::Mutual Cat Daddies – Detour::
The job inside the pet store was the definition of a get in, get out, get gone sort of operation. Once the lock on the shutter was open, it was time for a little freeze action from Buttlord in order to slip under the shutter without triggering the magnetic trip, closing it behind herself and stepping over to the alarm panel while the world stood in stasis for the thirty-odd seconds she could hold it there by pure power of her butthole. Call Girl had already found out the code to disable it in an unsecured e-mail exchange between the location manager and their district manager; directing them to set the combination to the last four digits of the panel's serial number. An electronic chirp signaled that the alarm was disabled, and time was allowed to resume its regular flow so that Mysterion could lift the gate without risk of a shrieking alarm.
Buttlord ducked between the shelves to retrieve the chosen hamster [safely asleep in a cardboard tunnel] and leave her money on the counter whilst Mysterion made for the back room to retrieve whatever he could for security data. She was ready to go within a minute, but it took him a little longer... and he returned with what looked like a DVR box. Had he just straight up stolen the whole storage device? … she supposed it wasn't the sort of thing easily downloaded onto a USB on short notice.
No matter, Call Girl would have yet another device to play with. She was developing a small horde of stolen goodies at this point.
The metal gate was closed with as much care as the pair could muster after that, with Mysterion holding the stolen device like a football under his arm and Buttlord tucking the sleepy [and somewhat panicked] hamster into one of her many pockets. From there it was time to dash to their second hiding place- an alcove for vending machines that was just up the hallway a bit; closer to their exit and further from the place they'd just casually robbed. Arriving there, Mysterion made a rather agile example of how to get atop a drink machine and make it look fucking easy, reaching back down and helping Buttlord up once he had his footing. Crouching down in the space between the ceiling of the alcove and the tops of the machines, they were both small enough that tucked all the way against the back wall they'd be nearly invisible to anyone who didn't think to look in that exact spot for them.
A moment later, the expected security guard between them and the door walked by, whistling merrily on his way without a clue that he'd just walked by a pair of pint-sized trespassers.
From there, it was a straight run to the exit. Mysterion made short work of yet another lock, and it didn't matter if a magnetic alarm got tripped this time; they were already out.
Their path went away from the sidewalk and directly across the parking lot, heavy doors crashing shut behind them.
A sprint was exactly the sort of thing Buttlord needed to heighten the adrenaline rush of escaping unseen. Despite the fact that no one was currently after them, she dug in and put her whole body into an exuberant run from the wall's sidewalk to the curb that bordered the far edge of the parking lot. There was a delight in it, if only to give her heart a reason to be pumping so fucking hard and take the edge off... and the cold wind felt damn good in her face.
Mysterion was right with her as she hit the far edge of the parking lot, puffing somewhat and giving her a look, which she responded to with a delighted and not-at-all winded grin.
"You guys did it?" An excited voice quested from behind one of the bushes that bordered the parking lot, rustling until two others emerged from cover; Stan and Kyle had been hiding here to wait for them. It was Kyle who asked, arising in the cloud of his own breath in the November cold.
"We did it." Mysterion confirmed, holding out the black box he'd nabbed as proof.
Fuck you guys, all wrapped up in your kitty conspiracy. I got a hamster.
"You took the whole thing?" Stan asked with a note of surprise.
"You did what?" Call Girl was still listening in via earpieces Mysterion and Buttlord wore... and apparently the mics were sensitive enough to catch Stan, even though he and Kyle had gotten off the line a bit ago.
"I couldn't find anywhere to plug in." Mysterion complained. "I wasn't gonna hang around to get caught."
"... let's hope the data didn't get corrupted by the sudden disconnection." Call Girl muttered.
"What's she saying?" Stan asked, curious and only getting one side of the conversation.
"Disconnection might have corrupted the data on it, like yanking a USB while files on it are still in use." Mysterion explained. "Stan, can you bring this to her?"
"Of course he can, my parents invited him for Movie Night."
"Yeah, me an' Wendy already had plans to get together after me an' Kyle hung out today." Stan confirmed, hands coming out of his pockets to accept the black box when it was offered. "... donno what to say this thing is if anyone asks, though..."
"Tell him I'll meet him at the door with a bag to shove it in so my parents don't get suspicious. I 'try out' purses at the house all the time."
"She says she's got you covered."
"... is it bad that I was expecting this to be a lot harder?" Kyle asked, looking around a little nervously. They were far from the streetlights that illuminated the parking lot; casting them in desolate shadow, but their position still felt pretty exposed. "Maybe we shouldn't be standing around."
"You guys get going." Mysterion agreed. "... Buttlord and I have a hamster to deliver."
And here I thought you'd forgotten.
It wasn't that she wasn't interested in what was going on with Miss Reynolds and the cats... she just really wanted to do this for Butters. It was her original task, and she wasn't gonna be happy until it was done.
