Sorry if this one has more grammars mistakes. I have been editing it and was almost done when I accidently X it out. You know what happen next. I'm soo tire right now, so I won't edit again today.
I have wanted to write this story and Ugly Sesshy so badly for months. Just couldn't. Especially Ungly Sesshy since it only has 2 chapters left, but I just can't write it. Well, review please.
She leaned back against a solid strong chest. Her head tilted to the back, resting on the nip of his neck, while his manly arms wrapped around her flat stomach; her hands over his. They were both watching the peaceful and beautiful sunset.
"Only four more days," he whispered softly while kissing the clown of her raven hairs. She smiled at the warmth and happiness in his voice. "Only four more days and you will forever be mine. There will be no need to say goodbye anymore when nightfall."
She smiled. She loved the idea. She wanted to be with him always, too.
"But I hate to part with you tonight," he said frowningly which she could not help but laughed. She felt the same way, too, but she would rather not say.
"It's only four more days away," she reminded him, reaching a hand to snake around his neck. He shifted slightly to adjust and make the position more comfortable for them.
"I know," he kissed her forehead once more, "but somehow when it's so close, it feel so far away. I wish it were here already."
"You are saying it like that now, but someday when I'm old and wrinkled, you might not even want to look at me," she giggled.
"That's not going to happen," he protested readily. "I love you and will always love only you for the rest of my life. I will love, cherish, and protect you until the day I die. Even if the sky were falling down, I will protect you." His arms tightened around her waist possessively. Her head was nuzzled against his cheek.
She could not help but smiled at the sincerity in his voices. He had always loved her and she believed forever he would. It could be naïve of her, but she did trust him, the man she loved. She would be united with this man and be his for the rest of her life. Her heart leaped with happiness.
The sun sank lower at the horizontal sky indicated that their times together would soon end. They may had been engaged, but it did not mean that they could let people looked down on them or did indecent things.
But she was happy to have been sitting inside his arms and watched the end of the day together. He was sitting against a giant Sakura tree while she was sitting inside his lap watching the beautiful view of the clear pond, and the green hills, and the forest, and the wild flowers. It was their favorite meeting place.
"If the sky were really falling," she tilted her head up and looked at him in the eye while her smile broadened on her pink lips. "You don't need to protect me. All you have to do is being by my side and holds my hand is all I need."
He looked at the beautiful woman inside his arms; her eyes were sparkled with happiness. He could not help but leaned down and took her lips. He could not wait until the day their wedding would come and declared to the world that this beautiful woman was his.
~~0oooo0~~
Who is, Takashi" asked a deep monotone voice. She slowly opened her eyes to look at the golden pair of orbs that had been staring at her.
She was lying inside his strong arms; his face was only a few inches away from hers. How did he know that name, she wondered.
"You called it in your sleep," he answered her silence question in a calm voice. The demon's voice was always calm. The little moon light lit the room and she could see his handsome face waiting for her to answer.
"My fiancé. Or should I say, my ex-fiancé," she corrected.
"You were going to marry him," he stated. She could not tell what he was thinking form his cold bored expression.
"In three days if you have not called me here," she told him truthfully.
"You wanted to marry him," he said softly.
"Very much." There was no point for her to lie. She had always been honest with him.
"Do you want to go back to him?" he asked in his calm voice and emotionless face but she swore she felt his muscle tensed. But it might as well been her imagination. What's more, there was no point in it. It wasn't like he would let her go back to him if she said yes.
"I am dead to him," she told him in a matter-of-fact tone. There were no emotions or attachment within her cold voice.
She looked away from his golden eyes to his bare chest, "I am dead to everyone," she said quietly without any emotion. She knew he would not like to hear that name again for whatever reasons she might not know. "Do I have to treat them all like they are dead to me, too?" she wanted to know. There was no motive or reason behind her question; she just simply wanted to know.
The moment she looked up to meet his eyes and the sentence came out, she noticed his eyes widen just a few milliliters. But it did not last long. It disappeared as soon as it came and she had to wonder if it were ever there at all.
"No," he adjusted the arm that had been her pillow and pulled her already close body a little closer to him. "You don't have to."
