Oh my, I'm so sorry it's taken me this long! I've been so busy with getting the needed documents for school next fall I totally forgot I had to update this this morning! My sincerest apologies to all my readers, especially those who reviewed the last chapter.
So yeah, I didn't reach the hundred yet, but I really, really hope I will in this one. Please! So many people are reading this fic, I know they are. You can handle helping me reach the hundred reviews mark!
So, anyway, I guess you don't care too much about my babble so we'll get on with the fic already. Here is were the angst begins (really, I know it was bad before, but here's where the real plot begins unraveling). By the way, so few people seemed to be interested in guessing who's behind the whole problem with Damon and Bonnie, and even with the few who have tried no one has gotten it just right yet. One seems to have at least an idea, but not exactly right. I'm not actually sure what it was I promised to the one who guessed, but anyway, there's time already, that's one of the secrets you won't be finding the answer to just yet.
And yea, I'm babbling anyway, I'll stop now. Enjoy! There's some Bamon here, though the real deal has yet to come.
See ya!
Chapter 6. Lost Balance
The light was so bright Caroline couldn't even look straight at it, and when Bonnie had first screamed, it was as if had made the girl deaf as well, she could no longer see or hear a thing, and wasn't even sure if she was standing or lying down anymore.
"You're on the floor right now, honey, but that's neither here nor there." A voice told her suddenly, in a soft, caring tone.
There's no way to actually describe how Caroline moved, since not even she knew what position she was in in the first place; so she just did what she could and managed to move enough so as to face the speaker.
"Grams?!" The shock was evident in the blonde's expression.
While Sheila Bennet wasn't blood-related to Caroline Forbes in any way, the girl had gotten used to treating the older woman like a grandmother, and even called her that, after all, she was the closest thing the blonde had to one, the closest thing she had to an actual family; what with her father off with his boyfriend somewhere, and her mother burying herself in work so as not to think about that, no siblings and no other close family, she had adopted Sheila as her own family, and the older woman had reciprocated.
"Yes it's me, my dear." Sheila, or at least the translucent, slightly-distorted, version of her spoke. "I know this is shocking but there's much to talk about and little time to do so."
"Why are you communicating with me?" Caroline asked. "I mean, not that I'm not happy to see you, because I really am; but why not Bonnie?"
"Because of her power." Sheila answered. "Right now my grandbaby is much too powerful for my own good, or hers. I can't get through her power to reach her, and she doesn't yet know how to reach me. But you…I could reach you."
"How? I mean, I'm not a witch…am I?" With all the craziness that was going on in that moment Caroline wasn't sure if anything would surprise her anymore.
"No, you're not my dear." Sheila answered. "But you've…changed, to put it somehow. It's not bad, it's just something that'll up your chances to survive in a town such as Mystic Falls, where the supernatural seems to be so very common…"
Caroline nodded, still confused about the whole 'change' thing, and yet thankful at the same time for anything that might help her.
"You're Sensitive now hon, I think that's the best way of putting it." Sheila explained.
"Sensitive?" Caroline was confused.
"Yes, it means you'll be able to 'sense' things more easily, like Power, like that a witch, or a vampire seem to possess. With time you'll also be able to tell when one is being manipulated through the use of it, and even sense other less supernatural things like truths and intentions. Of course all this will require time and training on your part."
Caroline had no objection to anything. She was being told she would be getting something good out of all her nightmare of the past few months! That next time, because she knew there would eventually be one, she wouldn't be totally defenseless; and maybe, with practice, she might even be able to help her friends if they happened to get in trouble.
"I see you're already considering the possibilities." Sheila said with a smile. "Just remember that, like any kind of Power, it must not be abused, you'll need to train to master it, and never forget that eve those without Power can be as dangerous as those with it."
"I know, I know, it's just that…" The blonde couldn't find the exact words to express herself.
"I know." Sheila assured her. "Now there's something else. The actual reason why I came here, I need you to pass a message along to my granddaughter…"
.---.
While the encounter between Caroline and Sheila took place Bonnie was standing in what looked like the middle of nothing, surrounded by flashes, and sounds, and colors; she soon realize that when she concentrated enough on a spot the colors and sounds would take a defined form, turning into one of her previously blocked memories, she could easily make out most of those she had already recalled before, but then she began founding some she hadn't seen before, which concerned to those two months that were so fuzzy in her mind.
Even though she still remembered the strange things that had happened before she'd ended there and the horrible pain she had felt; in that moment her curiosity for those memories took precedence and, without thinking too much about it, she dove into them.