She was particular like that.
"Okay, but..."
"What? Are they too small?"
"No, no, the size is good, just... uh... when did you buy clothes for me?"
Since the recent incident with the President, Dee's basement haven had become the de facto base of operations for the duo of Buttlord and Mysterion. Kenny had already placed one of his additional costumes [many had to be made for the inevitable possibility of destruction with his rather disposable flesh] in the cupboard under the stairs for Dee to lock away, giving him a second place where it was easy to get into costume should the need suddenly arise. Entry from outside the house was accomplished via a thin storm window that was just big enough for either of them to fit through, but certainly not an adult. That said, however, he had done his changing at his house today, so surprise had been his reaction when she insisted he could come to her house to change back into street clothes before going over to Butters's house to deliver their hard-won hamster. She didn't open her mouth while they were out on the street, so no explanation was offered; she simply gave him one of her looks that reminded him that she wouldn't grab his hand and tug him along unless she were certain of the decision, so off they went.
And now, upon arrival, he found out why- she'd gotten an extra set of clothes for him to be on hot standby, essentially creating not just an extra drop in point for Mysterion, but also an extra drop out point already equipped with what he'd need to blend in.
"Couple days ago. Seemed like a good plan." She reported lowly- the basement was generally considered a safe location for her to talk aloud, but there was ambient sound coming from the house above them that suggested her parents were on the main floor. Stepping up out of the basement with a friend whom they'd not seen entering the house would be one thing; surprising but ultimately acceptable. If one of her parents came down here to investigate and found her down here with him, that would be an entirely different kettle of fish. Particularly if he was still changing in the space under the upper landing.
"It's all second-hand," She informed, just beyond the space he was using as a changing room, leaning against one of the four wooden beams that created the frame beneath the upper landing, with her back to him. "It's not like I blew a month's of allowance on new shit..."
Second-hand or not, it was a new set of jeans where the knees weren't run through and only had one patch, and a couple of shirts that didn't have any holes in them; one long-sleeved gray shirt and a short-sleeved black one with a mostly flaked-off image of a white rose on the chest. Simple, practical, and ultimately... a gift from his girlfriend.
And man she is trying to play it off like it's no big fucking deal- be a little cooler, Lyssie, why don'cha?
"... do... do you like it?" She asked as he went quiet for a moment, finishing the process of dressing himself by plonking his butt down in one of the three beanbag chairs in the tucked away space and putting his shoes back on. Doubt was part of the question, but it also made him smile. She wasn't quite as cool as she tried to act, and cracks in the facade provided glimpses of the actual human being she was used to constantly protecting.
Gathering up the divested pieces of the Mysterion uniform, he stepped out and peered down at her. She had her arms crossed in front of chest with her own bundle of street clothes in her grasp, her head twisted away- had she been fighting the temptation to look while he was changing? She'd told him to change first, so she was still in the Buttlord costume, and her hood fully obscured her face from view... but the crumpled posture she was holding gave him the rather distinct impression that she was blushing somewhere under that hood.
"It's great." He assured her, eliciting a jump as she hadn't realized he'd stepped out right next to her. She looked up, and it was just as he'd guessed- her face was crimson under her hard-mask.
"Ah- good." She stared at him, maybe for a second too long, before ducking her head down again and scurrying around him to claim the vacated space.
"You overheating?" He snickered slyly, stepping on to tuck away the trappings of his hero persona in the open cupboard that was built into the support structure of the stairs coming down from the main floor; someone had planned out this space pretty well when the house was built. Once she was done changing, their things could be safely locked away in here, protected from prying eyes as well as sticky fingers... or maybe just clawed ones that tore apart bedrooms. "Or maybe you saw something you liked?" He suggested.
He heard her choke around the corner- but it wasn't the flustered sort. It was a laugh. "What makes you think I peeked? I've been using the same bathrooms as you for years. You're not packing anything new to me."
Not a bad point, guess I'll have to try harder to shock you.
Grinning, he took up the spot she'd been occupying only a moment ago... only he slung his hands behind his head in a much more relaxed posture. He'd found her flustered blushing quite adorable, and his aim was to make it worse. "Shit, you scoped out every dick in the grade and you still picked me? Win." That had to cross a line, right?
"Tch, you assume dicks are a point of attraction." She was unimpressed, and sounded entirely comfortable with the subject. Not even a hesitation or a stutter. "If that were the case," She went on, "the race woulda been between Butters and Token."
Okay, fair, she's been playing as a boy for a few years, penises probably stopped being a big deal pretty fast... let's get personal, then.
"Oh, and what is that gets the Mysterious Farting Vigilante going?" He quested through a lopsided smirk before letting out one of his oddly sweet giggles. "Or do you just go for any schmoe you can easily shove into a wall?"
