CHAPTER 6 : Maybe

We were already on the Northern part of the forest when we were sure no one would be passing at that part at that time. We were hunting when grandpa's phone rang. We ignored it but later after he just finished his still unsatisfying meal, he answered it. They were always clean when they hunt and I was just getting used to it because I really don't hunt that often.

"Yes, she is," he looked at me as he answered the phone.

Maybe mom or dad was calling to ask if I was doing fine with them. They still treat me like a baby but I don't blame them or hate them for that because I know that in a very long time, I was the only child close to normal that grows and matures that they have unlike my family who were now frozen in their same ages forever. I am half-human anyway but they said after sometime, I'll also stop aging like them and Jacob.

And I remember him again. Maybe he's having fun now with that girl. Well, I'm also having fun with my grandparents anyway – sort of. I admit, it really is more fun hunting with Jacob because we race for the biggest animal we find to feed in then we sleep under a tree after washing up blood stains from any part of our bodies then we sleep under a tree which we find comfortable. He's in his wolf form when we sleep and I like cuddling in his fur and sleep in it. I feel comfortable and safe when I sleep that close to him. He seemed to be comfortable with me, too, cuddling to him or sleeping in his fur like it was a soft pillow because when I position myself away from him, he moans and cuddles his big body of warm fur to me. I like thinking it that way – we are comfortable with one another.

But now, why do I have this big fear that he'll be leaving me? That he found someone new? That Tara is better than me and that he'll choose her instead of me because she was human. All his friends have human girl friends anyway. Maybe that's why he will choose her because he doesn't want to be left out. He doesn't want to be the outcast.

I closed my eyes and stopped devouring the animal in front of me. I stood up and looked down. I can't hide my sadness or fear or whatever feeling I am feeling at the moment.

Momma Esme noticed me and looked at me with asking eyes. I shook my head and forced a smile when grandpa came back after checking out if it was still safe – that no human was around.

"Your dad called, sweetheart. He said Jacob went there just after we left," grandpa informed me.

"Maybe he needed something before his date," I shrugged like it was nothing in spite of the truth that I was already wondering why he came early in the morning just after he left when I told him to go home.

"Maybe he's just tutoring, love. Or he needed money for something," Momma walked toward me and left her hand on my shoulder while trying to look at my face. Momma was often right about things and when she told me something like an explanation of things that upset me, I start to calm down because I trust her that much but now how come I'm not calming down? The fear is still abundant in me.

Grandpa was looking at me, too. He was observing the expressions in my face that I was showing. I looked at him then looked at Momma Esme then down to the ground and exhaled out a deep breath. I felt Momma Esme motioning grandpa to leave us in private for a while and when he did, she tugged me to a cut trunk of tree then we sat. Her arm was around my waist and she was smiling at me.

"He's not neglecting you, dear," she said and tucked curly strands of hair covering the other half of my face.

"But he already did, momma. He found someone new," I said a bit reluctant because I didn't want her to get a wrong impression about how I feel about Jacob. But then maybe she could tell me what was wrong with me now so I just looked straight ahead then down to my fingers which were rubbing one another. I act like that when I was getting nervous about something.

I decided to show her what I saw yesterday at the Black's house. Jacob was smiling and Tara was giggling. She was obviously flirting with him and then after that, she even called me a kid and asked me if I didn't have anywhere to go or anything to do. Obviously she was trying to get rid of me. Then I also showed momma the part where Jacob told her that he'll be with her today.

Momma Esme smiled at me after seeing what I showed her but her eyes showed that she was feeling sorry that I feel upset about yesterday.

"You don't act like this when you see Jacob with Leah or Emily or the others, right?"

I just nodded. What was her point? Then I realized it but still didn't get the point. He also laughs with them and they giggle with him, too like Tara did but I don't see the difference and then there it was.

"Tara's different. Jacob doesn't have a girlfriend and besides, Emily and the other girls you're talking about already have a boyfriend and I don't think Tara has one that's why she's…" I trailed off. I didn't really know where I was getting at except that I don't like Tara.

"I just don't like Tara," I added immediately.

"What if Jacob tutors another girl with the same age as Tara and who doesn't have a boyfriend, too?" she asked me.

I thought about it and then answered without assurance "Maybe I won't like her, too and…" I straightened my back and looked at her then away again.

"Maybe I was just shocked that he was tutoring someone I don't know," I finally said and stood up.

"Maybe…" Momma smiled at me and stood up, too then called grandpa.

I really didn't know why I was feeling that way. Maybe I am jealous. A jealous friend. Friends get jealous sometimes, too and maybe this is just my first time to get jealous with him tutoring someone I don't know.

Like momma said 'maybe'.

I shrugged then joined momma and grandpa as we head off home.