***Flash***
She was standing right in front of the creek, both hands extended and pointing at a bunch of twigs and leaves she had strategically arranged there. She was there to practice her more volatile powers, like fire and lightning, and she supposed if things began getting out of control, having water nearby would be helpful.
Her Dark Angel was standing a few feet behind her, out of the way of any possible accident, and at the same time close enough to be of assistance if needed.
A few minutes passed, and nothing seemed to happen, Bonnie began to grow frustrated, why couldn't she call on lightning? Fire was easy enough, but lightning just didn't come.
"Just focus on the power inside you." He was telling her in a soothing. "Lightning isn't your main element, but it's not an impossible one either. Remember what I told you about all the elements being in you, focus on the part of you that is lightning and then bring it out through your hand. Concentrate. You can do this."
So Bonnie raised her hands again and focused as hard as she could, until suddenly she could feel it, the sparks as they went through her body, down her arm, into her hand…
"Argg!" She cried out.
It had suddenly become too much to handle, and while a part of it had formed into the lightning like she wanted, instead of striking the pile of dead wood it had gone back to her own hand, shocking her and hurting her.
"Little Witch!" She heard him call.
He was by her side in a fraction of a second, holding her injured hand tenderly in his own two hands. The skin of her palm was burnt, badly.
"Let go." She told him suddenly.
"Why?" There was a flash of hurt in his eyes, but he refused to let go of her hand.
"I'm bleeding." She explained while she tried to take her hand from his without hurting herself any further, it was no easy task.
"I would never…" He began, truly offended.
"I know you won't hurt me." She interrupted him. "I don't want to hurt you!"
She knew how his jaw hurt when the thirst began to overwhelm him, and it was especially bad in that moment. Her blood, being her a witch, and one as powerful as she happened to be, was especially attractive to vampires, and he wasn't an exception; then there was the fact that she had been so focused on mastering the lightning element in the past week, it being a dangerous element her Dark Angel didn't want to leave her alone, so he hadn't really gone hunt in a few days, making him thirstier than he usually would be around her.
"It doesn't matter." He declared curtly.
But she could see the truth in his eyes: it did matter, he was hurting, and he was very grateful that she cared so much; still, he cared more about looking after her.
***End of Flash***
She could still remember how he'd swept her off her feet before running off in some direction to fast for her to make out anything but flashes of color and the rush of the wind on her face, in a short time they were in her Grams home, empty at that time of the day since the woman was giving a class at College.
He'd used Power to open the back door, since Sheila had invited him in a while ago, when being sure he wouldn't be hurting any of them. He carried the girl to the bathroom, where then he proceeded to take some supplies from the first aid cabinet and began treating her wound.
She continued bleeding but he didn't let that affect him; even when his face changed into the visage of the monster that had been a part of him for more than a century. And she didn't react to it either, like she had told him when the truth about him was revealed, she trusted him, she would trust him to the day she died.
'And that day nearly came to be four weeks ago…' she thought to herself. 'And I still don't know why. What made you want to kill me, when just three years ago I'm sure you would have done anything to save me?'
More flashes came, more magical accidents. In one she tried her control on water by actually changing the current, it seemed to working until all of a sudden it just didn't; she ended up completely drenched. Another time she was manipulating the way a tree grew its limbs, at first it was funny, until she somehow ended up trapped; her Dark Angel had to break quite a few branches to free her. Since fire was her main element she tried to use it in different ways, forming shields, and weapons, it seemed to be the most productive session thus far, until the fire suddenly turned against her; thankfully enough the fire didn't actually burn her, but her clothes were completely ruined. The worst incident of all happened with air, she was just creating currents around her, trying to refine her control, when once again she seemed to lose all control, it was especially bad when the wind began forming small, invisible blades; her Dark Angel acted then too, shielding her with his own body, making it so he was the one who ended up badly cut up.
So many training sessions gone wrong, too many for it to actually be accidents, there really was only one logical explanation:
***Flash***
"You've lost your balance."
That was what her Grandmother told her when she and her Dark Angel went to her after a week straight of magical accidents. Bonnie had been so consternated about the last one, the one involving wind-blades, that she had even offered him her own blood, he'd refused in a very clipped tone and then disappeared for three days straight, the longest they had been separated since he'd become a permanent fixture in her life.
The sensation of him not being there, the simple absence of him, Bonnie decided it hurt way more than all her magical accidents put together. Which was why she was so intent on finding a solution to it all, there was no way she wanted him to be hurt for her cause ever again.
"Pardon me?" She didn't get it. "Lost my balance? But how? I do my meditation ever morning and every night, I do every single exercise and have followed each and every step to learn to manipulate the elements. And this hadn't happened before…why now?"
