Chapter 6 - Love Takes Off Masks
A/N - Hello everyone! I apologize for the extremely long delay in updating, and for this being such a short chapter. This semester has been brutal; but now things are winding down and I should be to update on a regular basis. Your reviews are always welcome!
This chapter's title comes from a quote by James Arthur Baldwin, "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."
Cardiff, Wales, Earth, 2008, Torchwood Archives
It was happening again. All the walls of the neatly ordered room in his mind were starting to crack.
This is even worse than when I lost Lisa. God, I never thought anything could be worse than that. Losing Jack though, I - I don't know if I can do this. It's too much. It's not just Jack though, it's her too. Why did she come to me? Why did she help me heal after Lisa, comfort me when Jack left, just to show up and destroy everything?
Ianto sat curled up in a corner in a remote section of the archives. He was trying desperately to pull himself together. He couldn't breakdown, not here.
The worst bit though is that I love her too. She knows me, knows my fears and struggles. Why is she doing this to me? I'm such an idiot. It was so safe when I thought she was just a creation of my own mind, my ideal come to life.
"Ha!" He laughed darkly, tears streaming unnoticed down his face.
Now she's here, she's real; and she is Jack's and he is hers. I guess I know where that leaves me.
He didn't realize that he was trembling. His body was fighting against the effects of his breaking heart.
I'll have to leave. I can't stay here. I can't see them every day and pretend that it's not ripping my heart out. I've got to get out.
Ianto was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the rapidly approaching steps that came to a stop right beside him. He started when he felt a hand reach down to cradle the side of his face, wiping away his tears.
"Oh Yan. Please don't cry. Things are not what you think; it's going to be alright. I promise you that sweetheart." Jack said softly and moved to gather Ianto into his arms.
"No Jack." Ianto pushed his arms away and struggled to stand. He looked like a cornered animal, terrified and desperate to flee.
"Everything is not alright! I -" He rubbed a hand across his face clearing the rest of the tears.
Jack watched with concern as he saw Ianto's mask slide back in place as he straightened his suit and squared his shoulders. And just like flipping a switch, he was once again the perfect butler.
"I take it your wife is awake now sir. Should we go check on her? I'll make some coffee and meet you in the medbay." Ianto said as he started to weave his way through the maze of the archives, leaving a Jack standing there.
Jack hurried to catch up and reached to grasp Ianto's shoulder, pulling him to a stop.
"Please stop, sir. It's not appropriate." Ianto said, his voice cracking with emotion.
Jack stepped in front of Ianto, holding him in place by both shoulders. Ianto was staring resolutely at the floor.
"Ianto, please look at me." Jack gently lifted Ianto's chin to meet their eyes. His heart broke a little from the pain radiating from his young lover's gaze. "There you are." He softly caressed his cheek.
"Yan, there are so many things happening right now. Most of it I don't understand myself. One thing I do understand though is how important you are to Siani and me." Ianto tried to pull away.
"Please stop Jack! Please! I can't have this conversation now."
"What conversation do you think this is Ianto?" Jack asked as he continued to hold Ianto to keep him from escaping.
"I'm not stupid Jack. I can't listen to the 'we care about you and we can still be friends' thing right now. I'm begging you, please." He started crying again, much to his annoyance.
Jack pulled Ianto's stiff form to him, hugging him tightly.
Jack kissed his head, and stroked his hair. Ianto guiltily clung to Jack, believing this would be the last time he would ever be held by the man he loved.
"I know this is confusing for you Yan, but there are some very important things you don't know yet. Don't give up on us Vanima, on either of us; we care about you so much. Don't turn away from us now. Will you listen Yan? Will you hear us out, keep an open mind? We don't want to lose you!"
Ianto lifted his head from Jack's shoulder. "You're not making any sense Jack."
Jack smiled at Ianto. "I know that. But promise me please, that you will listen and not make any decisions until we've explained everything."
Ianto gazed into Jack's eyes, searching for what he knew not, but seeing Jack's desperation he nodded his head in agreement.
Jack sighed, "thank you." He touched his forehead to Ianto's, both closing their eyes, one in desperation the other in relief. "Come on Yan, let's go check on Siani."
"Alright Jack."
Jack pulled back releasing Ianto, and reached his hand out for the younger man to take. Ianto glanced between Jack's hand and face trying to decide whether he should allow himself the intimacy.
Don't be an idiot! This may be the last time he ever offers you this, take it!
The older man smiled as Ianto finally took his offered hand.
"Let's go Yan. I swear to you, everything will be alright."
Torchwood Medbay
"Ok, I'm going to let those scans continue to run. In the meantime I'll need to do some blood work and then when you're ready we'll need to talk about the treatment you received while in captivity." Owen addressed Siani who was sitting up on the examine table.
"Alright Owen, I don't want to have to explain it all more than once if that's alright. I'd like to wait for Yan and Jack."
Owen nodded, "Of course, we can wait for them if you like." He moved to his side table to begin prepping to draw several vials of blood.
"This is all so fascinating!" The Doctor exclaimed. "You manage to do so much with such primitive technology, its fantastic!"
Both Siani and Owen rolled their eyes at the Doctor who seemed to bounce from one side of the medbay to the other examine equipment and reports.
"Oi, Space-Boy, mind the primitive tech, it's the best we've got at the moment."
Ignoring him, the Doctor continued his exploration, using his sonic screwdriver continuously.
Owen turned back to Siani. "Ready? This shouldn't take but just a moment."
She hadn't been paying much attention to what Owen was preparing. She assumed he was getting the hemoscanner ready for the blood work.
Owen moved to place the tourniquet on her arm, which she found strange and then she noticed the syringe.
"What the hell is that?" She yelled.
"It's just a syringe to draw your blood, nothing scary, just uncomfortable for a few moments." Owen was a little shocked at her outburst; she hadn't seemed have an issue with having blood drawn when he mentioned it a moment ago.
"No, no, please don't!" Siani cried loudly.
The Doctor moved to her side. "Siani, it's okay, this is how they run tests on your blood during this time period. Owen won't hurt you."
His soothing words fell on deaf ears though as Siani drew into herself.
She continued to cry out, "Please don't! Please, please stop! Yan! Jack! No, no!"
Owen was trying along with the Doctor to calm her unsuccessfully.
By this point she was huddled beneath the blankets on the exam table shaking violently.
"Siani, Siani!" The Doctor tried to get her attention.
"It's no use Doctor, she's regressed. Shit!" Owen ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I should have thought to ask. I'm such a twat!"
Suddenly a loud beeping sound came from the monitor next to Siani.
"Dammit! Her blood pressure is dropping. She's going into shock."
Owen and the Doctor moved as one toward Siani as she started to thrash on the table. They tried to restrain her to prevent her from injuring herself, but this only served to agitate her further.
"Jack! Ianto! Noooo! Please! No more please, no more!"
Ianto and Jack had just returned to the main hub when Siani screamed.
A/N2 – Vanima: beautiful