It wasn't like she would follow his order if she was told to forget about her past. They were her memories and she would do with them as she pleased. She could not deny that she was surprised at his respond. For a moment, she felt like he was vulnerable. But it might as well been her imagination.
"You met a demon today," he stated, and this time it was her turn to look slightly surprised.
"I could smell his scents all over you," he told her. She had been with this demon for months, but she had no idea about his nosy nose's ability. In fact, she knew nothing about him at all. She was not interested to learn.
If he could tell that she had met a demon, and a male too, with just the scent that had lingered on her, there were no secrets she could hide from him at all.
Yet, she was once again surprised that he had said nothing in the evening when she returned. Well, he did ask her if anything happened because of her torn attire, but she simply told him nothing had happened. Which was true, nothing did happen. And she never expected to see that demon again anyway.
But now that she thought about it, it all falling into places why he had her washed her hands as soon as she returned. He ordered the servants to bring their food into their room instead of the dining room and ordered basins of water for her to wash up.
Right after that, he was having his ways with her.
She was a bit confused as to why he did not wait until night fall, this had never happen before, but she did not resist him. But now that she thought about it, was this his way of punishing her?
No. It should not be. He had never hurt her during their intimacy.
"He was injured. I did help patched him up," she told him calmly. He only stared at her. "Am I not allowed to help him?" she wanted to know. Not that she cared what she allowed to or not allowed to do. The worst that could happen to her was being killed by Sesshomaru.
He looked at her for a long while. She could not read him even now. "Just be careful. Demons are dangerous. You should not mangle with them or go around patching just anyone up. But you would do it either way whether I told you, you could do it or not."
She remained as emotionless as always, but she was surprised at how well he could read her. Maybe she had been more closely watched than she thought. He seemed to know everything that happened around her and now he even knew how she would behave.
But it didn't matter.
She could not just leave the demon alone when she could do something to help. If the demon laying in the forest today were Sesshomaru, she would still patch him up.
Even though he said nothing, she wondered if he could pick up the human scents from her as well. But as long as he did not bring it up, she would pretend it had never happen. It wasn't like she wanted to repeat it or if it were anything important.
After she left the injured demon behind, she did not feel like coming back to the palace. It was only a few hours passed noon and she would not have the chance to come out very often.
But this time, she did not let Ah-Un choose where they would go. The question from that injured demon made her yearned for old places, the places where she once called home.
Ah-Un, followed her instruction, brought her to a small pond and landed lightly next to the giant Sakura tree. It brought back memories.
The bittersweet memories.
She looked at the blossom tree, the place where she once watched the sunset with Takashi. The place where he had promised he would forever love and protect her from anything.
But as soon as the noticed from the demon came, she ran to see him and all he could do was sinking down to his knees. Her parents were crying their eyes out, but there was nothing they could do.
Nothing they would do.
The villagers, her former kind neighbors were suddenly her enemies. They kept an eye on her and were readily to ship her off to her death because they were afraid for their own lives.
In just a day, her whole world had turned upside down.
So she ran…
Ran to the one person who she believed would protect her. He had promised he would be by her side no matter what happen. Even when the sky was fallen, her future husband, Takashi.
But the sight before her striped her off of all hopes. She knew she had responsibility. She knew she could not just abandon her family and disappeared, but she was hoping he would offer some kind of comfort. Maybe he would try and figure a way to help out for her? Offered to run away together, maybe? But the sight of him slipping down, face drained from all colors, looking at her as if she were doom. As if there were no other way and that image tore her chest apart. At that moment, she knew she was all alone.
He too, was afraid to die. Same as her parents, her brothers and sisters. They were all going to throw her away so they could live.
She then slowly turned away from the hopeless looking man. She walked back to her home in a daze; her mind was all over the places.
But when it came to the bottom line, it didn't matter. She would be sent to die, that was all.
No one cared what would happen to her. She, too, should stop caring. There was no hope left. No one would save her. Because in the ended, they all wanted to live. And if to live meant she had to die, then they would make sure that it happen.
And she couldn't blame them because she, too, wanted to live. And she wanted them to live. It was just human nature that they wanted to survive. Even if it meant to slaughter someone in the way.
It was she the demon wanted. So it was she who would die.
