AN: Okay as promised, this chapter is totally 100% from Eric's POV. I just wanted to thank all of you again for the wonderful reviews and constructive feedback I got from the last chapter. I know not everyone was thrilled with the sharp left turn the story took, but I thought Id put in a little note that not everything is what it seems here. I still have a few cards up my sleeves, and besides the theme of coming into oneself as a person the secondary theme is, dont judge a book by its cover. ;) Anyway, hope you like this one. As you will see, E is more than happy to give his 200 cents. ;) Thanks for reading and enjoy! :D
Chapter 7-The Viking
I never thought I would be contributing to this little story. Don't get me wrong, I've wanted to add my 2 cents for awhile now and explain a thing or two about what I'm doing here and how I came to stay with Sookie and her grandmother, but now is not the time, Ill get to it later.
The truth is, the fact that I'm here, in place of Sookie, actually scares me a little, which is a hard thing to do since the things I have seen in my life should factor much higher on the terror scale compared to this. But nevertheless, I was worried for her.
You see I was there the night Bill came to the door. Trust me when I say I was gripping onto my chair arms with all the power I possessed in an attempt to stay seated and bite my tongue. The fact is I didn't particularly like Bill Compton, shocker right? It's not what you think though, it wasn't because he came in and pissed all over the nice day we were having, or made her smile fade the minute she saw him, or took her away and forced me to spend the rest of the evening alone, but it just so happened that I loathed his very existence. Id seen his type before. He came off all virtuous and pure and then he turned around revealed that he really was in fact a Dickwad, while accepting none of the blame. It was only a matter of time before she would find out that Dr. Jekyll was really in fact Mr. Hyde, a wolf in sheep's clothing.
On one hand, I didn't want to see Sookie get hurt, but on the other, it wasn't my place to object. I wasn't her boyfriend; we had no official attachments other than a couple amazing nights. Although unbeknownst to me until the moment she left, I realized I had felt a yearning deep inside for more. But the fact was, I was the other man. I wasn't hers and she wasn't mine.
I had known her for less than a week now and she probably wouldn't have listened to me even if I did protest, in fact if I objected it would have most likely made things worse. I wondered if there was a reason she could stand up to me so easily and not Mr. Compton, but then I realized she had found some strange little bond with him. Maybe because he was the boy next door and Sookie seemed to have a kinship with the people from this town, whether she wanted to believe it or not, maybe it was because he behaved like a southern gentleman when it mattered. I scoffed because that idea was so ludicrous. But despite my opinion young women seemed to swoon over his type, although I would never understand it. Despite the fact that Sookie told me he had his own internet business, the rest of his house, clothing, car, personality reminded me of something more fitting to another era, perhaps the dark ages? I just hoped she would have the courage to tell Bill what she told me. That she wasn't ready to get married, and ever to him. The Deutschbag needed to be put in his place once in his life.
I would be willing to wager he always got his way, and was used to it. Hence his controlling and possessive nature when we went to Merlottes a few nights ago. Which is why he was here putting on the pressure, when Sookie clearly told him she needed more time.
I clenched my teeth and bit down a low growl as she put on a fake smile and told us all she was going to join him for dinner and tried to get my mind off her. I was Eric Northman after all, I kept assuring myself. I could have any woman any place at any time, and I had.
But aside from my arrogance and experience with the females, there was something about Sookie that truly fascinated me and fanned the flames in my undying infatuation towards her. She was special, and not just special like different or noteworthy, she was really something to be admired and valued. A true rare and precious gem, although she didn't know it, which was the extraordinary part.
She was genuine and had no idea how beautiful she really was. It took me by surprise when I discovered that this stunning woman sitting at the bar all dressed up was the same woman who got down on her hands and knees and plunged her nails into the earth to get rid of a few weeds, or mowed the lawn in blistering heat, which I had always assumed was a man's job, or wash the laundry or read a good book on her front porch after she had finished a hard days work. It baffled me that she was perfectly at home in a place like this, completely ignorant to her natural gifts as she proceeded on with a life that was filled with honor, pride, hard work, and virtue. She was exquisite and mind numbingly complicated all at the same time. And unfortunately for me, I couldn't get her out of my head.
