Y'know, people would say I look frustrated, tired, spent—all of the above, really. And y'know what? They'd be right.
"Ryuji!"
The boy heard his mother bellow from the kitchen for what was the fifth time this morning. He ended up working a later shift the night before at his part-time job, so he desperately searched for those precious few extra minutes of sleep. A fleeting feeling of desire to just be able to relax and let his brain turn off for a small amount of vacation time that, at least to himself, it deserved. Through being able to juggle his schoolwork, his social life, and his job, he had set a high bar for himself that was leaps and bounds above anything that he expected from himself before. And for that reason, he unconsciously begged towards his mother's aura, he just wanted those extra few minutes. Unfortunately, the torrent of wrath known as his mother had other plans in store for him.
Instead of testing his mother's patience any further, Ryuji chose to sit up with lazy eyes that longed for more time to rest, time that he knew that he didn't have. After a long yawn that could challenge a bear's roar, he planted his feet, one after the other, on the creaky wooden floor of his room. Guilt poured into him as he realized how much he had slacked off on cleaning his surroundings. Dirty and cleans clothes alike scattered the floor, yet Ryuji was able to tell which was which perfectly apart. He saw a Tekken poster pinned up on the wall in an oddball location. As much as he enjoyed the game, the poster hung there as a way to cover up a grim reminder of a time that his anger had gotten the better of him and, with great force, he punched a hole in the wall. Of course, this did nothing to bring him any satisfaction. As he saw it, he had damaged property that his mother had worked so hard to pay for. One day, he promised himself, he would go and buy Spackle to try and patch up the wall at least a little bit. That had been about a month and a half after Akira had left, he remembered.
A very loud groan of agitation escaped through the boy's lips. He decided he didn't have the time nor was he awake enough to dwell on the condition of his room any further. It was his Sunday and he was not about to have it start off on the wrong foot. Still, he considered how well last Sunday went—with his visit to Akira's hometown—and had already established that nothing today could bring would be near up to par. So, standing up and taking his phone off of the charger that accompanied his bedside, he exited his bedroom into the small hallway with slow and trudging steps.
Entering the kitchen, he saw his mother cooking up some eggs for the two of them. Ryuji knew that his mother did this out of choice and that she didn't have to go the extra mile for him. For that, he was appreciative. He would be dumb, however, to admit that he had thought of what it'd be like if she chose not to do this and if he was able to choose when he woke up on his own accord. Still, as annoying as this habit of hers was, Ryuji was still eternally grateful for what his mom chose to do for him.
She set a hot plate of eggs done over-easy in front of him with a similar plate being set down in front her spot before taking a seat. She set out some plastic forks for the two of them and, after saying quick prayers, they began eating.
"I have to go and work later today." Ryuji's mother said the first words of their breakfast conversation.
"Which place? That retail place or the diner?"
"Retail store." Ryuji watched as his mother nodded at him between bites of her eggs. "Some idiot quit and I'm picking up some overtime. It's a win-win." Ryuji agreed silently, something that his mother seemed to find out of character, but pressed on with her agenda. "I'm planning on doing some shopping after my shift is done. Do you need anything?"
"Nothin' I can't get myself. Don't worry about it ma."
"Now Ryuji," Ryuji felt his mother's gaze on him, but he didn't return it. "I don't want you spending money on things you know I can get for you. You should be saving that money for what you want to do and for your future."
"Ma, I can't let you go buyin' shit for me all the time. We're in a good spot right now and I even got my own job to worry `bout." Ryuji wore a proud smile as he said his last line, but it was quick to be replaced by a grimace that matched his mother's.
"Ryuji, I want you to listen to me: I am your mother. It is my responsibility to help and take care of you, alright? Besides, could you imagine me on a normal working schedule after what I've been through?" The woman leaned back in her chair, leaving the half-finished eggs with a fork pierced through them. "I wouldn't know what to do with myself."
Ryuji shrugged. "I dunno ma, you could try to have a normal adult life. Y'know, find a hobby or somethin' to keep ya entertained."
"This is something that keeps me entertained and I earn money for us while doing so. I see no problem with that."
"Ma, you're workin' yourself for no good reason. I can take care of myself, alright?"
"Ryuji, what's wrong with me keeping multiple jobs? It keeps me active and entertained. There isn't a dull moment-"
Ryuji stood up and slammed his hand down on the table, his emotions finally getting the better of him and surging towards the surface. "Ma, this ain't entertainment! You're workin' yourself to death!"
The boy's mother leaned forward. "Why are you getting so upset? I'm doing this out of my own volition, you know that right?"
