Remus peered out the window for what must have been the two hundredth time today. Sirius lay topless on the grass, knees raised doing sit ups. Just like he had been doing the last twenty times Remus looked. It was half one. Sirius had don; 1hour of squat thrusts, a 1 hour run, an hour of hitting a sack like a punch bag, 1hour push up and was had now been doing sit ups for half an hour.
"What the hell is he doing " Remus thought, after all this would be a strenuous session for a body builder let alone a man who had been confided to a 2metre by 2metre cell for five years, "he might as well be killing himself, and why because I told him to"
Remus scolded himself silently, yes if he hadn't have said anything Sirius would be a silent mush dying slowing in the corner but due to him saying something he was now killing himself by pushing his body to the limit.
"Sirius, you want some dinner," Remus called out the window, hoping they could talk why they eat and he could persuade him this exercise was not healthy.
"No" Sirius replied, before letting out a loud grunt as he pulled himself up into another sit up. Remus sighed, how long could this last?
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Again he sat by the window peering out. He hadn't stopped yet and it was nearing nine o clocks, 12 hours of constant exercise. Remus had to do something. But as he had been doing for the past hour or so, he would hover by the door and then return to his seat, what was he going to say? He would then prepare a mini speech and come up with all Sirius's replies and then form answers before standing up going to the door, realising it wouldn't work and going to sit down again.
"you have got to talk to him, for both your sakes," Remus whispered to himself, pulling out from his seat he walked to the door and finally put his hand on the handle and opened it, "half way there, I suppose,"
Remus walked up the yard, Sirius was situated near the shed at the back of the garden. The yard was nothing to look at. Weeds grew as frequent as grass. No flowers. Flies swarmed the air. No butterflies. The sun rays blurred down on to Remus's brow, it was a beautiful night, he dreaded though the summer if this was the heat at the start of July. His mind wandering, he almost forgot why he had come out side, but the situation soon dawned on the werewolf as he saw his friend, breaking his guts out in front of him.
"Sirius, it's getting late..." Remus began but was to be interrupted.
"One more hour" Sirius grunted, hitting the bag several times, his breaths were staggered and fast.
"Sirius you have been at it for twelve hours," Remus said sympathetically, trying not to sound like Sirius's parent, "isn't it time for a break,"
"No"
"your killing yourself," the werewolf argued though noting his friend had started to ignore him, "you're going to hurt yourself, your no use to harry if you're half dead,"
"I'm no use to harry weak, I have to be strong," Sirius grunted again, throwing more punches at the bag, faster punches, and harder punches.
"Harry won't care if you're strong or weak..." Remus argued, this had been one of the situations he had imagined earlier, therefore prepared for whatever Sirius said back
"I have to be strong," Sirius said stubbornly
"Why"
"because I have to protect him, have to protect harry," the words sank into Sirius spurring him on, he began hitting it more and more, if his pain would stop harry from ever feeling any then he had to work harder.
"You can, but your not going to get well overnight," Remus pleaded, his friends behaviour scared him, he knew Sirius too well, he knew something was being hidden.
"I've got to, I can't let him down," Sirius could feel tears welding up, blinking fast he had to get rid of them, he had to be strong,
"You won't let harry down, but if you..." again being interrupted,
"It's not just harry," Sirius muttered, forgetting his friends extra good hearing,
"this is about you and harry nobody else," he had a feeling Sirius thought he had let Remus down by not trusting him years ago, but why did he have to get strong to show Remus he trusted him? All he had to do was say.
"But I promised him, I promised them," his punches became slower, weaker, though Remus didn't notice because his mind was racing, who had Sirius promised. Sirius could feel tears building up his eyes. He would not let them fall.
"Who did you..." Remus asked but stopped before finishing his question, he looked at Sirius the punches he was throwing was weak, he saw Sirius's shoulder begin to shake before his animagus friend fell onto the sack, hugging it, burying his face into the cotton, crying, "Sirius,"
"I promised them and I broke it," he cried, his voice slightly muffled after all his face was pressed into the bag so hard, "it was the most important thing and I failed,"
"Sirius, its okay," Remus put his arm round his wet friend, his mind still racing.
