CHAPTER SEVEN
An Evildoer's Fetch Quest
Her crying had stopped after a while. Mainly with Caela feeling bad enough to start comforting Rin, and getting her comfortable in Leanbox's Basilicom. Despite the fight Rin put up, Vert didn't plan to threaten or interrogate her.
"What exactly is a qilin anyway? Sounds dumb." Kazooie commented, before being hit on the head by Banjo, forcing her to retract into his backpack.
"It's a mythical, dragon-like creature with hooves, I think. It comes from Chinese culture." Reimu replied.
"Chinese monster, huh?" The Gunstringer questioned, readying one of his revolvers. "Did the Beard Master send ya?" Noticing Rin's fearful expression, he tried to not look serious. "I'm uh, only kiddin', don't take it to heart."
"I'm a reincarnation of a qilin, and… I worked as a nurse." Rin explained to them all, nervously. "Qilins have the power to bring good fortune, protection, healing, and fertility. So before I vanished, those who were down on their luck or hurt, would come visit me."
There was a moment of hesitance, she was actively avoiding eye contact with everyone. "So it's a bit like a unicorn, but Chinese?" Blinx wondered.
"Qilins also punish the wicked," she continued, "which is why I was in line to be one of the heroines. Though, n-now that I think about it… my sense of detecting a bad and good person aren't always the best." Rin felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. "On top of losing, maybe that's why I wasn't cut for protagonist material at all."
"Heh, well, let's test it out then." Vince suggested, looking smug. "Do the Gunstringer and I look like 'wicked ones' to you? I'll give you a hint, skele-puppet over there is out for revenge."
Pausing again, Rin tried to focus her attention on the two of them. "No. You haven't made any threats at me. The other guy though… he's scary, but who did you want revenge on?"
"My posse, who betrayed me and left me for dead. None of 'em are particularly pleasant people, mind ya. Not that it stops the miko over there from thinkin' I'm up to nothin' good." The Gunstringer answered. He hated talking about that, but it maybe Rin would understand it better than Reimu normally would.
"I think a more important question on my mind is, you mentioned an angel upon capturing us." Glacius pointed out, Madotsuki even nodding in agreement. "They said you would become the main character for doing this, who were they?"
She folded her arms in a defensive manner. "L-leave my angel out of this! He was the only one who showed me any love during my years of isolation!"
"Your… angel?" Caela looked dumbfounded.
"Miss, we do not plan to antagonize this person, we just simply want his name." Jack Walters tried to keep calm. Sure, the situation was weird, but he might as well keep his more stable character in order to get answers. After all, he was a detective.
"Sam, my um, boyfriend." Rin's face went as red as the cherries in her hair, having to cover herself up with her own sleeves.
Vince and Kazooie both glanced at Sam Fisher, who was in the room. "I don't know why you two are looking at me, I'm pretty certain this is a different guy." Fisher said to them.
"He's kind of a dainty boy for an angel, and told me that if I wanted to be a proper heroine unlike Reimu, I would have to beat up youkai and dispose of all of the other main characters. Since he's an angel, and one who acted like a guardian to me and a couple others, I—"
"An angel named Sam?" Jack Walters interrupted her. "As in, Samael?" She nodded in response. This definitely showed that Rin couldn't sense wickedness in everyone. "I'm not sure if all of you know, especially the more eastern characters like yourself, but in lore, Samael translates to 'venom of god' and such. He's described as not being a good angel."
"W-what!?" Rin then covered herself up further. "I don't believe you! He's just a small angel, not a bad man! He's sweet, and tries to cheer me up, how can you say that he's a bad angel?"
"The fact maybe he told you to eliminate others so you can be the hero? That sounds pretty bad!" Caela retorted. "Right Walters?"
Thinking over the facts, there just weren't enough of them. "I'm not the most mentally sound detective, but I can easily say we don't know enough about him to say much. For all we know, it could be an angel with an unfortunate name, or he has a soft spot for this girl."