"It's not really that sudden." Sheila denied. "Maybe you just didn't notice at first, how an object moved farther forward, or more to a side than you have intended, how you would overcharge certain spells at times."
Bonnie had to grudgingly admit her Grams was right, it just hadn't seemed like something to worry about at first. Not until now.
"You're a powerful witch, Bonnie." Sheila stated.
"You've said that before." The girl wasn't being arrogant, just stating a fact.
"Let me rephrase that." Sheila declared. "You're too powerful."
That threw not only Bonnie, but her companion for a loop.
"I always knew you were more powerful than any witch I could remember." Sheila explained. "I just never imagined you would get this far, especially at your age…"
"I don't understand Grams." Bonnie admitted. "I mean, you've said before that I am powerful, but what makes me so powerful, and what's making me lose control?"
"On the first part." Sheila began. "Never before had there been a witch who had more than one mayor element, and in all the Bennett lineage, only Emily ever had two minor elements, water and earth, aside from her major one, which was fire. And yet you, you have two mayor elements: fire and earth, and the rest acting as you're minor ones, you're capable of mixing most of them together in one way or another to create variations; not to mention the amount of Power you're able to use…and you haven't even reached your magical maturity yet!"
"I still don't get why I'm losing control!"
"Actually, she already said it." Her Dark Angel suddenly spoke. "You're powerful Little Witch, too powerful. You witches possess a sixth sense, something that instinctively allows you to access and control the Power. That sense also acts as some kind of generational conscience, it evolves with every generation; like sort of a genetic memory if you will. That's why it's easier for witches like your Grams, to control the power, than it was say, for those who lived two or three centuries ago. In your case, no witch ever before has had even the access to as much Power as you've wielded, less of all been able to do the things you have; therefore your 'sense' isn't equipped to deal with what you're doing."
"Ok." Bonnie nodded. "So I'm using too much power for that 'sixth sense' to control it. Alright, then I just need to use less power and…"
"I'm afraid it's not gonna be that easy, grandbaby." Sheila admitted. "You see, your spirit already possesses that power, that's something you cannot change; it's your physical body that can't deal with it all."
"If my body is not ready that means I can train for it, right?" Bonnie tried to find some hope. "Tell me what kind of training I need to do and I'll do it, I don't care how hard it may be."
"You said it yourself my dear, you've done every exercise needed." Sheila reminded her softly. "This isn't a matter of needing more training. It's a matter of your body, of any human body just not being able to handle this much stress. That's why the magic keeps firing back on you, and I'm afraid it's only gonna get worse…at first it will only be when you try something big or complicated, but with time even the simplest spell will turn on you."
"So what, I need to stop doing magic?" Bonnie didn't like the idea, but decided she could deal with it if that was the price to pay for everyone being safe.
"It won't be enough." Her Dark Angel spoke, in an almost unemotional tone.
Bonnie turned to look at him and couldn't help but panic when seeing his mask was back on, a mask he hadn't used around her since the day he'd discovered she already knew about him being a vampire and didn't care. It was then that she decided that her current situation wasn't just bad, it was defiantly the worse thing to ever happen to her.
"I knew you were becoming much more powerful than any Bennett witch in history." Sheila explained soberly. "But I never believed it would get this bad. I honestly thought you would be able to control it, but what's happening to you now is just a signal of how out-of-control the situation is already…"
"In other words, I'm a walking time bomb." The younger witch deadpanned. "How long?"
"I don't know." Sheila admitted softly. "But if your power keeps growing at this rate…"
"I don't have very long then." Bonnie tried her best to ignore her own growing panic so as not to cause any more pain to her loved ones. "Am I a danger to those around me?"
"Every time you do magic it could turn against you, and against anything or anyone around you I'm afraid." Sheila admitted. "But even if you were to not do any magic, eventually you just won't be able to keep it in." she shook her head sadly. "I'm so sorry my grandbaby, so very sorry, I never wanted something like this to happen to you, you know you're my treasure, you're all I have left…"
"I know Grams, and I guess life's just like this sometimes…" She kept trying to appear strong, but it was becoming harder by the second.
And suddenly there was a loud bang, the two witches turned just in time to see black feathers floating in the wind, Bonnie's Dark Angel was gone…
Tears began finally falling from the hazel-eyed witch's eyes; that, his sudden leaving like that, hurt her deeply, much more than even the prospect of her own death.
