A/N: I would have worked on this sooner, but hey, guess what? I slept all Saturday. From about ten in the morning on Saturday to-You know what? I don't even know because my clock just decided to change times. What ever. Fuck it. Gah, this put me in a foul mood.

And I'm already too lazy to keep the format I was trying out. Whatever.

Warnings: You know 'em.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. Gah.

Reviews:

Alcorion: Ah, well...The thing with an obsession is...Well, it's going to be a while before Kyle's is over.

xEmerald Isle: O.O I had no idea about that, I promise. I didn't steal the idea.

Angelic Guardian: Lol...Can you see Butters telling him off? o.o Scary. Ah. Kenny could rip him a new one. Mmhm. More snow. :o I'm listening to it now to see what it sounds like. If this gets in my head, it'll be your fault~

iiRaithex: Mmhm, that'd be what funny means. Bunny sex, huh? -innocent whistle-

Thank all of you for the reviews~


It was late in the afternoon when Eric Cartman heard a knocking at his door. It had been a light one at first, for which he was grateful for-it meant that he could ignore it and go back to sleep-, but after a few moments of said light knocking, it was replaced by a heavier one. If he had to guess, it would be Kyle at his door. Butters knocked lightly, like the knocking had been a first, but Kenny knocked louder and with more confidence that he wouldn't be ignored; who could ignore something that loud, anyway?

Grumbling to himself that he would kill whoever was at the door, he climbed out of his warm bed, which he had crawled into earlier that morning. Eric had a cold and wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone's shit. If it was Kenny at the door, he probably really would kill the bastard. If it was Kyle, he'd just slam the door in his face, knowing that it'd be a while before he would be able to get the boy to leave otherwise. If it was Butters, then he would glare at the boy, but let him in eventually; the kid wasn't as loud as the other two idiots he was screwing, and, besides, Butters could at least make him something to eat that wasn't Kosher or that didn't have him worrying whether or not the house was going to burn down. If it was a guy there to see his mom, then, well....the guy would be leaving with a broken nose.

When he had finally reached his door and jerked it open, he was only slightly surprised to see both Kenny and Butters standing together; they had been spending a lot of time together lately. Eric rolled his eyes, knowing that if he let Butters stay, there would be no way he could get rid of Kenny. The blond was too damn persistent.

"What the hell do you two assholes want?"

Eric knew that he probably looked like shit; he felt like he did. He had on a pair of jogging pants and a tank top; they weren't the warmest things in the world, but he hadn't planned on leaving his bed, with its warm covers, that day. He was sweaty and his face was red. He looked like he had just came from a workout; the most exercise that he had gotten that day was moving from his couch to his bed.

'If these two thing they're getting a fuck from me, they're dead wrong. I'll kill these assholes if they try anything...'

"W-well..."

Butters started off, but didn't finish his sentence. His hands were fidgeting and it was obvious that the boy was nervous. Eric's eyes narrowed at the way that the blond was eyeing his face; if it was anyone else looking at his flushed cheeks, he would think that they were thinking something perverted.

'..Nah, it's Butters. Kenny on the other hand though..'

"You weren't at school today, fat ass."

Cartman rolled his eyes, not in the mood to even argue that he wasn't fat. When he switched his gaze to Kenny, he saw that he had been right; the poor boy was eyeing him like a piece of meat.

"I'm sick, dumb ass. I was in bed before you two assholes came along."

Cartman knew that Kenny wouldn't feel any remorse from dragging him out of bed, but he knew that Butters would feel bad for it. One glance at the blond told him that he was right; guilt flashed over Butters' face.

"W-we were w-worried, E-Eric. W-we th-thought that something m-might be w-wrong..."

Eric stared down at Butters, realizing that that must have been what was making the boy so nervous. He let out a quiet sigh, not meaning for the others to hear it, though he suspected that they had anyway.

'Wait....we?'