Reimu was lost in thought as they kept chattering. The fact the one who sent Rin was an angel, who was also speaking ill of the shrine maiden… it almost pointed to being connected to another angel, with a similar name.
—
"It better be somewhere around here. That sleeping one and the angel better not have been fooling us."
"There wouldn't be any reason for that, unless we were disposable to the others. And I, am clearly not."
He tried not to laugh at the anglerfish's remark. Still, it was pathetic that they were out to do a fetch quest, originally, they were going to attack along with the monster they had up their sleeve, but now it seemed they had to go into Lowee with stealth.
All because of that human. They were all notified about it, and could not risk bringing attention… just yet.
Entering the ruins of the valley, both of them were cautious, making sure no one else was present. It wouldn't mean much for the dome-headed character, as he could fight back with ease. The fish, on the other hand, not so much.
Their mission was to find a ring. One that only sorcerers could break the seal of.
Just take the ring, then they could start causing havoc afterwards. Particularly, with the monster they had on their side.
"There it is!" Chuckling, the anglerfish attempted to reach the ring, inside of a box that was on top of a stand. Unfortunately, they were too short, and ended up reaching for it comically.
"… Do you need help with that?"
"No!" They stubbornly replied.
This was going to take a while…
—
Michael managed to get everyone out of the Icicle Mountain with his newfound power, keeping them safe from the avalanche. Even Sabre, who had been caught by Donkey Kong after attempting to flee.
Needless to say, Blanc was ticked off.
Ambushing her beloved mascots, and nearly endangering them along with Michael, was something she didn't let slide so easily.
And she was already cursing up a storm, ready to beat the hell out of Sabre. The others thankfully held her back.
"You replaced my spot as protagonist with the guy who's only meant to fly in a plane! Is it any wonder Adventures got so much backlash!?" Sabre growled. Master Hand continued to hold the furious Blanc, who had now transformed into White Heart.
"Hey now, it was still a good, polished game in my opinion." Michael stated, trying to reason with Sabre.
"Sure, nailing in Star Fox elements at what? The last second? All the good plot twists cut out, in favor of a bad one with that giant ape head? Along with cutting down Krystal's role to the beginning? Actually, I don't mind that part, since my father ditched me to raise that—"
"Rare didn't have much time to set everything up, and neither did Nintendo!" Michael finally snapped. "If Microsoft didn't buy out Rare, I bet you it would feel more finished!"
It was good that Caela wasn't there, otherwise it would probably spiral into a completely different argument on Rareware being bought.
"This is kinda true actually." Samus confirmed, as the others stood in silence. "A few companies were out to nab Rare, so they only had a little bit of time to complete that game, and that meant a lot of content getting cut during it being changed. For all we know, in what could have been for the final product, maybe you would have been there."
"I doubt it." Sabre grumbled. Both him and Blanc had calmed down a bit. It seemed Michael's defensive stance on Nintendo actually prevented a fight for once. Hopefully it lasted too.
"Listen, Sabre," Fox said, "I'm really sorry that happened. It's not the first time Lowee and Leanbox made a deal to rearrange things. One of Donkey Kong's friends and that one bear in Leanbox would tell you. I don't want to be your enemy over this."
What was Sabre supposed to believe anymore?
Lowee, Leanbox, and Fox McCloud has technically taken away everything he was going to have.
His father had left him behind, and destroyed a village, and began to raise another child instead out of guilt.
Unlike Madi and Rin, Sabre didn't trust the ones who gave him the mission to get revenge.
The plot sounded as if he would follow in his father's footsteps. Something he did not want, but chose to do anyway.
"Sabre, was it? Who put you up to this?" Master Hand questioned.
No response.
He was far into wondering what decision he should make now.
"Lady Blanc! We're under attack!" Meta-Knight announced, entering the room very suddenly. "The Basilicom and several residents are being targeted!"
"What!? Why the hell can't anyone leave us alone for two goddamn seconds? Was this your doing!?" Blanc hissed at Sabre, causing Master Hand to tighten his grip on her again.