I must confess it took everything in my power to leave her room that night, you know which night I'm talking about of course, the night she fell over the edge in my arms. How could I forget her sweet and savory taste. Even now I could still remember the flavor of her nectar against my tongue.
Needless to say, I desperately wanted to stay there with her and hoped even for just a sliver of a chance that she might wake up and change her mind and let us unite the way we both fantasized about doing that first day we met.
But I knew she needed time, she needed space. She was young, and fairly inexperienced, and not like any other girl I had ever dated before. I had never met another 27 old ex virgin as beautiful, smart, witty, and lovely as her, but I certainly didn't want to ruin my chances if I had any. Dare I say I was actually starting to develop feelings for her, which surprised me given everything that had happened prior to my arrival in Bon Temps. Prior to my arrival, meeting someone like Sookie was the last thing on my mind.
When I saw her that day, standing on her front porch her arms crossed just so, waiting outside my new digs, I knew then that this was bigger than just some conquest. At this venture in my life I needed all of the cosmic help I could get and I took this fascinating familiar white dove standing there as a sign that I was where I was meant to be, it didn't hurt that her short shorts and tank top hugged every contour of her perfectly curved form as one lone drop of sweat fell deliciously down her neck into her ample bosom.
It took me almost all night to erase her from my mind, well if you count not being able to think about something for 60 seconds maximum. I stayed up and did some reading, and then I went downstairs to watch TV. I had some more of the strawberry ice cream, but it only reminded me more of her. Goddamit, life was unfair sometimes, I thought. I looked outside and noticed the sky was getting lighter and finally decided to turn in for the night, but my dreams were far from peaceful.
Which is why it saddens me to write that Sookie didn't come back home from Bills that night.
I couldn't help but wonder and worry that she had gone back to him out of obligation but you couldn't tell a person, least of all Sookie Stackhouse who she could or couldn't love no matter how toxic that person was for her.
When I saw her that next morning, I knew something was wrong. I tried to approach her and ask what happened, but Sookie just shrugged me off and replied torpidly…
"Just leave me alone, I want to be alone."
Her behavior had me worried, because her expression was hard as stone when she went back into the house and shut herself away in her room.
I figured Id give her an hour or two to collect herself but then I would go to her and find out what really happened. I wasn't stupid, nor had I ever seen Sookie in such a disentangled state before and it was clear something had happened.
I grew angry thinking about that ass hole Bill, wondering if he did or said something offensive to Sookie, and thought perhaps I needed to pay him a visit one of these days and give the southern gent a lesson in manners.
Still there wasn't much I could do at the moment. I wasn't used to having my hands tied or feeling helpless, but that was my current predicament. It was frustrating, aggravating, and exasperating as hell. So I did the only thing I could think of doing, I went back outside and took my fury out on the pile of wood I had began to chop earlier. It was another sweltering day, so I took my shirt off and made the most of the pick axe and the rest of the pre-measured two by fours, now obliterated down to a pile of scrap.
I didn't even know I was done until I reached behind me to grab another piece of wood and there wasn't anything to grab. Sighing to myself, I knew I was putting off the inevitable. So what did he do this time? Dump her? Give her an ultimatum? Maybe they had another fight? But if she was there all night it couldn't have been that bad. Maybe she broke up with him? I thought hopefully, realizing quickly that I was chasing a pipe dream. She wasn't going to leave him, if she was, she would have told him so last night.
The sooner I faced the fact that we had is what I've had with every other woman I've dated in the last 2 years, a mutual attraction and nothing more, the better off we would be. No more buying time, I told myself, wondering if being stuck with my thoughts was worse than confronting her, I realized it was time to check on Sookie.
So I ventured back inside, wiped the sweat off my brow, put a new shirt on, and then went upstairs in search of her.
I wasn't prepared to find the door locked when I got there, I knocked once, but she didn't answer.
"Sookie?" I called, rapping once more, my frustration still apparent.
"Sookie are you okay, please open the door!" I asked.
And then I heard something that sounded like glass crashing and a muffled cry come from far away. Not sobbing but it sounded like she was in pain. And I called her name again this time more urgently, the concern coming up to the surface…
"SOOKIE?"
But I was met with silence.
