he tried to piece it all together… WHY had she asked that question? Logan had said she was going through something and needed to be cheered up, was it possible that it had anything to do with her reaction just now? She had only asked so that Rosemary would have to drink and talk- she had one just two months ago and hadn't given the Queen of Gossip any dirt- all Steph wanted was the chance to ask Rose questions she hadn't gotten answers to before, she hadn't meant to upset Rory.

As Stephanie started to quietly cry, bringing Colin over to comfort her, everyone else in the room were just sitting around feeling incredibly awkward by the entire situation. After it was silent for at least two minutes Logan just stood up downed a shot before leaving the room to go after Rory.

"I guess I better, I should probably go check on her. We uh… I don't know, this may take a while, don't wait up for us, ok?" He ran his hand through his hair and grabbed a blanket off the couch- it was cold out there and he didn't want her getting sick- even if she wouldn't talk to him, he knew she'd be out there until she processed whatever she was thinking about right now, he'd do what he could to help, even if it was just helping her ward of hypothermia- it had been a somewhat chilly May so far.

He didn't have to go too far to find her, she was sitting on the sand about 100 yards from the house, her body hunched over her knees, crying- he couldn't hear it, but he could tell by the way her shoulders were shaking- not to mention how he knew her so damn well. He walked towards her quietly but deliberately and when he reached her he didn't say anything, merely draped the blanket around her shoulders before sitting down next to her and pulling her to him so she could cry on his shoulder.

"Hey, Ace, it's ok- you're ok." He kissed her on the top of her head and held her while she cried herself out for the next while- he was dying to ask her, dying to know the story that had led to that reaction from her, but he would let her tell him when she was ready. After what felt like hours, but was probably only 5 minutes, she finally had her breathing back to normal and the tears seemed to have stopped falling. She sniffled a few times as she pulled back from him to wipe the tears from her face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Please say yes… he was pretty sure he was going to go insane if he didn't have answers pretty soon.

"I don't think you want to hear most of it." She said so quietly and so timidly that his heart broke a little. There were subjects they had very carefully not brought up since their reunion- their love lives over the last year having been the major one.

"Hey, Ace, you can tell me anything- you should know that by now. Even if… even things neither of us really want to think about or hear. I mean, we probably should have had this talk already, but… hey, none of it is going to change how I feel about you- we were as broken up as possible- if you met someone- hell, even 100 someones while we were apart, you did nothing wrong." He really didn't want to hear about her having met anyone- definitely not 100 guys, but he tried to focus on the fact that she was here, now, in his arms- no one else's.

"Did you? I mean, we were apart for a while, did you meet someone else? Or a few someones?" He sighed, silently castigating himself for setting that up too perfectly. Man up, Logan, you brought it up, not her. He sighed and took a deep breath before responding in as even a tone as he could.

"If you want to know if I dated, then the answer is yes. Not much- it's true that I did mostly just work and train for a marathon… I did some hiking on weekends too. Those were basically the two activities I could think of that wouldn't remind me of you." He smiled just a tiny bit at that, he hadn't really put that together, not consciously anyways, until this very minute. But, it was true, he had gravitated towards hobbies that were so antithetical to her existence that they felt like genuine escapes.

"I don't think I had more than two dates with anyone- they were just all so… I don't know… I would say vapid, but that isn't right- I really wasn't interested in the same bimbos I used to go for… I actually tried to have real conversations, to connect. And I met some smart, witty women… but none of them were you, and that wasn't ok with me. Did I still end up drunkenly taking someone to bed on a very rare occasion? About a month or two after getting to California I tried that, hoping it would help if I went back to my ways… but probably two or three truly empty nights cured me of that delusion- it was no good, I just wasn't interested in being with anyone who wasn't you, Ace." She just sat there, quietly nodding- not particularly thrilled to be having this conversation, but he was right, they couldn't tiptoe around it forever. So she just nodded and continued to look out at the ocean, but she didn't take her head from Logan's shoulders or move away from him at all.