"I'm guessing some of them are here now." Sabre laughed, in an exhausted manner. "Basically, I'm not the only one with beef against Lowee, or Fox for that matter."
"Who are our attackers!?" Mario asked, adjusting his hat.
"Someone made of paper, with a dome on his head, and a lich." Meta-Knight explained to them, Kirby now joining him, as if he had also witnessed it.
"That sounds like Sir Grodus!" Michael exclaimed. "I thought he was done causing trouble by the end of Paper Mario 2. Why is he attacking?!"
They all hurried outside, except for Sabre. It was true, Sir Grodus, accompanied by a skeletal creature in a purple robe, were attacking whatever Lowee residents came running at them.
"Dear me," the Lich sighed, "it seems that none of these imbeciles can hold up against us. I suppose the others down there are to thank for it." He spoke in a overly posh sort of way, and towered over Cloud Strife. "Even I could dispose of this overly popular hero. He really holds no candle to the ones I had faced long ago. I wonder how in the world the likes of him got into Smash."
As the Lich zapped Cloud with another lightning-element attack, Michael could only watch in horror.
"One of the four fiends from Final Fantasy too? What the heck kind of plotting is this!? First Sabre, and now…"
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of thousands of stomps. He turned to see a huge army of X-Nauts heading towards them. And with Cloud almost taken down, they were seriously at a current disadvantage. His mind reeling, he was trying to think of anything useful when he remembered a fact about undead foes in the Final Fantasy series. And from that, he found the focus needed to formulate a plan.
Lich was about to burn Cloud to finish him off, when Link showed up and blocked the fire with his shield. But then "Link" turned into Mewtwo, using his telekinesis to carry Cloud to safety. Back in the Basilicom with everyone else, he began to tell his plan.
"Lich is vulnerable to fire attacks. Characters who have significant fire attacks should concentrate on him. I think Mario, Samus, and Charizard are best for this. The rest of us will handle Grodus and his army, and join up with you to finish up Lich. Any questions?"
Either no one had any, or they knew that there was no time to ask any. They were at a wall, and had to go with something. Some of them already had some trust for Michael from his actions on Icicle Mountain, so they were willing to give the plan a try. "OK, Mario, you take the others and head for the Lich. And as for the army, Donkey Kong, lead the charge."
Donkey Kong thumped his chest with tremendous force before charging at the army before them, already taking out at least twenty with one swing of his huge arms. But it barely made a dent in the advance, for the army had the clear advantage in terms of numbers. But any video game character, not just in Nintendo, can tell you that fighting armies is pretty common to the point of it being a hobby. So Donkey Kong's charge and Michael's confidence just got the others pumped. Donkey Kong wasn't alone out there for long as the others joined him.
Sonic, being the fastest, hit first, sending X-Nauts flying, using his speed to evade attacks. Using a series of homing attacks, he drove a straight line through their ranks, the moment getting to his head a little, not noticing the X-Naut behind.
At least, not until Meta-Knight blocked the attack and used his twister attack to clear some room. "Don't be so reckless. This basically an act of war."
Sonic just huffed as he returned to the fight, barely noticing the sound of jet engines. Fox had actually doubled back to the hanger to get his ship and was now attacking from the air. He was taking out whole groups when he heard a thump on the cockpit. "Now you weren't thinking of leaving me out of the fun, were you?" Bayonetta said with a playful smile at Fox before jumping off, landing with guns blazing, taking out a whole unit and making enough room to summon a demon which proceeded to take out large amounts of soldiers at once.
Michael was looking over the battlefield, feeling hopeful at the progress they were making. "Looks good, but we need to make a strike at their leader. If we take him out, the X-Nauts will lose their guiding intelligence, and be that much easier to handle. Link! Captain Falcon! Pikachu! With me!"
Watching their movements, Sir Grodus grumbled to himself. "To think someone like me, bringing more action to Lowee's current, bland state would cause this much fury. Either they wish to stay in their boring lives, or they miss such a confrontation… Lord Crump!"