I grew worried and dare I even say terrified with each long second that followed trying the door handle once more. It wasn't budging.
I half considered kicking in the door or possibly loosening the hinges but that would take too long, then I remembered I saw her window partially open from outside, and I knew how I would get in.
5 minutes later I had scaled the siding of the house and taken a perch on the roof covering the porch as I popped the screen off, pushed the window up and climbed inside.
Sookie was not in her room and I instantly became more alarmed. I feared for her, finally bursting through her bathroom door I found her lying there crumpled in a heap on the cold tile floor. My eyes traveled from the broken mirror down to her shaking body and over to the large shard of mirror now embedded in her heavily bleeding wrist. My eyes widened when I saw the blood dripping from her arm and pooling on a spot next to her on the floor.
"Sookie what have you done?" I gasped.
Panic flew through me when I saw her lying there blood everywhere. I flashed back to another time and place and froze for a moment in terror. I didn't know what to think, maybe she was dead now? My body in shock, and then all of the sudden she began to move and moan in pain. It was enough to snap me back into action and I rushed to her side.
I carefully dislodged the piece of glass, which caused the blood to gush out faster as the piece of broken mirror clamored to the floor after falling out of my shaky hands. There was just so much, it was so eerily familiar I couldn't take it, having to repress my tears and the urge to go numb. But I had to hold myself together, for her.
"Sookie?" I whispered pressing my lips to her temple scared she had lost too much, and then I heard a another soft sob as her face moved against my chest weakly, clearly not making any effort assist my attempts.
"You have to let me carry you."
I had to get her to the hospital. I couldn't lose her, not like I lost everyone else; I wouldn't allow myself to think such horrible things.
I quickly found a towel from the bathroom and tied it tightly around her wrist, and I assured her…
"Stay with me Min Ӓlska!"
Her eyelashes fluttered open and closed and I quickly unlocked her door rushing through it I carried her downstairs, grabbed my car keys and sped to the hospital.
I was getting familiar with the hospital since I had already been here once this week, hoping I wouldn't have to see the place much more after this I ran Sookie into the emergency room and told them what had happened.
A grueling few hours later, after I had wracked my brain over what could have happened to make her do that, to make her attempt to take her life, which stirred up an avalanche of pain, her doctor found me in the waiting room an emotional wreck. She was a petite 4 feet 11inches tall and I must have looked like a giant standing next to her, but I had never been more afraid when I looked into her eyes. She introduced herself as Dr. Ludwig and then pulled me aside and she asked me sternly…
"Are you her boyfriend?"
I felt my breath shudder feeling uncertainty over the nature of her question, I wondered worriedly if she had lost too much blood, did she need a donor? What would I tell her grandmother what would I do without her? But the doctor was waiting for my reply and I looked into her hard eyes and I shook my head. No I wasn't her boyfriend, but I wanted to be.
"Did you engage in sexual intercourse with Miss. Stackhouse last night?" She asked me coolly. I shook my head again, not quite sure what she was getting at, my head was swimming, and then it hit me. I looked back at her in question and her dark glare gave me all the response I needed as the hard pits rained down inside my stomach.
"No." I whispered not sure if my reply was an answer to her earlier question or disbelief because I had already imagined in my head what she was going to tell me and I looked back at her horrified.
She closed her eyes and handed me a card…
"It looks like there is no long term damage down there, just some bruising on the outside, it might hurt for her to sit or ride a bike for a couple days. She's a little drugged up right now but she will be able to go home once we get her signed out. She had about 15 stitches put in her wrist and I prescribed her some painkillers with an antibiotic, she should be able to go off them in a few days. But I want her to seriously consider calling Detective Bellefleur when she's had some sleep to report this incident."
I tried to bite back my anguish, disbelief, and the simmering rage I was feeling for Bill Compton and simply nodded my head. My poor darling Sookie. So that's what this was about? She had attempted to take her life after that monster attacked her? This whole time I had been thinking about my loss, my grief, but what about Sookie?
"Ill see her next week to follow up on this." She concluded sharply, still cautionary of me, but I didn't care. I was too shaken up over this news, unable to meet her stare, my mind began to retreat inside itself in shock and dismay.
"Yes, thank you doctor." I answered my eyes fixed on some inanimate object on the lobby floor.
