When you're gone
I always needed time on my own. I never thought I'd need you there when I cried. The days feel like years when I'm alone and the bed where you lie is made up on your side. When you walk away I count the steps that you take. Do you see how much I need you right now?
Rosalina was sitting on the guest bed in her dad's house. Her dad came into the room and said "Rosebud did you find Tomas?"
Rosalina buried her face in her pillow sobbed. Her dad pulled her head into his lap and stroked her hair gently. Rosalina moaned "no dad and that's what scares me."
Rosalina's dad said "Rosebud sometimes things happen and there's nothing that can change it. You're going back to New York in the morning right."
Rosalina sniffed and said "we're going to have to. Jesse is going to stay and look for Tomas though. I hope he's alright where ever he is."
Meanwhile David was sitting beside Alex who was crying softly. David sighed and said "Alex Tomas will be fine I promise. I want you to try to get some sleep ok. We're flying home in the morning I'll be right here I promise."
Nat came back into the room with Cooper and said "come here Alex. I love you little brother."
Alex hugged Nat and said "can we all sleep together tonight?"
Nat said "if you lie down and close your eyes yes. I'll be over to turn off the light in a minute."
Alex lied down on the bed and closed his eyes. He heard Nat and the others talking late into the night. Cooper said "Nat LA is a huge city. The chances of us finding him are very slim. Our plane leaves at five am and its midnight now. I want to try to get some sleep."
Nat yawned and then climbed up on the bed beside Alex. He wrapped his arms around Alex and held him very tight. In the morning everyone got up and packed their things. Alex walked over to Jesse and said "you'll write to us right woman. Please come home soon Jesse."
Jesse hugged Alex, Nat, Qaasim, and David tightly and then she said "Alex I'll be home after I find Tomas. I'll write to you everyday I have the chance."
Rosalina's dad dropped her off at the hotel. Before she took her bag out of the trunk she gave him an extra long hug. Rosalina's dad smiled and said "call me when you land in New York ok Rosebud."
Rosalina walked into the hotel and found the room that Nat was in. Nat hugged Rosalina and sighed loudly. Rosalina said "please tell me you and Cooper found Tomas."
Nat frowned and said "I wish I could tell you that Rosie. Jesse is going to stay here and keep looking for him. Hey don't cry Rosie. Tomas wouldn't want you to cry."
Alex said "guys I found something! I saw it yesterday but I didn't say anything because I didn't think it mattered."
Nat took the piece of paper from Alex it was a map. Nat said "Alex this might be where he is. Thank you for showing this to me."
Cooper looked at the map and said "Nat I know this place. It's a huge concert hall I know how to get there but its six hours away."
Rosalina said "we can catch another plane home. If there's a chance of finding Tomas then it's all worth it."
Cooper said "when did you start caring about Tomas so much? I thought you hated him Rosalina."
Rosalina said "I realize now that I need him just as much as I need Nat. We have to find him Cooper please."
Nat hugged Rosalina who was sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. Then he said "Coop look at Rosalina. I love her and her heart is broken. We have to find Tomas Cooper."
Cooper sadly said "Nat don't you think I know that. Tomas is my friend to I'm worried about what kind of trouble he's got himself into. Rosalina we'll find him ok I promise."
When you walk away I count the steps that you take. When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you. When you're gone the face I came to know is missing to. When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok I miss you.
Nat and the others followed Cooper to the concert hall. They searched for hours before Cooper said "guys I don't think we're going to find him."
Rosalina buried her face in Nat's shoulder and sobbed hard. Nat sighed and said "Rosie it's late we should head back to the hotel and get some rest."
David wiped away a tear from his cheek and said "Tomas always knew what to say to make everything better. I don't want to believe that he's truly gone. He was my best friend and I loved him like a brother."
David started to say something more but fell to the ground crying. Qaasim, Nat, Rosalina, Alex, Jesse, and Cooper knelt down on the floor and pulled David into a tight group hug. Nobody spoke for a long time and then Rosalina said "when Tomas walked away I counted the steps that he took. Its eighteen steps from the center of the room to the door I just can't believe that those eighteen steps would be the last time I'd ever see him. Tomas always gave the best group hugs because he squeezed so tight. He always had a smile on his face so he made feel better when I was sad. I miss him with the pieces if my broken heart."
