^_^ So, thanks for all of your reviews!! I'm so glad you guys are liking my story, and for that I've deleted three of the chapters I'd had typed in advance because I didn't like them. I think I was going a little too fast, so I've decided to add another twist to the story, something I hope you'll like! Reviews are always appreciated and loved, hence why I've been able to update so fast ;P
Here you go!
By the time the second Friday of my life in Forks rolled around, I was the most hated kid in school. Well, I don't know if hated would be the right word, but it was an official taboo to talk to me, let alone be nice to me. Kids gave me a wide berth, and even some teachers just let me stay to myself, never asking me for answers or anything. I don't know if there was a valid reason as to why I became a pariah… not until my second Friday at least. By the end of that day, it was all cleared up and stamped with a pretty insignia.
It was raining. No surprise there, but it was a distracting rain. It wasn't the light pitter patter where you day dream, and it wasn't a hard core down pour right on your heads. No, it was a wind screaming, lightning cackling, thunder roaring storm that swept water around in sheets that hit in wide arcs or stinging needles. It slammed against the windows of my first period classroom with a vengeance, almost like it was seeking someone.
Since no one was drawing attention to it though, neither was I.
My father had finally let me drive my own car to school this week; he said he couldn't bother with the extra gas. As if gas prices were really a problem in Forks, but it didn't matter. At least the so called father daughter bonding time was done. I don't know how much more I could take of it.
I was drawing in a little sketch pad I had found in the house, erasers and pencils out in front of me like a discombobulating mess of useless junk, but the teacher didn't mind. Ms. Frasier had given me a test last Friday, and this morning she said my score was high enough that as long as I passed the tests to come, I would get an A in the class. So now, literature was like a free art period for me.
Though, it was pretty disconcerting to work with Jasper leaning over your shoulder sometimes.
Ok, so he wasn't leaning over my shoulder. But sometimes, when I'd glance up, I would notice him watching me draw, an unreadable look on his face. Whenever he would notice me noticing him though, he would jerk his head quickly to the front, lips pursed from whatever he was thinking about. He didn't speak a word to me, not in any of the five classes we had together. This was really awkward since in three of the classes we had to sit next to each other, the reluctant partners in Biology, the taciturn, silent ones in History, and the awkward ones in Literature.
He really wasn't a people person, it seemed.
Grabbing my lighter pencil, I began sketching clouds, giving them a wispy, fluttering appearance since, let's face it, clouds should be bright and happy in pictures, not dark and dreary, like the ones in real life.
It was raining black droplets in a white light.
I froze, gripping my pencil a bit too harshly, making a dark, jagged line rip across my clouds, giving the look of lightening breaking through. My mind was becoming a frenzy of situations falling into place with one another, but moving too fast for me to keep track of. I was going to get hurt, but it was unsure when, or if I would survive. No, it depended on someone as to whether I would… all I know is that an immense panic would be building inside of me before it vanished, leaving me dizzy with serenity before I would get into a horrible, dark car crash.
Who was with me though? Someone was in the seat next to me, they the passenger, me the driver. They didn't seem panicked for themselves though. I couldn't see who it was, or if they'd be alright, it was just blackness next to me in the seat, my face sickeningly sweet as I collided with a large, over bearing-
"Alice?" I jerked from the vision, blinking rapidly, not realizing I was breathing a little too jerkily for comfort, and the pencil I had been gripping had snapped in my hand. Looking down at the broken wood and jagged, dangerous lead I felt something in me break a little, seeing as that was how I'd end up. Looking up, I realized that someone had spoken to me out loud, meaning I should answer, and I was surprised to see that it was Jasper who had addressed me, looking perturbed.
"Are you ok?" He asked, brows furrowed in confusion. I tilted my head, surprised to see that he had actually talked to me, miss pariah. I opened my mouth, about to give him a quick lie saying I was perfectly fine, until the realization that I was actually perfectly calm and fine made me stop and close my mouth.
"Uh… yeah?" I shook my head, realizing this sounded like a question. Why did I feel at ease? Even seeing my wreck in my mind, the vivid look of sickening peace on my face didn't make my heart accelerate and leave me panicking. "I mean… yeah." Frowning, I turned back to my drawing, setting aside the broken pencil to get a darker one. "Thanks."
"… Not a problem at all." Did he sound slightly amused at that? Glancing at him from the corner of my eyes, I saw Jasper give a small smile to himself before looking back at the teacher who was about to ask him a question.
"Jasper, what kind of statement is that known as?" Ms. Frasier asked.
"An if-and-then statement, ma'am." He answered her in bored, dull tones.
Outside, the thunder rumbled as I calmly began drawing my car accident.
Lunch was boring whenever you sat by yourself. Even though I knew it was better to stand alone for myself, no one could ever say they really minded being all alone at a table for ten, only one seat taken. No one could say they minded everyone talking about them behind their backs for no reason. Sure, it got old and you learned to ignore it, but no one really liked it.
"Mind if I sit here?" I jumped out of my chair, letting out a childish squeak as Jasper appeared at my elbow, hesitant with guarded gold eyes, looking dangerously good with disheveled, light blond locks. I was sure he was about to start laughing at the way I was breathing heavily with wide eyes, but the guy -though he was a bit of a grouch- had enough politeness not to say anything about it. Confused, I nodded slowly, looking to the table next to mine to see the rest of the Cullens looking anywhere but at Jasper who sat down, his back to his family, right next to me.
Looking down, feeling slight anger in the back of my throat, I pulled out my paper to begin doodling again.
