-1So there I was. With Manny who was going to keep my baby. It was surreal in a way. I was sure that I wanted this--I needed this. But Manny, she never looked too sure. When she started to show she was so embarrassed. She took to wearing some of my old shirts and they stretched over her protruding stomach.
Joey had finally accepted it. He would give me lectures, make me baby-sit Angie more. "This is what you wanted, remember?" he would say when I complained. I never got to go to band practice. Ashley took over my position as lead singer, and Spinner incessantly complained.
"She wants to take over the band, man. Now we're doing shitty emo-girl rock music. Stuff that Ellie likes."
"So what?" I grouched. "Leave me alone, Spinner." I was so tired, so tired all of the time. I'd stay up late, worrying about Manny and the baby. She cried all the time because her father had booted her out of the house. He told her she was dead to him. Her mother snuck over sometimes, pressed money into Manny's hands and spoke to her in Filipino or whatever language was her Native tongue.
All the time Manny grew big, so big. At night sometimes I'd touch her belly and she'd smile a little. I could feel that baby of ours. It made all this more real. It was scary real and sometimes I felt so choked up I couldn't breath. In class I wasn't paying attention. I was zoned out or sleeping. Sometimes I felt like just screaming.
One night, Manny offered to watch Angie. She let me go to band practice in the garage and I was so grateful. Ashley took over keyboards, her smoky blue eyes giving me some kind of signal I couldn't interpret. I was so tired I didn't know if I even wanted to.
I kept saying I was tired, but I never slept. I was too restless. I had so much energy. One day I blew up at Simpson in class. He was trying to keep me and Ash from discussing our music, the one thing that kept me sane. I told him it was independent study hour, and he could study my butt. So I went to visit Jimmy. I lamented my teenage bullshit on him. Manny, the baby, strange vibes from Ashley. I never once asked him about his legs.
Manny would go to cheer practice and sit on the sidelines. She and Paige had some sort of rivalry going on. They were good friends and they were good enemies. I never knew what they were. Sometimes even Ashley talked to Manny, and that was weird. I guess Ash was finally over the whole cheating on her during Christmas break.
And then one day, towards Spring it happened. I'd been doing laps in gym. Running was the one thing that made my brain clear up. Everything felt so fogged and unreal. Manny. The baby. The band. Joey. Ashley. These words pounded in my mind as I ran lap after lap, until sweat trickled down my body.
"Craig!" It was Emma, running to me all breathless. "It's Manny--Manny's water just broke. They're taking her to the ER!"
Good God. I stopped running, sucked in a mouthful of air. "Where--where is she, Em?" This wasn't happening to me, Craig Manning. No way. Not at all.
Emma yanked me with her. We was running outside of the school where Manny was being loaded on a stretcher. Her tanned face looked pale and her big brown eyes fastened on mine. "Craig. I'm so--so scared!"
"It's ok, Manny." I stepped up to the stretcher. She clasped my hand. "I'm here now." I tried to sound as reassuring as I felt, give her some sort of comfort. Manny deserved that, if nothing else. She somehow managed a smile through her grimaces of pain.
"Emma." Manny turned to her friend. They'd been on the rocks. Fighting about her personality change, me, everything else. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're my best friend and I never--" She gasped. "Never meant to call you a--" Another gasp.
Emma squeezed Manny's other hand and then was pushed back as the ambulance loaded her in. "It's ok, Manny. You'll always be my best friend. Just get through this, ok?"
"Hey, hold up son. You can't go in there--" An ambulance worker protested.
"Yes I can." I insisted. "She's my girlfriend and she's going to have my baby." My eyes dared them to do anything about it. The worker nodded and let me in. The ambulance doors closed, sirens went off. I searched for Emma's face. She waved at us, and got her cell phone out to call Spike.
I rode to the ER with Manny, who was about to make our lives a lot more complicated.
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It took hours. Something that happened to millions of women every day took all day and some of the evening. But finally, around ten o clock our daughter was born. My hand ached from Manny gripping it and my emotions were shot. It had been a long, draining day.
Right now, Manny was asleep. In my arms I held our newborn daughter. She was such a tiny little thing. I was finding myself entranced by her. It brought back memories of when Angie had been a baby and Mom would let me hold her.
I could spend hours just staring at Angie in kind of an awe-ness and I did the same thing to my daughter. Her fingers flexed, and I used my index finger to touch hers. Her mouth opened, then closed.
"Come on, open your eyes." I urged. I wanted to see her. The nurse told me that her eyes were blue now, but they might change colors when they got older. I wondered what color her eyes would be. I wondered who she would favor more--me or Manny.
"Ugh, what time is it?" Manny's voice came from the bed and she drew my attentions away from our baby.
"It's one o clock in the morning." I told her. "How are you feeling?"
"Like Paige decided to make Spirit Squad Boot Camp." Manny replied. She ran a hand over her face. "Did my mom come?" She asked in a hopeful voice.
I had called Manny's mother. She said she wouldn't be able to come tonight, but would be there first thing tomorrow. "Not yet. She send her love. She'll be here tomorrow morning, bright and early." I said. I was trying to make it nice for Manny.
"Do you want to hold Maude, Manny?" I asked. "She's so beautiful."
Manny sat up. "Did Emma and Spike and Mr. Simpson stop by?"
"Yes. They will all be here tomorrow morning as well." I said. "Don't you want to hold her?"
"I'm so tired." Manny seemed to ignore my question. "I just want to sleep, and sleep."
"Well, you've been through a lot." I offered. I scooted closer to the bed, our baby still in my arms. "Look at her, Manny. She's so cute."
Manny closed her eyes. She flopped back against the pillow. I didn't like the disinterested way she was being. This was her daughter!
"I like the name Maude." I began. "I looked it up online. It's a form of Matilda. Joey told me there was an old TV show in the 70's." I added, giving Manny a smile. "What do you think of Matilda Manning?"
"I wish my mom was here." Manny opened her eyes once. She didn't seem to hear what I was saying. "Craig, call my mom and ask her to please come." Her lower lip shook a little.
"Ok." I rose. "Here, hold Matilda." I was trying out different baby names. I didn't know which one sounded best.
Manny turned on her side that didn't face me. She closed her eyes.
"Manny?" I asked. "Don't you want to hold your daughter?" I watched the low rise of her body as she drifted back off into sleep.
In my arms, my nameless daughter stirred wanting to be fed. With a sigh I went to find the Night Nurse to get a bottle.
