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Chapter six: the FANGIRLS

Hey guys, it's me again.

Sorry That this took a while to make, but I live off comments so… yeah. All kidding aside, though, I was kinda disappointed by the lack thereof. I mean, come on, my writing isn't that bad.

Whatever, I shouldn't be taking this personally. Just leave a comment, please. Please? For me? Pretty please with two eggs and a slice of bacon?

Disclaimer: I do not take ownership for the action of creating or being part of the associative staff for the following topic.

Third person POV

Itachi sat on the couch, calmly, thinking about what would become of the predicament. They had just appeared in a new world of people, drained of all their chakra, and in the beginning form of kittens. they had happened across a group of pretty teenage girls, who apparently are fans of him and his fellow teammates. This was starting to sound like one of jiriya's novels. (can you say, PG-13?)

Suddenly, the girl they called myka flopped down on the couch next to him, and wrapped her arms around him. He sat there, awkwardly, wondering what behavior this girl was exhibiting. Had she been of legal age, he would've said she was drunk, or high.

"What is that you are doing?" He asked, monotone.

"Cuddling." She told him, burning her face in his shoulder. She had said it so plainly, it seemed like a normal occurrence to go up to a deadly, S-ranked shinobi with the Sharingan, and begin hugging them. What strange new world had they stumbled across?

Finally the twins brought over boxes of old clothes. Good thing too, some of the more perverted members began hitting on Missy.

"Hey there, beautiful." Deidara said, trying to put his arm around her, "Y'know, beauty is art, art is a bang. Beauty I-"

"-Want I bang you." Missy finished for him, "yeah, I saw that web comic."

Deidara raised an eyebrow, and walked away scratching his head. Hidan walked up, flexing his muscles noticeably. (to all men reading this: don't try that, it doesn't work.)

"Sup bitch?" He said, "It's almost time for my pleasure ritual to Jashin-sama. Maybe you'd like to join me?" (Addressing women as "Bitch" often doesn't work either.)

"Thanks for the offer," Missy said, reading a book, "but I really don't want to sacrifice my virginity to Jashin."

Hidan walked away, looking offended, and Zetsu walked up to her. She took one look at him, and said, "No.", going back to her book.

He walked away, an emo cloud covering his head. "I told you we should've eaten her." Black Zetsu said.

She kept casting Itachi glances over her shoulder, flipping her hair or smiling at him whenever he'd look in her general direction. He, of course, was more preoccupied with not snapping the neck of the girl hugging him.

Aiden and Jayden dropped the boxes on the floor, and said, "Okay, guys, we got clothes for everyone! Five bucks each!"

"I like how you think." Kakuzu told the brothers.

"Really?" Missy said, head locking them again, "Five dollars seems AWFULLY EXPENSIVE!"

"Gah!" Aiden said, "Of course, you guys get the big sister discount!"

"That's better." She said, releasing them to sulk and rub their necks. She reached into the box, and picked out some jeans and a tight black V-neck. She walked up to Itachi, and sexily told him to put them on. Myka burned inside at her sisters advances to Itachi.

Itachi walked away with the clothes emotionless. (this dude seriously has no idea how many fangirls he has in this world? I foresee a very rude awakening later on)

Suddenly, all the girls realized that they had the opportunity to dress up the Akatsuki however they wanted. They tried to look contained, while really looking like they're about to throw up a rainbow.

"Here Hidan, try this on." Jess told him, giving him a pair of slacks.

"Why should I?" He said, and then sweatdropped at her glare.

"Okay, okay." He said, as a shirt caught his eye, "Whoa! Check that out!" He reached into a box, and pulled out a shirt that said, "I fuck on the first date."

"Cool, huh?" He said, as jess began thinking of a reason to tell him why he couldn't wear that. Jayden beat her to it.

"Uh, actually I need that." He said, swiping it.

"Dammit." Hidan said, and went to try in the slacks.

"Lynsey, this shirt doesn't fit either." Kisame said, walking back in.

"Looks fine to me." She said in her daydream voice.

"How? It doesn't cover my stomach." He said, as she stared at his abs.

"Try this one." She said, handing him another shirt.

He groaned, "I don't know why you keep giving me these, they seem smaller to me."

"Here, I found some clothes for you." Aiden told Konan, handing her skinny jeans, and a purple tank top.

"Thank you. These look very nice." She said.

"Yeah, try not to show missy, or she'll notice that they're missing." He said.

She began taking off her towel in front of him, and he covered his eyes. "What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to give me another nosebleed?!" He said, pulling her towel back up.

"No, I-" she began, but he said, "Go to the bathroom to change, okay?"

She walked down the hall, and Aiden tossed pain some clothes. By the time the whole ordeal was done, they looked upon the train wreck they had created.