They hadn't brought Kyle, he realized. He was in no mood to put up with the loudmouth ginger at the moment though, so he shrugged it off.

"So you two thought you'd come and make me feel better?"

Despite not wanting to actually have sex, Eric had let his tone become suggestive. One look at Kenny and the smirk that he now had on his face told him that the boy had caught it, but glancing at Butters' non-flushed cheeks, he could tell that the smallest boy there was just as innocent as he had been when they had first started screwing around.

"O-oh, yeah! W-we wanted to make you feel r-real better, E-Eric!"

Kenny was probably trying hard not to laugh, Eric knew, but Butters had screamed-something that Eric wasn't in the mood to put up with at that particular moment. He had had a head ache all morning and for the life of him, he could remember where his mom had put the Aspirin. He didn't feel like getting up to actually look for it either. Eric sighed, fighting the urge to roll his eyes again.

"Dammit, Butters. It was a sex joke, which, speaking of sex, I'm not in the mood for. So get the hell out of my yard."

He was about to shut the door, but Kenny's foot in the doorway stopped it from closing all of the way. He had known that the blond wouldn't just let him go back to bed.

'That would have been too easy, wouldn't it? Where would the fun be in that? Poor people had to have fun some way, didn't they? Poor asshole.'

"Dammit, Kenneh!" Eric's own screaming made him wince, but he ignored it. "I'm not in the mood for this! I just want to go lay down! You know, in a nice, warm bed? Something your house doesn't have?"

Kenny rolled his eyes, but chose not to say anything. This alone was suspicious, until he realized what the poorer boy was doing; he was going to let Butters take the lead. Butters, who Eric didn't snap at nearly as much as he did Kenny.

'Damn poor piece of...'

Eric was tired though, and he didn't even have the energy to finish his thought.

"P-please E-Eric?"

Even though Eric couldn't see Butters now, he knew that his face was probably red from finally understanding the sex joke.

'Naive little..'

Eric sighed though, knowing that even if Butters gave up and left, Kenny, who was the real problem, would definitely stay out on his front porch, probably knocking, until he let the boy in. Not even bothering to threaten the poorest boy or to tell him to get off of his property one last time, Eric stepped back from the door, rolling his eyes one more time, to let the two of them in. He didn't wait to actually see them enter, though he knew they would, he turned, ready to go back to his room.

"Butters, make yourself useful and make me some soup."

He could hear Butters agree; he could also hear his quiet footsteps as he walked to the Cartman's kitchen. He almost jumped when he felt Kenny's hand on his back-he hadn't heard the boy come up behind him and he remembered once again that poor people had to be sneaky-but he stopped himself from doing it. He didn't bother making the boy remove his hand as he led him up to his bedroom.

They made it up to his room quietly, not one word spoken between them. Eric sat on his bed, his back leaning against his headboard, not bothering to pull the covers over him. He was cold, but it was too much effort. He decided to make Kenny be useful and do it, but the boy was heading out of his door.

"H-hey!" Eric ignored the fact that he had stuttered, putting it off as spending too much time around Butters. "Where are you going, you poor piece of crap?!" Again, the screaming made him wince. "Don't you go molest Butters in mah kitchen!" His accent was beginning to come out more because of his irritation. "Don't eat all of mah food either!

He saw Kenny smirk; that was never a good sign. He briefly considered getting up and following the boy, but he decided that it was too much effort and that he would just kill Kenny when he felt better later. He saw the boy shrug.

"Stay."

"Don't tell me what to do, you poor piece of-"

Eric stopped screaming when Kenny left the room; screaming took too much of his much needed energy. It wasn't like he had planned on getting up, anyway. He sat there, waiting for his food. He could hear the sink come on, but he ignored it, thinking that Kenny had probably had to go to the bathroom.

'He's probably eating my soap.'

When Kenny re-entered the room, he had a wet washcloth in his hand. Eric's eyes narrowed when he saw it, but he didn't say anything. Kenny approached his bed, causing Eric to tense.