And then, after a few more minutes of quietly staring out at the sea and listening to the waves crashing around them, she finally started to speak, so quietly it was difficult to hear her, but he could deal.

"About six weeks after graduation I was passing through Wall, South Dakota- you know what's in Wall?"

"Uh… I'd go for the obvious joke, but you don't seem in that mood so let's try the truth, I honestly can't say that I am familiar with that particular town."

"It's the World's Largest Drug Store… well, it used to be a drug store- now it's really just a crazy tourist trap right outside of the Badlands- which, by the way, in late June? No thank you, never again. Anyways, my friend on the bus, Alison, she heard about the drug store and was saying 'thank god, I really need to buy tampons and midol.' And, I don't know, it just… it's hard to describe but it was like a wall of bricks just hit me right then and there- I was 2 ½ weeks late. And you can imagine me, in the moment, realizing that- I started to panic, like genuine panic attack panic- Alison calmed me down, I told her what was wrong and she was very sweet. So, when we got to the drug store we were less than thrilled to find out that it wasn't really a drug store anymore and therefore did not sell the items we needed, namely tampons, midol and a pregnancy test. No, instead we had to take a $15 cab ride to a CVS where we bought like five pregnancy tests; and let me tell you what mister, those things are not cheap."

"I'll take your word for it, Ace, can't say I've ever had to buy one."

"But you said, well, indicated in there, that you've had a scare before…" She was slightly confused.

"I didn't exactly have to buy the test myself- I wasn't even in the country when I got the call from her telling me she was late."

"Oh. I take it she wasn't pregnant?"

"Actually, she was, but it turned out that the dates in no way matched up with when we had… gone out."

"Wow, that must have been terrifying."

"Umm, you could say that- I was only 17 at the time and I genuinely believed I would kill myself before I would tell Mitchum I had gotten a girl pregnant. After all, if there was one message he had always drilled into me it was that screwing around is fine, but getting a girl pregnant was how he ended up with my mother- a true cautionary tale."

"Your dad's always been a real Danny Tanner, huh?" He just chuckled at that, shaking his head and they were enveloped in silence yet again.

"Ok, Ace, I gotta say, you're kind of killing me with the suspense right now. What the hell happened with the pregnancy tests?"

"What?" She was genuinely surprised before it dawned on her what he wanted to know. "Oh… Logan, of course they were all negative- I would have never kept that kind of thing from you, you should know that much about me! It turned out to be the stress of the trail and graduation and… all of that." All that… she probably meant the disastrous proposal and devastating breakup.

"Well, then, I'm not sure I understand why all the tears? It all worked out fine… I mean… don't get me wrong, if you had been that would have worked out too- I hope you know that. I would have been on a plane back to Connecticut the second you told me and I would have been there for you every single step of the way. I love you, all I ever wanted was for us to be together and be a family." She just nodded, that response honestly just made the next part a bit harder to get out.

"Do you want kids?" A simple question, and one to stop him in his metaphoric tracks. He didn't want to give her an easy answer, this was another thing they had never really talked about before and they should hash this one out too.

"You know, I always knew I was supposed to have kids someday- heirs for the Huntzberger line, part of the plan- add to the dynasty. But it was also assumed that when I did it would be like how my parents did it, a trophy wife at home who still has the kids raised by nannies, shipped to boarding schools and all of that. And I really, really don't want to bring kids into this world as part of my parents' bullshit plans about the Huntzberger Legacy, I didn't want to raise kids the way I was raised- absent and emotionally dead and distant- so I really didn't plan on it because I just couldn't give my parents what they want, what they expected. But then…" He was nervous now as he once again was reminded what a complete idiot he had been to propose when he did, how he did, without ever having had a conversation about this or anything else. He took her face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, needing her to understand how sincere he was.