Kisame wore a blue shirt that barely went over his waist with the word, "Jaws." On it. He had on some khaki shorts, with cargo pockets. Itachi wore the clothes missy set out for him, and a sullen expression at how tightly the shirt hugged his frame.

Hidan wore some black slacks and a shirt that had a grim reaper on it. He kept glancing down at it anxiously, muttering some nonsense about Jashin. Kakuzu had on dress chinos with a shirt that had a picture of Mr. Krabs on it. Jayden was still explaining all that the ragdoll had in common with the stingy crustacean, as Kakuzu listened with great interest every time Jayden mentioned money.

Zetsu was wearing some flower print shorts with a white tank top. He was sulking because they didnt have anything else that would fit him. Tobi had on a shirt with a lollypop, and some running shorts. Deidara had a picture of the atomic bomb on his shirt, with some bootcut jeans missy loaned him.

"Y'know, I'm surprised you guys had all these clothes of different shapes and sizes on hand." Myka said.

"Have you ever been to our apartment? We're pack-rats." They told her.

"Okay everyone." Pain addressed them, "we need a plan for where we will stay. Perhaps we could check into a hotel."

"No!" All the girls said at once, making everyone stare.

"We'll, you guys should stay here! We already know everything about you, and we can make sure you guys have everything you need!" Jess said, ever so quick on the lie, "plus you need money for a hotel."

Kakuzu promptly sat down on the couch, stretching.

"I could learn to like this place." he said, sighing.

"Why, un?" Deidara said, quizzically, "This place is so dammed small!"

"yes, but its so damn FREE!" Kakuzu said, spreading his arms as if advertising it.

Pain though this over, as Tobi began begging at his feet. He nodded, and said, "thank you, we will stay here."

"Wait, live here? With these sadistic bitches?" Hidan said. He began begging at pains feet also, asking him to, "Stoppit for Jashins sake!"

"Man up." Kakuzu told his partner, yanking him to his feet, "you can't die, remember?"

"Its settled. We'll stay here until we can get home." Pain said, and the girls high-fived.

"Okay, now we need to see where everyone will sleep." Missy said.

"We have four apartments among us." Myka said, "and six bedrooms."

"Waitasecond." Jayden and aiden said at the same time, "so now we aren't just giving stuff away, we're running a B&B?"

They didn't seem too friendly to the idea, but decided to shut up when given the death glare by the girls. (don't laugh. Girls are scary as F #!)

"Okay, there's nine shinobi, and six rooms…" missy said, thinking.

"We'll, if we double them up, maybe we could fit them in them all…" Jess said.

"Where would we sleep?" Myka asked.

They all began talking at once, causing Jayden and aiden to facepalm. This had been one crazy day.

Hidans POV

Stupid bitches.

They were arguing about where I was going to sleep. Apparently, none of them wanted to be anywhere near me when the lights went out. What did they think I was going to do? Rape is a sin!

Wait, is it rape if they like it?

The old miser Kakuzu seemed like he was having fun learning about all the new types of currency in this world, as if THATS what's important.

Hey, do they have Jashin here? Of course they do!

I still don't know why Lord Jashin allowed his most faithful follower to get sent to this fuckin' hellhole as a cat, shouldn't I go to paradise?

Not that I was doubting your infinite wisdom, jashin-sama! I was jut voicing that which I don't understand!

Nice fuckin' job, Hidan. Now you'll never get to paradise.

"Hey Hidan." The bitch named Jess said, "where do you want to sleep?"

"A bed? Maybe yours." I said, trying to be funny.

She didnt seem to appreciate my humor, "a bed, huh? How about a bed of NAILS!"

"Jeez, bitch, I was kidding!" I said, stepping back.

She walked away, and I sighed. Man, these bitches couldn't take a joke! How come Itachi got all the attention, huh? What's he got that I don't, childhood issues? That fuckin' uchiha.

Anyway, Konan-chan seemed to be very sexy-looking in that outfit the aiden guy gave her. She also seemed to be very interested in him, in a stalker-like, creepy way. I hoped to HELL that guy didnt reject her or we'd all be sorry.

I walked up to kisame, and we began talking about which ways we should kill them. That's the good thing about fish-fuck, he likes to kill almost as much as me. If only he were Jashinist.

"Too had we don't have our weapons." I said, "now how am I gonna make my ritual without my pikes?"

"And I don't have samehada." Kisame said, "most likely someone's recovered it by now, and I'll have to take it back."

I looked back, and saw that Jess-bitch staring at me. I had never revived that kind of stare before. Meh, maybe it was a new kind of death stare. That's the only stare I ever got.

Stupid bitches.

And I'm done. This chapter is longer because I split it between two POV. Sorry if I don't do a good Hidan, my brother is the Hidan for our Akatsuki group.

Ooh! In the comments section, guess which one i am!

Mmkay, later.