She would not be afraid. What was more she could lose? She was already dead to everyone the moment the notice came. She was just a walking corpse anyway so she should stop feeling, too. She saw everyone making a fuss, crying, making sad faces, but deep down they were relieved it weren't them who had to die. She felt numb. There was no point in feelings.
She looked at the Sakura three once more. It had been nearly a year since she had been here. The memories of the old days were still fresh in her mind, yet she felt nothing. No attachment, to remorse, to love, no anger, nothing. It was just memories. She didn't even feel the pain if betrayal. She didn't feel anything.
But it didn't matter. The past was the past and she preferred to not think about it.
She was sitting down next to the giant Sakura tree; leaning against it after took out the oranges from the bag on Ah-Un's back. The dragon was roaming around eating grass. She, too, was eating her lunch after washing her hands.
It was a peaceful and calm day. The view was still as beautiful as it used to be in the past.
Why did she come here? She wasn't sure herself. She just wanted to be at someplace where she used to exist. Where she used to have a name.
The day passed by slowly without anything important. She closed her eyes and leaned against the tall tree, letting her skin felt the cool breeze. It was getting a little cold now that the sun had gone down a little, but she still did not feel like moving.
She would have to go back soon.
"Nao!" a voice exclaimed in disbelieved. Her eyes snapped opened at the familiar voice, calling the name that she had long forgotten. She slowly turned her face toward the girl's voice who had been half-walked half-ran toward her.
"Nao! Is that really you?" the girl was pausing a few yards from her, noticing the protective dragon demon for the first time.
"There is no threat here, Ah-Un," she told the dragon gently which calmed them down before she turned back to the new comer.
"Moe," she greeted the girl in her indifferent tone.
"You are really alive? You are really didn't die?" Moe asked, but too afraid to venture any closer because Ah-Un was only a foot way from Nao.
"I guess so," Nao said calmly. The younger girl was bursting into tears. Moe was her best friend before she was sent away.
Moe was wearing a simple pale green kimono, the same quality she used to wear herself. Her hairs were pulling up. She had narrowed eyes, straight nose, and full lips. But over all, she still looked very pretty.
Just then she noticed that Moe was with child. From her appearance, she should be at least five to seven months. She must have married after Nao had left.
It reminded her of how much time had passed. It had nearly been a year. At that time, Moe was still single and had no plan of getting married. Guessed things changed.
Looking at Moe, Noa was glad that she had not been with child. Glad that she was still alone all these time because she did not know what would happen if she ever got pregnant.
She feared for the child. She did not know how the demon would react to such news. Would he kill her there and then? Would he let the child be born? But what would happen to the child afterward. How would the child be treated? A half demon that rejected by both and humans and demons alike.
Nao did not know when she would die. When the demon would get tire of her and decided to get a new toy. If she was to be killed and left a half-demon child behind without anyone to care and protect, she was shuddered at the thought.
She thanked all the gods above for not letting her have a child. She could not let an innocent being to be born out of their wick relationship and being abandon and looked down after she died.
"I'm so glad you are alive," Moe cried loudly and openly, but all Nao could do was stared. She did not feel such emotions. She forgot how to feel.
"How have you been? You looked so beautiful. You must be happy," Moe said looking at her rich attire.
Was that what Moe see? She, being happy? She didn't feel happy. She didn't felt anything at all. Was she really appeared happy or was Moe just wanted to believe so? To believe that the girl they had sent to die did not die and live happily so she did not have to feel so bad about having a hand in killing her.
But it didn't matter how she appeared. By the end of the day she would still be on her back, sometimes hands and knees, and pleased the demon lord.
"You are with child," she commented coldly. Moe didn't even seem to notice how much she had changed. Or she just didn't want to notice.
Moe smiled uneasily as she brought a hand to cup her round stomach. "It's seven months now."
Nao could not help but wondered why Moe did not seem to want to touch on that subject? Had she not been married? Was there something bad that she did not want to talk about?
Seven months.
That meant she should have married, if she got married, three months after Nao was sent off. But it didn't matter.
"You should come and visit more often." Moe changed the subject, her face brighten up. "We all thought that you were dead."