"But then I met a certain ace reporter and I fell so deeply and hopelessly in love. And, yeah, occasionally I would.. I do, see visions of tiny little blue-eyed brunettes running around, persistently asking questions about everything, at least when their noses aren't pressed into big, heavy books while they drink superhuman amounts of coffee." He had never told anyone about this but Honor who had just squealed and teared up, talking about her baby brother having babies- he was pretty sure at the news he and Rory were back together she had already picked out baby names and nursery themes. And while he frequently refused to admit it, even to himself, that vision had become so very important to him over the last few years, and maybe even more so in the last few weeks.

And what could she say to that confession? So, instead of saying anything she simply pulled his lips to hers and kissed him with everything she had- she loved this man in front of her so much. Contrary to some opinions, he had been a great man even before they went their separate ways, but in the time they were apart he had somehow become even better and she was wowed by him on a daily basis and she hoped that she could show him through this kiss- even if she couldn't say it properly.

And then of course, there was the small fact that she had missed this so desperately- him kissing her, the heat of his breath against her skin, the way that he would run his hand up her back, under her shirt with his palm against her skin as it moved up, but then just one finger lightly tracing her spine on the way back down, it never failed to make her shiver with delight. She moaned into him as he did it this time, causing her to move in and begin to unbutton his shirt so she could nibble on his neck more easily. He pulled her onto his lap and she straddled her legs over his, grinding against his hips, eliciting the most delicious moan in response. He retaliated by deftly undoing her bra under her shirt and moving his lips down to ghost over her breasts, covered only by her thin tank top, her nipples hardening almost instantly. But then,jst as she was about to lose all sanity and take him right there on the beach she pulled back, breathless.

"Wait, Logan… Logan…" She tried to focus, they needed to finish the conversation, but as soon as she had pulled back he had easily switched his attentions to her neck, licking and kissing and sucking his way up to that spot behind her ear that… "Wait, Logan. Hold on." She pushed him away, hating herself for doing so, but knowing they had to finish Confession Time- not that she wanted to, especially not right now, but she knew she needed to get it all out into the open so they could move on.

"Logan, there is more I have to tell you." He pulled back from her, looking her in the eyes- his eyes so warm but guarded, he was pretty sure that he didn't want to hear anything she was about to say, but this wasn't really about his comfort was it? Not to mention, it had to be better for him to know it all, rather than tormenting himself with questions and suppositions. Ultimately he decided it was best to just have this conversation and try to forget about it- and she seemed to need to get it off her chest.

"So about 2 months-ish into the job, I actually got a five minute exclusive with the Senator's wife, Michelle. Well, that piece was actually pretty big, it got picked up by a few papers and it was passed around a lot online, it's actually when Hugo started promoting my Reporter Girl blog on the site- I don't know if you saw the profile but…"

"You mean the piece where you explained how she was part Jackie O, part Eleanor Roosevelt and part Donna Reed?" She nodded as she blushed lightly, she just really couldn't believe how closely he had followed and memorized everything about her career while they had been apart.

"Well, I was so excited that night that I finally gave in to the others on the bus and started going out at night with them- not every night, but a few times a week. Up to that point I would just check into the hotel, answer emails, read- I swear, I made it all the way through Jane Austen, War & Peace, my Works of Emile Zola, Pillars of the Earth, everything by Edward Rutherfurd and the first two Harry Potter books in French in those first few months- thank God Mom got me that Kindle as a graduation present. I know that's sacrilegious, but I just don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had it- I couldn't have packed much of my library for the Campaign… Anyways… so I had been Little Miss Buzzkill for long enough, and I decided to change that. Then one night, about two weeks before you emailed me we were in Dallas and I went out with everyone… to a country dance bar no less. Well, I drank way too much, trying to gather up the courage to line dance, not to mention it takes an awful lot of alcohol to listen to that much country music- so I got awfully wasted and the next morning I woke up in a frat house… I slept with a frat boy wearing cowboy boots and a 10 gallon hat." Her head was hung in shame while from next to her she heard him quietly laughing.