The doctor nodded curtly and then she was off. A few minutes later a nurse came by with Sookie's paperwork and I filled it out as best I could and then I was allowed in to see her.
Dr. Ludwig was right. She was pretty drugged up and I found myself feeling relieved for that at the moment because I didn't trust my emotional or physical reaction once I spoke to Sookie and heard the truth from her mouth.
I however knew the moment I saw her that I would take care of her first and foremost, and deal with Bill 'The Bastard' Compton later. His karma card was up and he had some vengeance coming. Of that much I knew.
My primary concern was Sookie and once I got her home I took her up to her bedroom and she eagerly fell fast asleep.
There wasn't much I could do at that point but clean up the mess she made in her bathroom and wait. I must have checked on her like 20 times, and the last time I peeked into her rooms her eyes opened groggily and met mine.
I crept in trying not to disturb her, not quite sure why I was trying to be quiet and asked her softly feeling the need to do something for her, anything…
"Can I get you something, some water perhaps? Are you hungry? I could make you some food?"
Her lips curved ever so faintly, and she blinked slowly tiredly shaking her head.
"You are still tired? (I assumed) I will let you go back to sleep."
She blinked again and replied her voice just barely above a whisper…
"Stay"
I met her gaze in confusion, but she simply moved her bandaged wrist up past her sheets so her other hand could lift them up, welcoming me inside her bed, and I momentarily wondered if she was lucid, but she simply asked…
"Tell me a story."
What other choice did I have? I could dance around the elephant in the room as long as I wanted and feel awkward over what transpired today, what I knew about her and Bill whether she wanted me to or not, and keep my emotional distance, but the truth was I needed her just as much as she needed me. I wanted to make sure she was comfortable, that she was feeling well and taken care of, but if my company was all she requested, I certainly couldn't refuse her. After pausing for a moment to make sure it is what she really wanted, realizing she was waiting for me, I moved the chair aside and kicked off my shoes. Sliding in beside her this time she moved to sit up and I could see she was attempting to make room.
"A story about what?" I asked gently after we had settled back in, finding a position that felt surprisingly comfortable and easy as her fragile body carefully folded into mine.
"About your life."
She closed her eyes and leaned her head against my chest. I felt her small body sink into mine molding into me like a plaster cast and I was in heaven. Not quite sure how I could think pleasurable thoughts at a time like this, but somehow she stirred something inside me.
"You're trying to trick me into telling you why I'm here aren't you?" I mused gently calling her out on her strategy to turn the spotlight on me, yet I couldn't say I blamed her. She put her bandaged hand over my chest and smiled in confirmation. I knew it, I thought, remarking…
"That's a low blow, even for you." I concluded and her smile grew cleverly. But there was no way I could deny her a thing in her current state, so I took a deep breath and began…
"Well, I wasn't always as deviously handsome and charming as I am now." She smiled again, I could feel her warm breath press against my chest through my shirt and that was all the encouragement I needed.
"Like I said, I moved here from Sweden to live with my uncle, when my mother lost her battle with Cancer. Well my uncle is actually my godfather; he was my mother's advisor and Professor of Early European History while she was a student at Oxford. So he wasn't a relative by blood.
You see my grandparents had died before I was born and I had no idea what happened to my father, because I was a love child and he had long gone before he even knew my mother was pregnant, so she asked her mentor, Professor Fintan Brigant to be my legal guardian should anything ever happen to her."
Sookie put her hand on mine and I pressed my cheek against the top of her forehead, so she could turn into me and fit her head into the crook of my neck in my desire to be close to her. Then I continued.
"So I spent my remaining years of high school in Shreveport. You see Fintan moved back here to return to his family homestead once retiring from Oxford.
After graduating, I attended college at Tulane. It was just coming out of a final exam which concluded my Junior year when I learned from the police department in Shreveport, that my uncle Fintan had been found wandering aimlessly through downtown Shreveport in nothing but his underwear, it seemed he had gone quite mad in my wake, and he was later diagnosed with Dementia. I spent the summer home with him but he seemed to be getting worse, until finally he could no longer take care of himself without full time care. I didn't have the skills or time to watch him around the clock. I had to work to support myself, so we used the rest of his money and the money my mother left me, to pay for his long-term care.