"I promised them, I promised him," Sirius repeated, his chest tightening, "I didn't do it, it was so simple and I didn't do it, no I had to get myself banged up"
"That wasn't your fault," Remus said trying to shush his friend, "you didn't kill those people, you didn't betray lily and James,"
"They made me promise and I betrayed them, I should be in Azkaban," tears pouring from his eyes,
"No you shouldn't,"
"You don't understand, they made me promise, promise to be there for him and I wasn't, I betrayed them," Sirius lifted his head and looked into Remus's eyes, "I betrayed them,"
Remus finally understood. James and Lily, it was obvious, they had appointed Sirius godfather therefore he to protect harry if anything happened to James and lily and Sirius went to Azkaban and couldn't help feeling he had betrayed them, it all made sense to Remus, yet it wasn't that simple.
"You know you didn't betray them, you would never betray James," Remus stated
"I broke his promise though," Sirius muttered turning away from Remus,
"what exactly was this promise," Remus asked, expecting Sirius to recount it but then saw his friends actions more clever, placing a finger to his head he pulled out a white ribbon, whilst doing so Remus pointed his wand at the floor and a puddle emerged, Sirius held the ribbon, above the water,
"you sure about this," Remus questioned, already scared he had pushed his friend to far, tear stained, Sirius nodded, he let go of the ribbon and it floated down into the water and after composing themselves and taking a deep breath the maunders stepped into the puddle.
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Remus looked around, small cottages with thatched roofs stood on the left, a small church and graveyard on his right, and the countryside air filled his lungs as he looked at the view in front of him. It had been too long since he last visited godric hollow. Indeed they were in the square of the hollow, the shops, houses and church was all brought together with the square and the garden in which Remus stood. He looked forward towards the bench in the square and saw two men sitting lazily, one's hair sleek and elegant, the others handsomely messy. It was of course the young Sirius black and companion James potter. Remus alongside with elder Sirius walked up to eardrop on the two youngsters.
"Poor Mooney, he look knackered last night at the you-know-what-thing," said the young Sirius,
"Aint we all," replied the potter, "I am getting too old for this,"
"yeah I know, you are an old git," the elegant black replied wearing his trade mark grin, It was more than obvious he was Hogwarts "hottie" several years ago, and with age came more beauty with him.
"Hey, you're older than me," argued the messy haired boy
"Yeah but I am young at heart," he replied but the messy raven hair punched him in the rib, "owww"
"But not young any where else, come on that didn't hurt," he argued, pulling a puppy dog face, "I would never hurt you,"
"yeah but don't give me that look remember prongs, I am padfoot," he smirked, looking over his shoulder checking nobody was near, obviously not seeing his elder self and Remus, before turning to his animagus form, he jumped on his friend and began licking him intensively.
"Arrrrrh pad that's disgusting," cried James jumping up, pushing the dog off him who had by the time James turned round had turned back into a cheeky teen.
"You don't mind when lily..."
"She's my wife," he replied,
"and I'm your son, come on dad lets play," he said jokingly, "bout time anyway you two had a sprog, what's wrong Jamie, things not working properly,"
"WHAT?? Course they are," replied James defensively, "that's why I kind of asked to meet you, pads"
"What because down..."
"No because well, me and lily..."
"You're having a kid," Sirius asked surprised though unsure why after all his best friend and lily was the perfect match,
"Yeah," replied James too looking shocked, Sirius grabbed him and gave him a "man hug"
"Congrats mate, hey I am going to be an uncle," he said laughing,
"Who said your going to be my kids uncle," argued the raven haired,
"Well I better be,"
"Course you am, uncle Sirius, actually that sounds scary, uncle pads," smiled James, he was going to be a dad, "siri, if your going to be an uncle, you best watch out for my kid,"
"What? Watch out for him or her, whoever it is will think they am a twin with my joined at there hip," joked the black heir, the picture faded into a small living room. The room was decorated in orange and red, with yellow swirls. The raven haired man sat with his head between his knee's on one chair whilst a red haired heavily pregnant lady sat legs open on the sofa, the other occupant of was the handsome Sirius black who stood over the lady, who in fact was lily potter,
"I feel sick," said James potter, running his hands through his hair,
"STOP BEING a pussy James," yelled Sirius, "your wife's giving birth,"
"ARHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed lily,
"DONT push you mad woman, where the bleeding hell in Minnie?" yelled Sirius, lily grabbed Sirius shirt,
"DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO BLACK," she screamed, panting slightly, "ARRRRRRRH, don't come near me again potter!!!"