"I don't care mom!" Ryuji was just as surprised as his mother when he called her mom instead of his typical ma. He went forward with his argument, tears beginning to well in his eyes. "You're killin' yourself for no good reason! I don't wanna look at you ten years from now and see some broken down woman that can't fuckin' move!" Ryuji looked down at the eggs before him, and then to the kitchen floor. Instead of holding in his frustration and letting it well up like he usually would, he found himself crying. The boy was actually crying for once and letting his true emotional self be seen. However, all he could feel was disgust over himself lashing out at his mother. Through haggard breaths, he continued. "I don't want you to…to worry `bout a mistake like me. I just want ya to be happy, mom."
The word rang through to the boy's core. Mistake. Yeah, that's what ya are, alright. Dad didn't want nothin' to do with ya. Ma works her ass off for ya to freeload. Ya can't even make it through high school without people's help. God, what the fuck can you actually do? These doubts bounced around Ryuji's head, making the world seem to speed up around him. He saw images of being left behind to fend for himself, his mother wanting nothing to do with him, his 'friends' laughing at him, but out of all of these thoughts, he found one that haunted him the most: he saw himself alone.
I deserve it. Ryuji grabbed his head tight. I deserve whatever happens to me.
A slap to his face brought him to his senses. His mouth was agape, and out of the corner of his eyes he could see his mother with tears welling up in her eyes.
"Ryuji, I don't ever want to hear you say those words again." The usually strong-standing woman had to choke back some tears to keep the best confident tone she could muster. "Do you understand me?"
"Ma, I-"
"Do you understand me?!" Ryuji was taken aback by his mother's sudden crescendo. "I thought that Kurusu boy helped you through this when your group started hanging out together. Now I'm not sure what the hell is bringing this all back, but let me get one thing clear for you: you are not a mistake."
Ryuji didn't say anything else in response. He stood there absentmindedly rubbing his cheek where his mother had slapped him. He didn't cry and he wasn't angry. For a moment, he just felt like he existed, nothing more or nothing less. The boy watched his mother go gather her purse and watched her mouth move as if she had continued talking, although he heard no words. A vibration in his pocket tingled throughout his left leg, but he didn't bother to check who it was texting him. Sound again became a sense to him when his mother had finally left the apartment, but to his dismay, the only sound that accompanied him was the sound of silence.
You fuckin' idiot. He backed up and leaned against the wall, sliding down it before curling up into a ball. Ryuji could only crack a smile through the tears that he was shedding. He wasn't sure what else his mother had said, but he had decided not to care. The only thing that mattered to him were those last few words he heard.
I ain't a mistake, huh? Idiot…stop wearin' that damn chip on your shoulder.
"Look, all I'm saying is that the characters were total garbage to back up a so-so plot, alright?" Futaba looked up at her boyfriend who towered her by at least a foot.
"Darling, I cannot disagree more. The characters, if viewed as tools, filled their roles quite elegantly. Not to mention the aesthetics of the film were absolutely marvelous!" Yusuke finished with a flourish of his arms. "I can only envy the director for his vision and what he was able to bring to life!"
Futaba looked back at him with a stern face. "This is what I get for datin' an artist, huh?"
The blue-haired boy let out a chuckle before placing his arms back down by his sides. "You must have acquired a taste for it. Was it not you who asked-" Yusuke was cut off with a swift elbow to his side, causing him to gasp his breath.
The duo, along with their three amigos Ann, Haru, and Makoto, had all just finished up watching a movie. Even before exiting the theater, the three bystanders had to deal with the two almost immediately start bickering with each other as soon as the film had ended. Now even in the bustling streets of Shibuya, the two continued.
"Yeesh, these two." Ann, who had been walking in the middle of the group of five, said whilst placing her hand to her head in a gesture of irritation.
"I still find it hard to believe that they're dating." Makoto sighed.
"It's kind of cute in its own way, don't you think?" Haru couldn't help but try to stifle a giggle.
"You almost want to feel sorry for the guy when he looks like this though, wouldn't you say?" Makoto did a much better job at masking a laugh behind her speech.
Ann, although a tad worried that that was her friend's inner sadist breaking through, shook her head. "So is he going to be okay or...?"
Futaba gave them a triumphant look and nodded her head. "He'll be fine. He'll have to be if plans on surviving this!" She pointed to herself proudly.
Yusuke was able to stand up straight and regain his composure as she had finished up her sentence. "Futaba, I was able to conquer palaces and face endless hordes of shadows alongside my friends. What on earth makes you think I would not be able to handle you?"
Futaba adorned a devilish grin as she signaled the much taller boy to lean down to her level, allowing her to whisper in his ear. "I want you to keep in mind: you weren't sleeping with those shadows, now were you?"
Yusuke's face went a ghostly pale with wide eyes. He looked over to his girlfriend who still wore that face of pure demonic pleasure. He could only stutter out sounds as he tried to turn his head towards his other three friends in an effort to plead, something Futaba wasn't about to allow as she grabbed his arm and began dragging him away.
"Me and pretty-boy here got some things to resolve. Catch y'all later!" Soon, the three girls were left to themselves as they watched their friends round the corner down to the train station.