"You know, Ace, I gotta say, as much as I hate knowing that you slept with someone else- that visual itself almost makes up for it." How was he laughing at this?

"I'm serious, Logan, it was rock bottom. I mean, he had a giant turquoise belt buckle in the shape of an eagle and the next morning he FIST BUMPED ME! I mean, what the hell is that about? Who does that?" Logan wasn't chuckling anymore now so much as he was outright laughing. She couldn't see his face to know for sure, but she would bet that there were tears streaming down his face.

"I gotta say, Ace, I had no idea you were so interested in animal welfare."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I mean, I think it was very nice of you to save a horse and ride a cowboy." Her face went all kinds of red and hot as she cringed at that joke. She hit him on the back of the head, not sure if she should be grateful he was taking this so well or upset about it- she wouldn't be enjoying this story quite so much if roles were reversed… Would she? No, this was a bad experience for her, worthy of an episode of Intervention, she needed to rethink life choices that led her to waking up on a futon to a 6'2" Aggie she was pretty sure yelled yeehaw at the moment of climax (his, not hers, sadly all that trauma and she hadn't really had her own yeehaw moment that night).

"Anyways, if you're done yukking it up, I can get through the rest of this, ok? That was it for on the trail- my single great campaign hookup- Mom wanted me to get tested- my brain, not like for disease or anything." She cringed as she let that out. What was she saying anymore? "But then… right before I got sick the first time, with mono? Well, I ran into an old friend and at that point I was so lonely and I missed home and I missed Yale and I missed everything and everyone and I was so incredibly confused by our correspondence and how I felt and… one thing led to another I slept with him.

"And then I got sick and had my second ever pregnancy scare, and it really just… that one freaked me out a lot more- I wasn't with the guy, I never really had feelings for the guy… the idea that I could possibly be tied to him for the rest of my life? I mean, at least when my mom got knocked up with me it was a guy she loved, it wasn't just escapism. I really didn't handle it will- I went into full on crisis mode- lots of denial and avoidance, I tried to take up yoga and running- don't worry, neither were particularly successful... And, again, it was fine- I wasn't, it was just stress and probably a bit that I was sick- I've been all kinds of off-kilter in my cycle for the last few months, which, I guess makes sense, looking back…" She let her voice trail off as she began to cry again- what was going on?

"Hey, Ace, you want to tell me what's really bothering you? You know that you sleeping with two guys over the last 9 months, while we were very broken up isn't going to change how I feel about you, right? I mean, it's not that I love hearing about it, and I'm going to work pretty hard to try and forget about it because I just hate the idea of you being with anyone else ever- and I know that sounds macho and horrible and I know that I'm hardly one to talk… but it doesn't actually change how I feel about you- how much I love you… how much I still want to spend my life with you and have kids with you…"

"But don't you see, Logan? That's the problem!" And she stood up angrily storming away from him, leaving the blanket in the sand next to a very confused Logan as she moved closer to the water- not bothering to take her shoes off since she was wearing capri pants and flip flops. As swiftly as she had moved towards the water, she suddenly came to a halt, embracing the feel of the salt water breaking over her feet as she cried… because how could this possibly work between them? Everything was different now- now that she was sick. And why couldn't he see that? Why did he have to be so amazing and perfect and wonderful and supportive and say everything right?

And Logan just sat there on the beach, wondering what he had said that was so wrong- were mood swings a symptom of cancer? He genuinely believed that they were on the same page since they reconnected- this was supposed to be it- they wanted the same things: marriage, a family, house with white picket fence (or penthouse loft in Tribeca- he really didn't think either of them were really picket fence type people, he wasn't even totally sure he knew what a picket fence was)... Could he have been that wrong? Logan, you are a grown ass man, stand up, go to her and have this talk, no matter how painful it could end up being. Do it right this time. He sighed as he stood and went to her.