Turning around to face his superior, a purple-clad, larger X-Naut responded. "Buwhat? I mean, yes sir?"
"You better know to contact our…" Grodus sighed, "so-called allies, if this doesn't go as planned. We may unfortunately need a rescue from them."
"Roger that, sir!"
Grodus continued watching Michael. "I wonder… does this one just blindly praise Lowee's CPU and what she does? Or does he know well that whatever life, story, and intriguing obstacles the world of paper we came from, has now been sucked away as of late?"
Michael's group was charging fast at Grodus. Captain Falcon's Falcon Punches and Pikachu's Thunderbolts were clearing the way fast, as well as Michael taking the form of a Koopa, using the shell strike to spearhead straight through. And luckily, unlike Koopas, he was able to stop, for when he did, a blast of magic hit the ground just inches from him. "Curses, I missed."
Michael changed into Mega Man, sticking to ranged attacks to make it easier to dodge and keep Grodus off balance. Link joined in with his arrows. Pikachu tried to help, but had difficulty getting in a clear shot with Michael and Link moving around. And whenever Captain Falcon tried to get close he kept getting knocked back. "I think this guy's showing his moves a little too much."
"Then let's show him some new moves. I have an idea. Listen….."
A minute later, Grodus was almost taken off guard by the sudden appearance of Ridley. But he smirked, knowing that it was the outsider, and that it only made him a bigger target. Grodus took aim for his head and fired, but Michael changed back, shrinking in the process, and causing the shot to miss. But that wasn't the only surprise. When Ridley disappeared, Captain Falcon appeared from his hiding place behind him, with Pikachu on his hand, fully charged. And too close to not miss.
"THUNDER….FALCOOOONN…..PUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNCH!"
Grodus was able to block with his arm, but the combined force of Captain Falcon's punch and Pikachu's thunder still dealt significant damage. His arm hung uselessly as his clothes were shredded, showing only mechanical parts. "Aha!"
Grodus turned to Michael in a quizzical manner. "Aha what?"
"That robot body makes the situation make sense. Near the end of your game, your body was nearly destroyed leaving only your head behind. And knowing your keen intellect, making a mechanical body is the only logical outcome."
Grodus was silent for a few moments, before he spoke. "Yes it's true. I was left alone with barely a body to live in. And to make it worse, I was soon forgotten after that. To be featured in only one game, put into such a state, and then left for more 'memorable' characters? NO! I won't accept it!" He began to charge an attack with his remaining arm. "I will make you all know my pain. Prepare to taste -"
"PUNCH!"
WHAM! "Gah! How dare you interrupt -"
"PUNCH!"
WHAM! "Stop that you -"
"PUNCH!"
WHAM! "No….."
"PUNCH!"
WHAM!
"PUNCH!"
WHAM!
"PUNCH!"
WHAM!
It had to take both Link and Michael to calm Captain Falcon down, who was enjoying his new move a little too much. When he calmed down somewhat, Michael walked over to Grodus to see if he was all right after taking such a beating. Fortunately, he was still conscious, but obviously unable to move for the time being. Michael then looked around to see there was any effect.
Thankfully, there was. At the sight of their leader getting taken down, the X-Nauts were unable to know their next move, giving the biggest opportunity for the Smashers. And seeing Captain Falcon and Pikachu's combo attack gave them some ideas. Diddy Kong jumped on Donkey Kong's back, shooting enemies behind him while DK punched the ones in front of them.
Kirby used his suction power to draw the soldiers closer and easier to get clobbered by Little Mac. Mewtwo and Lucario fused their Aura powers together for more damage, and Pac-Man and Olimar combined forces with the Ghosts and Pikmin to surround entire groups, allowing ambushes from the Fire Emblem characters to take them down. King Dedede and the Ice Climbers basically turned it into a smashing contest with their hammers.