"You two owe me, I SAID DONT PUSH," bellowed Sirius freeing from lily grip, "god I see the head,"
"WHAT," James came rushing over but the sight of the blood caused him to pass out onto the floor,
"Thanks James," Sirius muttered kicking his friend out the way,
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG" screamed the woman,
"STOP I don't know how to deliver you kid," screamed Sirius, how the hell was we meant to deliver this child? Where was Minnie?
"well learn, arrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh" screamed the red hair, Sirius placed his hands in his best friends wife's private area, something he would never do, as lily did one more push, he then pulled out a small red bundle. The child started crying, and at this James awoke,
"Err born at 11:39pm" said Sirius,
"Who do you think you are, healer black," laughed James nervously, Sirius then placed the newly born black haired child onto his mother's chest,
"Hey at least I didn't pass out and miss my sons birth," argued the black as he stared intently at the child,
"MY SON, it's a boy," screamed James, all six eyes lay on the small child who was still screaming its lungs out, "he looks like me!!!"
"He does and all, feel for the poor lad," replied Sirius content, "I am going make sure nothing ever hurts him,"
"Aint we all," smiled lily, her throat sore but her heart pounding as she held her child. The picture began to spur out. They was now in a kitchen, a small carrycot lay on the table, lily Evans sat next to it with a cup of tea, next to her was Sirius black and standing behind her was her beloved husband and father to her child James Potter.
"We have decided to call him Harry, harry James potter," smiled lily looking down at her son, "what do you think?"
"I love it," Sirius smiling to in awe, "thank god he wasn't a girl, petunia really,"
"That's my sisters name," defended lily,
"Yeah well, that says it all," said James, lily decided it would be an endless battle so decided to give up.
"siri, thanks for everything, last night" said lily, talking obviously about Sirius single handling help lily give birth, "you were amazing,"
"I know well when some people pass out," Sirius smiled and looked at James, "you just have to step in,"
"you're going to be a big part in harry's life and we want you to more than just step in," explained James, knowing that his best friend, heck his brother would play a huge part in his sons life,
"What you mean babysit," joked Sirius, taking a sip of tea,
"No we want you to be godfather to harry," James said, looking at lily and then back to Sirius, "so if anything happens to us, you look after harry, what do you think?"
"I accept," Sirius said surprised. Him. Godfather, "thanks that's brill but nothing will happen to you to,"
"But it's just in case anything does, you will be there for harry," lily explained trying to be serious, Sirius nodded,
"its really just a fancy name for babysitter," the adults laughed, Sirius stood up and leaned over and picked up you harry James, "hey I'm your godfather, you can call me Sirius, pad foot, or hey why not godfather but that's a bit long so why no god!!"
The room exploded with laughter and again changed slightly, the atmosphere was tenser, James potter was now sitting down in lily's seat at the end of the table, lily sat on his left with the one year old child, harry on her lap, the young Sirius stood on the other side of the table, in the last year the adults had aged rapidly, there youth and innocence was long gone. The elder Sirius and Remus stood near the back door, watching the scene unravel.
"The Harringsons dead," James muttered, "I can't believe it, and I use to play with Johnny when I was a kid,"
Lily stroked her husbands back, the young Sirius looked down at the floor, he knew the Harrison's death would be hard on James; the potter's had always got on well with the Harrison's.