"Hey, Ace… I uh… I can't help but feel like I did something or said something really wrong; but I have to say, I don't have a clue what it was. Unless… I mean- I know it's really soon, theoretically, for me to bring up things like us having kids and I know that I don't really know how you feel about it- but I want you to know that you don't have to know right now, it's alright if you aren't there yet… or maybe… I don't know, I guess it's possible that you don't ever want to have kids, and that's ok too. I don't care about the Huntzberger dynastic plan, Honor and Josh are talking like they're going to have about a thousand, so as far as I'm concerned, let those kids worry about it all… I just want to be with you- that's what matters to me, being with you, if we're together than I'm happier than I ever expected to be." He stepped towards her and grabbed one of her hand, pulling her to face him, needing to see her face. A choice he almost instantly regretted, he just really didn't handle it well when she cried- especially when he felt like he was the reason behind the tears.

He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, taking a second to think about how incredibly gorgeous she was- standing in the moonlight only softened her already beautiful features, the moonlight reflecting off her creamy, porcelain skin while her hair was being somewhat ruffled by the breeze. Sometimes just looking at her broke his heart- how could any other woman ever compare to her?

"Ace, I need you to talk to me- if we're doing this thing, this relationship, we have to be able to talk about these things, I need to know where you are, what you want…"

She looked into his gorgeous, chocolate eyes, so full of love and concern for her and it shattered her heart.

"Where I am, Logan, is Cancerville, population: me. And maybe it's not the worst, scariest kind of cancer and there is a very real, even probable chance that I'll come through it with my life… but did you read any of the brochures they gave me? Or do any googling on my disease or my treatment? I know for a fact that you missed the fun that was the conversation with my doctor in the hospital about my fertility options, depending on my diagnosis." Wait, what did she say?

She saw the expression of his face and it made her turn away from him and start shifting her weight from side to side as she geared up to pace and rant.

"Yeah, turns out one of the super fun side effects of chemo? Possible infertility. And sure, I have options- I can try to harvest and freeze my eggs, although they say it's way more likely to work if I freeze actual embryos, but that requires a sperm donor too and that's way more complicated of a prospect because there is you and me, but we just got back together and we're so young and it's so new and… Oh, plus, I'd have to delay the start of chemo to get that done and it could take a month or two and the doctor really doesn't want me to wait that long. Then there is a treatment they can give me that basically puts me in early menopause, which I've heard is just all kinds of fun- and it's temporary, basically puts my system on pause during the treatments so I can unpause after, I honestly don't understand all of the science behind it- but then I get all those fun menopause side effects WHILE dealing with the side effects of chemo.

"And no matter what I do, there is still a decent chance none of it works and I will have done all that- shelled out maybe tens of thousands of dollars and the chemo still fucks up my reproductive system. So I've got door after door to pick from and every single one of them sucks worse than the other. I just- I can't believe this! I wasn't supposed to have to deal with any of this for like a decade! I'm 23, I've been out of college for a year! I still haven't ever signed a real lease or even gotten my own credit card… I've never even had a plant that didn't die within a few weeks, but I'm supposed to be able to figure out whether or not I want kids in the future and if I do, how to try and make that happen WHILE I'm dealing with cancer? Really?

"God, Mom is so wrong, there is no way God is a woman- no woman would set up a system that is this fucked up!" He just let her rant, he knew she needed to get this all out there, hold nothing back- she wasn't looking for him to fix it, not yet- this was part of her process. Once she was done ranting and raving and pacing she would take his hand, sit him down and ask him what he thought. And after another 5 minutes or so, that's exactly what she did.

As they settled back into the sand, blanket about her shoulders and his arms around her she finally looked over at him- eyes red from crying, but he could tell she felt strangely more peaceful- nothing was resolved but she had finally said everything she had to say. Well, almost.