Glad to see that they were doing all right, Michael left to see how the fire attack squad was doing against Lich.
Mario had been flicking fireballs at Lich, but he had casted Haste on himself, then used a sleeping spell on Charizard. The fire-type Pokémon had fallen asleep just like that. "Eugh, you thought a mere lizard could go against me? I'm disgusted! Keep your animals on a leash, why don't you?"
Attempting to use another lightning spell, he struck Charizard, doubling the damage since he was a flying-type as well. "We can't endanger Charizard like this, we need to act faster, or he's toast!" Samus exclaimed, clearly worried about the battle.
Mario then looked at one of the fireballs he flung, then at Samus. "I got it! Samus, coil into your morph ball mode!" She did exactly that. "I'm-a gonna fling you over to that bony fellow, okey-dokey? Then, you do more damage!"
"Uh, that sounds kind of absurd." Samus replied, being unsure of the idea. "I mean, you can try it but—"
"Morph Fireball Bomb! Here we goooo!"
Without hearing anything else Samus had to say, Mario picked Samus up while activating one of his fireballs, and bounced her across the field. Lich didn't even notice them, as he was focused on making Charizard faint.
The moment he saw them, his face was met with the flaming Morph Ball. "Aiyeee! N-not my robes!" Lich screamed. Samus followed it up by using her Morph Ball bombs, which created a fiery explosion.
"Dual Erupting Flare Blades!" Mario, and the Samus who drew back, saw both Ike and Roy running towards each other, with Lich in between. However, the Lich saw it coming this time, and snapped his fingers just as the two could charge their swords and clash.
"Hmph! Ambush attacks, what are you? Petty rogues?" He sighed and shook his head. "Where is the beauty in such a fight…? Earthquake!"
The ground began to shake beneath the five, Lich truly though he had a bit of an advantage now with them shaken up.
Before he could do more damage, a piercing feeling went through his chest. The Lich winced, the pain was heavy, going to do him in any moment, and he knew was it was.
It was holy. Or to be more precise, it was a Light Arrow.
"Who…!?" He looked around, until he saw Princess Zelda from a distance, who had found a Smash Ball, broken it, and used her Final Smash on the Lich to finish him off.
There wasn't anything more he could do. The Lich was cornered, and soon to return to the depths of the earth he came from.
"Oh dear… knowing Marilith, she won't taken my defeat very well." The Lich chuckled, while turning to ash. "Oh well. Your dirty tactics aside, I suppose you think you won. It isn't over though, if anything, this is the start for all of you."
With those last words, his physical form was gone, nothing but dust left behind.
Lord Crump noticed how things had calmed down it seemed on the other side of the battlefield too. "Oh man, this isn't good, looks like we're gonna have to be saved."
"Nice!" Michael cheered, worried for a moment that he had to step in. Sir Grodus was trying to edge away, but everyone else noticed it.
"Don't you dare think of getting away— Ugh!" Captain Falcon was then fired at by spacecraft of some kind, followed by a serpent-shaped warship.
Michael looked at it, remembering it from one of the Star Fox games. "The ZaZanga 9 and the Arrow Head? Then that means… The Anglar Emperor?" It was the last villain Michael expected to be involved in all this, but it was true, as the warship draw closer.
It landed, nearly running over Link and Pikachu, forcing them to run away from the scene.
"Oh, poor you, and you thought your little army didn't need my help." The short anglerfish taunted Grodus, both him and Lord Crump feeling insulted. One of the ships hatches opened up, allowing them to enter. "Zazan, cover us while these two have to run away with my help."
"Enough chatter! Get us out of here!" Sir Grodus snapped as he entered. Michael and the others tried to stop them, but the ZaZanga 9 was locked onto them, firing warning shots so they would back off. Several X-Nauts joined in on boarding to escape.
Several questions were going through Michael's mind. First Sabre, then Sir Grodus, and now the Anglar Emperor. It was such an odd combination, and there was definitely a pattern. He couldn't change shape and give chase in the air if he wanted to either, otherwise he would be shot down by the ZaZanga 9 surely.