I've never felt this way before. Everything that I do reminds me of you. The clothes that you left they lie on the floor. They smell just like you I love the things that you do. We were made for each other now and forever I know we were.
The band went back to hotel and tried to practice. Nat said gently "Rosalina that's the wrong chord. I show you again ok here this is what it should sound like."
Rosalina set her bass down and buried her face in her hands. Nat sighed he wished that there was something he could do for Rosalina. He moved closer to her and gently stroked her hair while she sobbed softly into her hands.
Cooper said "Nat maybe we should call it quits for tonight. Practice is making Rosalina miss Tomas even more."
Rosalina found one of Tomas's shirts and began sobbing uncontrollably into it. In between sobs she said "it still smells like him. I miss him so much Nat."
Nat sadly said "I know Rosie I know. Alex get me a damp wash cloth, a glass of water, and make sure the wash cloth is cool not hot or warm."
Alex handed the things to Nat and sat down beside David who was still crying. Nat held Rosalina in his arms and said "you miss him don't you. When I asked the guys about you joining the band the only one who didn't mind was Tomas. You two were made to play together I could see it from day one. Here drink this and wipe your face it'll be ok Rosie."
Rosalina drank the glass of water and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Alex said "group hug"
Rosalina, Jesse, Nat, Cooper, and David smashed together in a tight a hug. Nat waited until they pulled apart before he said "ok we should really get some sleep. Alex you can sleep in between me and Rosalina."
Alex climbed into the bed and Rosalina lied down and pulled the covers up to her chin. Nat lied down on the opposite side of the bed and put his arms around both Rosalina and Alex. When the first morning light came through the window of the room Cooper got up and finished packing. Half an hour later he woke the rest of the band up and Jesse hugged everyone one last time before they took a taxi to the airport.
Before Alex left the room he said "Jesse be safe ok. Please call us as soon as you hear anything about Tomas. I love you Jesse."
Alex followed Nat and the rest of the band outside and got into the taxi. When the band got on the plane Nat heard Alex sobbing softly. Nat said in a gentle voice "Alex Tomas will be back with us soon. Jesse will find him and everything will be ok."
Alex leaned into Nat's arm and said "how do you know? Even if Tomas is alright he quit the band. I don't think he'll come back and the band will never be the same without him."
Rosalina said "none of us really know if Tomas is ok Alex. The reason Nat can say that is because he hasn't lost hope."
When the plane landed in New York City Rosalina called her dad so he knew that she was safe. Rosalina took a cab with Nat and Alex so she could get to her grandmother's apartment. Nat hugged Rosalina tight and whispered in her ear before they pulled apart "Rosie I love you so much. I'm sorry you had such a rough week things will get back to normal I promise."
All I ever wanted was for you to know that everything I do I give my heart and soul. I can barely breath I need to feel you here with me. I miss you.
Rosalina went back into the apartment tears stinging her eyes. She missed both her dad and Tomas so much it was almost unbearable. Her grandmother called from the sitting room "is that my baby Rose? Come and sit down I haven't seen you in a week. You must be hungry I'm sure they didn't feed you enough on the tour."
Rosalina fought back tears and said "I'm not hungry grandma. Nat took me for a big breakfast before we left. I'm going to go upstairs and take a nap."
Rosalina's grandmother said in a concerned voice "Rosalina honey what happened on this trip that made you so upset?"
Rosalina bit her lip to keep from crying and said "nothing is wrong. I just need to take a nap and unpack."
Rosalina ran into her room and threw herself on the bed and cried until she could barely breathe. She missed Tomas and wanted to feel his arms around her when the band had another group hug. She also wanted something else though. She wanted to be able to tell him that whenever she sang with the band she sang with her heart and soul.
Rosalina closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm down. She sighed and spoke into the sky "please god let Tomas be ok. He's my best friend and I miss him so much."