"So," Ann began. "We all know what that was probably about, right?"
"Yes, and I'd like to motion a movement forward in the conversation before I get any unwanted imagery in my head please." Makoto closed her eyes and rubbed them.
"Seconded." Haru was quick to follow-up.
"Gotcha, moving on." Ann tapped her foot and looked around at the buildings surrounding. She tried her best, along with the other girls, to not let it bother her that two of her friends basically ditched the rest of them just to go hump like rabbits. In an attempt to do so, she spotted the restaurant that they frequented. "How about that diner? I'm feeling kind of hungry."
Haru nodded. "I could go for something to eat myself."
"I'll just settle for some tea if we're going." Makoto stated hesitantly. Ann turned to her with a wry smirk. "What's that look for?"
"Oh, nothing. Just saving up some space for your date with Ryuji, huh?" Ann couldn't resist teasing her when an opportunity came. There was a lot of things that the former student council president could outclass her on, but this was where Ann shined. And apparently, that remained to be true as Makoto could only respond with a look of shock at first with Haru following up with an innocent giggle.
Makoto was able to stabilize herself before pressing forward. "Ann, how many times do I have to say it: Ryuji and I are just friends. Nothing more." Nothing more, huh? Those words stung her to say, but alas they were true.
"Ugh, whatever you say." Ann said with some disgust in her voice. Despite her best efforts, she could not get the two to realize their feelings for each other. She never saw it fit to tell them either, mostly because she didn't believe it to be her place to interfere in matters of the heart anymore. Ann and the others had all dealt with that change of heart stuff before and, even if it did lead to them ultimately saving the world, she couldn't help but feel like she wanted to put that all behind her. So when she became aware of her friends' feelings for each other, Ann made it clear for herself that she would only just try and drop subtle hints instead of outright telling them.
Although in this case, she remarked in her head, even hitting them over the head with a fucking frying pan might be too subtle.
Both girls' train of thought was cut off by Haru, who just thought of something. "Oh yeah, where is Ryuji anyways? Did he ever respond to the group text?"
All three girls looked around at each other with looks of confusion before Makoto spoke up. "Um, I'm not sure."
"Yeah, me neither." Ann tacked on before all three girls dug through their jacket pockets to grab their phones almost in perfect unison. Upon all checking their text messages, Ann shook her head. "Nope. Last one in our group chat was Futaba when she told us her and Yusuke would probably be running late."
"Isn't this strange behavior of him?" Haru asked. "Usually he'd say something if he would be unable to join us."
"I know." Ann sounded defeated. "The idiot is making me worry." She looked around from her left to right before her eyes settle on Makoto who was still looking at her phone. "Hey, Makoto?"
Makoto jumped in surprise at her name being said, although quickly regaining her composure. "What is it Ann?"
"Uh, did you get anything from Ryuji?" Ann pointed at Makoto's phone, but the girl shook her head in response.
"I apologize, my sister just texted me asking to come on home early. I was about to explain to her the situation but I doubt she'd listen." Makoto said somewhat disappointedly.
"What did she need you home for?" Haru questioned.
"Hm? Oh, she wants my help in practicing examining files for a case that she's working on. Ever since I explained to her that I wanted to be a lawyer like her, she has been much more open in her work life than ever before." Makoto explained.
"Sheesh, you can't just take a break for once, can you?" Ann said with a slight smile, one that Makoto mirrored.
"What can I say? Old habits-"
"Die hard? Yeah, Ryuji told me about that one." Ann completed her thought for her, although Makoto found herself kind of caught off-guard by her friend's sudden interruption. "You should probably get going though. Sounds like it must be a pretty important case if she wants you home this early."
Makoto nodded her head. "I suppose you're right. I apologize, but I'll make it up to you guys some other time, alright?"
"Christmas is only a month away anyways." Haru said with a smile. "I'm sure we'll have everyone together by then."
Makoto smiled once again. "Definitely." The girl then turned away from her friends and began to walk away, waving and saying "Goodbye!" one last time.
Haru and Ann stood and watched their friend make her way to the station steps. As snow began to fall, Haru watched on in curiosity when she thought of something that she saw to be strange.
"That's odd." She turned to Ann.
"What is it?"
"Does Makoto usually take that line to go home?"
Ann smiled and shook her head. "No, no she does not."
So, guess who can't decide if he wants the story to continue after the big ol' romantic reveal or not? I do have plans to perhaps write a couple of one-offs that connect to this that explain how Yusuke and Futaba's relationship came to be along with Akira and Ann's. Also, while I'm thinking about it, yes, I'm sticking with Akira in regards to this fic and anything connected to it. It isn't because I hate the official name (I like Ren just fine), it's just that having to go back and trying to change every instance of his name would be time-consuming and I hardly have any time to write as it is. Anywho, hope everyone enjoys the chapter!
