A/N: Y'all know I don't own anything. On with the show!

Chapter 5: Discovery

The pregnancy test did not escape my mind. I hid it in various places around the appartment, hoping it would simply vanish. But not even ten minutes later, I would go find it again and stare at it, fear flooding my body. I had to try and forget about it...or at least shove it into a corner of my mind while I preoccupied myself with other matters. For instance, the nightmares. They hadn't stopped, in fact they'd gotten worse. Kate had called me a week after my chat with Widmore and against my better judgement, my fear of the man who was doing all in his power to find the island, and my pride -- I confessed everything to her.

" What do I do, Kate?" I'd asked frantically, " They're getting worse!"

" How?" she asked in a offhanded voice. I could tell she hadn't counted on her former rival dumping all her baggage on her as soon as she'd called.

" Now I'm the one killing him," I said in a terrified whisper. " and Widmore has people dropping in on me daily. I don't think I can take this much longer!"

" Calm down okay?" she said softly, " Listen to me. It'll be okay. Here's what I think you should do..."

So after an hour long conversation, I sat in the bathroom, holding a used pregnancy test away from me as if it was diseased. Kate had suggested I concentrate on myself, not worry about Widmore or Sawyer, or the nightmares. Just try to take it easy. So I'd grabbed the pregnancy test, figuring it couldn't hurt, even though it'd nearly been five months since I'd been rescued. I subconsciously ran my fingers over my stomach, suddenly frightened. Then I looked at the test. There was a small plus sign; and suddenly I remembered that Sawyer and I had slept together the week before rescue came. If that was the case, I should be around four months pregnant. The odd thing was, no morning sickness or anything...but then maybe something had happened while I'd been in a coma. I pulled out the card that had the number to my doctor's office and dialled the number.

" Hello, Doctor Caraman speaking," said a female voice.

" Hello, Dr. Caraman, this is Ri -- Marissa Klarke. I was your patient while in a coma for two months?"

" Ah yes, I remember," she said. " What can I do for you, Ms. Klarke?"

" Yes," I said in a small voice. " I just took a pregnancy test, and --"

" Ah yeah I remember when you were brought in, we ran some extensive tests."

" So why wasn't I told that I'm pregnant?!" I said angrily. " Why do I have to find it out for myself...shit, why do I suddenly have a craving for chocolate chip cookies?"

Dr. Caraman laughed.

" I'm sorry you weren't told, Ms. Klarke. We weren't sure if the fetus would survive while you were incapacitated. It appears it went into some sort of hybernation mode." she paused. " Which is amazing. There's no record ever of the fetus surviving in an incapacitated womb by copying the mother. My guess is it just came out of it if you're having cravings. Would you like me to reccomend an OBGYN?"

" Yes," I said, sounding relieved, " That would be great. Thank you."

" You're an idiot, you know," said Sawyer softly, as he traced soft circles on my arm.

I rolled over and glared at him.

" Riiight," I snapped. " I'm the idiot. I started this whole thing not you."

" Are you saying that what just happened is my fault?" he said incrudulously.

I sat up and started to put my clothes back on.

" Don't you put that on me," he snapped. " You're the one who came in here and wanted to thank me for saving your life."

" And when I tried to leave, you stopped me." I said hoarsely.

" I didn't keep you here by force. You could have left if you wanted to, and you didn't. You knew exactly what you were doing."

I started to get up and leave. He grabbed my arm.

" No." said Sawyer. " Riley, I don't regret what happened. You shouldn't either."

" That looks great, Mar," said Jackie, my supervisor at the Department of Health. I'd gotten a job there two weeks after I found out I was pregnant.

" Thanks Jackie," I grinned.

" You okay? I know the job takes some getting used to, and you've only been here a couple weeks..."

I shrugged.

" I'm fine, I'm pregnant." I paused. " I'll have those contracts on your desk before I leave, okay."

" That's fine," said Jackie, she eyed the small bump that was my protruding gut. " I think he'd be proud of you, Mar...your fiancé." she said when I looked confused. " Four months along and doing pretty damn well on your own, if I do say so myself."

I looked at the ground. I was uncomfortable with others mentioning Sawyer so casually...as though they thought they knew him.

" I'll let you get back to work then," she said after a few minutes. Then she went back to her office.

" Why are you doing this?"

" What?" asked Sawyer.

" Why are you doing this?" I repeated.

He sighed and leaned over to pick up a stalk of bamboo he'd just chopped.

" Because," he said, " I need to."

" Why?!" I yelled. " Why do you get to risk your neck for rescue?! You don't give a damn --"

" And Kate does?!" he yelled back. " She only cares about herself."

" Why the hell are you bringing her up?" I said, disgust plain in my voice. " Geez, you two are made for each other."