I had yet to finish my last year, and didn't have the finance to afford tuition, so I joined the Reserves. It was there while I was on tour in Iraq that I met my good friend Godric. We were inseparable, and when we got back, it was like getting a second chance at life. Fintan had the care he needed, I went back to school, but ended up changing my major from history to business, much to my uncles disappointment, and getting my Masters. Godric had just opened this new bar in Shreveport that was hitting it big and once I graduated he asked me to join him as his business partner. Things were good."
I looked down at Sookie and she blinked up at me, still silent out of respect, I could tell she wanted to know more, although I really didn't want to explain the next part, nor did I want to upset her. I paused for a long moment trying to find my words; to articulate how one could describe what happened to him without getting graphic...
"Only, unfortunately for Godric, the war changed him, in ways its hard to understand for anyone who hasn't done a tour." I swallowed and closed my eyes, feeling sorrow, flashing back to that day; I finally spat it out...
"He suffered from post traumatic stress syndrome. I eventually took over the bar while he took off some time for himself. We still kept in touch and met at least once a week for dinner, but I could tell he was getting worse. I asked him if he was getting help and he said he had been going to see a social worker, but he wasn't much help. I suggested he try a psychiatrist friend of mine from college and he had agreed. Only Godric never made it to see her.
The night before that appointment, he took his life instead, which is how I came to be here."
I looked down again and saw one long tear fall down her face, not wanting to make her sad. There was more, but I didn't want to bring that up now, she had seen so much turmoil today, and I tried to make light of it, although never in my wildest dreams would I have done it on any other occasion...
"So now you see why I didn't want to start off with that story when you first asked me why I was here, because telling it in any way shape or form is a definite buzz kill."
She creased her brows and looked up at me.
"I'm so sorry Eric."
I shook my head not wanting to worry her self or weep for me and I replied quietly...
"Life comes and goes, but we just have to make the most of it while we are here. It's too precious to take for granted."
I looked down at her, realizing what happened tonight hit close to home for me, very close. I wanted to tell her in my own way that I didn't want her to hurt herself any more. Attempted suicide, however poetic and tragic cause far more pain after it happens than it ever could before.
Sookie met my gaze sadly, and looked down at her bandaged hand coming up to brush my face and she confessed, to which I believe was an attempt to alleviate my fears...
"It was an accident, I didn't try to hurt myself on purpose, I smashed my hand against the mirror, it stung for a second and then there was blood everywhere, and I didn't mean to scare you, but I was just so mad."
I took a deep breath, daring to address that elephant in the room, wondering if I could ask her this question without breaking something, my voice shaking a little, I finally remarked quietly…
"Did he hurt you?"
The look on her face told me everything I needed to know. My jaw clenched and eyes closed for a moment in sad lament as I imagined the horrific experience this poor sweet lovely woman endured. It made me physically ill, to think of it.
"I took care of it."
Is all she said, but the pain behind her eyes spoke volumes. I put my arm around her wanting to protect her and make her feel safe now and I felt her wrap her arms around me. I knew then that, whether or not Sookie thought she handled the situation, I was going to amend it, so she would never have to worry about him again, I thought angrily. But I didn't want to press her, and as I said, I had my own reservations on the subject. She had been through so much already. Afraid if she told me exactly what she meant by taking care of it, that the mental image I had running in my mind of she and Bill was confirmed true, I would jump out of bed, find a shot gun and blow a hole through his head. I had done it before in Iraq, I could do it again. I knew she needed professional help to get through this--Professional help mentally, and professional help physically to take out the trash.
The room felt heavy, she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, and I could feel it. Needing to change the subject, I swallowed and finally replied trying to lighten the somber mood…
"Ill just have to keep you tied to me then, it seems like whenever you venture away, you get into trouble, now why is that?"
She smiled at me, clearly relieved with my change of topic. I smiled and leaned in to kiss the side of her cheek just wanting her to concentrate on healing now and nothing else but she turned and my lips brushed her mouth gently, like a featherlike kiss. I felt something I had never felt before; I felt an emotional connection to her as well as a physical. It was a mixture of the passion, and yearning, but also something more, something indefinitely more meaningful. Don't get me wrong, the other kisses were great, but this one spoke to my heart.