"Wouldn't you like to know~" A sing-song response- she wasn't even fazed.
Banter aside, there was a pretty strong temptation for him to peek. Between their words, he could hear shifting fabric and the heavy sound of her coat getting dropped to the floor. There was even a faint squeaking- no doubt the hamster they'd gotten protesting getting removed from the pocket of said coat and moved somewhere safe while she changed. If he looked at the right time, he had a possibility of catching her in her binder- or maybe she'd gone for a bra today? Tempting, very tempting.
And what happens when you get caught, genius? You really want her to snap you in half?
… could be kinda hot...
"Guy likes to know what his competition is... or who he can make out with to get bonus points."
She scoffed faintly. He heard more shifting fabric in a brief pause. For a second he thought he'd finally gotten her, found the line that tripped her up... until she followed up with an almost devious declaration; "Don't threaten me with a good time, I could think of a few people I wouldn't mind having sandwiched between us."
Holy fucking shit, had she always been this dirty, or is she putting on a show for me?
Sometimes, Kenny found himself still trying to figure out exactly who his friend and partner was. Sure, he'd known her for a couple years, since she'd moved to South Park, but the majority of that time had been spent thinking she was a boy. He'd shared bad jokes with her, probably had his dick out more times than he should have, sent her links when he found good porn, and... well, treated her like a guy friend. A silent guy friend, who texted him the occasional naughty thought or joke but never anything intensely vulgar... but now? She talked, and sometimes the most filthy fucking shit came out of her mouth. Had she always been like this under the surface, or was she following his lead, putting on an act, pretending for an audience?
It felt like it was her genuine self he was interacting with, but he'd just never heard a girl talk that way. Not unless she was a working girl, or a rich spoiled whore.
"... seriously?"
The warmth that came from playful jabs back and forth was struck back, suddenly pulled back to reveal an honest question- his honest question that wondered just how raunchy her inner monologue actually got. Not offended... but intensely curious.
She arrived from around the corner, dressed in the usual; black baggy-ass cargo pants, and her big electric blue hoodie. Her clothes made her look almost as wide-bodied as Cartman, burying a fact he'd learned through a couple of hugs; she had hips. Disguising her shape had required widening her silhouette with loose layers. The Buttlord effects were draped over one arm, bent to hold them up, the other hand holding a fluffy little hamster who had gone through an entirely too-long day for one adorable rodent.
"... is that a problem?" She questioned, much in the same way she'd asked earlier if he liked the clothes she'd gotten him. Uncertainty, insecurity, the fear of a mis-step; all were present in her tone and her face, with had elongated with the rising of her brows and the loosening of her jaw, leaving wide and earnest eyes in the middle.
That was proof- this was her. The real her. She was just as foul-mouthed and foul-minded as he was.
"Are you fucking kidding?" Eyebrows rose up as he went back to his crooked grin. "If you've got fantasies, I want details... later. When we don't have a friend about to get out of the hospital who is expecting to see us tomorrow." He winked, as if her descriptions might be the sort of thing that would keep him awake for entirely too many hours tonight, doing things unmentioned.
She smirked at him, proceeding to the cupboard to tuck her own things away. The hamster, poor creature it was, got tucked into the kangaroo pocket of her hoodie. The cupboard was shut, locked, and a motion was made for them to head upstairs and finally announce their presence for the two seconds it took for them to leave the house through the front door. They might have used it coming in if not for the fact that her parents were still unaware that he was Mysterion... but exiting that way would at least let her touch base with them. And him showing up in the house always had the possibility of him getting sent home with food- a tempting enough bonus to risk the funny look of 'when the heck did you two get here?'.
So up the stairs they went with her in the lead, the voices on the upper floor getting louder as they approached the door. He could recognize the voices of their parents, but it was just as she was opening the door that he realized there was a third voice that was not familiar at all. Someone new, whom her parents were talking to, and their tone was... strained.
She stepped out and appeared to be arrested on the spot. He couldn't see out beyond the alcove for the basement door, a couple steps behind and still two steps down on the stairs adding a height disadvantage to his viewpoint. He couldn't see what had shocked her so much that her spine snapped into perfect posture and her shoulders shot back, feet shifting apart for the wide sort of stance she took when she was either about to bolt or throw someone.
Beyond her, he heard her mother's voice.
"Oh, Alyssa, that's where you've been hiding. My mo- your grandmother is here. Come out and say hello."
::The Author's Corner::
SHIT JUST GOT AWAKWARD
See what happens when you risk social mishaps for free food Kenny? Do you see? You coulda just gone back out the window, but noooooo.
You also had to go and flirt for half the chapter so my sympathy is nil.
I enjoy Kenny's little episodes of having to re-define Alyssa in his mind. He's generally good at rolling with stuff, but that doesn't mean he's entirely free from preconceptions. XD
ONWARDS!
-Buttlord