"I guess that's why the pregnancy scare question upset me so much. Because as awful as it was the second time, the first time- when I thought it was possible I was having our baby… I don't know- it would have been a lot and I would have missed out on this amazing job I've had, but it would have brought us back together, I knew that. And yeah, I had always imagined our hypothetical family- blond hair and blue eyed kids running around, getting into all kinds of trouble with their scheming and pranks… being spoiled by my mom and their Uncles Finn and Colin…" She smiled as she talked about it, "I saw us all curled up in bed on Sunday mornings doing the Times Crossword puzzle together while eating chocolate chip pancakes… or having Willy Wonka movie nights and we all start singing the Oompa Loompa song together…" Logan rolled his eyes at that, if he had to sit through that damn movie one more time, he really didn't know if he could keep his sanity in tact through one more viewing.

"And then, even though that second scare was basically the definition of suck, at least I could have had a kid. I could have made the decision myself whether or not to keep it, I would have had the chance to be pregnant and experience all of those big moments everyone is always talking about… I could have at least had the chance to be a mom. And now? All of those choices and chances feel out of reach and it's… I guess it's one thing to not be sure if you want kids, but it's another thing to have that choice taken away from you. I mean, I'm a woman, it's basically the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do- idiot 14 year olds around the country are currently knocked up, but if I ever want a family, no matter how smart I am, or how much money I can put towards it, I just may not ever be able to make it happen for me. And I may not ever be able to give that to someone- I may never be able to carry your biological children- because I'm defective.

"It just feels like flashbacks to that horrible dinner at your parents, when your mom was talking about what a terrible choice for a wife I would be… I didn't care what she said then, I knew it was crap, that you didn't care about the trophy wife stuff or any of that… but this? This you care about. I know you do. I'm sure you're thinking you would be fine with whatever, and even if I can't have kids there is always adoption or surrogacy or something, but I just… I think it's naive to count on the idea that I'll be enough, on my own, defective body and all." She sounded so much sadder than he'd ever heard her- she sounded… defeated. Like it was inevitable that his only response to this information was for him to pick up and walk away. Had she really not heard anything he said earlier? Or had she heard it and just didn't believe him?

He stood up, brushing the sand off his pants before he pulled her up to her feet, holding her tightly as he swooped in for a long, passionate kiss- it wasn't warring or fighting for dominance, it was just him trying to pour out everything he felt for this amazing woman and how that would never, could never change. When he broke away finally, needing air, he just cradled her face in his hands- brushing back a wisp of hair behind her ear, meeting her tentative gaze.

"Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, I know I'm young- barely 26, but I think I've seen a lot and experienced a lot in my life. Maybe not things like poverty or famine, but I feel pretty confident that I know my own mind and my own heart. I know that the few times in my life I've ever been genuinely scared all had to do with the possibility of having lost you- when you said we should just go back to being friends, when we broke up for those stupid, horrible, awful months… the Bridesmaid debacle… and then that horrible, no good, idiotic proposal which I, for some reason decided to double down on and turn into an ultimatum, one that left both of us heartbroken and miserable for way too long.

"And when I took you to the hospital a few weeks ago, I don't know that I have ever been more terrified in my life- until I heard the words cancer. The idea that not only could I lose you, but that the world could lose you? I thought my heart would literally stop beating. I don't want a world without Rory Gilmore, ace reporter. And I especially don't want my world to ever again be without you. There are a lot of if's in our lives right now- a lot of question marks and scary unknowns, and they only make me that much more sure that you are the only person I ever want to go through good times or bad times with- so kids, no kids; adoption vs surrogacy; east coast or west coast; dog or cat? I don't care- because none of it matters so long as I have you in my life, by my side- you're my best friend, my favorite partner in crime, the absolute best part of my life." She was crying again- she really couldn't understand where all these tears were coming from, shouldn't she be cried out by now? But then she gasped as he moved again, getting on one knee in front of her.

"I know you think that I'm insane right now, and I promise you that if you tell me you just aren't ready yet, I will not break up with you- because I mean it, that would be stupid, because I need you in my life- I love you too much to ever let you go again. So, Ace… Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"