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Disclaimer: I do not own Runescape or Monty Python.

Chapter 7: God, er, Saradomin

Having dismissed the idea of visiting Camelot, King Arthur and his knights eventually decided to travel to the city of Ardougne, hoping to find some new adventure. As they passed through the small village of Hemnester, they were thrust into the greatest adventure of their lives.

As the band of knights rode past the Ranging Guild, the sky suddenly darkened, and thunder rolled across the sky. Then a great light shone out from out of the clouds, and the giant image of an elderly man with a long white beard appeared amidst this light.

"Arthur!" the old man, who was in fact the great god Saradomin, called out. "Arthur! King of the Britons!"

Instantly, Arthur, his knights, and their servants all fell to their knees so as to worship, and show humility to, the great god of peace, wisdom, and order.

"Oh, stop that!" Saradomin snapped suddenly, "Don't grovel! I can't stand it when you people grovel!"

"Sorry," apologized the King of Great Britain as he and his followers got back to their feet.

"And don't apologize! Its always the same, whenever I try to talk to some mortal its always "Sorry"-this, and "Forgive"- me that, and "I'm not worthy!..." What are you doing?"

"I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord Saradomin," Arthur replied as he and his people looked away so as not to look the god in the face.

"Well don't! Its just like those miserable psalms: they're so depressing! Now knock it off!"

"Yes, Lord,"

"Right." Saradomin cleared his throat, then returned to where he had left off. "Arthur, King of the Britons, I have a task for you to set an example for all of these crazy adventurers in this fast-paced time."

"Good idea, oh Lord!"

"Of course it's a good idea!" Clearing his throat again, Saradomin replaced his image in the sky with an image of a splendid golden cup.

"Look well, Arthur, for this is the Holy Grail. You must search the land for this sacred chalice and claim it for your own, and mine, glory!"

"Why?" asked Sir Robin's servant, as the image of the cup was replaced with Saradomin's visage.

Without warning, a lightning bolt shot down out of the sky and struck the servant. The poor sap died instantly.

"Never question the gods!" Saradomin declared. Clear his throat a third time, the god answered sheepishly, "And, ahem, if you must know, I have a big birthday bash coming up, and I've invited all the other gods. The Grail is the jewel of my magical relics collection, you see, and I wanted to show off. But, of course that jerk Zamorak went and stole it, then tossed it somewhere into the human world and I need someone to go and find it for me.

King Arthur and his remaining companions looked on with rather bewildered expressions, but wisely chose not to comment on the strangeness of the situation. Instead, Arthur replied with a humble, "Yes, Lord Saradomin. I understand."

"Excellent. Now go! This is your purpose in life, Arthur: The Quest for the Holy Grail!"

With that, Saradomin disappeared.

The knights continued to stand about for several moments with a mix of shock, awe, and confusion.

"A blessing! A blessing from the gods!" Lancelot finally said, not quite sure what else to call it.

"Saradomin be praised!" Galahad added.

"Well that was quite interesting," Bedivere mused.

"Oy! I soiled me armor I was so scared!" Sir Robin whimpered.

"Knights! Forward!" Arthur declared. "Oh, and go and change your armor, Robin!"

To Be Continued…