"How's my parents?" Nao did not feel like telling her that she did not wish to return here and this would be the only time.
"They are doing great. They are now the richest family in the village because of the downy (sorry can't spell or find it. I tried.) they got from marrying you off," Moe said excitingly.
So that was what they called what they did to her? Marrying her off?
Well, at least they were all happy.
Just then another voice interrupted them. Someone was calling for his wife in a distance. Moe's head snapped toward the voice which inching closer by the seconds.
Nao followed her uneasy friend to the man who should be her husband and she finally understood. It was none other than Takashi.
"Moe" he called to his wife and did not noticed Nao and Ah-Un who had been shield from his view by the giant tree.
"What are you doing standing here honey?" he asked when he was standing behind his wife before he slowly lifted his gaze toward the direction where his wife had been looking.
He froze.
The man who had once promised to love only her was now standing only a few feet away with his wife. Still as handsome as she could remember, but she felt nothing.
So much for eternal loved.
He couldn't even mourn for his, thought to-be-dead, lover for more than three months. He got married almost as soon as she was sent away. Her once lover and best friend. She should be angry, but she didn't.
She could imagine how it happened. One heartbroken, one tried to comfort and love sparked.
Well, it didn't matter. They looked good together and they seemed to have a happy life. She hoped they stayed that way.
"Congratulation," Nao told them in her nonchalance voice. She looked at the direction of the sun and it told her that it was time to leave.
"Th-thank you," Moe hesitated.
Nao turned away from the couple; Ah-Un lowered themselves for her to climb up.
"Will you come back to visit again?" asked Moe hopefully while Takashi just stood there as still as a stone, still not recovered from the shock.
"No," she answered simply.
"Would you like me to pass any word to your family?"
"No," she then gently grasped the reins and turned to look at the couple one last time, "Goodbye." And with that Ah-Un leaped up into the sky.
She did not turned back to look at her once best friend and lover. They were all in the past. The world had moved on without her. Her life, too, had changed.
Well, she had never held onto the past to being with.
Her life had ended a long time ago.
And she saw no point in letting Sesshomaru know about it. It wasn't like it would change anything.
Sesshomaru kissed her forehead and shifted to position over her. She knew then that her rest was over. Lately he had not kept her up all night and would let her sleep sometimes. She started to wonder if he had grown tire of her. If that were true, she would be more than pleased.
He kissed her lips hungrily silently ordered for them to part. She obeyed and let her tongue danced with his.
And she knew she would not get any more sleep for the rest of the night.
Thank you so much for the reviews. Last time I was so tire from typing all day and my eyes were blurry by the time I wrote the responds. I hope I am not missing anyone this time. If I did, I apologize and would go fixed it as soon as I noticed.
Taraah36: The demon will try to save her, but the rest you will have to find out later :)
Smpt: Thanks. This is my limit for intimate scene. I usually prefer not to have too many of those, but it is important in this story because most of her emotions development happened while they were… well. I have been trying to update, just couldn't write. Sorry for making you wait.
Icegirljenni: Ah-Un took her to those places on his own. They were places the old Rin loved :) And as for Sesshomaru's reason for giving her freedom will be answer in the waaay later chapters :)
Lp: It's hard for her to develop feelings for anyone. Thanks. I hope it doesn't get boring since nothing seems to happen so far.
Irivel: Thanks. Yes, it slowly happens, but not much. Thanks for keep reading and reviewed even though I can't update for some time now.
Rairakku: Thanks for the reviews and the wait. This story is one of my babies and I want to write it the best I could, so it might be a little slower than people would like to see it develop, but I am trying my best. :)
RinSess13: Let just say I am not letting her get pregnant "Wink". Some people have harder time at getting pregnant than the others. From experience, I have seen some couples that taken 6-10 years to conceit. Also, it will ruin the plot if she has a kid which I don't want to deal with right now :)
Chrysanthemum-nhu: You will find out :) (Not soon though)
Icecreamapparition: If you felt her numbness then that meant I've succeeded. That was what I tried to convey. I will not show too much of Sesshomaru's POV because I want people to find out along with her. And yes, Ah-un is a good friend to her. Thanks for the review and advices.
March 18, 13