"Now what?" Captain Falcon wondered.
There wasn't much that could be done, other than report back to Blanc and Master Hand, who probably were more focused on the defenses of the Basilicom.
—
"That Nick fella is somethin' else, y'know." The man puffing his cigar looked into the crystal ball, still amazed at the damage. "I guess we gotta be careful when goin' up to Lastation, huh?"
"Michael didn't really do that, I'm kinda disappointed, but I guess maybe it's because Grodus and the Emperor didn't specifically target the Basilicom and the CPUs just then." The wizard said, twiddling his thumbs. "I was so looking forward to him being absolutely bonkers! Why, I almost want to try and push that blonde girl to—"
"Don't do that." The sleepy woman mumbled.
"Hey, Dark Champ, make sure you open the gate for those two to get her sooner." The Dark Champion rolled his eyes at the angel. He had to pull away from Planeptune for a short while, making the excuse that he wanted to check on the balance of the nations for a short moment.
Snapping a portal open in the icy domain, the large warship flew in along with the spacecraft. "By the way, Dark Champ, how's the outsider in Planeptune?"
"I thought of finding her weaknesses. I must assume when they are in the forms of other characters, they are vulnerable, but watching that battle between the one boy and that robot gave me an idea," the Dark Champion smiled, "why not have her join our forces, Samael? If she has the same abilities, and we persuade her to help us, we will be unstoppable! She very well understands the plights of being forgotten from what I have noticed."
The angel, Samael, paused. "I didn't check on that one too much, is she cute? Cute girls only, y'know!"
For a brief moment, Samael flicked his tongue out… which was notably forked, like a snake.
"Cute?" The Dark Champion looked unamused, and puzzled by his remark.
"Yeah! Like the qilin, Marilith… Tiamat's a dragon, she doesn't count. Madi sorta is, and…"
Samael then looked at the Anglar Emperor, who was about to report the situation with Sir Grodus and hand the ring over. The angel decided to not speak about biological matters right there, since the Dark Champion could already tell what he was thinking.
"Advancing on Natalie will only hinder things, Samael. I suggest that if we convince her to join us, you try to hold yourself back."
"When you word it like that, then that must mean she's absolutely cute. Then I approve of your plan! No promises though if I get too friendly…"
The wizard slammed his fists on the table, disturbing the princess's nap. "Who cares about your 'cute girl'? We should be talking about our next target! I WANT REVENGE ON THAT - !"
The princess, suddenly alert, grabbed the wizard by the collar and had a very dark look in her eye. "Disturb my sleep again, and you won't even live to regret it." The wizard started to get scared, never seeing the princess like this, and was scared of what she was going to do to him.
"Now, now, let's all calm down." Samael clapped his hands slowly to settle the mood. "We have to work together, after all. Oh, I know! A teambuilding exercise! You two will go to the next nation we have marked for invasion, and are welcome to bring whoever you need for it! Hopefully this will work out your differences!"
"Or at least bring some amusement for me." He said that last part for himself, not really caring if they succeeded or not as long as the goals are met. The wizard and princess just glared at each other for a minute, but knew that orders were orders, and left to gather the forces necessary to attack. "While they're dealing with that, let's ask a serious question: what kind of villainous force would we be, if didn't take full advantage of Lastation's situation? Let's plan an attack for them right now!"
"Leave that to me." The man with the cigar said. "I owe y'one for busting me out, and I've been waiting for an opportunity at get back at the one who put me there."
"Very well, since you've got the motivation, I leave it to you. Less work for me, anyway!" The man almost bit his cigar in half because he wasn't sure if he was just insulted or not.
"What about me? Should I join in the attack as well?"
"No, no. I want you to go ahead and get the girl you were talking about to our side. You're welcome to bring her here to the hideout. Or even my room if you feel like it…." The Dark Champion silently gagged, and made a note to not let Natalie out of Planeptune for the time being.