" Hold up a minute, Snake." he said angrily. " You wanna know why I'm doing this? I mean really wanna know?"

" Yes." I said through gritted teeth.

" Because." he said softly. " Because I care about you, Snake. I know how bad you want off this rock. Believe me, I do."

He shouldered the bamboo rod and kissed my cheek.

" I know you care about me, Sawyer." I said softly. " I just have a hard time believing it. You're either with me or you're flirting with Kate."

" Believe it," he murmured. " 'Cause when I get back, you're gonna have such a hard time keeping your clothes on --"

I squealed and hit him playfully across the chest. Then I kissed him.

" I'll be waiting."

" Marissa? Hello, Earth paging Marissa. The aliens called, they want their brain back."

I flinched and saw my coworker, Leigh staring at me.

" Pitiful," I said, " That's the best you can come up with?"

Leigh laughed.

" Sorry. You've got a call on line 5."

I chuckled and watched as she walked back to her cubicle. I picked up my phone.

" Hello, this is Marissa Klarke."

" Ms. Klarke?" said a female's voice. " This is Regina Miller. I work for Mr. Widmore."

" I want nothing to do with him," I said at once, my voice cold. " Tell him that. I made my choice. If he doesn't leave me alone, I'm going to kill him."

I hung up.

THREE WEEKS LATER...

" Okay, lift up your shirt," said Doctor Davis. She was the OBGYN that Doctor Caramen had put me in touch with almost a month prior.

I did and she squirted gel on my stomach. I smiled appologetically.

" It's cold." I murmured.

She laughed.

" That's alright," she said as she placed the probe on my belly. " So let's take a look at your little one, hmm?"

I watched the screen expectantly and when my baby showed on the screen I almost lost it.

" Wow," was all I could manage to choke out. " It's healthy, right? It's okay?"

Davis smiled at me.

" Yes, very healthy. Would you like to know the sex?"

I stared at the moving image on the screen of the ultrasound machine, momentarily dazed. Back when I found out I was pregnant, I would have killed to know how Sawyer would feel, had he known the news. Now I was the only one who knew, the only one who could do anything about it.

" Marissa?" said Doctor Davis.

" Mmmm? Oh the sex..." I thought about it for a minute. " No. I want it to be a surprise."

Davis lifted the probe.

" Alright. Then if you'll speak to the secretary, we'll get you another appointment so we can check the baby's health and development."

" Okay," I said. " I'd better go, I've got a lot to do today."

" So what do you think will happen now?" asked Claire.

I looked up from the blanket I was sewing. It wasn't really a blanket, it was a bunch of t-shirts that I'd cut the sleeves off of and was sewing them together.

" I don't know," I said, " I guess we just wait for the guys to come back with rescue."

" Hey, Riley!" both Claire and I looked up to see Kate running toward me.

" Hi Kate." I said. She looked upset. " What's wrong?"

" I need you to come to the hatch. Now!"

I stood, noting that the urgency in her voice meant something terrible had happened. She grabbed my arm and we ran to the hatch. My stomach lurched as soon as we entered.

" No." I whispered.

Sawyer's prone figure was lying in the bottom bunk. I couldn't tell whether or not he was dead. Jack, who'd been bending over him, looked up when Kate cleared her throat.

" Riley." he said.

" Is he --" my throat became constricted and words failed me.

" He's okay for now, he's sleeping." said Jack. He looked at Kate, then at me. " Do you want to sit with him for a while?"

I nodded and sat down next to the bed without a word to either of them.

I sighed and pressed the pause button on my mp3 player before shuffling the stack of checks in front of me. The few bills I'd been mailed were nearly due, and I wanted to make sure I got them in on time. I couldn't afford any late fees. Just then, the doorbell rang.

" Coming!" I called, with a sigh.

It was the guy who delivered my mail. His name was Steve.

" Hey Steve." I said, smiling tentatively at him.

" Hi Marissa." he said as he handed over a small stack of envelopes. " How are you doing?"

" Fine," I smiled. A small fisure of pain shot through the ruined side of my face and I winced. " As long as I take my pain meds, I mean."

Steve smiled sympathetically at me.

" Sorry."

" It's not your fault," I said. " The fault's mine, even though I don't remember how I got it."

His eyes drifted to my belly.

" Do you know what it is?" he asked.

I shook my head.

" No. I want it to be a surprise." I glanced down the hallway. " So I'll see you tomorrow."

" Sure," Steve shifted his weight, looking awkward. " Hey, if you need anything, give me a call, okay. You have my number."

I smiled at him.

" Thanks. I'll take that into consideration."


Okay so this kind of ended on a weird note for me, but oh well. Look for ol' Bug Eye, aka Ben in the next couple chapters...he has BIG news!! Shoot I just spoiled that...GAHHHHHH!! lol, okay shutting up. Please review!