***End of Flash***
A shiver went down Bonnie's spine as she exited that memory, it was really bad, but then, why wasn't she dead already? Her Grams hadn't mentioned anyway for her to save herself, actually it had pretty much sounded like there was no hope, and yet three years later she was still alive…at least, that is, if whatever had happened before she blacked out didn't kill her.
The young witch tried to focus, to call to her another memory, one that may explain what exactly had happened after that, how it was that she had survived, and maybe even why she'd had to begin her training from zero three years later.
A flash was just beginning to form when suddenly it all began to wash away, at the same time she heard a female voice calling her.
"Bon!...Bonnie!"
.---.
Bonnie had to blink a few times to clear her head, she realized she was laying down in the middle of her Grams' living room, furniture and books scattered all around, but the pentagram that had drawn itself at her feet had vanished. Still, she could feel the Power inside her, it was almost boiling. She didn't believe that to be a good sign.
"Bonnie!" She heard the same voice call her again.
And it was then she realized it was Caroline who was calling her; the blonde was kneeling next to her, calling the witch's name and shaking her shoulder repeatedly.
"Come on Bonnie wake up already." Caroline insisted, obviously worried. "Or…or I'll have to call Elena for help and you and I both know things will be even more of a mess then."
"No!" Bonnie called right away as her brain finally finished clearing out. "No Elena!"
While she loved her other best friend dearly she just wouldn't believe the brunette would understand; Bonnie barely could herself.
"Oh, you're awake! Finally!" Caroline cried out, relieved, then her expression became stern as she continued. "Have you any idea how worried I was?!"
"I'm sorry for worrying you Caro, I just…I don't even know where exactly I was, like, sort of inside myself I think." Bonnie tried her best to explain it. "I got to see even more of my previously blocked memories."
"And let me guess, they all included Damon Salvatore?" Caroline sighed.
"Why deny it when it's so obvious?" Bonnie sighed herself. "But I tell you Caro, he didn't use to be the way he is now. He was so…so good. He was my angel…"
"Damon Salvatore an Angel…I just can't see it." Caroline insisted.
"I know you can't." Bonnie told her. "If I hadn't seen it myself all those years I wouldn't believe it possible either. What I don't understand is what made him change so much…"
"You haven't seen that in your witchy-flashes?"
"No, not yet. I still seem to be missing memories, regarding the last few weeks before my 15th birthday, and the day itself. I know there's something important there, something I'm missing, regarding why exactly He changed so much, I just don't know what."
"You know, if anyone else were to hear you speak like that they would think you're in love with the guy!"
It was meant as a joke, obviously, but Bonnie's silence suddenly alarmed Caroline.
"Don't…please don't tell me." She half-whispered, half-moaned.
"I thought it was pretty obvious." Bonnie said, as nonchalantly as she could.
Yeah, as insane as it may be she was in love with her Dark Angel, who happened to be a vampire, and not just any vampire but Damon Salvatore himself. She must be crazy. But that was why his mocking of her hours earlier had hurt so much; she had loved him since she was a teenager, and he didn't seem to care…
"Well," Caroline finally recovered her voice. "I guess that'll make what I have to say to you a bit easier at least."
"What do you mean?" Bonnie was suddenly curious.
"I…well…I saw Grams!" Caroline rushed it out, suddenly nervous.
"You what?!" Bonnie didn't know if she was more shocked or hurt.
"Before you get ahead of yourself…" Caroline interrupted her line of thought. "Grams said she was contacting me because she couldn't reach you, that there was just too much power around you. And since I accepted all the supernatural combined with the unusual reaction I had to the vervain kind a' made me Sensitive, I was the best option to act as a messenger…"
"Wait a second, wait a second, Sensitive?" Bonnie questioned.
As quickly as she could Caroline explained everything Sheila had mentioned about what it meant to be Sensitive; Bonnie nodded, it made sense.
"What do you mean?" Caroline was confused when her friend said that.
"Just now, when you explained to me why Grams contacted you and not me, the way you said it, it was like you were reassuring me." Bonnie explained. "You were dispelling fears in me I hadn't even expressed yet."
Caroline blinked a few times, deep in contemplation; she had already begun using her new talent without even noticing…wow.
"But you have yet to tell me what Grams' message to me was!" Bonnie reminded her.
She was feeling anxious, after watching that memory, realizing what it could possibly implied, she really wanted to know if her grandma had any piece of advice for her, because she was in dire need of one at the moment.
"She said, and I quote 'Go to Him. He's your Only Hope.' Unquote." Caroline told her in a very solemn tone. "I guess we both know who 'He' is."
Yes, she knew, and it didn't make things any easier, it just made them worse.
There was no hope…
And say you'll hold
A place for me
In your heart.