"He is getting stronger," lily said her eyes placed on the wooden table, "he will find us,"
"But peter..." both the men said in unison,
"is our friend and will never let us down, I know that, but nothing can stop voldermort, he will find us," lily sighed, Sirius went to protest, "no siri, he will, he has the Harrison's, the prewetts, the drews and he didn't even want them as bad as he want us,"
"It's true, he will find us," James said, knowing it was the truth, "might be tomorrow, might be in five years but he will,"
"You never know, the order is getting death eaters by the day," Sirius said trying to give hope to his depressed friend,
"and he is getting order members, ministry workers, muggles by the hour, its no use, if something big don't happen and soon, he will find us," lily cried looking down at her son, what would it be like growing up in this world?
"Sirius you know we will go to the ends of the earth to protect harry," James said, his voice no longer carrying the cheekiness it had only a year ago.
"Of course you would, nothing will ever happen to him while we are around," Sirius said looking down at his godson, he would die for this child, he would have died for it the moment he saw him.
"true, but how long will we be around, voldermort is going to find us and when he does who will be there for harry," lily asked her voice with despair, "if voldermort wants him, he will have to kill me first but who will look after harry once I'm dead,"
"Or me," added James,
"I will always be there for harry, I am his godfather,"
"Sirius I want you to promise, that once me and lily have...have died, you will protect harry, care and love just like we will," James asked, he hated to think of leaving his son but he would protect him no matter what,
"I promise, I promise James, that if anything ever happens to you two, I will protect harry, make sure he is ok," Sirius looked into James eye, mentally reassuring his friend, that why he is alive he will stop even a single hair on his godsons head being hurt,
"Even if you have other commitments, a family of your own," lily asked, she didn't doubt Sirius would look after harry but she had to make sure,
"he is my family, he will always come first, I promise, if anything happens I will make sure he is looked after," Sirius again keeping eye contact James, he loved this man, he loved this mans wife and child and although he hated voldermort, his hate for him would double if he did anything to those he loved, "James you are my brother and I would never let you do, I promise I will always be there for harry,"
"I know, I love you Sirius," James said, maunders love for each other was always silent, they would never admit to loving each other, they were fun, cheeky boys but over the past year had grown up a lot, perhaps too much,
"I love you too, and lily and harry, hell I love you all and always will," Sirius said a smile slowly forming on his face as he truly spoke every word. The men stepped out the puddle, tears poured down Sirius cheeks, he hadn't just broken one promise , he had promised ten times to be there for harry, and he never was.
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"See I betrayed them, just like peter," Sirius sniffled after a long silence, pushing his head into the sack,
"No you didn't, you promised that harry would not get hurt after James and lily went, and he has never required any medical attention Dumbledore's assistant says, you promised you would make sure he was safe..." Remus said quickly,
"Exactly I don't know if he is safe, I don't know where he is," Sirius muttered, cursing him,
"no but before you went after peter you made sure he was in good hands, you didn't leave him in godric hollow or bring him on a dangerous mission, you left him knowing he was going to family, family that would look after him, so you didn't break any promises to James or lily, except you wasn't there for him but that you can still do in the future," Remus said, he was too wise for such a young man, the stress of betrayal and death had aged him rapidly, "and you still love him, I can tell just like you did all those years ago,"
"Yeah, and I still love... them," he muttered, unable to use James and lily's names,
"I am so stupid," Remus said the light bulb finally clicking in his head,
"Why?" Sirius asked though unsure why, he was preoccupied at the moment and to be truthful didn't care why Remus thought of himself as stupid.
"I thought that you was in self pity, just thinking I did this, I didn't do that," Remus explained, "but your not, its obvious,"
"I'm not?" Sirius said, he too had been thinking the same, he realised several days ago that he didn't know anything about Remus and his last five years,
"No you're grieving," Remus said simply, "you lost James, lily and even harry and have never grieved for them,"
"I have, I spent years thinking about them and there death," Sirius said, his voice was shaking,
"Yes you did but you didn't grieve, it would have been impossible to do so with the dementors," he looked over at Sirius, and knew he didn't believe them, "Sirius had you ever grieved for James?"
"Yes," Sirius replied,
"Say his name then," Remus asked
"J...I cant," tears began pouring again, "I miss him ok!! Just like I did five years ago, he was my brother!!!"
"I still miss him siri, come on lets get inside," Sirius said, pulling his friend inside, they was going to get through it, Remus didn't know how but they would