I could see why Sookie didn't want to kiss me on the mouth a third time, because three times was definitely the charm. If I could have kissed her this way forever, I would have died a happy man. It was soft and tender at first, my mouth delicately dancing over hers, and she kissed me back with the same delicate nature. My whole body buzzed loving the feeling of her lips on mine. I closed my eyes and tasted her as if I was only just now discovering her mouth and her soft lips brushed against mine enveloping me in the sweetest kiss I had ever experienced. We took it slow, very slow as I carefully explored her taste inch by inch and I found myself pulling her body into mine.
Oh god she felt good, I thought feeling her weight press over me slowly sinking into my body. I felt guilty in that moment because she was starting to turn me on.
I dared to dip my tongue in-between her lips her tongue brushing against mine as I tasted her and dipped inside further. She tasted just as I remembered, just like heaven. I placed my hand against her temple for better access when I felt the condensation beading over her forehead.
Suddenly I pulled away puzzled as to why she was sweating, it wasn't that hot in here, in fact the window was open and I could feel a definite cool breeze. I put my hand across my forehead once more and pulled it back as if I had been stung.
"You're burning up."
She looked back at me lucidly, her tired eyes smiling and she replied…
"No I'm not, I'm freezing, come closer and warm me up."
She wrapped her hands around my sides but I could tell something was wrong. No nothing more could go wrong, I wouldn't let it.
She kissed me again, but I couldn't live with myself if something bad happened, and I pulled away proclaiming.
"Sookie I'm going to call your doctor."
She began to shiver, and I panicked slipping out of the bed I assured her…
"Ill be right back, I promise."
Her eyes were sad and disappointed but I could also tell that she was tired because she hadn't put up a fight. I felt even guiltier now for getting turned on, but I had no time for guilt.
"I promise." I assured her one more time, but I think it was more for me. Then I went downstairs found my cell phone and called the hospital.
Much to my disappointment, her doctor wasn't there, nor was any other doctor. Yes I know, what the fuck was wrong with these people? Small town or not, they had a hospital and there were no doctors on duty???
So I told the nurse what had happened. She remembered Sookie from earlier today and told me to take her temperature after I tore the house apart looking for a thermometer while she waited on my insistent request. Sookie was at 100 degrees and the nurse informed me that I needed to keep her warm if she was cold, supply plenty of fluids, apply a damp cloth to her forehead and massage her, in order to alleviate, relax, and break the fever.
I shouted at her and swore in Swedish when she gave me these preposterous instructions, proclaiming that I was bringing Sookie in this second, but the nurse informed me that bringing her in while she was having a fever wouldn't help Sookie in the slightest. So I neglected to thank her and hung up the phone angrily.
I dampened a cloth and found an extra blanket for her bringing it all back upstairs with a glass of water and Sookies prescription and I helped her take 2 more antibiotic pills. She was starting to doze off now, still shaking, I got back in bed with her and placed the wet warm cloth against her forehead, and began to lightly massage her shoulders from behind. She smiled in relief and she leaned back against me still trembling, but I could tell the remedies were helping because her body eventually stopped shivering. When she felt heavy in my arms, I adjusted myself so I was laying along side her holding her in my arms, and she asked me quietly before drifting off…
"Stay here forever?"
I lay there with her for a long while, so long I lost track of time contemplating those words and what they meant, whether or not she really meant them. I just watched her sleep, until; I realized that I desperately wanted to stay. I continued to watch her, noting the steady rise and fall of her chest and the slight gape in her mouth as she slept peacefully. I put my hand up to her forehead, found that the burning hot was gone to my great relief, and I whispered in her ear…
"As long as you wish."
I relaxed next to her on the bed, my arms secured firmly around her and I realized in that moment how much this place really felt like a home. It had been so long since I had a real one I had almost forgot what it felt like to fit in. I wanted to find a place to belong so badly, and most of all, I wanted to make sure Sookie was going to be okay.
Before closing my eyes, I thought again about calling the hospital, but I had the feeling I would be wasting my time. There was one person however; I did need to talk to. I wasn't going to screw this up again.
So I reached over to grab my phone on the nightstand and made the call.