"Remember Kenneh, no sex."

The blond rolled his blue eyes, once again, but otherwise acted like he hadn't ignored the statement. With his free hand, he placed it on Eric's forehead, brushing strands of hair away from it. Eric considered telling him that he didn't want Kenny's bony fingers touching him, but he decided to keep quiet; Kenny's fingers were slightly cold and they felt good against his burning forehead. They didn't stay there long though; Kenny removed them, replacing them with the wet washcloth that he had brought back from the bathroom. It had been whetted with cold water, and Eric felt his eyes closing it touched his skin.

"You're burning up."

If it was anyone else but Kenny, they would have suggest for him to go to the hospital. The blond hated that place though, so he didn't bring it up. Instead, he simply kept the washcloth there until Butters entered the room, bowl of soup in hands. Kenny stood up at the sight of the other blond, removing the cloth, and causing Eric's eyes to open.

"He likes orange juice when he's sick. I'll go get it."

Eric briefly wondered how Kenny could even remember something like that, but let the thought go when Butters sat down on his bed with his soup.

"N-now, open wide, E-Eric."

Eric rolled his eyes once again. Of course Butters would treat him like a baby when he was sick. He was as bad as his mother.

"I'm sick Butters, I'm not a baby."

"O-oh, well, I kn-know. I-I just wanted t-ta take care of you.."

Butters had looked slightly hurt when Eric had snapped at him, and even though Eric rolled his eyes again, he gave in.

"Fine, fine. Just don't spill it on my sheets. If you do, you're cleaning them, Butters."

'I doubt he'd mind.' He thought, once Butters began to feed him. 'He acts like a housewife..'

He was breifly reminded of when they were kids and they were trying to get Butters fat. Chef had told them that one of them had to marry him, and Kyle-he believed that it was Kyle anyway-had told the older man that none of them wanted to marry Butters.

'Hm..'

His train of thought was lost when Kenny returned with his juice. The blond sat it down on his night stand while he sat himself down on the opposite side of Butters. He had brought back the washcloth that he had had earlier, after apparently re-wetting it. This time, he pressed it to more than Eric's forehead, washing off some of the sweat that had formed there earlier.

Eric Cartman sat between Butters and Kenny, thinking that he had found something other than sex that his two hoes were good for.

'I wonder if Kyle would be any good at-'

He stopped mid-thought, his mind momentarily forgetting about Kyle, after Butters had placed his bowl on the table beside his juice, and had pulled Eric's blanket over him.

"You should lay down."

Eric decided to listen to Kenny for once; he laid back in his bed, feeling better than he had before the two blonds had shown up on his door.

"F-feel b-better, Eric."

Butters placed a soft kiss on his forehead, the boy's cheeks flushing.

'I think that I already do, Butters, I think that I already do.'


A/N: Wow. I'm proud about how long this is. It took over an hour to type, but I think that it was worth losing some sleep. :-l Not that I need any...Eh, who am I kidding? I'm still tired. Figures. Oh well. No use being so angry~

I bet that when I said Butters and Kenny would probably be in this-I mentioned it at the end of the last chapter-you guys thought that there'd be more Bunny. No~ I can resist it~

Ah...Around the end of this chapter, I started listening to "Iris" by (The?) Goo Goo Dolls. I'd suggest listening to it if you haven't heard it. Also, the "For the life of him, he couldn't remember" line in this? My favorite song ("The Freshman" by The Verve Pipe) says this:

For the life of me,

I cannot remember

What made us think that we were wise

And we'd never compromise

I dunno. I listen to it so much, it's become a habit for me to say "For the life of me, I cannot remember". I think I've mentioned this in a earlier chapter. I tried to listen to it while I was typing this, but it kept distracting me, so I gave up on it. Oh well~

Angelic Guardian: I liked the song, by the way. I think I like "Hate Me" more though. Oh well~ Thank you for suggesting it.

Anyway~ I hope you guys like the chapter.