"Do you ever eat school lunch food?" He asked, musical voice pulling me from my drawing bubble and back into the present where the Greek God Adonis sat, lounging pristinely in his chair the way only the Cullen boys could. It was like they both wanted to be proper and relaxed at the same time, giving a mix of the two but still looking good. As if they could actually look bad.
"No… but you don't either." I pointed out, hoping he didn't ask why I had noticed. I don't know why I didn't either, but for some reason I did notice. They all loaded their trays with food, giving the looks of hungry, starving children, but when they threw the food away, not even a ruffles chips bag had been opened. Maybe a roll had been picked apart, or an orange unpeeled, but nothing ever actually eaten.
"… We eat a lot at home." He quirked an almost indiscernible smile at this, like he shared a private joke, making me curious, but a little angry too. His smile reminded me of class, him smiling at breaking my pencil, which reminded me of my eraser, which reminded me of him taking it, which reminded me of him giving me the worst treatment of everyone in this school.
"Why are you even talking to me?" I demanded, pushing a few bangs from my eyes. I'd have to cut them again; they were getting a little long and in my eyes, distracting me too easily. I glared up at Jasper's baffled face, golden eyes wide and piercing, like he was in pain. Slight guilt shocked me, but I stamped it down. Maybe if I held my ground, I'd get answers. Why did he think it would be ok to glare at me from afar but act polite when he was talking to me? It really didn't make sense.
"Do you not want to talk to me?" He was frowning, staring at the table with a sick look on his face, and for some reason I felt a slight despair at hearing him ask me that. It was like I had been so hopeful moments before… and now I was crushed. Wait, what was going on with me?
"It's a little late in the game, don't you think?" I raised an eyebrow, trying to gain back my anger from before, knowing it would be really strange to act upset about the way he'd been treating me. Talk about double standards.
"I know, it's just… I've been terribly rude to you, and I'm sorry." His eyes flickered up to my face, showing me something that took my breath away for a second. Whether Jasper realized it or not… I saw a hint of an aching depression that threatened to rip him apart. I don't think any of his family would know about this; it was such a tangible pain that I felt like it was almost a part of me. He seemed so worried about my reaction, as if he could either help or hinder it by the way he was staring, and before I even realized it, I knew what my answer would be.
"Not that I don't forgive you… but why even do it at all?" I looked down at my half finished picture, tracing the car's outline with my eyes. "I know I haven't done anything wrong." I looked back up, watching him watch me through his bangs.
"I- you remind me of… someone I knew." His eyes looked down, and then back up, drinking in my appearance in a way that was slightly flattering, but slightly daunting. What exactly was he playing at? He had to be lying.
"Someone you really hate?" I felt myself slightly smirking, but I was slightly sad as well. Outside, the wind screamed something fierce as rain fell in torrents, similar to bullets raining down on innocents. The room felt chilly from the cold wind that would blow through the doors that opened to admit rain soaked kids, and shivering slightly I pulled my jacket tighter.
"You draw wonderfully." Jasper chose at that moment to point past me to my scattered drawings, his artistic fingers finding one that had detailed woods, a wolf slinking along in the shadows, his prey bathed in moonlight. As he leaned slightly closer to pull a few papers towards him, I inhaled, realizing that not only did this kid look good… he smelled amazing too. Slightly disoriented, I glanced confusingly at the pictures, wondering what we were talking about. What had we just been discussing? Looking up at his guilty but calm face, I found I couldn't tell.
"Uh… thank you?" I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. What was going on? Why couldn't I actually focus around him? Why did he have this effect on me? And then... something else hit harder than the wreck I've seen... harder than when they first locked me away.
"Alice? Are you ok?" I looked up to see Jasper leaning towards me, concern his dominant facial expression, but that wasn't what I was focusing on.
They knew. They were laughing, their eyes disgustingly bright with amusement and mirth. There was no mercy in those eyes that now had a real reason for mocking me. I was different. Different in a way no one else here could ever understand.
I was running, something close behind me, something coming up fast.
"Get away from me!" I snapped feebly, but it was to no avail. Something was gaining on me quickly, and there was no turning back.
I gasped, rearing back, half standing up in an attempt to get away from what was about to happen in three… two… one-
An eruption of laughter circled around Jessica and Mike's group, their faces sick with amusement. I wasn't curious as to what was going on though; I had already seen this happening. Something I knew would ruin me forever.
"Alice, what's going on?" The laughter was bubbling, passing through the close tables quickly, and blindly I began grabbing my stuff, shoving the papers into my bag quickly, bending and stuffing in a last ditch effort before I knew I was eternally screwed. Maybe if I hurried, I would get away before they all looked at me. Blinking back panicked tears, I battered Jasper's freezing cold hands away from my papers to grab them, pulling on one and ripping it in half. Without realizing what I had done, I stuffed the half sheet into my bag, zipping it up as pictures I didn't want to see rushed through my mind.
How did they know? How had they found out? Who would even begin to guess? My eyes flashed from Jasper to the Cullens' table where Edward was looking at me, shock written clear on his face. Oh no... he knew too? This couldn't get any worse.
"Alice, calm down, ok?" Jasper was reaching towards me, but I pulled back, stumbling over my chair, realizing too late that there was no way out of this. I don't know how I missed the signs, but missed them I had, and now I was faced with one of the only things that could make me fall.
My past.
People's eyes began turning, their jeering faces melting together in a sick wave of embarrassment as the entire population of Forks High School realized that their new student used to live, not in Florida, but in Mississippi, at a mental institute.
